Welcome to Deer College's Annual Job Fair! (4.5k words)
"I can't do this."
A retching sound followed by the flush of the toilet. The bathroom door slowly opened, and in the mirror of the sink opposite the cubicle, the face of the most dejected fishman he'd ever seen appeared.
He slowly walked to the sink and began rinsing his face. Yuri Oblak stared at his reflection. The dark circles under his black eyes made them sink into chasms, and his cerulean skin seemed closer to white than its usual blue. He put his hands to his face and took a deep breath.
"I can do this, I can do this, I can do this…" he muttered in a singsong voice, trying to put on his winner's face.
"Confident tone, smile, and tie: this is the Trinity you'll be turning to from now on," his superior used to repeat before he and the other salespeople were sent to mediate with potential buyers all over the globe. And Yuri was sure of it: selling toxins or miracle cures to ruthless gangsters would be much easier than the next task he'd been assigned.
He left the bathroom and, without even turning to close the door, began walking with a determined stride through the corridors of the floor. To take the shortest route to his destination, he knew he had to face an additional challenge.
Passing the break room during lunchtime. The vultures' lair. As he opened the door to the room, an ironic applause arose.
"So, Yuri, ready to take them all out, huh?" Gianmicheli, his colleague from the sales department, shouted at him, laughing, while the others in attendance sneered.
"Come on, they're waiting for you with open arms. What's with that long face?" Kovač remarked, slamming his hand on the coffee table.
Yuri continued to cross the room, ignoring them completely. Besides, what could he have answered, knowing what he had been ordered to do? Once he left the room, his destination was right in front of him: the office of Marilena Siniscalchi, head of HR. He stopped at the door and took the deepest breath he'd taken all day - or all month, for that matter. He knocked.
"One moment!" rang the voice of someone who had just been interrupted with a bite of food in their mouth.
"Come in, come in!" she shouted again, more clearly.
As he opened the door, Yuri set foot in a spacious office: in front of the large window, a gleaming mahogany desk with a computer and a chicken salad on it. Sitting at the desk was an old blonde woman.
"I hope I'm not bothering-" Yuri said, but the woman quickly interrupted him with a gesture.
"Yuri Oblak, my dear, come on in, have a seat!" Marilena exclaimed, indicating one of the armchairs in front of the desk.
Yuri approached and sat down while the manager flashed one of her brightest smiles.
"I assume you've already read the email I sent you. Have you packed your bags for Maine yet?"
"Yes, of course, but-" Yuri murmured.
"Everything's already been planned: we've already forwarded your arrival time and location to Dr. Forsythe. A car will take you to the Freeport entrance and-"
"I can't do that, Dr. Siniscalchi." This time, it was Yuri who interrupted the woman, and he immediately regretted it: the expression on her face was one of polite but clear irritation.
"What do you mean by that, Mr. Oblak?" she asked, her initial enthusiasm now gone.
The salesman's fingers tightened on the fabric of his trousers.
"I know what I have to do, where I have to go, and what to say, but I can't do it. You know why," he uttered in a single breath.
"Please, Mr. Oblak," she said calmly and slowly. "Pretend I'm not an executive at this company and explain to me why you would refuse to do your job.". Her sarcasm was like a blade to Yuri's ears, but his tension was too great for him to care.
"Well then, let's start with this," he shouted decisively and took a piece of paper from his briefcase.
The manager stared at the paper and then back at him, visibly confused.
"Pizza?" Yuri blurted out. "Pizza?"
"Yeah, what's the problem?"
"I'm about to go to the biggest college in Three Portlands for a damned Job Fair with the world's leading techno-thaumaturgical companies, face a horde of students who've been protesting our presence there for days, and all I have is this?"
"Our marketing people have found pizza to be a consistent and reliable trend among the 18-25 demographic." the manager replied neutrally.
"Tell them to monitor social media more closely and maybe download the Void app, because they might have missed the thousands of memes that have been circulating around the globe," Yuri blurted out vehemently. "Hell, half of those were curses. I've had to exorcise my phone twice in the last week, trying to figure out what kind of death I'm going to die tomorrow."
A hoarse laugh escaped the manager's lips, but there was no trace of hilarity on her face. When she moved her chair closer to her desk, Yuri had the urge to retreat for a moment.
"So, do you know why they're protesting?" she asked, almost in a whisper.
Yuri snorted. "Of course, everyone here at the company knows about our exile from Esterberg. A series of events that has gone terribly wrong, and they say we're now trying to patch things up with the bigwigs."
"Well, do you know who these bigwigs are? Because I can answer you myself," she said, her tone growing increasingly sarcastic. This time her tone wounded Yuri's courage, making him stiff in his chair.
"Local authorities, not to mention the GOC, PANGEA, and the worst of all…" the woman declared.
"Not that…" Yuri muttered, terrified.
The corners of Marilena's smile reached her sharp cheekbones this time.
"Yes, the Unusual Incidents Unit of the FBI."
A series of images began to flow through Yuri's mind: aliens being tortured in secret laboratories, people being kidnapped and interrogated in dark rooms.
"I don't need to elaborate on how we're managing to quell their wrath before it hits us, but what you need to know is that that job fair is essential to both of our businesses."
Yuri remained silent. The manager was pleased.
"It doesn't matter if you fail to convince a single kid or if they spit in your face, Febris Pharmaceuticals will be present on the Deer College campus. President Farnesi demands it, as do the upper echelons of the UIU."
"Do you want to go against one of them, Yuri Oblak?" she asked defiantly.
Yuri lowered his head. The woman had won.
"I just have one question," he murmured softly.
"Why me? Why was I chosen out of all the salespeople from the Southern European offices?"
Marilena Siniscalchi smiled and pointed to the flyer on her desk.
"The Marketing Team found that at least 71% of their sample subjects expects a… representative of a local ethnicity, and since 97% would consider choosing a Fae after Esterberg hypocritical, not to mention the difficulty of getting an incorporeal Not-Living through a Way, the pool of choices was extremely small".
It was 4:27 in the morning, and the sun hadn't yet risen to warm the cold mist gathering in the streets of Bangor, Maine. In a half-hidden alley, a car with tinted windows shone its headlights on an old mirror frame that had been leaning against the wall for ages. Suddenly, the mirror's mercilessly shattered surface began to reshape itself, as if an invisible blacksmith were reforging it.
As the surface reassembled, an arm emerged from it; followed by the other arm, the head of a fishman poked out, and with difficulty, the entire body resurfaced, almost falling to the ground.
"Damn, it's getting harder and harder to pass…" Yuri muttered, shaking the dust off himself.
He looked up at the car, which turned off its headlights. The right door opened, and a smartly dressed man stepped out. He wore thick glasses, which didn't properly match his suit.
He approached him, holding out his right hand. "Dr John Forsythe, Baltimore headquarters. Yuri Oblak from Gorična, I presume?" he asked politely.
Yuri shook his hand. "Did you get that from the accent?" he replied.
The man didn't laugh. Yuri didn't flinch, he just remembered how it works with chemists and humor.
"It's nice to meet you, Dr. Forsythe. I hope your trip from Baltimore was pleasant," he added quickly.
"Oh, thank you. I hope yours was as pleasant too, although traveling via magic is indeed faster and more convenient," he replied impassively.
"It certainly has its advantages," he replied cordially, hiding the truth like a true salesman: traveling through the Ways is certainly not easy, if your entire company might already be on the Library's blacklist.
"Shall we get going then? We have over two hours to reach the Free Port access point."
"Absolutely, absolutely," Forsythe replied, and together they approached the vehicle.
Celebrating the end of the pleasantries with a sigh, Yuri opened the door and climbed in. After a half-hour drive, mostly spent in silence, staring out the window at the sunrise, Yuri took courage.
"You're not worried, are you?" he asked bluntly. At best, misery loves company. At worst, well, he wasn't too afraid of seeming cowardly to one of the hundreds of scientists at the company.
"About what?" Forsythe replied.
"Well, the student protests. Hell, that's all anyone talks about in Gorična. I guess you've heard some of it, haven't you?" he replied, trying to hide his annoyance.
"Oh yes, that. Well, in the Baltimore labs, we certainly don't have time to worry about matters like that," Forsythe replied indifferently.
"Don't tell me you're not afraid of walking into an institute of magicians who see you as the enemy? I'll be honest, I wouldn't blame you," Yuri said.
Forsythe looked at Yuri with polite perplexity, but the tone of his words did not reflect that courtesy.
"I have no idea how informed you are, but the UIU has guaranteed our safety: entry, stay on campus, and exit after the event," he said slowly. "Our presence has been deemed essential; they won't let anything interfere with our stay. And as far as I'm concerned, that includes the welcoming committee you're so afraid of."
These words could have calmed him down, but the chemist's condescending tone did not give Yuri the reassurance he needed in the slightest.
"But why are they so obsessed with this event?" Yuri muttered. "From what I understand, the UIU manages to secure a quota of students each year to place in their offices. Why are we so essential this year, given our image problems?"
Forsythe laughed, shaking his head slightly.
"We're the 'Competition': we're the only ones in the biopharmaceutical industry, and they're counting on that," he began to explain. "If we recruit any students for the company, they'll most likely be souls snatched from other GOC-affiliated STEM companies. If not, we'll be an example of the bad days companies face anyway, and they'll decide to stay away from the entire environment."
"So, no matter what happens today, the UIU wins and GOC faces a potential staff shortage?" Yuri asked.
"Exactly, Mr. Oblak," Forsythe nodded. "They always win."
"And I suppose we get both 'their forgiveness' and a few potential new interns," he said.
"You guessed it, along with a few small perks. The Head of Research at my office promised me a promotion, no matter what happens today," Forsythe replied with a smug smile.
"Yeah, they promised me a nice Christmas bonus too! How lucky we are!" Yuri replied, smiling back.
Then, he looked back out the window. He was no longer in the mood to talk to that man.
The uneasy feeling that had been plaguing Yuri hadn't abated when the car pulled up in front of the UIU garrison and the two representatives saw their escort for the first time. Two seemingly ordinary men approached them as they exited the car.
"Agents Rocky and Castle," they said directly, limiting themselves to a quick handshake.
As he shook their hands, Yuri wondered if those were actually their names or if they were just an accessory to their anonymity, like their dark suits and fedoras. Forsythe seemed to be stiffer than before when he greeted the two officers, which Yuri was pleased to note.
DC Official
⁂Deer College of Portlands
Deer College's annual Career Fair will begin in one hour in Knorr Hall! Students are reminded that due to recent events, entry will be granted only after a search of backpacks and bags. For more details, visit deercollege.odyssey.edu/job_fair2026
- ECHOES 32
- HUMS 255
8:00 AM · 10 May 2018
SneelySnell
⁂Hargensen Lives
A round of applause for the administration that bowed 90 degrees to the fascists and the bioweapons dealers. #EsterbergDoesntForget #FebrisPharmaceuticals #SilencedButNotSilent
- ECHOES 230
- HUMS 774
8:03 AM · 10 May 2018
The tram seat Yuri was sitting in became more and more uncomfortable. Three Portlands was a picturesque and unique city, but within minutes of entering, his amazement quickly turned to nostalgia for Gorična. Sure, a city where it doesn't magically rain every minute of the day has many advantages over his hometown, but deep down, he was increasingly missing the view of the cliffs.
Yuri suddenly realized he was sighing more than was appropriate for his role, and he cut it off, trying to compose himself with a more serious expression. Luckily, the ride was short and silent, and Yuri soon found himself getting off at the stop that led to the college.
Once they crossed the property's boundaries, Yuri felt the same sense of anguish that had made him double over in the bathrooms at the Gorična headquarters. It was a fear that shook his bones and the fins he kept folded under his suit, and he really hoped that nothing but his color gave it away. Especially now that he was about to walk among the students.
He was trying to scan around him, looking for young Fae with banners and loudspeakers as he focused on walking in a nearly straight line, trying futilely to blend in with the crowd of students. He turned only once to see Forsythe and the officers, but he was unsurprisingly aware that none of them were nearly as worried as he was. So far, everything seemed normal; no students in the courtyard seemed to notice them, busy pacing the courtyard or lounging on the grass reading. Something was strange. Where were the protests? Where were the banners he'd seen on Void just the other day?
Maybe Forsythe was actually right and UIU had somehow taken action with the campus administration, stopping the most troublesome protesters ahead of the event? Perhaps the goddess Febris had answered his prayers?
They continued walking for a few minutes along the stone path, until they reached Knorr Hall. It was 8:50 when they entered the building and reached the main hall, and Yuri wasn't surprised to see that all the other companies' stands were already set up; it certainly wasn't their first rodeo.
Robotics, civil engineering, parapsychology, renewable energy. As Forsythe had said, they were the only ones to have combined thaumaturgy with biotechnology, while the competition had specialized in completely different aspects of thaumaturgy applied to every branch of human knowledge. Of all the booths presented, he knew that at least a third were affiliated with the GOC, and another third were recruiting future agents with "outside" jobs that would then lead to a "Special Agent" appointment. The others were just small fish still trying to make a name for themselves in the industry, little known and without any appeal to the forces at play.
"Look, Oblak," Forsythe said, pointing to a spot to the north. In that direction, a booth bearing the colors and logo of Febris Pharmaceuticals stood out from the Blue and White of almost everyone else.
Yuri breathed a sigh of relief; now that he could actually see the place, a part of him had begun to abandon his blind fear of protests and disasters.
"Well, they did a really good job. I didn't expect it to be ready and waiting!" he said cheerfully to the chemist, who had bent under one of the tables to grab a heavy box.
"Almost everything, almost everything," Forsythe declared, placing the box on the table. He removed the lid, and Yuri felt anxious again as he looked at its contents. The pizza flyers.
"Come on, let's get to it!" Forsythe exclaimed, pointing to them. "Take some and post them on the noticeboards outside the room and in the corridors. I'm sure I've seen some around."
Yuri swallowed; he would have preferred to be seen around with the FP logo as little as possible, but he knew he couldn't complain to the chemist, or worse, the two officers who had already taken up positions on either side of the stand.
"I'm going, I'm going," he muttered, grabbing a few from the pile that had already been pulled out.
"And quick, too! The students will be let in soon!" Forsythe exclaimed, separating the rows of flyers.
The wide, wood-paneled corridors were crowded with lines of teenagers and young adults waiting to enter shortly. Yuri moved along the open side of the corridor until he spotted a noticeboard behind a group of kids in line. He took a deep breath and approached them.
"Excuse me, guys," he said politely, already trying to show off his salesman's touch. "I need to put up a couple of sheets."
Three kids in Deer College sweatshirts turned to him. "Sure, go ahead," one of them replied, moving just enough to let him get closer to the wall.
"Very kind, thank you very much," Yuri replied, smiling. Once he got closer, he grabbed some of the pins already stuck in the cork and began trying to pin one of the flyers in his hand.
"Okay, one less," he muttered, quickly moving away from the line.
"Hey, sir?" he heard someone shout behind him.
As he turned, he saw a crumpled purple sheet of paper thrown at his feet. He looked up and saw the entire section of the line laughing and grunting at him.
Those laughters and those animalistic noises seemed to echo inside his head for an eternity, as he stared at that sheet of paper.
Their detractors were certainly not gone, but they were there in the crowd, just as he had feared. Maybe this time Forsythe would have understood the situation, whether there were agents protecting them or not, before it was too late. He stuffed the remaining flyers, crumpling them into his pocket, and quickly walked toward the main room.
"There you are, finally! I thought you'd run away," Forsythe commented annoyed, seeing him arrive. As soon as they both sat down behind the main table, the doors to the room opened, letting dozens of students in.
"Listen, Dr. Forsythe, before we start here, I should tell you that something rather unpleasant happened outside…" Yuri muttered.
The chemist turned sharply toward him. "Stop it, Oblak. No one's going to kill you today, but tomorrow or the day after, you might have to worry about it, since I'll be sending a personal report of the day to your superiors," he commented acidly. "Do your job, tell these brats how great it is to travel the world, meet people, and sell pills, and be a man for once."
Yuri's fingers automatically clenched into fists. He hadn't even finished inhaling before the words automatically came out of his mouth. "All right, asshole, I'll do my job, but if I have to get fired because I smell shit in here, you can be sure I'll at least get some satisfaction before the end of the day,"
The Agents turned toward them, and both representatives moved away from each other; they would settle their professional differences away from the eyes and bullets of their business partners.
Meanwhile, the students had begun swarming toward the various booths, filling the room with noise, chatter, and laughter. There were certainly plenty of people who had brought equipment or audiovisual material to attract attention, and Febris would be no exception. Forsythe, in fact, began mixing test tubes inside some Bunsen burners he had placed on the table next to theirs, posters already plastered on the wall behind them.
Thaumochemical generation of ascorbic acid. A spell to turn water and smoke into lemonade.
Yuri, meanwhile, remained seated among the piles of flyers, waiting for the tide to arrive. He realized he was sweating coldly as he tried to calm himself.
"A couple of rude students are nothing compared to the chaos I expected. We can last eight hours if the price is just a few pieces of paper thrown on the floor and some animal noises." he kept repeating to himself.
His attention was drawn, however, to a group of students. A dozen of them were gathered in front of the booth, yet they remained a safe distance from the tables and the representatives.
"Okay, okay, let's get to work," he murmured.
"Hi, guys!" he exclaimed, rising from his chair and spreading his arms. "Come closer, take a flyer!"
The students remained motionless, staring at him.
"Have you ever been to Europe? Because Febris Pharmaceuticals can give you the opportunity to visit timeless places like Florence and Gorična, where you can hone your knowledge and specialize in fields of magic you've never seen before!"
Not his best opening speech, but Yuri was sure it should have elicited some reaction, but the small group remained still as other students joined them. Yuri continued to smile, despite the growing feeling of tightness in the center of his chest.
"Come on, don't be shy! My colleague, Dr. Forsythe, is more than happy to explain how he created a supplement with a simple spell, and I assure you, it's truly better than any soda you can drink to help you prepare for your exams!" he exclaimed again, trying to remain calm.
Hearing his name called, Forsythe dropped the test tubes and approached the table.
"As Mr. Oblak has already anticipated, this is indeed a fascinating process, one of the many mysteries of thaumochemistry we have perfected in our laboratories and facilities on nearly every continent," Forsythe said, addressing the growing crowd. His speech, though seemingly lacking Yuri's warmth, was no less eloquent.
But it was then that Yuri noticed that among the group there were some of the students who had yelled and grunted at him. And unlike the others, they were looking at the ceiling. Yuri looked up and his heart stopped, as drawn above the stand was a glowing seal.
Yuri had never been a skilled thaumaturge beyond the few skills required by his profession, but he knew perfectly well how to recognize a Teleportation Seal. More importantly, he knew how to recognize a Seal that was about to activate.
"Forsythe, run away, it's a trap!" he suddenly shouted at the chemist. But Forsythe stopped for a few seconds to give him a brief look of contempt.
"As I was saying, Thaumatologically Modified Enzymes ar-".
"Go ahead and die, you idiot!" he shouted, as he leaped from the table, hitting the floor. He immediately got up and tried to run as fast as he could away from there.
It was at that moment that the seal flashed, and a stream of red liquid rained down on the stand, completely covering the chemist and the Agents. The large group of students began clapping, while the red figures began writhing and screaming.
"Forsythe!" Yuri shouted, staring at the terrifying spectacle. He whirled around the terrified crowd. "Quick! Get help! A medic, quick!"
"Ob… Lak…"
An inhuman sound had just risen from the red figure in the center, whose limbs were mutating into something much smaller and more compact. Aside from the groans of the men in full transmutation and the increasingly thunderous applause of the students, no one said a word. Yuri was paralyzed with fear. It was only when he saw a small, curly tail making its way through the now outsized clothes covering the chemist that his body reacted and he fainted, falling to the wooden floor.
To: moc.amrahpsirbef.noce|eciffo#moc.amrahpsirbef.noce|eciffo
From: moc.amrahpsirbef.rh|iterpazzortsaneliram#moc.amrahpsirbef.rh|iterpazzortsaneliram
Subject: Forsythe Salary Freeze
To the attention of the Office,
Given the current inability to open a letter due to the lack of opposable thumbs and the porcine-like behavior, a suspension of pay is requested for employee John Forsythe, who is currently considered unfit for work.
Further updates on the employee's employment status will be provided as soon as researchers at the Baltimore office have made progress in reversing the transfiguration process.
Best regards,
Marilena Siniscalchi, Head of HR Division
Lying in his bed, Yuri slowly smoked a cigarette. The rain hitting the bedroom window and the pale light coming from it were almost making him drowsy.
He picked up his phone and opened Void. The first post he saw was yet another repost of Forsythe and the agents' transformation; he knew that video by heart by now, including the part where he was seen fainting on the floor. What a shame not to know if they'd healed their #Carrie-fication.
He left the company the next day, and a month later, he still hasn't regretted it. Sure, finding work these days isn't easy, but he knew he'd get by somehow. What matters is that everything's okay now.
He stubbed out his cigarette in the bowl on the bedside table and closed his eyes.
Everything's okay now.
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