Yossipossi Authorphage

Yossipossi Authorphage



SCP Articles

SCP-8980Ergophobia: Without Regards
According to the Foundation Employee Handbook, consent is not a requirement for your containment.

SCP-8980 was my article for the 2024 SCP Anthology, a collaborative community project that took place during October for Halloween.

This piece I largely consider one of my greatest. Besides being my most well-known article by far, it was a new direction for my writing and my first (in my opinion) proper execution of deeper themes. It also took me months to write and is my longest piece to date.

In case the quote wasn't a big enough flag, give the content warnings a look before you decide to read. Trust me on this one.

SCP-8765Desiderium
By our own hand, we will all return to the sea.

SCP-8765 was my entry into SCP-8000 Contest. The theme was fantasy, and if my collection of articles is any indication, I don't really write fantasy — like, at all.

As such, this article — while I'm personally still fond of it — didn't quite get received with open arms. There was a lot of confusion surrounding its central premise and it didn't really hook people in.

That said, you may still enjoy taking a crack at "solving" it. I'm always happy to hear new interpretations of my works.

SCP-8630Pin the Dart on the Donkey
The definition of a "dart game" for the purposes of activating SCP-8630 appears to be vague.

This one's got a funny story behind it. I had the initial idea back during the SCP-7000 Contest, but I couldn't come up with any good premise for it. I gave the idea to djkaktusdjkaktus, who started writing, but eventually dropped the concept too.

Then, over a year later, while I was showering, I randomly got hit with a final twist that tied the piece together. I ended up writing this in a few hours that evening.

Perhaps the most fun I've had writing an SCP, despite its short length.

SCP-7777Heptaphobia
This file is to remain a permanent exception to our mission.

SCP-7777 was my entry into the SCP-7000 Contest, whose theme was "luck". Admittedly, this article doesn't have much to do with luck beyond randomness, but it still somehow managed to win second place.

Truth be told, I didn't really want to win the contest. I didn't consider SCP-7777 "worthy" of that honor, and didn't want to be known for it, even though the article is really perfectly fine in hindsight. Still, HarryBlankHarryBlank (the winner) and I had a nice chuckle about our rankings as we sat comfortably in our ivory towers built on sand. Good times.

SCP-7412 ft. AriadnesThreadThis Isn't A Jesus Allegory or Anything, House's Birth Was Just Kinda Like That
…I think I just had a stroke.

SCP-7412 was a random Tactical Theology draft that Ari and I came up with for RounderhouseRounderhouse's birthday. It was a very silly idea, but I think we pulled it off in a compelling way.

I don't have much commentary to add besides that the title, while very funny, was a pain in the ass to try and fit into any box for all iterations of my author page, including this one. Hindsight is 20/20, I suppose.

SCP-6969the joke is sex
Sex is a joke.
And we're the punchline.

This was my entry to the SCP-6000 Contest, which was themed "Nature". Truthfully, this entry was not supposed to exist; I was originally going to write a draft called Neurogenesis, but had to abandon it due to time conflicts.

The reason I wrote this draft is because I didn't see anyone (besides two very low-rated articles) request the SCP-6969 slot, except for a single entry themed around genocide. I didn't want that article to be in the 6969 slot, and so I wrote this in three hours. It was very funny to post, but it got people calling me "the sex guy" for a while, which was a headache.

SCP-6442 ft. Dr ShoulderMimir, Mímir
This document has been altered to exclude an undetermined portion of the full containment procedures for security concerns.

This article, despite its (imo) high quality, came from an unlikely place: r/DankMemesFromSite19. Specifically, Dr ShoulderDr Shoulder had made a meme involving the final twist of this article, which I thought had immense potential for a full story. I had an idea for this article's structure before, and Shoulder's idea slotted in perfectly.

Thus, SCP-6442 was born to incredible success. I'm still quite pleased with this article, and I think Shoulder is too — especially since it was an absolute hit, and did amazing for a first article.

SCP-6130In Hell, We Live
They should explicitly apologize to the subject before sending them away. The apology may be sincere.

SCP-6130 was an art exchange gift I wrote back in 2021 for ArcydziegielArcydziegiel. It was very similar to how it is now, except it did not feature the final collapsible. Reception to the article was mixed; I, myself, found it lacking in potential, and didn't particularly like it.

Then, in October of 2023, I finally came up with a better ending for the short skip. Not only was this new ending much better in my own eyes, but clearly resonated in the eyes of the community too, as it received over triple its old rating and even got a spin-off SCP, SCP-8209. Now that's what I call a rewrite.

SCP-5633 ft. magna2s, aismallard, Woedenaz, Uncle Nicolini, Tufto, Sterbai, Rounderhouse, Rex Atlas, Modulum, JackalRelated, & Captain KirbyThis Will Require A Great Amount of Blood
It is unclear whether or not this is effective — however, it is hypothesized that the more blood provided, the more likely information will be provided.

I don't have much to say on this one, honestly. You may notice the obscene amount of coauthors; that is because this article was an Exquisite Corpse, a piece of art produced by several artists in a row, only having the prior part of the art to work with to make their piece.

As you may expect, this means this article is barely cohesive and hardly makes sense. Still, I think it's a neat piece of art, if you're into that sort of thing.

SCP-5545 ft. Calibold𝙰 𝙱 𝙽 𝙾 𝚁 𝙼 𝙰 𝙻 𝙸 𝚃 𝚈
I need to know.

SCP-5545 was my entry into the Exquisite Corpse Contest, a contest where you received the containment procedures of another author and had to write the rest of the article. I thankfully got quite inspiring containment procedures from CaliboldCalibold, and wrote a piece based on my own experiences with paranoia.

While the execution is, at times, clumsy, I'm pretty fond of the piece. It was my first foray into writing about personal topics, and would pave the way for some of my later works that really hit it big, like SCP-8980. Thanks, Cali!

SCP-5334…And Let Me Play Among The Stars
Approximately once every 200 days, roughly 20,000 to 150,000 glass bottles will spontaneously disappear from the ring system.

One day, I randomly found the original version of this draft sitting in my sandbox untouched for several years. I had no recollection of writing the first draft, but I took the concept and reworked it into this article. While it's nowhere near my most impactful piece, I think it's quaint, and worth a few minutes to read over.

SCP-5001Sacrosanct
REVERT TO MY DOMAIN.

Ah, Sacrosanct. This was my first major article. Submitted for the SCP-5000 Contest (the theme was "Mystery"), I originally came up with the idea by thinking about Neon Genesis Evangelion while bored during prayer services. I thought the idea of the Foundation stumbling on an ancient, massive containment chamber was a really cool concept — I just needed to figure out how to shove a giant space laser into it. And SCP-5001 was born.

I ended up leading the contest for a few days (until overtaken by SCP-5000), and somehow ended in third place. No idea how that happened. Great ego boost though.

SCP-4792The Contingency
Praise Awet, cursed be Meshet! Let us all rejoice for such a momentous occasion!

This was my first solo SCP article. While the premise and plot are both quite simple, I enjoy the overall simplicity of the anomaly. Is the execution a little rough? Sure. Is it shorter than it should be? Probably. But do I think it's an enjoyable piece? Absolutely.

If I rewrote this article, I'd probably add a few more bells and whistles to help smooth over some rough patches in the execution. But as it stands, I'm content leaving it as it is. A nice little time capsule into my first (successful) forays of writing.

SCP-4531Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.
[RESTRICTED TO PERSONNEL ASSIGNED TO PROJECT TOCHACHA]

This was my first ever attempt to write a "serious" article that covered complex/dark themes. While I think I succeeded overall, the execution is… rough. Very rough. And unfortunately, it's rough enough that it obfuscates the actual themes a little.

I don't regret writing this piece, but it's a piece I think about on occasion and grimace at. Not that it's a bad article — the imagery, for instance, is marvelous even by my current standards — but it may be worth a rewrite in the future. So stay tuned for that, if I ever get around to it. Maybe I'll shorten the title to something that fits in these boxes better, too.

SCP-4213 ft. Doctor CimmerianI Scream
You're weird.

I actually wrote this one with Doctor CimmerianDoctor Cimmerian while I was vacationing in Hawaii when I was 18. I thought the idea of a person with unlimited power, but only wanted ice cream, was incredibly interesting and comedic. Cimmerian offered to write it with me, and we got to work.

In truth, I think the concept could have been drawn out a little more, played up more for comedy, and overall had more substance, but as it stands, it's a fun piece and goofy one-off anomaly. I didn't really like the draft post-publishing because of this "missed potential", but I've since come around again.

SCP-3635 ft. BlazingTrail, CorruptedMuseThe Forgotten Archive
Please remember. Don’t fight fire with fire.

My first ever piece for the SCP Wiki.

I wrote this all the way back in 2017, when I was freshly 15 (the Wiki's age limit was lower), with two friends from the SCPDeclassified Discord server. The article was… messy, to put it lightly: the plot wasn't very interesting, the dialogue wasn't well-written, and the concept was flimsy at times. But it survived, and it's how I started my journey on the Wiki.

It's not a good article by most standards, but I encourage you to read it regardless. I feel it serves as a reminder that creative writing isn't a talent you're born with; it's a skill you develop with practice.

SCP-001 ft. Tufto, djkaktusA Portrait of Hell
I look into the fire and I hope, by God I hope, for an ending.

This is my SCP-001 Proposal, written for the Public Domain Contest alongside TuftoTufto and djkaktusdjkaktus. I originally wasn't going to sign up for the contest (I hate collaborating, despite my track record), but the duo managed to rope me in by agreeing to write about my literary "blorbo" — Yoshihide from the short story Hell Screen.

This proposal is a love letter to Ryūnosuke Akutagawa, whose works I was introduced to through the video game Limbus Company. If you like this story, you'll love his. Please read his works — I promise, they're all worth your time.



Tales

New!

Feminine Wails{$title}
Happy first anniversary.

This is a one-year anniversary piece I wrote for SCP-8980, my most popular article.

It is the first poem (or, well, set of poems) I have ever written. I was given the idea to write an anniversary piece by PandoraNukerPandoraNuker, and I was (at the time) reading Emily Brontë's collected poetry, so the thought of writing a poem based on SCP-8980 stuck in my mind quite firmly.

It was very difficult to learn all the proper considerations of the form in such short order (especially with the 2025 SCP Anthology), but an incredibly educational and fun experience. I am eternally grateful to A Machine for SlothsA Machine for Sloths for their help.

The Cold Cult of the Yukon{$title}
What makes this case cold is the fact that, in spite of the tiny size of the town, no one knew who the kidnapped woman was.

This was my 2024 Art Exchange gift to stormbreathstormbreath, who wanted me to write a crewtime (true crime) Parawatch article. I don't consume true crime content, so this was a little difficult for me, but managed to draw solid inspiration from "scary story"/creepypasta YouTube channels.

The final product ended up (at least in my opinion) pretty dang good, despite my inexperience with the genre or Parawatch format. Hopefully you'll find the mystery of the story compelling too. And if you like it, go read all of the crewtime articles — they're all a treat!

Justifying Means Justifying Means{$title}
And yet, in my endless hate for hatred itself, I came to love You, O blaspheme of nature.

I wrote this one while suffering from an incredibly bad fever. This article is therefore, quite literally, a fever dream. I wrote it after feeling particularly upset about the (then-)current state of the world, and typed it all up in a few hours.

The next day, after the fever calmed down a little bit, I decided to review what I had written, and actually found it quite good. I polished it up a little, then posted it shortly thereafter. Despite the fact that I never wrote surrealism before or since, I think this is probably one of my favorite tales I've written. Kinda funny how that works.

A Very High Holiday{$title}
Only a lunatic could knock on a Kabbalist's door by himself at three AM, no?

This was my 2023 Art Exchange gift for UNCGriffinUNCGriffin, whose first two options for gifts were "a slice-of-life GAW tale" or "something Jewish". I delivered both with this piece.

Esther Kogan ("lesbian_gengar") was a character I had never really looked into before, but I'm glad I did. She is an amazing Jewish character, and I'm glad I was able to write a work about her for Channukah.

I got some very nice feedback from kinchtheknifebladekinchtheknifeblade on this tale, who told me that Griffin would think they (Esther's original author) wrote the tale. I am still very proud of that.

In Restless Dreams, I Walked Alone.{$title}
As she walked from the alleyway, the bright sun piercing through the cloudy sky on a frozen day, an unfamiliar train from a distant place rolled into its station nearby.

This was my 2022 Art Exchange gift (notice a pattern?) for TuftoTufto, who wanted a tale set in the Lampeter setting of SCP-7005.

This one was, admittedly, a little difficult for me to write. While the plot was great and I am still fond of the execution, the prose wasn't really up to my standards and the themes are a bit wonky, primarily due to the time constraints of Art Exchange. Still, I think it's a decently good piece in retrospect, and I still encourage the read.

Partner's Mission{$title}
The House always wins. Bitch.

This piece I wrote as a birthday gift for RounderhouseRounderhouse back in early 2022. It's the sequel to a piece he wrote for me for Art Exchange in late 2020, that being Partner's Meeting.

While I think the piece is very unpolished and the dialogue is pretty cliche, there's still some jokes that manage to make me laugh. I recommend this one if you want a light, funny read.

Present Tense{$title}
A million to one, there was almost certain chance of failure.
Yet, they continued anyways. Just like him.

This was a tale I wrote for my friend ModulumModulum back in 2019. It's the second tale I've written in the Shattered Thoughts setting (and also just the second tale I've written period), starting with SCP-3426.

It's not my best work, but it's a nice and short character piece that ends on a hopeful note. I think you'll enjoy it; it's a quick read regardless.

Unbidden{$title}
Much can be learnt from this encounter with a kind from beyond the veil of reality, if only there was anyone left to analyze it.

My first tale. This was a companion piece to SCP-3426, set in the Shattered Thoughts setting. At the time, I was consuming a large quantity of H.P. Lovecraft's works, so I was itching to write some cosmic horror.

This piece is the result of that itch. While it's got some flaws, I still really like it; perhaps it's because I was so strongly trying to emulate Lovecraft's style, which gave it character. Regardless, it's a great standalone tale despite its age; give it a look!



Jokes

The Totally Legit SCP Anthology 2025! ft. Jak Mockery{$title}
We welcome you to the nexus of depravity. We welcome you to the Boundryless Confines.

This was my April Fools article for 2025, and let me tell you, this is by far the most amount of effort I've spent on utter bullshit.

I got the idea for this in the 2024 SCP Anthology server back in September, and got to work immediately. Part of that time was needing to read every Anthology 2024 entry to parody them all, and part of it was writing clever audio for Jak MockeryJak Mockery to record. It was an absolute blast to come up with some many jokes and practice my audio-editing skills.

It's also open to contributors! Take a look!

SCP-6969-JThe End of Sex 6.9: You Can (Not) Reproduce
I suppose this truly was, in the end, The End of Sex 6.9: You Can (Not) Reproduce (2022)

Yes, this article is one long set up for a Neon Genesis Evangelion reference.

SCP-6969-J was my April Fools 2022 article. This was posted about a year after SCP-6969, and is a "direct sequel" to it, when I was still being referred to as "the sex guy" (see that placard above). It's also an affectionate parody of the ADMONITION articles, with its overbombasticism and technobabble galore.

This article wouldn't have been possible without Agent WhitneyAgent Whitney, who helped me with her author avatar's lore and even drew the final image of the article. Thank you!

YOSSISTYLE CSS THEME{$title}
If I'm gonna be honest, I have no clue how to include this in a page.

April Fools 2021. I'll be honest: I don't have much I want to say about this one. It's a dumb joke about personal "styles" that were popular on the Wiki at the time, which have since largely fallen out of favor. Some jokes are funny, some are pretty dumb. You read and be the judge.

The Totally Legit SCP-6000 Entry Contest!{$title}
Special thanks to the entire Internet Outreach Team for helping to cover this disaster up!

Honestly I can barely remember why I wrote this, besides that it was 2020 April Fools, and right off the coattails of the SCP-5000 Contest. There are a lot of parodies of SCP-5000 entries and inside jokes among friends sprinkled in, so it's quite surprising that it sits at a rating of well over 300 now.

Not that I'm complaining. But if you read this, don't expect to get every joke unless you were around for the SCP-5000 Contest yourself.




Other


SCP Anthology 2025The 2025 SCP Horror Anthology for October
Tactical Theology HubHub for the Department of Tactical Theology
Ad Abyssum Theme PenumbraPenumbra Theme for the Department of Tactical Theology
Ad Abyssum ThemeTheme for the Department of Tactical Theology
Shattered Thoughts ThemeTheme for the Shattered Thoughts setting.



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