Take me in, oh blue. Let me be your fuel.
⚠️ Content warning: This article contains depictions of drowning and body horror.
You are going to die in two minutes and thirty-seven seconds.
At some point, it was still. The surface of the pool felt almost welcoming, the water wrapping itself around your torso. Slight pressure applied on your lower half as you gave into the steady waves dancing from one end to the other. You stayed where it was shallow, it was a while since you had a dip. It was already rejuvenating in and of itself, the blue bringing you an experience so soothing.
But as you let yourself settle in the liquid comfort, you shot a glance at the other side—the deep end. The floor slanted downward to a point where it was more than twice your height. Temptation was inviting you, the other side was entrancing you. You found yourself dancing around the idea, your feet carrying you across an artificial, a small-scale sea.
The idea whistled in your head, prancing from one ear to the other. Circling your index on the tiled wall, you figured 'why not?' and made the journey forward, forward, forward.
You pushed through the water, its wintry sensation tickling your body as you pass through where you were and where you would be. An ice cube traced the nerves of your insides.
You gripped the edge of the pool as you made your way to the other side. You held on lightly as fluid interlocked its fingers with yours, the cold calming the tension.
You tiptoed down the length of the water's body, feeling everything it gave you. Perusing through a constant calmness keeps you at surface level even as you eventually departed from it.
You are going to die in one minute and forty-six seconds.
There you were, on the other side. 'Are you ready?' you questioned yourself as your legs dangled above the bottom. The pressure was building, and the air was a choking hazard. Would you blame the water's temperature when you're getting cold feet? It was only a matter of time, you were only a matter of time until such temptations were in arm's reach.
Now you lowered your head, adjusting yourself to the aqueous breeze. You knew this chilling embrace wouldn't betray you; it accepted you. Trust was a two-way street, and you had to jump into its arms, give into it. You could feel your heart racing. Your chest rose and fell, and quickened in pace. There was a beauty in letting it take you, and you were about to leave yourself.
Thus, as you slowly laid yourself flat, you felt the sky carried your body on a bed. You let your hands go and kicked yourself toward the pool's deep end. A human parade was marching through pocket-sized tides, taking in the tactile sights of each droplet making up its pleasure. It was as if all the pains and stresses in your body washed away to a place beyond you.
You held your arm out and remained as it took your hand and guided you to the end's center. It was if a path opened before you as you ventured through.
You held your breath, a reminder of what's to come. Frozen to a point of serenity, you teetered on the line between movement and stillness. You pushed through regardless.
You closed your eyes as you arrived at your final destination. You took in the tranquility, the surface creeping in over you like lines of euphoria crossing at points all over you.
You are going to die in fifty seconds.
Something felt different. There was a tickling by your heel, a sensation enrapturing your ankle. A glacier-like touch, droplets fresh from the icicle making marks on your base. It was inviting all the same, maybe more so with how unique it was. Maybe from it being the first in a while, maybe you weren't used to it, but its grasp around your leg, then your knee, then your hips, the water had a hold of you like no other.
There, you could almost outline a hand having a feel of your stomach, then your chest, then your shoulders. It was a predator and you were its prey, it took in every part of yourself as you gave all you had to offer. Could it be an angel forming from your fondness, arriving as a chariot to a body outside of yours. You never had such peace resting within until now.
And so, it bloomed from the surface—a pair of arms wrapping themselves around your midriff. You were there to be taken, you were there to be brought, you were there to depart.
You graced the illusionary skin of your savior's arms, such sharp frigidness meeting every sensor on your fingers. It never felt so refreshing until now.
You felt a force pulling you in. This was the beginning of your ascent downwards. Every part of you followed, from your toes to your head. This was your redemption.
You let go of yourself as you're submerged in the sea, a calming cold surrounding you. All the warmth fled for its purpose was elsewhere. The water welcomed you inside.
You are going to die in twenty-three seconds,
and you were ready, you were complete. An eternity of this emotion was all you could ever ask for, a solitude of solitudes from the threads outside you. Inhale. The water found its home inside you, your body. It hugged the interior of your lungs, filling them up like balloons. When you ignore the reflex gagging and hurling, you could leave behind the worries of the world.
Deeper and deeper, further from the surface, you couldn't experience a joy any purer. The endless stream captured you as a cocoon, pulsating and gifting you the sensation of every tension and release. What luxuries of blue, you were thrown into its peristalsis, as it pushed you below into a fate of your name. You couldn't experience a joy any purer.
Thus, you left in place as a taste of their efforts. Breaking away and breaking apart, the aspects formerly making up the body you hosted washed and taken in for nutrients. From skin to flesh, from flesh to bone, you were always and only a delicacy. Even as your vision grew dark and the light grew bright, you were met with a sense of bliss. With every crack of your appendages separating from one another, it was another moment of reassurance. It was worth it, all of it.
You spent these last moments disposing what thoughts remained, offering them for the ocean to take. It occupied what once was yours, as you fled to utopia.
You felt what little severances at every joint of your name, as you left faint kisses as it danced to a world that was no longer yours. 'What pleasure a swim could provide,' you realized.
You accepted your place as you returned to Neptune. Fading into obscurity, fading into transparency, you took the final step and gave into temptation.
You accepted your place
as the water took you
to the shore.
A single bone breaches the surface.