WEILSTEDT WALKOUT WAYLAYS WOLFISH WHEAT WIZARDS

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WEILSTEDT WALKOUT WAYLAYS WOLFISH WHEAT WIZARDS

Controversy struck Neo Times Square this Wednesday morning, when Backdoor SoHo's Jewish-Nälkä Weilstedt community took to the streets to demonstrate outside of Ordopharm Agronomics' East Coast offices. Protestors were witnessed plugging the building's entrances with fleshcrafted masses of meat and bone, plastering its windows with slogan-bearing posters made of living human skin. Though this bioengineering giant has never been a stranger to controversy, public outcry reached new highs earlier this week, when allegations arose of Ordopharm employees stealing valuable Nälkä artifacts from archeological sites in Tajikistan and Kazakhstan, smuggling them across international borders to be held in the Ordos Family's private museum.

Ordopharm Agronomics is notable for being the primary provider of abnatural foodstuffs in North America's below-Veil communities. From the hypergrain buns on Greazeburger patties, to the Hesperidian apple slices in Ambrose salads, if you've ever eaten something weird, at least part of it was probably engineered in an Ordopharm laboratory. Much like their crops, Ordopharm has grown quickly and spread far, in blatant disregard of natural, antitrust, or labor laws.

Protest organizer Karcist Horowitz had this to say: "Public corporations cannot be allowed to act this way. Ordopharm, they talk a great deal about supporting local cultures and environments, but then they turn around and they do this. They speak of ending hunger, but haven't done anything to address the growing food deserts in their own free port. Heck, they haven't done anything about the literal desert down Adytum Avenue, either. Huge dunes of sand, blocking the way to my favorite falafel place for nearly a month! It's a disgrace."

When approached by Frontdoor Gazette journalists regarding the stolen Nälkä artifacts, Ordopharm representatives declined to comment.

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