We are toxic together,
People say
A broken relationship
Where nothing good can bloom.
I think I am safe
(I am water)
But I am becoming a poisonous well
With his additions.
We skin up together
Shot up
Snort up
Come down.
He comes home with flowers
Not flowers for me
I am not his girl
(He promised)
But flowers for him.
Petals that become drugs
Paper-thin
Dissolving on the tongue
Slipping into the state that is Him.
I know he is not safe
(He is chlorine)
But the heart
She wants what she wants.
We are transformative
I am trans(forming) in front of him
A moth from a cocoon
Wings spread, vulnerable
Waiting to be splattered or spared.
One night, dark,
After a funeral
We wanted to feel alive
In bed, laying side-by-side.
I am clothed
He is not
(He is never)
My top becomes gently unbuttoned.
I smell Bloom on his breath
Through his pores
Infecting me too
(It strikes me we're not table salt]).
And he puts his hand up there
Finds nothing but budding mountains and air
Silently withdraws
Rolls over on his side.
And I realise now
He wanted the me from another time.
But still
I am his Dawn.
And he Blooms for me.
Aching, I curl my fingers into the blanket
And cry for us.