GRANT REQUEST FOR THE UTILIZATION OF PARIS ARCHITECTURE TO PERFORM A MASS EXORCISM OF THE GHOSTS STILL LINGERING WITHIN THE CITY
by Dr. Jonah Matthews, 1902
PROBLEM
According to the latest statistics, Paris has the highest ratio of ghosts to living inhabitants out of all cities in the world.1 Data from last year reveals that there exist as many as 0.005 ghosts per Paris inhabitant; therefore, the total undead population of Paris is approximately 13,500. For comparison, the average number of ghosts per major European city is around 250.[1]
Fig 1.1: An unidentified spirit, pictured during its journey through Versailles.
In the current Era of Normalcy — ushered in in 1868 with the signing of the Convention on Preternatural Phenomena by many organizations around the world, including the then newly-created SCP Foundation — these statistics are entirely unacceptable. As of writing, Paris exceeds the Foundation-made Spectral Activity Index — an index that dictates the acceptable amount of spectral activities in major cities under the Veil of Normalcy — by over 2000%.
Fig 1.2: The Catacombs of Paris — the largest ghost settlement in Paris — captured alongside one of its spectral inhabitants.
This phenomenon has many causes, the origins of which cannot simply be eliminated. From the Catacombs located beneath the city — which are one of largest spectral habitats in the world — to the fact that Paris has historically been the site of several events that led to mass reanimations of ghosts,2 these problems are not sources that can simply be fixed by standard exorcisms. The spiritual population of Paris is just too large — and exists over too vast an area — for normal exorcism procedures to be effective.
In previous eras, Paris' spectral issues were dealt with by the Estate Noir and its network of anti-paranormal activity, which covered the whole of France. However, following its incorporation into the SCP Foundation during its formation, the Estate's previous projects were given smaller priorities than other Foundation undertakings. During this time, the National Gendastrerie — which frequently collaborated with the Estate Noir — has taken over most of the Estate's former operational areas. However, due to its lack of experience in ghost-related matters, the Gendastrerie is incapable of dealing with the aforementioned problem alone.
Prometheus Laboratories almost never deals with issues such as this one. In most cases, it is beyond our competence and interests to directly maintain the conditions favorable to the continued existence of the Veil of Normality. However, the case of Paris' ghosts is a special one, as the National Gendastrerie itself has directly contacted Prometheus, requesting its aid in solving this problem.
Prometheus Laboratories is not a charity. Nonetheless, since the Gendastrerie's offer explains that in exchange for helping with the issue at hand, Prometheus would receive substantial financial funding (as much as $300,0003) and a sizable amount of artifacts with high scientific potential from its archives, I believe that helping this organization would be a worthwhile research project.
SOLUTION
As already mentioned, in order to deal with the problem plaguing Paris, single, targeted exorcisms would not prove sufficient. Due to the small area that a single spell can cover as well as the limited number of spectral entities it is capable of encompassing with its effect, using them would not only be extremely ineffective but, due to the distrustful and skittish nature of ghosts, virtually impossible.[2] A new type of exorcism ritual must therefore be utilized — one that would instantly encompass the entire city with its effect and exorcise all ghosts from it at once.
FIg 2.1: A sketch showing the first drafts of the Eiffel Tower's design. The calculations showcasing its occult geometry were not included in the drawing.
Performing such a ritual, however, would not be a simple task. In order to effectively cast a spell that would simultaneously cover an area of over 25,000 km2, one would need a virtually unattainable amount of thaumic energy and thaumaturgists who would be able to generate and then control it. [3] Even if there were enough mages within the ranks of all the organizations that Prometheus Laboratories is composed of to carry out such a spell, covering the area of the entire city would be impossible without providing the personnel with irrilite4 equipment. Irrilite equipment that we not only do not possess, but due to its price would never even be able to purchase.
Therefore a much simpler — as well as more effective — solution must be applied, here: a ritual that will encompass the entirety of Paris, performed not by individual mages, but by a team of thaumaturgists gathered in the very occult heart of Paris; a place that metaphysically represents the center of leylines in the city, the Eiffel Tower.
Fig 2.2: The Eiffel Tower, photographed during the first tests of its thaumaturgical conductivity, as carried out by Prometheus' Department of Meteorology.
Although the Eiffel Tower has not been created for occult purposes, it is hard not to point out that it is quite ideal for them. From its location in the center of the city through its height to its perfectly geometrical properties, the tower provides a site that is practically perfect for any ritual that would be performed in Paris.[4] Moreover, a special irrilite core could be installed inside the tower, the size of which wouldn't necessarily be substantial — a fact that would drastically reduce the cost of such apparatus — and which would greatly increase the occult potential of any spell performed inside the tower.
Previous tests carried out by meteorologomancers employed by Prometheus Laboratories unequivocally confirm that, if utilized correctly, the Eiffel Tower would act as an excellent occult beacon capable of distributing thaumaturgical energy throughout the entirety of Paris.
Once the appropriate modifications have been made to the tower — such as the addition of the aforementioned irrilite core, which will act as the center of the spell, and the engraving of occult symbols around the ritual site — a specially prepared team of skilled thaumaturgists will climb the building. This team will consist of four necromancers, four ectomancers, four exorcists, and one battlemage. By employing a wide range of personnel who are attuned to detecting other energies associated with the dead — along with the immense power possessed by the battlemage, Die Orchestrierung, a veteran of the Sixth Occult War — this group will create an occult atmosphere that would make their task vastly easier. Moreover, due to the thirteen-member count of this team,5 their task will be also made significantly easier.[5]
Once a Litany of Exorcism is properly performed at exactly 03:00 and its energies channeled into the irrilite core, the team of thaumaturgists will release the spell directly onto the Eiffel Tower, whose rune-enhanced geometry will appropriately carry the ritual to the very top of the tower and release it across the entirety of Paris.
BUSINESS CASE
As the project is a one-time commission by the National Gendastrerie, an organization that offers to cover all project expenses, marketing — and selling — the project will not be necessary. Despite this, it is certain that during the execution of the project Prometheus Laboratories will acquire an abundance of useful data in the fields of necromancy, ectology, and exorcism, which could later be sold to various third parties such as the SCP Foundation, the Catholic Church, the Factory, or Marshall, Carter & Dark.
Moreover, the irrilite core that shall be produced during the project will be an extremely useful tool for Prometheus, and could theoretically be later sold at a higher price, resulting in huge profits. Alternatively, should the core be left at the top of the Eiffel Tower, it would allow Prometheus to perform other Paris-wide rituals in the future — such as, for example, rituals meant for controlling the weather over the city — which would also surely prove to be extremely lucrative ventures.
USE OF FUNDING
A majority of the $300,000 budget that the National Gendastrerie has allocated to the project will be devoted to purchasing the materials required for the creation of the irrilite core, which will be crafted and smelted in a specifically tailored thaumaturgically-null furnace. Although Prometheus Laboratories is already in possession of a large amount of unused irrilite, these materials are not sufficient to produce such a core. Purchasing the remaining required materials would cost $200,000; the cost of its actual construction and smelting would amount to $15,000.
The second — and by far most important — cost associated with the project would be the pay given to the team of thirteen thaumaturgists that would operate the ritual. Each such participant would be given $5,000 worth of salary. In total, all costs related to the project would add up to $280,000, leaving Prometheus Laboratories with a profit of $20,000, which could later be divided among the research team as salary or allocated for use in other scientific projects.
KNOWN ISSUES
Due to the relatively straightforward nature of the proposed ritual, the amount of potential associated problems is low. Although the thaumaturgists hired for the needs of the project could theoretically perform the ritual incorrectly, given their years of experience and a long history of successful tasks performed on behalf of Prometheus Laboratory, such a risk is bordering on nonexistent. Similarly impossible is the chance that the irrilite core produced for the needs of the project would not be 100% pure — as it would be manufactured locally in Prometheus' own furnaces, the risk of such a problem is almost zero.
The only potential complication that may arise during the execution of the project is the occurrence of a thaumaturgical reaction that would cover a larger area than the one intended. However, this is a problem of a purely theoretical nature. Since Prometheus Laboratories has never attempted to perform a spell with such a wide area of effect, it is technically possible that the energy released by the thaumic team would cover an area larger than just Paris, potentially interpreting other Eiffel Tower-like objects — such as, for example, the entire globe due to its perfectly thaumic rotation — as amplifiers of energy.[6]
Such a situation would lead to the exorcism of all spirits worldwide — including the genius loci of certain locations, such as the Mayor of Three Portlands — which would be a vastly undesirable end result. However, due to the extremely low chance of such an effect occurring during the ritual, it should prove of little worry to project personnel.
Dr. Matthews,
I have halted the approval process of your proposal — not because the project itself is somehow bad work (it really is fantastic), but because it is completely unnecessary.
Performing calculations related to the potential problem of an infinite geometrically-thaumaturgical chain reaction that you had mentioned, my team came to two fascinating conclusions. The first is the realization that what Jonathan Carver has written in his original publication is incorrect data. Due to the insufficient thaumic conductivity of the Earth's crust, the energy of any ritual would never be able to interpret the Earth's rotation as an adequate geometrically-thaumaturgical conductor to infinitely continue its reaction. The second conclusion we came to is that the geometry of the Eiffel Tower — that of its top notwithstanding — is so perfect that its structure would act as a cage for the ritual's thaumic energy, not allowing it to escape through any other parts of the structure except the one your thaumaturgists would direct it through anyway.
Shortly afterwards, we have also once again reviewed the data you quoted related to the number of ghosts in Paris. Here, too, we came to a shocking revelation.
You see, in recent years — more precisely, in years since 1889 — the city's spiritual population has begun to significantly decline. Putting two and two together left us with one conclusion: it was the geometry of the Eiffel Tower, the construction of which was completed that very year, that was actively leading to the dissipation of ghosts within Paris. However, the quality that I'm refering to here isn't its occult geometry — rather, it is its baseline geometry.
As a monument commemorating the Great Revolution, the tower is a modernist symbol of the advent of new times. From its modern design to the innovative materials used during its construction, it seems that the tower has become a sort of marker of a new era. It would seem that immortalizing the memory of the French Revolution — which the tower actively represents — has officially put the final nail in the coffin of many of the still restless spirits that have wandered around Paris ever since the event, eternally dissatisfied with their deaths.
One could almost say that the creation of such a huge and modern structure is the world's official signature under the declaration of the Era of Normalcy. Just with its very existence, the Eiffel Tower seems to represent a farewell to the old days — the days that consider fairytales and legends to be the truth and that relish in the conservatism of what once was, in both art and politics — and a welcome to the future. A future where science and reason rule above myths and magic; a world where the line between metaphysics and physics is drawn very clearly by the SCP Foundation.
With a heavy heart — and no small admiration for the proposal itself — I am officially putting the project on hold due to it simply being unneeded. I suggest that you use the $300,000 for other purposes — ones that currently really do require a solution.
Regards,
— Prometheus Laboratories Mathematics Department, Prof. Douglas Garfield
