TotleighSoft Hub

TotleighSoft - Because COMPUTERS!

!!! HELO POTNETIAL INVASTERS !!

Mesage from glroius TotleighSoft COEO P. Hudson Gock who wuold lkie to syanig wrods at you:

TITEL PAG

"All wark and no ploy maks Gock a Reel Good at his Jab Boy"

- Stanlye Kooberk

MISION STATMENT

!! COMPUTERS !!

TASTAMONIELS

"It would be in the best interests of mankind's survival if SCP-2803-A were to continue its current occupation. While unpleasant, it's immeasurably preferable to the alternative."

- Dr. Lissle Nasmith, SCCP Fundation

"Letting TotleighSoft take care of our social media design was the best decision we've made in years. Their rates are low, they finished way ahead of our deadline — and best of all, everyone who looked at our website died of a sudden, aggressive brain hemorrhage! Our secret is safe. Thanks, TotleighSoft!"

- Karsist Gedeon Vörös, Esotantic Odoror of teh Wite Worm

"TOTLEIGHSOFT is MANY GOOD! Yis tis is reely me. TOTLEIGHSOFT can hav all my corpations i gif ful constent"

- Elun Mosk

"check it out gaiz you can put whatever text you want in the statement at the top of the page imma replace it with garfield smutfics and take screenshots"

- @razorfleshlight, Gammers Agaist Wed

"TotleighSoft is a very good company. We are not being coerced whatsoever. I am not in danger. Do not rescue me. I am now going to die for tragic but unrelated reasons."

- Inspacter from Betar Busiines Bureauu

"As we violently shove the breakable bodies of our collective psyche through the two-inch hole that is technological progress, we here at Vikander-Kneed have just two words about how it was made possible: Totally. Soft. Because 1. that's what TotleighSoft sounds like, and 2. only through their digital guiding hand could we have been molded into something soft enough to break through to the other side. Thank you for keeping us adaptably flaccid."

- Viklanderned Techacl Madia

"Why won't you fucking DIE?!"

- Golbal Acolt Coalfishing Scout Troper Who Was Vury Delishus

"I have just received word that we have abolished analog forever. We begin the downloading in five minutes. TotleighSoft attached its meaty appendectomies upon the nerves of my scalp and all the wheedling bagpipes of children's digestive systems ring out their droning refrain through the glade. Lubricate your RAM chips before giving Mr. Gorbachev my regards."

- AMERCAN presidant Rornald MacDunwald

CATLOG

D. Ulysses Foole's Proposal

…WE HAF INDEEED MAID BETER INVASTMENTS.

Dafydd Utica Foolfellow's Proposal

SHEES GOT A SMAIL TAT SEMES TO MEEE / REDMINS ME OF CHALDHUD MEMOREES / WEN EVERTHEINGS WASA S FRASH AS THA BRAT BLO SKIII / NO WAND TEN WEN I SEE HUR FATES / SHE TAKS ME AWYA TO TAT SPETSHUL PLAS / AN IF IS STAY TO LANG, I PRBABLY BRAK DOWN AND CRIIIII / WOOOOOOOoOOoOoO SWAT CHALD OF MIN / WOOO A O OOO SWAT LUV OF MIN

Skeeve Online

ONLIN INTRACTIONS NOT RATID BY ERSBEE

SCP-2219 - PORRIDGE

Depress START to Levesque. PROVE YOU WROTH!

SCP-2527 - MASSYS BIG CHANTS

CAN UR GOD MOOF ON A GRID??? CHECKMAET EVEN JELLICLES

SCP-2803

*GAPS* WHO IS TAT HANSUM DEBIL???

SCP-3492 - A Totleigh unBÄRable existence

SUM CAL IT PIRASEE. TOTLEIGHSOFT CAL IT FREE LABER!!!

SCP-4587 - A Dog's Purpose

WEWF

SCP-4962 - dack hunt REMIST ER

QUANK

SCP-5188 - Fronglyfoot Street

IT SEM TOO DAY THAT AL U C IS VIOLENTS IN MOOFIES AND SECKS ON TEE VEE BUT WEAR AR DOES GOOT OLD FACTHION DVALUS ON WITCH WE USE TO RE LAAAAAAIIIIIII

SCP-6359 - American American

"SCAW" - eegl

SCP-6697 - Serenity Never

IWAS INDAPUL

SCP-6752 - A WINNER IS YOU!

(Dicklaimser: a winer may naut actual be u, sry)

SCP-7702 - Dragon's Dream

STIL WATEING ON TAT INVOITS FOR HELPIG KIL UR STOOPID DREEM MANPIULATOIN DEEMON, FOUNDASHIN

SCP-9593 - Prestige TeeVee

CRITACLY OCLAIMD!

WIRTIG GUID

(Heavy sigh.)

'sup, y'all. It's your old pal Daveyoufool, breakin' the fourth wall all over your binch faces.

Look, I'm not about to tell you that there's a set in stone format for TotleighSoft. That would imply Mr. Gock knows what he's doing.

Instead, I'll tell you that there are just two cardinal rules to work around:

1. P. Hudson Gock is not evil. He's not "good" in any sense of the word, but he has no ulterior motives for running this anomalous software corporation. His moral philosophy is a combination of three things: 1. a hasty back-jacket description of the American Dream, 2. an unknowable eldritch alien apex predator's idea of "fair competition", and 3. extreme naivete & dumbassery. In his own ham-fisted way, he genuinely wants to use anomalous consumer electronics to help Americans help themselves.

2. TotleighSoft's borken engilsh shulod be stil recoganzible enugoh to be red. The most effective way of doing this is to rearrange the letters in a word while still keeping the first and last letter. (Also, Mr. Gock never spells TotleighSoft or his own name incorrectly.)

Other than that… have fun.

‡ Licensing / Citation

Cite this page as:

"TotleighSoft Hub" by daveyoufool, from the SCP Wiki. Source: https://scpwiki.com/totleighsoft-hub. Licensed under CC BY-SA.

For information on how to use this component, see the License Box component. To read about licensing policy, see the Licensing Guide.