Wilson's Wildlife Solutions Hub

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Welcome to Wilson's Wildlife Solutions!

Boring Agreement Prelude

"In this world, normalcy is difficult to maintain. The regulation of the anomalous is a strain on all those involved, in all ways involved. Funds, personnel, our very humanity is taxed. However, it is of utmost importance that normalcy is maintained, as that has been, and continues to be, part of The Foundation's prime directive.

Due to the importance of normalcy, containment of anomalies is generally undertaken by The Foundation, with little exception that is within our control. However, due to rising anomalous activity, we have been forced to examine our own resources, and while they are plentiful, they are not infinite. It is because of this inherent, undeniable limit to our influence, that we make this proposition.

The Boring Agreement is not just an outline of steps and regulations, or contractual legalization that allows Wilson's Wildlife Solutions to interact with anomalies. It is a pact. A pact that must be upheld, no matter the costs. The Boring Agreement is Wilson's Wildlife Solutions pledge to maintain normalcy, and to bear all burdens that the duty entails.

Secure. Contain. Protect."


Hello, pardner! It looks like you fine fellow have found yourself in Clackamas County and the town of Boring, Oregon, that can claim to have the least fitting name in all of the United States — except maybe Hell over in Michigan. For those of us who grew up here, it sure may as well be boring as all boring can get, but we've recently run into some people who we affectionately refer to as the Supervisors, and through some conversations here and small talk there we know that we apparently live in what some call a "nexus". A nexus that gives us some weird animals 'round these parts.

I, myself, am Tim Wilson, the founder of this wonderful community-funded organization that goes by the name Wilson's Wildlife Solutions! You have wildlife problems, and we solve them. Recently we've gotten some new sources of cash, so we're spreading our horizons all across Oregon, which is known (but not by most) as the world's greatest source of exotic fauna. The Amazon may have its parakeets and tigers or whatever lives down there, but up here we got big supposedly extinct birds, cleverly calming turtles, money-driven crows, time-hopping coyotes, and the like.

We've been operational since 1997, when I was but a wee lad of 42 years, and we have been under official supervision since 2008 upon the signing of the legendary Boring Agreement (which came about after the infamous Ursus Maritimus Incident). Since then, it has been cake eating and smooth sailing! Well, as of the time of writing. The world is a crazy place, and it's honestly a bit surprising just how well we have all been handling it. Let's hope that we stay that way.

What We're All About

Our organizational structure is flimsy at best, but it works. I, Tim Wilson, am the founder, and some people are second in command, and some people are below them, and everyone does what they are best at and what they want to do. Officially, we can be called by anyone in Clackamas County to handle, say, a group of deer that consistently block the road or raccoons that keep getting into the trash. Unofficially, we can be called by anyone in Oregon and be expected to respond, for reasons much more esoteric than our website lists (we have a website, by the way). We're also officially a wildlife rehabilitation center. Get us some animals with broken legs or birds with clipped wings and we will get them back on their feet, guaranteed. It's what we do.

As a team, we're ecologists, zoologists, veterinarians, animal control specialists, environmentalists, passionate individuals, friends, and family. We're capable, we're innovative, and we're really, really nice most of the time. Come say hi!

Reading Material

Supervised Projects

Independent Projects

Project Author
Adoption Poster: Bandit! Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini
Adoption Poster: Bonzo! DrGoodayDrGooday
Adoption Poster: Cupid! Krombopulos_WillKrombopulos_Will
Adoption Poster: Darius! Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini
Adoption Poster: Friday! Dino--DrawsDino--Draws
Adoption Poster: Lloyd! AloicesAloices
Adoption Poster: Ol' Shock! stormbreathstormbreath
Adoption Poster: Pearl! RounderhouseRounderhouse
Adoption Poster: Phoebe! GreenGolemGreenGolem
Critter Profile: Arorangi! margssentifmargssentif
Critter Profile: Bakugo! (user deleted)
Critter Profile: Bartholomew! Lt FlopsLt Flops
Critter Profile: Big Blue! Fish^12Fish^12
Critter Profile: CACK Dealer! HarmacyHarmacy
Critter Profile: Caddy! RecursiveRecursionRecursiveRecursion
Critter Profile: Cappi! Ellie3Ellie3
Critter Profile: Chel! EthanHansonEthanHanson
Critter Profile: Chuck. Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini
Critter Profile: Clara! SebarusSebarus
Critter Profile: Constantine! MetalRavioliMetalRavioli
Critter Profile: Corey! QueeriousQueerious
Critter Profile: Davy Bones! TropinanoTropinano
Critter Profile: Francis! ratking666ratking666
Critter Profile: Gabby! ScarfDyedShadowScarfDyedShadow
Critter Profile: Geist! SebarusSebarus
Critter Profile: Genghis! JackalRelatedJackalRelated
Critter Profile: kijetesantakalu! Calamari_KnightCalamari_Knight
Critter Profile: Lintbugs! Dr AsteriaDr Asteria
Critter Profile: Max! R4_EXR4_EX
Critter Profile: Maya! Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini
Critter Profile: Midas! AyersAyers
Critter Profile: Miss Cassandra! winkwonkboiwinkwonkboi
Critter Profile: Nuala! TropinanoTropinano
Critter Profile: Otis! AnorrackAnorrack
Critter Profile: Potoooooooo! HunterDogHunterDog
Critter Profile: Reggie ThaumicSlitThaumicSlit
Critter Profile: Ringo! HotColesHotColes
Critter Profile: Sampson! DrAnnoyingDogDrAnnoyingDog
Critter Profile: Sandra And George! Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini
Critter Profile: Shigastan! newnykacolaquantumnewnykacolaquantum
Critter Profile: Sparky! RallistonRalliston
Critter Profile: Swift! AvocadoMilkAvocadoMilk
Critter Profile: Tangerine! DrApricusDrApricus
Critter Profile: The Polar Bear! DrAnnoyingDogDrAnnoyingDog
Critter Profile: Thunder! RhineriverRhineriver
Critter Profile: Tiramisu! MsBlackandBlueMsBlackandBlue
Critter Profile: Trixie Dr AvenleeDr Avenlee
Critter Profile: Tyler! kingmeatballskingmeatballs
Critter Profile: Vizzie! Ellie3Ellie3
Critter Profile: Wobbles! DrAnnoyingDogDrAnnoyingDog
Critter Profile: ZARGOTH, DESTROYER OF DIMENSIONS! DarkStuffDarkStuff
Danger: Incinideer! INT_TranslatorINT_Translator
Danger: Trilobits! Agente ShuffleAgente Shuffle
Danger: Trunko! (user deleted)

Anecdotes From the Guys

Story Author
& the Endings Thereof DarkStuffDarkStuff
A Bear-ly Thought Out Plan SecretCrowSecretCrow
A Strange Orientation XaiviarNightwingXaiviarNightwing
A Transfer of Responsibility Dr John SilverDr John Silver
A Walk Along The Riverside DrAnnoyingDogDrAnnoyingDog
A Welcome Distraction DarkStuffDarkStuff
Alice Özdemir DarkStuffDarkStuff
Anders & Robin DarkStuffDarkStuff
Animals, Shapeshifters, The Wilsons, And Faran Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini
Audrey Fuchs DarkStuffDarkStuff
Blake Tillerson DarkStuffDarkStuff
Borne on the FM Waves of the Heart Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini
Caged Bird Sings Jacob ConwellJacob Conwell
Catfish fieldstonefieldstone
Dad Goes to the Zoo DarkStuffDarkStuff
Disconnect DarkStuffDarkStuff
Diving in the San Diego Sea DarkStuffDarkStuff
Do you like Huey Lewis and the News? RounderhouseRounderhouse
Elliot & Edna Had a Son Named Tim DarkStuffDarkStuff
Fae Goes to the Shelter DarkStuffDarkStuff
Grin and Bear It keyiikeyii
I Don't Get It, But I'll Figure It Out. Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini
I Get It DarkStuffDarkStuff
Learn To Live Ellie3Ellie3
Letters from Oregon DarkStuffDarkStuff
Metamorphosis, or, That One Time Dr. Everwood Got Turned Into A Beetle HarryBlankHarryBlank
Off the Hook DarkStuffDarkStuff
Old Connections DarkStuffDarkStuff
On the Radar DarkStuffDarkStuff
Out of Stasis DarkStuffDarkStuff
Over My Doberman Elenee FishTruckElenee FishTruck
Poky And Pal Scheme Together Captain KirbyCaptain Kirby
Poky Ball Z HotColesHotColes
Population Control(led) OthellotheCatOthellotheCat
Project Hellhound The Great HippoThe Great Hippo
Reality TV, Designer Pets, and Fine Dining Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini
Spread the Word HarryBlankHarryBlank
Taking Care of the Kids kinchtheknifebladekinchtheknifeblade
The Beginnings of Love DarkStuffDarkStuff
The Bowe Decommission, Part Three HarryBlankHarryBlank
The Fundraiser DarkStuffDarkStuff
The Heart of the Beast aismallardaismallard
The Mon-Key To Happiness DeviantDharmaDeviantDharma
The Old New DarkStuffDarkStuff
The Supervisors DarkStuffDarkStuff
The Years Between DarkStuffDarkStuff
Tim & Audrey Had a Daughter Named Fae DarkStuffDarkStuff
Tim Wilson DarkStuffDarkStuff
Tim Wilson's Close Shave Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini
Whack-a-Mole HarryBlankHarryBlank
Wilson's Wildlife Adoption Gallery RallistonRalliston
Wilson's Wildlife Shelter DarkStuffDarkStuff
Wilson's Wildlife Solutions Orientation Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini
World of Difference HarryBlankHarryBlank
You Have Roaches fieldstonefieldstone

Other People Interacting w/ Us

Wilson's Abroad

Multi-Parters for Long Camping Trips

Everything Else

Writing Material

Loosely Followed Format(s)

Format! How would us geo-eyes even have identities without unique formats? Well we got just the darnedest, most clean format one can ever possibly hope for (so bland, in fact, that we've been silently hoping that some kind of graphic designers comes and helps us out some time soon). It's functional and the colors are pleasant, so we keep it around.

While we have plenty of different formats for all types of occasions, here are the divs we use to let us stand out and feel fresh (and minty). Note that these divs, by default, only work when using either the Wilson's Wildlife Solutions or Wilderness themes! To use them outside of the theme, copy the css module below:

Border Div

[[div class="wilson-border"]]

This is what gives us our crisp, nice borders. You would put this div before any other divs, and end it with [[/div]] after ending all other divs. It's nice, and was gifted to us by a pal.

Beginning & End Divs

[[div class="wilson-header"]]

These are bookends. The first one typically introduces a title and a prelude to what the format is gonna be, and at the end we tend to use them as short conclusions. Of course, we don't always end with them (take a quick look below and you'll see that), but we do always start with them.


[[div class="wilson-subtitle"]]

These things are used as subdivisions or subtitles under the bigger title. For example, right now you are reading under the "Loosely Followed Format(s)" subtitle.

Main Bulk Divs

[[div class="wilson-body"]]

This is what creates that nice minty color that you are reading over right now! Crazy, right? These are used for all the meaty actual ready (read as "read-y") bits. Not much else to say about them, you now know all the divs and what they do! Congratulations!

About Critter Profiles…
Just in case you can't figure out the fancy div things (and truth be told, I wouldn't blame you! I'm pretty bad with computers myself!) here is a very easy copy and paste information for a Critter Profile!

Our CSS Theme

Now, the last thing here would be what you might have also noticed on this page… the Wilson's Wildlife CSS theme! It makes things so minty, aah, so fresh, aah, so pleasant, ooo, and it makes our above divs real easy to use!

If you want to put it in your article, you just gotta copy this handy dandy code right here:

[[include :scp-wiki:theme:wilsons]]

And put it at the tippy top of your article. Bing! Any WWS story instantly made homier, and classier, and themier!

But if you're a fan of the Black Highlighter CSS theme, there's also a version of our theme for you! It has all the same pleasing aesthetics of our first theme, but with a new layout. To use it, copy the following into the beginning of your article!

[[include :scp-wiki:theme:black-highlighter-theme]]
[[include :scp-wiki:theme:wilderness]]

So neat! So nifty! Thank you so so much to our wonderful Mr. S. Breath who made the majority of this theme! And with that, we're all done here. Adios!

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License