Dear [Name],
It is my pleasure to welcome you to [Department Name.] You have been chosen from amongst your peers for your [Relevant work experience.] and [Positive personal quality.]
The Department handles a very specific subset of anomalous phenomena affecting [Relevant Information concerning the Department.]
[Additional paragraphs detailing relevant duties covered by the Department.]
Regards,
John Doe
Department of Unreality
Director
[CLICK TO EDIT TEXT]
The building blocks of deconstruction.
(Ordered Chronologically.)
The Afternoon (Department of Unreality Orientation) – by Fishish.
I grab a bagel and head out into Site-19.
Your Imaginary Friend – by Fishish and
Deadly Bread.
Slowly, I try solving a puzzle with no real pieces.
Something Glowing – By Deadly Bread.
all ancillary functions will be moved to preventing subjective reality loss during this process.
The Castaway From Unreality – by Fishish.
In the time I've been at Site-19, I've done maybe one or two things that could be considered actual work.
It's Not Real, It Never Was, You Pathetic Fools – by Fishish.
Material Requirements: Nothing. (Already in my possession)
SCP-6208 - Amnesia Was Her Name – by Elunerazim and
Fishish.
Foundation staff are to be made aware of the existence of the SCP Foundation Department of Unreality.
SCP-6938 – Alex Thorley Gets A Gift Horse – by Uncle Nicolini and
Fishish.
"Any objections?"
Haunt Me, Haunt Me, Haunt Me – by Fishish.
The morning sun hates you, and everything hurts.
Disintegration – by Fishish.
[02.39 AM] — Alex Thorley: I'm scared of blood.
SCP-001-NULL - Fishish’s Proposal – by Fishish.
We'll meet again. Same as it ever was.
Site-19 Cafeteria
O.R. #: 000000 Guest: 7
Cashier: N/A 18:24:30 PM
13/02/2021
1 Plain Bagel 1.75
1 D Water bottle 0.99
Subtotal 2.74
12% VAT 0.32
Amount Due: 3.06
Running on Empty
Standalone tales featuring the Department of Unreality (singular).
Alex Thorley Eats A Burger – by syuzhet.
The smell of cooked meat, the taste of it on your tongue, the soft fat oozing from between the edges of your teeth.
It's a nice thing to be able to eat real food for once.
Alex Thorley Hungers For a Bagel – by JakdragonX.
Oh, speaking of feeling things: I'm still hungry.
alex thorley dreams of sushi. – by LORDXVNV.
You would expect an ocean this big to have actual waves, but it's just ripples. They're just there. They'll never crash onto the shore. There won't ever be a climax.
The Blank Page – by Prime Girl.
You stare at the empty page, scared.
Alex Thorley's Christmas Special – by FLOORBOARDS.
After [Period of time of employment.] we are [Sad/relived/excited.] to see you go. Your transfer from [Insert former Department here.] to [Insert current Department here.] has been approved. We are thankful you have continued to dutifully serve the Foundation in our mission.
Alex Thorley Goes on a Blind Date – by IronShears.
You are Alex Thorley. You have been waiting for 30 minutes.
Give me Back to the Sky – by Fishish.
You have never felt better, which makes you nauseous.
Alex Thorley Writes A Poem – by IndustryStandard.
You don't need to know your hands // if you do no work.
ILLCOVETYOUIFYOUCOVERME – by FLOORBOARDS.
Kindness: But the defense of love remains where it was: Standing on the bastion of the night, overlooking the red dawn where one day the sky will be painted with yellow stars as well.
[Donald John Trump exits from behind the podium. He smiles widely and repeatedly bows. He waves both his hands. He looks back and forth.]
[ACCESS DENIED]
Standalone SCPs involving the Department of Unreality (plural).
SCP-5863 – Myths Made Plain – by SynthPanda_.
The nature of SCP-5863 is currently unknown to the Foundation. The following proposed explanations are currently under investigation.
SCP-983 – The Party is Today – by FLOORBOARDS.
I can't keep pretending these aren't presents from myself.
SCP-6478 – Not Dementia - It's Something Else – by Quicksilvers.
The results and side effects of ingesting SCP-6478-1 are inconclusive.
SCP-6558 – Word Disassociation – by Tstaffor.
Special Containment Procedures: Containment.
SCP-7591 – Alex Thorley Kills A Guy – by PlaguePJP.
Lague: Have you ever had violent thoughts?
SCP-7356 – Noncanonical Materials – by FLOORBOARDS.
Those in the presence of SCP-7356 have not reported adverse effects. However, assigned ritualists — even those who had been amnesticized — have reported experiencing dreams depicting an unknown species of bird, possibly a crow or raven, gliding down a hallway.
SCP-6352 – Mother Died Today – by fabuIa.
You are not a member of the Department of Unreality. This does not concern you.
SCP-7488 – anything for your eyes – by winkwonkboi.
They all died, screaming. SCP-7488 wields a gun. The bullets are painted in kaleidoscopic hues.
[MEMORY UNALLOCATED]
Portraits of what lies between.
What is this?
Nice try Officer.
The Department of Unreality is a Foundation department1 that handles a set of anomalous phenomena. You really have to not see it to believe it.
[CLICK TO EDIT TEXT] encompasses the original articles written by team The Wiggles Hate Each Other in Real Life for DEPARTMENTCON 2022, as well as a continuation by Fishish.
Although the department is open to interpretation, only articles internally consistent with those articles already on the hub are eligible to be added to it. Please contact Fishish through either Wikidot PMs or Discord if you have any questions.
Writing Guide
It has to be good.
One of the rules, as a freebie: Alex Thorley is the only existing employee for the department.
