"Hey, Harrington."
"Morning, Smith. Got the new wanted posters?"
"Yep. I was just gonna go put them up outside."
"Sounds good. By the way, did you see the Foundation is assigning some detectives to help us out?"
"What?"
"Yeah, they're apparently part of a special task force. Something something 'Interpol.'"
"Mmm. Do you happen to know who they are?"
"Yeah, they sent over their IDs. They're right here."
FBI UIU — MEMO
Casefile: Thieves' Domain
FBI UIU Agents: Be advised that the following Foundation Detectives
will be joining you on the Thieves' Domain case:
QUINN ROSCOE
FBI UIU — MEMO
Casefile: Thieves' Domain
FBI UIU Agents: Be advised that the following Foundation Detectives
will be joining you on the Thieves' Domain case:
ZENIGATA HEIJI
FBI UIU — MEMO
Casefile: Thieves' Domain
FBI UIU Agents: Be advised that the following Foundation Detectives
will be joining you on the Thieves' Domain case:
HERCULES POPEAU
FBI UIU — MEMO
Casefile: Thieves' Domain
FBI UIU Agents: Be advised that the following Foundation Detectives
will be joining you on the Thieves' Domain case:
C. AUGUSTE DUPIN
"…Smith? You do realize that three out of four of these are fictional characters, right?"
"What?"
"Yeah. Poirot, Zenigata and Dupin. Fictional. Agatha Christie, Kodō Nomura and Edgar Allan Poe."
"You're fucking with me."
"I think the Foundation is fucking with us."
"Maybe they're code names?"
"In this line of work?"
"What's up with Poirot? Why's his face all fuzzy?"
"Probably some memetic bullshit. Stop looking at… huh."
"What?"
"It doesn't say Poirot. It says Hercules Popeau. Who the hell is that? I've never even heard of him."
"Maybe he's real?"
"None of them are real. They can't be. In fact, I'm sure I've seen this Quinn Roscoe on some webfiction thing."
"How did you get so knowledgeable on literature anyway?"
"We're UIU paperpushers, what do you do with all your downtime?"
"Play games on my phone."
"Whatever. I'll take 'em into the conference room, then."
FBI UIU — MOST WANTED
Anomalous Major Crimes Division
WANTED
FOR MASS LARCENY
Country of Origin: Japan
Sex: Male
Hair: Black
Eyes: Grey
Height: 5'8
Weight/Build: 129lbs, Slim
Identifying Traits: Wears a face mask and kasa.
If you have any information which could lead to the arrest of Ishikawa Goemon, please call your local FBI-UIU office.
$500,000 REWARD
FBI UIU — MOST WANTED
Anomalous Major Crimes Division
WANTED
FOR MASS LARCENY
Country of Origin: American/British
Sex: Female
Hair: Black (With red highlights)
Eyes: Blue
Height: 5'4
Weight/Build: 124lbs, Slim
Identifying Traits: Possesses multiple facial piercings.
If you have any information which could lead to the arrest of Irene Adler, please call your local FBI-UIU office.
$200,000 REWARD
FBI UIU — MOST WANTED
Anomalous Major Crimes Division
WANTED
FOR MASS LARCENY
Country of Origin: British
Sex: Male
Hair: Black
Eyes: Green
Height: 5'10
Weight/Build: 141lbs, Medium
Identifying Traits: Wears a bycocket hat.
If you have any information which could lead to the arrest of Robin Hood, please call your local FBI-UIU office.
$450,000 REWARD
FBI UIU — MOST WANTED
Anomalous Major Crimes Division
WANTED
FOR MASS LARCENY
Country of Origin: France
Sex: Male
Hair: Black (Greying)
Eyes: Brown (Capable of changing)
Height: 5'11
Weight/Build: 160lbs, Medium
Identifying Traits: Dresses well, wears a monocle.
If you have any information which could lead to the arrest of Arsène Lupin, please call your local FBI-UIU office.
$1,000,000 REWARD
"I definitely think the Foundation is fucking with us, Smith."
"Why is that?"
"They sent us wanted posters for Arsène Lupin, Irene Adler, Robin Hood, and a ninja who's been dead for almost five hundred years."
"Oh yeah? I wouldn't be so sure, Harrington. Those sheets we were looking at earlier? The detective ones?"
"What about them?"
"What the—"
"Yeah."
"When did this happen?"
"I dunno. At some point within the last ten minutes. I went into the other room to get coffee and when I came back, everybody was shouting and taking pictures."
"You're telling me the Thieves' Domain was here?!"
"I dunno, Harrington! But just to be on the safe side, maybe go check on the wanted posters. We might need to replace them."
"I fucking hate narrative anomalies."
