The Heartwarming Tale of Thur'lex the Devourer

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Hatred. Thur'lex the Devourer knew naught but hatred. Hatred for the fleshy creatures that had taken over its planet.

Four thousand years it had slumbered, locked away in a prison of void, but today it would have its revenge. Today it would feel retribution. Today, it would be free. As it dealt the final blow to the arcane locks that had been its jailors, it thought of the carnage it would wreak on the world. The filthy humans thought they could keep it at bay, but the clock would strike its final chime. Today, their reckoning was at hand.

The locks fell away and the void birthed forth a horror unlike any other, the great beast of the shadows. Thur'lex the Devourer was free at last, and the humans would come to know the meaning of pain. It clawed its way up through the sands, breaching into a massive desert, calling out with its mighty voice and shattering the minds of any within earshot.

But it was alone. Not really a surprise considering it was in the desert. No matter, Thur'lex the Devourer would not be dissuaded in its hour of triumph. Leathery wings sprouted from the monstrosity's back, and it took flight to search for those who had wronged it. It flew across the desert, passing over an endless wave of dunes looking for the enemy it had dreamed of slaying for four thousand years.

And there it was. In the endless sea of sand a lone figure wandered, wrapped head to toe in rags. Thur'lex the Devourer swooped down letting out a triumphant screech, no doubt sending its prey into a maddened panic.

The beast touched down in the sand, sending a shower of grains into the figures bandaged face. The figure wiped the sand off it's black goggles, letting out an indignant grunt. The beast stared into the bandaged vagrant's soul, bringing crippling darkness around them. Even in the hot sun of the desert the vagrant shivered, as the sky darkened as if it had never been day.

For the first time in four thousand years, Thur'lex the Devourer spoke. Its voice rolled across the dunes, seemingly emanating from everywhere at once except the beast's gaping maw.

"Look upon me in fear human. Look upon me and know that the end of your line has come at last. Look upon me, and die."

"Sorry, I think you got the wrong guy."

The insolent whelp dared mock it? The beast was not to be taken lightly, it had been planning this grand revenge for as long as it could remember. No mortal could dare stand against it!

"You looking for humans? I hear they found one in Haphway."

The beast paused for a moment, considering what it had just been told. When it responded, its voice came from its own mouth.

"You're saying you're not a human?"

"What? Of course not, I'm a vampire. Why do you think I've got all the sun protection?"

"And what about the humans?"

"Eh, they're mostly dead. Some came back to life but not very many."

"What happened to them?"

"Beats me. You want directions to the closest town or something?"

"No, I- I just need to think about this for a minute."

The beast stood quietly, contemplating what it now knew. The carnage it had fanaticized about for ages was gone. It had come so close, but now its one ambition was over.

As Thur'lex the Devourer stood lost in thought, Bernie the vampire stepped to the side and continued on his path through the sands.

About an hour later, the bandaged man was still stumbling through the desert, albeit far more tired. He reached into his pack and withdrew a can of blood, putting a straw through a slit in the bandages. It tasted awful, but at least it kept him going. Existing on blood alone wasn't exactly how he'd imagined his life would pan out, but at least he still had a life. He checked his watch. Still another hour before he reached the city. He sighed and carried on through the sands.

A shadow passed over him. He looked up, his dark goggles protecting his sensitive eyes from the harsh sun. Was it a bird? No, too big for that. The thing circled above him for a while, before the large green monstrosity landed in front of him again.

"I have more questions, mortal."

"Of course you do. But can we keep walking? I want to get to the city before nightfall."

The vampire kept walking, while the beast followed in a manor almost comparable to walking.

"What kind of creatures exist on this world now that the infernal humans are gone?"

"Lots of stuff. Zombies, shapeshifters, aliens. Basically anything that's not fully human."

"And these inhuman creatures, they're still composed of weak flesh?"

"Mostly yeah. Some are made of metal."

"And when their heads implode in a flurry of arcane sigils, do they still scream?"

"Uhh… no."

Bernie wasn't sure about that actually, but he thought it best not to say that out loud.

"Most unfortunate. Do their tormented souls still burn like the brightest stars when they're cast into the pits of hell?"

"I don't think so."

"Then what can the non-humans do?"

He wasn't sure how to answer that. There were a lot of things they did, but what could he say to make this creature leave him be?

"You like blood?"

"The blood of my enemies will be spilt across the globe until the streets run red in death and darkness."

"Great, here's a can, knock yourself out."

The beast took the can and examined it for a moment. Then it crushed the can until nothing remained but blood dripping from what the vampire could only assume were its claws.

"It's been so long since I felt the trickle of blood running down my hands. Where did you find these cans?"

"I bought them. There's a hemophage surplus store in the city I'm going to if you want to buy some."

Without a word, the beast grabbed Bernie and spread its wings, shooting off into the sky towards the city. The vampire screamed as he did his best to hold his bandages over his face, wishing he had never met this monster. Soon the city was in sight and they stopped, landing on the roof of an old sky scraper. The beast looked around the roof, examining the new surroundings.

"Houses have gotten a lot… bigger since I was here. What happened to the mud huts with thatched roofs?"

The vampire didn't respond, as he was busy trying to stop the world from spinning. He stumbled towards the door and tried the handle to no avail.

"Looks like we're locked up here. You mind gently flying us down?"

"Locks. Humans love their locks. I've been trapped before, but never again! Thur'lex the Devourer will not be restrained!"

As the beast spoke, the door began to glow, gradually getting brighter until it melted right off the hinges. The vampire took a step back to avoid the molten metal, but the beast stepped right in it as it descended into the tower. With nowhere else to go, Bernie followed it down. After a length of stairs they soon arrived at the door. The building was devoid of life, not surprising considering the state of the city. Few people were out on the streets, but those that were made sure to walk the opposite side from the monster. Bernie would have joined them, but he didn't think the beast would take kindly to an escape attempt. Luckily, it seemed too distracted by the size of the city to bother with the people anyway.

"I see a sign that burns with the light of a star, it tells me they sell vampire goods. Is that the place you spoke of that gives out the blood?"

"Yeah but they don't give it away. Do you have any money, or something to trade for it?"

"I will graciously allow the mortals to retain their pitiful lives!"

The vampire was about to respond, but quickly thought better of it. Soon the beast reached the store, and the glass doors slid away automatically.

"Finally, something respects my power."

It walked inside and turned to the young vampire working the cash. The lights flickered and the store began to shake in its foundation as the beast spoke.

"Tremble before me mortal, as you will all soon know the true meaning of pain. Fear the growing darkness, for I will soon taste the blood of the impure again."

"Blood's in aisle three, back row."

The beast nodded and turned to the area in question. Bright red cans covered the shelves, with more blood types than it knew existed. Its eyes lit up like a child on Christmas morning being burned on the pyre as it took in the sight. It inhaled though what may have been a nose, savoring the smell of the blood. Bernie walked over and grabbed a few cans, bringing them back to the cash along with a bag of shiny rocks. He handed over the rocks and began packing the cans into his backpack.

Thur'lex the Devourer contemplated the transaction it witnessed, before it approached the vampire with a question.

"This world has undergone some changes in the past four thousand years. How knowledgeable are you in this field?"

"A little bit? I took a history class in high school, but that was-"

"Excellent. Small vampire, you are now the eternal servant of Thur'lex the Devourer, great beast of the shadows. Revel in your glorious purpose, as you aid my quest to bring ruin to humanity."

"Do I have a choice about this?"


The vampire closed his pack and adjusted his bandages, looking at the horror he was going to be serving for the foreseeable future.

"Alright, you want a tour of the city?"

"That would be most beneficial."

The two stepped out of the store and onto the streets as Bernie told the beast everything he knew about the Calamity.

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