Welcome to Wilson's Wildlife Solutions!
Boring Agreement Prelude
"In this world, normalcy is difficult to maintain. The regulation of the anomalous is a strain on all those involved, in all ways involved. Funds, personnel, our very humanity is taxed. However, it is of utmost importance that normalcy is maintained, as that has been, and continues to be, part of The Foundation's prime directive.
Due to the importance of normalcy, containment of anomalies is generally undertaken by The Foundation, with little exception that is within our control. However, due to rising anomalous activity, we have been forced to examine our own resources, and while they are plentiful, they are not infinite. It is because of this inherent, undeniable limit to our influence, that we make this proposition.
The Boring Agreement is not just an outline of steps and regulations, or contractual legalization that allows Wilson's Wildlife Solutions to interact with anomalies. It is a pact. A pact that must be upheld, no matter the costs. The Boring Agreement is Wilson's Wildlife Solutions pledge to maintain normalcy, and to bear all burdens that the duty entails.
Secure. Contain. Protect."
Introduction
Hello, pardner! It looks like you fine fellow have found yourself in Clackamas County and the town of Boring, Oregon, that can claim to have the least fitting name in all of the United States — except maybe Hell over in Michigan. For those of you who grew up here, it sure may as well be boring as all boring can get, but we've recently run into some people who we affectionately refer to as the Supervisors, and through some conversations here and small talk there we know that we apparently live in what some call a "nexus". A nexus that gives us some weird animals 'round these parts.
I, myself, am Tim Wilson, the founder of this wonderful community-funded organization that goes by the name Wilson's Wildlife Solutions! You have wildlife problems, and we solve them. Recently we've gotten some new sources of cash, so we're spreading our horizons all across Oregon, which is known (but not by most) as the world's greatest source of exotic fauna. The Amazon may have its parakeets and tigers or whatever lives down there, but up here we got big supposedly extinct birds, cleverly calming turtles, money-driven crows, time-hopping coyotes, and the like.
We've been operational since 1997, when I was but a wee lad of 42 years, and we have been under official supervision since 2008 upon the signing of the legendary Boring Agreement (which came about after the infamous Ursus Maritimus Incident). Since then, it has been much different, both in good and bad ways! Well, as of the time of writing. The world is a crazy place, and it's honestly a bit surprising just how well we have all been handling it. Let's hope that we stay that way.
What We're All About
Our organizational structure is flimsy at best, but it works. I, Tim Wilson, am the founder, and some people are second in command, and some people are below them, and everyone does what they are best at and what they want to do. Officially, we can be called by anyone in Clackamas County to handle, say, a group of deer that consistently block the road or raccoons that keep getting into the trash. Unofficially, we can be called by anyone in Oregon and be expected to respond, for reasons much more esoteric than our website lists (we have a website, by the way). We're also officially a wildlife rehabilitation center. Get us some animals with broken legs or birds with clipped wings and we will get them back on their feet, guaranteed. It's what we do.
As a team, we're ecologists, zoologists, veterinarians, animal control specialists, environmentalists, passionate individuals, friends, and family. We're capable, we're innovative, and we're really, really nice most of the time. Come say hi!
Reading Material
Supervised Projects
Independent Projects
Anecdotes From the Guys
Other People Interacting w/ Us
Wilson's Abroad
Multi-Parters for Long Camping Trips
Everything Else
How To Write
Themes
Wilson's Wildlife Solutions is largely where the mundane intersects with the anomalous. These are ordinary people leading ordinary lives who are volunteers/employees (but mostly volunteers) of an extraordinary organization. Unlike the Foundation's "hard men making hard decisions" aspect, Wilson's is a much more relaxed and friendly bunch. They endear themselves to the animals. They give the critters nicknames and treats. They love, care for, and treat the critters humanely.
If this sounds very slice-of-life-y to you, that's because it is! Whereas the Foundation has research labs, Wilson's has a small library of veterinary care books. Whereas the Foundation has Mobile Task Forces, Wilson's has a few guys in a pickup with nets, cages, and leashes. Whereas the Foundation has an infinite budget and contains threats beyond human comprehension, Wilson's is community-funded (with some help from the Foundation) and only contains Safe to Euclid anomalies.
Small scale, personal stories are where Wilson's truly shines, so if that sounds good to you, feel free to run with it!
On Tim and Faeowynn Wilson
Tim and Faeowynn Wilson are the two main driving forces behind Wilson's Wildlife Solutions, and are father and daughter.
Tim was born in San Diego, California and moved up to Boring, Oregon in his early 20s after separating from his wife Audrey and first child, Faeowynn. He remarried Alice in Boring and had two more children, Robin and Anders, and went on to fund Wilson's Wildlife Solutions in 1997 as Wilson's Wildlife Shelter where he, 'Old Al', and a few others began wrangling the strange wildlife that showed up in the town from time to time.
He led the Shelter up until it became the Center in 2008 following the Ursus Maritimus Incident and the Foundation's (who are known as "The Supervisors" to Wilson's staff) intervention in the event. He continued to lead it until his passing in July 2024, where it was taken over by Faeowynn. Tim much prefers being with the animals and neglects to do paperwork. He is often out in the field, catching critters and working with the in-house Foundation stationed MTF Beta-4 "Castaways".
Faeowynn (born Felix; she is transgender) was also born in San Diego. She and Tim did not have the best of relationships after her mother passed away and Tim didn't come to the funeral because he was too busy dealing with the Center. She went away to university at NYU for accounting and graduated with a decent GPA, and decided to confront her father for abandoning her and her mother, only to be met with the anomalous at the Center. Faeowynn quickly became a part of it, serving as Chief Financial Officer and dealing with a lot of paperwork Tim had outright neglected.
Fae is a complicated character. She is filled with resentment towards her father for justifiable reasons, but still loves him. She likes her work and what she does, but distrusts the Foundation. She sympathizes with members of other GoIs that are oppressed by the Foundation, and even has her own secrets against the Supervisors. She is overall a highly capable person, but very emotionally withdrawn. Despite this, she is dating fellow Center employee Alex Molina, who is very understanding of her idiosyncrasies and supports her like no other.
Writing Material
Loosely Followed Format(s)
Format! How would us geo-eyes even have identities without unique formats? Well we got just the darnedest, most clean format one can ever possibly hope for (so bland, in fact, that we've been silently hoping that some kind of graphic designers comes and helps us out some time soon). It's functional and the colors are pleasant, so we keep it around.
While we have plenty of different formats for all types of occasions, here are the divs we use to let us stand out and feel fresh (and minty). Note that these divs, by default, only work when using either the Wilson's Wildlife Solutions or Wilderness themes! To use them outside of the theme, copy the css module below:
Border Div
[[div class="wilson-border"]]
This is what gives us our crisp, nice borders. You would put this div before any other divs, and end it with [[/div]] after ending all other divs. It's nice, and was gifted to us by a pal.
Beginning & End Divs
[[div class="wilson-header"]]
These are bookends. The first one typically introduces a title and a prelude to what the format is gonna be, and at the end we tend to use them as short conclusions. Of course, we don't always end with them (take a quick look below and you'll see that), but we do always start with them.
Sub-div-isions
[[div class="wilson-subtitle"]]
These things are used as subdivisions or subtitles under the bigger title. For example, right now you are reading under the "Loosely Followed Format(s)" subtitle.
Main Bulk Divs
[[div class="wilson-body"]]
This is what creates that nice minty color that you are reading over right now! Crazy, right? These are used for all the meaty actual ready (read as "read-y") bits. Not much else to say about them, you now know all the divs and what they do! Congratulations!
About Critter Profiles…
Just in case you can't figure out the fancy div things (and truth be told, I wouldn't blame you! I'm pretty bad with computers myself!) here is a very easy copy and paste information for a Critter Profile!
Our CSS Theme
Now, the last thing here would be what you might have also noticed on this page… the Wilson's Wildlife CSS theme! It makes things so minty, aah, so fresh, aah, so pleasant, ooo, and it makes our above divs real easy to use!
If you want to put it in your article, you just gotta copy this handy dandy code right here:
[[include :scp-wiki:theme:wilsons]]
And put it at the tippy top of your article. Bing! Any WWS story instantly made homier, and classier, and themier!
But if you're a fan of the Black Highlighter CSS theme, there's also a version of our theme for you! It has all the same pleasing aesthetics of our first theme, but with a new layout. To use it, copy the following into the beginning of your article!
[[include :scp-wiki:theme:black-highlighter-theme]]
[[include :scp-wiki:theme:wilderness]]
So neat! So nifty! Thank you so so much to our wonderful Mr. S. Breath who made the majority of this theme! And with that, we're all done here. Adios!