Agent Calendar's Undervegas Hub

A ROUNDERHOUSE Joint

 

Coming Soon - Rounderhouse

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▸ More by this Author ◂

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F.A.Q.

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Jump to: SCPs | Tales | Lore

DIR. HOUSE'S OFFICE — SITE-666

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R. HOUSE: The fuck do you mean we 'don't have a hub'? What the hell is a 'hub'?

K. ELSTROM: When can I speak to the Site Director?

R. HOUSE: You're porkin' at him, lady.

K. ELSTROM: Then I'm not sure how you managed to miss so many basic elements of keeping your facility in-time with the rest of the Foundation's record system. Every site or area, upon receiving Class-C or higher classification, requires an administrative hub in SCiPnet to unite all outlying documents, files, and loose data associated with the site.

R. HOUSE: Okay. And 666 doesn't have one?

K. ELSTROM: My, I can see why you were put in charge here.

R. HOUSE: Well, can you make one for us?

K. ELSTROM: I was asked here to lend my expertise in administration of Foundation facilities and oversight of personnel. I am no one's record-jockey, Director House.

R. HOUSE: Fine, okay. Well, is it hard? To make one of these, I mean.

K. ELSTROM: A trained monkey could do it.

R. HOUSE: Hey, Calendar?

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K. ELSTROM: Why do you have a gigantic parody of the Las Vegas sign? Where did this even come from?

R. HOUSE: Some people just don't understand style.

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UNDERVEGAS

Boss said to put a 'cool picture of the site' here

Undervegas is a city that exists in the Fourth Circle of Hell (as described in Dante Alighieri's Inferno), populated primarily by demons¹. Undervegas exists as a reflection of and intersecting with the mundane City of Las Vegas; the connection between these two cities is the source of substantial stress for the Foundation.

HISTORY: The entertainment industry of Las Vegas itself was founded by Avarice-class demons escaping oppressive taxation in Undervegas by the Prince of Darkness. Over the decades, the city ballooned outward, attracting and building its economy around 'sinful' activity (gambling, drinking, casual sex, Mormonism, etc.) — all of which passively generates Tartarean Resonance Energy, a poorly-understood form of thaumic energy of immense significance to demons. TRE is immensely attractive to demons, causing them to flock to high-density zones of sin, partake in the activities, and generate further TRE, creating a positive feedback loop. This occurred in Las Vegas until 1991, when the overwhelming density of TRE caused the entire city to collapse through the theotopological barrier and into Undervegas, merging the two cities into one again.

Only the quick-thinking and derring-do of Senior Researcher Randall House prevented total catastrophe; when Site-666 was constructed on the Vegas Strip to both provide a research and containment facility for Undervegas and anchor the region to baseline reality, he was inaugurated as Site Director, as he so richly deserved.

A. CALENDAR: He made me add that.

K. ELSTROM: I had a feeling.

The relationship between Las Vegas and Undervegas was only fully clarified in 2001, when Foundation researchers inadvertently collapsed Site-666 into hell, again, somehow, and discovered that Undervegas was a defined geographic area on the other side, a demotropolis at that with a substantial population and entertainment industry of its own. Despite substantial risk to normalcy, Director House once again managed to bring the facility back to baseline reality.

A. CALENDAR: He also—

K. ELSTROM: Yeah, I get it.

Since then, the relationship between the two cities has been under intense study. Current leading theories suggest that Undervegas and Las Vegas are naturally drawn to one another, and their unification into one city is inevitable. Refutations of these theories include Director House telling them to shut up.

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FILES RE: UNDERVEGAS

K. ELSTROM: You realize this is the only part that was necessary, yes?

R. HOUSE: The rest is like leather seats in a car. You don't need them, but they make the experience nicer.

SCPs

SCP-4661

Sin City

dealt by ROUNDERHOUSE

There's really only one rule in Undervegas: the House always wins.

+634 / 🗨️ 79

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SCP-7666

The House Loses

dealt by ROUNDERHOUSE

Always cheat. Always have an ace up your sleeve. And never, ever show them all your cards.

+339 / 🗨️ 81

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SCP-5690

Professional Demonatrix

dealt by ROUNDERHOUSE

Yep, it's a brothel.

+352 / 🗨️ 50

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SCP-4967

Thaumielvis

dealt by Uncle Nicolini

I can handle myself around succubi.

+300 / 🗨️ 31

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SCP-7593

House's Inferno

dealt by PlaguePJP

You know, if you guys were women I’d be having a much different reaction to this.

+210 / 🗨️ 33

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SCP-5383

Suffer Overflow

dealt by ROUNDERHOUSE

I have to admit that killing the orphans is way easier when they can't see you coming.

+316 / 🗨️ 55

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SCP-7773

The Usual Demons

dealt by DodoDevil

We have enough demons running around Vegas without getting dollar-store 'angels' in the mix.

+95 / 🗨️ 7

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SCP-8888

Eight Ball

dealt by Placeholder McD, Billith, Doctor Cimmerian & HarryBlank

It is, against and employing all possible odds, Undervegas Casino Night at the Wanderers' Library.

+334 / 🗨️ 73

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SCP-8004

The Life and Death of Vincent Bohart

dealt by DodoDevil

People expect the House to win, this is Vegas after all, but what they're gambling on really is that they'll lose the least.

+193 / 🗨️ 36

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SCP-7821

Luck of the House

dealt by Cicada3301

I’m never wrong. You’ll get what you deserve, same fate for us all.

+71 / 🗨️ 18

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SCP-8131

You Have Treated Me With Contempt

dealt by AriadnesThread

DIR. HOUSE: Huh. Divine fraud. Almost respect it.

+94 / 🗨️ 18

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REPORTS

PRI(DEMON)TH (+136)

One More Tomorrow (+73)

The Lines Are Down (+57)

Hell Hath No Fury Like a Woman Scorned (+33)

Director House Is A Cracker (And Other Lies You Can Tell Yourself) (+269)

Agent Calendar's Hot Date 2: Boogie Nights (+52)

A Match Made in LITERAL HELL (+19)

Agent Calendar's Hot Date: Divine Intervention (+96)

Spellbound and Hellbound (+17)

Haunt Me, Haunt Me, Haunt Me (+121)

The Character Assassination Of Site-666 By The Cowards MTF Theta-90 (+50)

Virtue (+46)

Partner's Mission (+41)

Many Last Words (+118)

The Signing Of The Las Vegas Accords (+94)

Partner's Meeting (+35)

What Happens in Undervegas - Part 2: Crane Fly (+10)

What Happens in Undervegas - Part 1: Eightball (+22)

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LIVING IN UNDERVEGAS

Twin Cities

LAS VEGAS

You know it. It's big, it's ugly, it's in the middle of the goddamn desert. Las Vegas is a monument to disgusting commercialism, human arrogance, the excess of capitalism, and the universal drive to be a total sucker and let someone take all your money. But Vegas isn't just the big casinos on the Strip — Vegas is everywhere. Vegas is in a wedding chapel officiated by an Elvis impersonator. Vegas is in the guy dressed like an extremely copyrighted character who forces you into taking a photo then demands a fiver. Vegas is the experience — of going out, blowing your money on blackjack, getting wasted in a bar, stumbling home but collapsing in an alley. And if you do all that in the right conditions on the right day, when the barriers between the cities aren't so firm, you might find yourself in…

UNDERVEGAS

Undervegas is the entertainment capital of Hell, but it's not a 1:1 copy of the upstairs neighbor. Look up and you don't see a light-polluted sky, but the stone roof of a gargantuan cavern. In many ways, it's the opposite: whereas Vegas is constantly tearing down old casinos to make room for the new, Undervegas is home to the ghostly remains of all the legendary Vegas casinos that met their untimely fate, from the Sands to the Magic Carpet. Where Vegas' party starts at night, the party in Undervegas never ends — the city is one big festival, always partying on the streets, demons always finding something (or someone) to do. Undervegas is divided up into seven 'Estates', each primarily populated by one kind of demon and ruled by a Pit Boss, so the party can be very different depending on where you are in town. Whereas Vegas is an unwalkable nightmare you need a car to get around — actually, maybe they're not totally different.

Demonics

Per the Thorner System, Tartarean-class entities (demons) are grouped into seven distinct subtypes, each one correlating to a different deadly sin. Even within these subtypes, demon appearance and behavior can vary drastically.

Class	Details
Arbor-class	Lust — more commonly known as succubi or incubi, depending on which position they take. Suave, seductive, clingy.
Avarice-class	Greed — inconsistent appearance, consistent behaviors of constantly trying to increase their wealth. Rapacious, slippery, untrustworthy.
Nimis-class	Gluttony — generally huge forms from consuming everything they can. Lazy, large, excessive.
Acedia-class	Sloth — Inadequately studied.
Ira-class	Wrath — confident, choleric, passionate, equate violence with both positive and negative emotions; always looking for a fight. Strong, stronger, strongest.
Vainglory-class	Envy — Inadequately studied.
Ego-class	Pride — extremely self-assured, powerful figures seeking to dominate others with their will. Confident, dominant, scheming.

Site-666 & Co.

SITE-666

Publicly, Site-666 is the Luxor Las Vegas Hotel and Casino. The famous spotlights at the top are actually a complex piece of paratechnology that grounds the site and it's surroundings to baseline reality so they don't fall into Hell (again). Many of the hotel's suites are actually containment cells for high-value targets that the Foundation needs to keep happy; one of the upper rooms, blocked off from the rest of the Site, is the Director's Office. But the mass of the facility is underground, with 10 sublayers of dormitories, research labs, firing ranges, armories, containment cells, interrogation rooms, and everything else you can imagine. That's a lot of personnel. Here are the notable ones.

R. HOUSE: Hey, I'm gonna go take a leak — Calendar, can you handle the personnel bios?

A. CALENDAR: I think so.

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Director Randall House

NAME: Randall House III

POSITION: Site Director

BIO: Extremely well-dressed toothpick. Deceptively loud for how small and thin his lungs must be. Skin is the color of chocolate; liable to fly into a rage if someone forgets this. Knows a lot about demons; even more about people. Likes ordering people around and scheming. Big kahuna.

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Security Chief Alice Sterling

NAME: Alice Sterling

POSITION: Security Chief

BIO: Lady with red hair, carries a gun, in charge of all the other people carrying guns. Tired all the time; avoids doing her job whenever she can but takes it seriously when she has to. Friendly; helped me rearrange my dormitory and plays cards with me. Very competent and nice — backbone of the site. Let me pet her dog once — like a smaller, stupider hellhound. Into 'cosplay' — refused to explain who 'cosplay' was.

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Chief Demonologist Contess Thorner

NAME: Contessa Thorner

POSITION: Chief Demonologist

BIO: Small, mousey woman. Do not be deceived by prey-like appearance: she is an owl stalking the other personnel of the site. Everyone (except me) is kind of afraid of her. Does not eat human food. Has never been seen sleeping. Has a small cult of 'grad students' worshipping her as the eschaton. Once saw her trying to steal my hair for 'experiments'. Concerning, but knows more about demons than me.

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Agent Clark Adams

NAME: Clark Adams

POSITION: Agent

BIO: Dependable, friendly, not the sharpest set of brass knuckles around. General stupidity offset but his uncanny, frighteningly encyclopedic knowledge of Las Vegas history. Blames his grandmother for this.

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Me :)

NAME: Agent Calendar (me)

POSITION: Director's Adjutant

BIO: Wrath demoness. Bigger than you. Stronger than you. Was going around Undervegas beating up people before I got here; House promised bigger things to beat up once they inevitably tried to kill him. Has consistently delivered so far; good gig.

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All headshots done by the fantastic TEETH2MEAT!

Authorities

LAS VEGAS

The Foundation

The biggest, baddest authority in town is the Foundation — technically, Foundation Southwest United States Regional Command. From Site-666 on the Strip, hidden in plain sight as the Luxor Las Vegas, the Foundation keeps a relatively tight rein on demonic activity throughout the city. But even from a veritable fortress, the Foundation is surrounded. It's just not practical to go in throwing around SRAs and slamming demons into containment cells, because there will always be more and really people would just notice even more if Vegas stopped being sinful one day. So instead, the Foundation practices 'creative containment' — use your noggin. Cut deals with demons to keep them in line. Think about what they want, and use it to your advantage. Hell, hire some of the dumb bastards.

R. HOUSE: Not you, Calendar. You're special.

Sometimes, you catch more flies with honey.

FBI Unusual Investigations Unit

Technically, the establishment clause of the Constitution prevents the federal government from even recognizing Undervegas, let alone operating within it. However, this is the federal government we're talking about; they don't let petty things like "laws" get in the way of a good time. The UIU doesn't have the manpower to meaningfully police Undervegas, and so despite a deep-seated rivalry that extends into outright animosity, they have formed a temporary truce with the Foundation for mutual benefit. Demon organized crime runs straight through the Nexuses, shipping contraband right into Three Portlands; the UIU often send detachments into the city and work with the Foundation to nab the bad guys.

The Nevada Gaming Commission

The NGC is nothing more than a cover for the owners of the biggest casinos — demons, wouldn't you know it — to 'regulate' themselves. They oppose the Foundation's efforts at every possible turn, trying to maximize profits for themselves. However, they are Greed demons, and would sell each other up the river for half a poker chip at the drop of a hat. If they ever worked together, the Foundation might be in trouble. Thankfully, that doesn't seem likely.

UNDERVEGAS

Pit Bosses

As mentioned, Undervegas is broken up into seven inequally-sized 'Estates' for each of the deadly sins— Moneypit (Greed) The Feast (Gluttony), Ivory Towers (Pride), Iwannit (Envy), The Beat (Wrath), Acedia (Sloth), and Succubustown (take a guess). Demons come from all over Hell, end up staying and forming their own little place. The Estates are very different, but united in that the most powerful demon of each class ends up taking control of that estate as the Pit Boss. Moneypit's Pit Boss is Ba'al, The Feast's is Belial, Ivory Towers' is Asmodeus, and Succubustown is ruled by the ever-graceful Gamory. The remaining Pit Bosses are, as of yet, unidentified.

Satan

Prince of darkness, Lucifer, et cetera. He's an asshole. Current intel suggests he's still frozen in an ice cube at the bottom of Hell, but he can still cast out his spirit to possess others and cause problems on his behalf — usually for no clear reason except that he thinks it's funny. Asshole.

CLASSIFIED

So you wanna write for Undervegas?

Chiefly, Undervegas is a setting rather than a defined series or canon, so really as long as you get the general premise right (Las Vegas Is Demons), you should be good to include in whatever you're doing.

But if you wanna write something more focused on Undervegas, there's a few things to keep in mind. Upfront, not the easiest thing to write for, for one simple reason: you gotta be funny. Undervegas articles tend to be comedic, which is a hard thing to master and intensely subjective at the best of times. But here's a few pointer and guidelines.

Dialogue. Dialogue, dialogue, dialogue. This is where the funny comes from, this is where the character comes from, this is where the setting comes from! Undervegas is at its best when you're doing funny dialogue comedy, rapid back-and-forths between characters, witticisms and insults and everything else. An Undervegas article without dialogue is like a burger without a patty.

Don't worry too much about 'canon' or lore or whatever. Really, the only hard rule I have is that Undervegas stuff tends to be set in the 90s to 00s; beyond that, go wild. Never let lore get in the way of a good joke.

Everyone sucks. Don't be afraid to make your characters just absolutely terrible, insufferable people. They're comedy archetypes — lean into it, make it so that it's funny when bad things happen to them, even if we're rooting for them.

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A. CALENDAR: Boom.

R. HOUSE: See? Told you she'd knock it out of the park.

K. ELSTROM: It's a lot.

R. HOUSE: It fulfills the requirements, doesn't it?

K. ELSTROM: For the most generous possible definition of 'fulfill'.

R. HOUSE: Don't be mean, she's still learning how human technology works. Yesterday I caught her trying to make a blood sacrifice to the Nespresso. Poor girl didn't know that the blood comes included now.

K. ELSTROM: Whatever you say. This is sufficient, but the rest of your records are in such tatters that I'm still going to be here for another week before flying back. I should get to work.

R. HOUSE: I'm sure the overtime will help it go down smoother. I have another meeting anyhow.

K. ELSTROM: Quite—

[The door slams opens.]

R. HOUSE: Agent Law, always a pleasure.

Q. LAW: My ass, you son of—

[Silence.]

R. HOUSE: Uh. You guys okay? Why am I getting weird vibes all of a sudden?

[Silence.]

R. HOUSE: Seriously, do you two know each other or something?

[ELSTROM purses her lips. LAW's face is impassive, but her fingers flex.]

K. ELSTROM: No. Never met.

Q. LAW. Nope.

K. ELSTROM: I'll be leaving now. I don't think I'll have to stay here the full week after all, Director House. Have a serviceable day.

[She turns on her heel and leaves; Agent LAW watches her go.]

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Footnotes

1. Formally referred to as Tartarean entities. — Thorner