Researcher Eisenberg's Personnel File
Researcher - Inorganic Anomalous Materials Section

Name:  Vladim A. Eisenberg к.т.н.

Security Clearance: Level 2 Temporarily revoked.

Education: Specialist Diploma, Charkov Polytechnic, Candidate of Technical Sciences (к.т.н), Kyjev Polytechnic

Specialisation:  Material Science, SCP Research, Containment procedures.

Site of Operations: Site-19. Formerly Site-35.

Profile: Researcher Eisenberg is currently isolated in Section-5 Medical Wing of Site-19 subject to treatment for [REDACTED] (see Document-19-SG31-VAE-1 for assessment records and Document-19-SG31-VAE-2 for prescribed therapy and medication) resulting from SCP-022-J exposure.
During his indisposition, the coordination of any projects under his lead is passed on to the co-ordinator of the Anomalous Structural Materials Research Group. The status of the documentation maintained by Researcher Eisenberg is unclear. Personnel of appropriate clearance willing to re-view and corroborate the content of such files can find them listed below.

History: Born in Mukacevo, Ukrainian SSR. Two siblings - Older David agricultural engineer, currently unemployed, younger Leonid arrested in 199█ for claiming tax returns from fictitious trades. Studied materials science on Charkov Polytechnic.

Joined the Foundation in 1998 as a fresh graduate after being involved in joint research between the Foundation and the Ukrainian government relating to an outbreak of SCP-836. Done his post-gradual studies while working for the Foundation as one of the researchers overseeing production on Site-35.

 After the [REDACTED] attack on Site-35, and resulting containment breach Researcher Eisenberg was one of the ██ survivors, found four days later in a janitor's closet in the administrative building, dehydrated, delirious, and hugging a stuffed lynx claiming it to be "Uncle Fedor from Volgograd".

 He has since made a full recovery, and been assigned to Site-19, where he was responsible for indexing and coordinating research for objects discovered within Central and Eastern Europe, in addition to working as a part of the Anomalous Structural Materials Research Group.

On ██/07/201█, presumably as an administrative oversight, Researcher Eisenberg was assigned to work on documentation pertaining to SCP-022-J, despite his personnel records indicating him to be of short temper and likely suffering from SCP-022-J-2. Approximately half-way through the task, Researcher Eisenberg entered a rage state, which culminated in him assaulting a security guard with a keyboard. (see Incident-022-J-1 for details). As a result, Researcher Eisenberg was submitted for psychiatric examination, and based on its findings, temporarily relieved from duty.

Notable Possessions: Researcher Eisenberg's office contains "Nastasia", an instance of SCP-692-1 - an ambulatory 0.5m x 0.3m sheet of linen cloth enclosing the shape of a house cat. On ██/08/201█, after numerous requests, SCP-692-1 "Nastasia" has been moved to his current dwelling, after being confirmed as safe for handling. Researcher Eisenberg appears to be progressing towards recovery at a significantly faster rate since.

Researcher Eisenberg has catalogised the following SCP:

Researcher Eisenberg has aided in the catalogisation of the following SCP:

  • SCP-074 - Quantum Woodlouse - (Unknown author, most recently updated by Researcher Voct) Complete documentation overhaul.
  • SCP-566 - Word-A-Day - (Originally by Agent "Sensei Le Roof") Complete documentation overhaul.
  • SCP-669 - A Didactic Perspective  - (Originally by Agent Circeus)  Complete documentation overhaul.
  • SCP-694 - Pseudoteraphosa habilis - (Originally by Dr. Lothaire B. Dumount) Complete documentation overhaul after suspected SCP-732 outbreak.
  • SCP-857 - Human-Based Ecosystem (Catered to while working by Tim "Tanhony" Hyne) - Procured photographic evidence.
  • SCP-1308 - Hungarian Floater - (Originally by Agent1 "RandomRedneck") Completized documentation from fragmentary data.
  • SCP-1436 - The Saddest Necrophile - In collaboration with Researcher Voct.
  • SCP-2102 - Got Shoggoth? - Report authored by MTFO Crayne - Recovered journal data related to object; see  Addendum 2102-A-03
  • SCP-1150-J - Supervised transcription of document by Researcher Jevgenij Savcenko (said document was found by Agent "theTBAPb" in a dusty pile of paperwork). Found a picture the two overlooked, also in said pile.  

Other files:

Paperwork in progress.
Participated in Staff Prank War of 2011
Contributed to Agent Drewbear's Technical Words guide.
Maintains the Groups of Interest GRU Division "P" entry.
Maintains the SCP-566 Contents Database


  • Hall of Fame
  • Straight
  • Flush
  • Straight Flush
  • Order of Bright
  • Home Run Derby
  • International Man of Mystery
  • Man of Steel
  • Provocateur
  • David Hasslehoff
  • Olympian
  • Gallery of Legends

Note: Should I end up incontactable, I refuse any form of staff purview or custody over my works. Standard procedure is to be followed - a rewrite or deletion if something drops below deletion threshold - otherwise, asides from minor grammar etc. issues, my writing is to be left alone, and no changes are to be made without explicit approval from me.

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