The Janitor's Closet

You approach a closet on Site-30. A note is posted on the door. It states:

"Heyo. If you're reading this, you have approached a dark and mysterious corner of this facility. You're also about to enter my personal living quarters. Yeah. I live in Site-30's broom closet. What of it? Anyway, if you go in there, you're gonna find a bunch of mops and some papers I found. Those papers are my own business, and I'd rather you not read them. Cool?"

"-Janitor Worth"

You enter the closet to find a bunch of mops, brooms, a bucket or two. One such bucket is on the desk, and a bunch of papers are inside the bucket. On the side of the bucket, it says "Level 1 Clearance Required"

You look in the bucket.

SCP-3270: "So, my aunt spontaneously turned into a cat. I thought that was kinda weird, so I dug through her stuff and I found this. Reported it to the doctors. And then they all turned into cats. I guess it was kinda weird."

SCP-3358: "Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini and I were taking a trip to Washington, when we were chilling with a few reality benders. We were pretty high, and they were going on about this invisible apartment building. I visited it, thought it was cool. But Nicolini ratted them out. Fucking narc."


"I listened to some of their songs. I'm a fan of their album "Everything You Do Is Fucking Garbage""

SCP-3556: "Honestly, fuck this thing. Doctor Beck made me stick this thing on my forehead. And this sticky note starts yelling about how I suck at cleaning. And at that point Beck had to come and get me because I was right about to burn this thing."


"This was me back in my younger years. Back when I had hair and also was rich enough to afford a hat. Man, those were the days. Time flies, am I right?"

SCP-3908: "So, this thing is SCP-3908. I mean, I know that. But the file won't tell me anything else about the thing. Whoever wrote this should probably be fired. They're pretty terrible at their job."

SCP-3744: "Me and keyiikeyii were doing Site-30 things, like mopping up dead folks and filing taxes. But then, we saw this dick who had an almost dead brother. Like, get over yourself man. We all have dead people."

Site-30's Janitor: "Hey would ya look at that? Someone took the time to write a tale about ol' Worth. Might I add, the mop is a rather unappreciated weapon. Simple, effective and cheap."

The Bakery Of Magic And Mirth: "This file just keeps changing. It might be magical, but I don't want the doctors to take it. Finders keepers, ya know?"

Durbal 2 - This Time, It's Personal: "Sequel to one of my favorite films of all time. It's got a few too many love triangles for my taste, but it also has a scene where Durbal stabs another Durbal with a third Durbal. Good shit, would recommend."

SCP-4557: "Raccoons are, in my opinion, the worst. They get into the vents all the time and keep drinking the cleaners I use. But these bastards went above and beyond in accusing me of murder. Which, I did. But they accused me of murdering the wrong guy. Glad this bastard's in jail. Or, is it multiple bastards? I forget."

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