The Wandsmen Hub

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~The Multiverse's Finest News Source~
~New to the organization? Check out Orientation!~


MAIN OFFICE: CLATHU MONDAY, OCTOBER 14TH, 2021 $1.99 or 2.50 Secrets
by The Seventh Wandsman of Cambridge - Editor-In-Chief

Last week, representatives from the evacuation fleet from the flesh ravaged world of Kar Selem reported that their council had voted to have their entire population of 5,327 sapients begin the transformation process to become Wandsmen.
Spokesmen from the fleet said they viewed it as the best way to ensure their species is remembered and may survive in some form. The Editors have agreed to preserve gametes from the endangered species so that it may be possible for them to… continued on page 2A.


The Fourth Wandswoman of Chelon has been working as arbiter to Earth for one year as of writing and so far her term has been a tumultuous one. After opening formal relations with one of the planet's major powers (The SCP Foundation), the Arbiter has had to deal with multiple diplomatic incidents.
Many amongst the Editorial staff have been critical of the Fourth Wandswoman of Chelon's policy of open communication and negotiation with a volatile Red Zone power known for multiple sapient rights abuses and the employment of… continued on page 3C.

After a thorough investigation lead by the Second Wandsman of Earth, Cartographer Lot, Gatekeeper of Sodom, Speaker for the Lost and Enemy of the Flesh has been declared missing. Although the prolific Cartographer has been known to stay out of contact for decades at a time while tunneling pathways between dimensions, not only did he not return to the Main Office at his appointed check in time, but investigators were unable to detect his presence in the Hytoth via any thaumaturgical means.
When asked for comment, the Second Wandsman of Earth replied that the search for the missing cartographer would continue, but there were limited leads to follow up on. "As of right now we are asking any and all members of the organization to come forward if they have any information that could direct us to his whereabouts."
Rumors of Lot's decision to pit his thaumaturgy against a greater power remain… continued on page 4B.


The 3rd Allied Division managed a crucial victory this week in Verdun by capturing an Alagaddan command bunker. The Second Sergeant of Rhox reports that the Serpent's Hand had managed to recruit additional forces to the front from an outside power that has requested to remain anonymous for the time being. "The new troops were crucial, as their ability to capture and interrogate Alagaddan forces allowed us to determine the origin of the memetic poetry orders being sent to enemy troops."
After the successful push that cost the Allied forces 236 brave soldiers, not only have Alagaddan supply lines been severed, but crucial information may be recoverable from the bunker once a hazardous thaumaturgic materials team has had a chance to… continued on page 7C.

It is best to think of these as… Guidelines more than rules. You should follow them 99% of the time, but we will need myriad different perspectives in order to find the truth and I don't want to quash yours with hard and fast rules.

That said, if you deviate from the code too much, you're definitely going to end up getting questioned by your colleagues, perhaps even the editors if you've truly drifted too far.

1) Preserve as much knowledge as possible
If you have the opportunity to learn something, take it. And make sure to record it as well.

2) Spread knowledge as much as possible
If you have the opportunity to teach someone else something, take it. Be aware that educating an unwilling mind is an extremely difficult task, so gaining the trust of those around you is quite important here.

I should note, you are not obligated to teach an intensive seminar on how to make nuclear weapons to toddlers. Make the information available, but be prudent. We've had enough fiascos.

3) There is no such thing as "bad" knowledge, merely knowledge we have not found a way to comprehend yet
You will learn many horrible things working for our organization. You will even encounter knowledge that seems to possess its own will and a desire to harm you. Contain these things if you can. We have acquaintances that can help with that.

4) Treat other perspectives with respect, especially when you disagree with them
Note, if the perspective is "I want to have you for lunch" you don't have to immediately let a creature devour you out of respect. Rather, try to understand why the creature wants your flesh. Perhaps you can provide it with an alternative. Perhaps then you can get its story.

5) Destroy knowledge as little as possible
This can be more difficult than it first seems, and honestly it seems quite difficult. Books and minds and concepts can all seek to harm you and everything you love. We know sometimes you will have to destroy them to preserve other knowledge, but try to do this as a last resort.

6) Be careful in Red Zones
A "Red Zone" is a place known to be ruled by a greater entity, such as Alagadda or La Rue Macabre (although the greater being ruling the latter is much more amicable). These places require some clever negotiations to enter at best and can be instantly fatal upon entry at worst. As much as I love my dear Ickis, working the Red Zone beat has made him a fascinating combination of paranoid, over-prepared and insane. Frankly that's the most rational way to be if you want to explore some of the multiverse's more terrible places.

7) Don't think you're alone
Look… I know it sounds flippant, saying that we Wandsmen are family, but we genuinely are a team, and all of us have suffered to become part of it. When you burn out researching a story, ask for help. And help your colleagues whenever you can. Further still, help other thinking beings if you can so long as you're not helping them on a path of destruction. Accept help from them too.

You aren't alone in this.

What's all this about?

The Wandsmen are a GoI focused on reporting on anomalous events and preserving knowledge. They have joined the fight to defend the multiverse from destruction largely because of their desire to preserve knowledge.

The Wandsmen are very flexible to write for. Their morality is generally decent, but it can be very alien (imagine preserving knowledge by turning someone into a brain in a jar. Some Wandsmen would think this was terrible, but many of the more alien Wandsmen just "Wouldn't think this was the best method because it restricts those minds from experiencing new things and gaining more interesting information." It certainly wouldn't be seen as an inherently evil act by the Wandsmen at large).

Currently the organization in general is trying to befriend the Foundation as they see them as potential allies in the fight to avoid all their books getting burned, but there's a lot of tension around this because a lot of Wandsmen also want to write about Earth's stories and distribute their magazines.

In short, there is some inherent diplomatic conflict in the setting.

Another important thing to note is that the members of the Wandsmen are most often survivors or refugees from horrible anomalous tragedies that occurred on their planets of origin, or nightmares that ravaged the alternate realities they once called home. They seek to write about the universe so what happened to them is not forgotten, and hopefully learned from.

If you have any questions about the GoI and writing for it. please reach out to chaucer345chaucer345 for details!

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