The Great Bricking of Site-14

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"Another one?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Olivia Deaver closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Rachel'll have my ass for this, you know that?"

"Uh, yes, ma'am."

She looked at the worker's monitor, which displayed a rather cliché flickering skull.

"What are you downloading anyways?"

The worker's eyes widened, and Olivia's narrowed. A tense moment passed.

"N…nothing. Ma'am."

Olivia flashed her signature glare at him, and walked back to her office. She knew it was no use interrogating him. He was the 32nd victim of "The Great Bricking", as her colleagues had so uncreatively named it. Victims clammed up when asked, and broke down when pressed. Everytime. Site-14 had a rubbish reputation already, and Olivia, as Assistant Director, knew all too well that this would be the last nail in the coffin if Rachel caught wind of this. They'd thrown everything at the issue at this point. Statistics found no correlation between victims, IT refused to give results, memetics wrote them up as clean, and…

An orange flicker outside Olivia's window caught her eye. Sounds of panic invigorate her to stand up and investigate. Pushing her door open, she finds a computer directly outside her office that has burst into flames. Workers stand nearby, paralysed. Quick as a whip - quicker, some may say - Olivia channeled her shock into authority.

"Well… do something!"

They all delayed for a moment, before one dashed for the extinguisher. She skimmed over the instructions, before darting to the side of the fire opposite Olivia. She pulled off the pin, clasped the handle, but…

"Wait, stop!" Olivia cried.

It's too late. The worker closed her eyes and sprayed excessively until the extinguisher emptied. She opened her eyes, and looked on in relief at the foam covered and fuming desk. She then froze up at the sight of her foam covered and fuming superior.


Date: April 07, 2022 15:34

From: Assistant Director Olivia Deaver (pcs.41etis|revaedo#pcs.41etis|revaedo)

To: All Site-14 Personnel (pcs.41etis|lla#pcs.41etis|lla)

Message Subject: Recent Computer Crashes


Attention all Site-14 Personnel,

As you may have noticed, a number of our terminals have been affected by a computer virus of unknown origin. This has been classified a Level 1 priority, and any individuals willing to come forward will receive double wage for the next six months.

Regards,
Olivia Deaver.


Olivia sighs, plucks a tissue, then cleans off enough extinguisher foam to shave with. She sits back and takes a moment to look over her office. Even as Assistant Director, her office was not much more lavish than those outside. In the squeak of the rusting ceiling fan, atop her plastic IKEA chair, Olivia silently deplored how far the Telecommunications Monitoring Office had fallen. After a while, she sat forward in her chair and edited her email slightly.

Attention all Site-14 Personnel,

As you may have noticed, a number of our terminals have been affected by a computer virus of unknown origin. Several have ceased to function, and one has combusted. This has been classified a Level 1 priority, and any individuals willing to come forward will receive double wage for the next two weeks.

Regards,
Olivia Deaver.


The next day, Olivia plopped down on her chair with two Starbucks lattes, a sigh, and one of those unusually large cookies on every café counter. She booted up her terminal and took a sip from her latte. She jolted forward at the sight of a "(1)" on her email tab, then grabbed her mouse as though it were about to squeak and run away from her.

Oh, thank God.

It's from IT.

Date: April 07, 2022 19:23

From: Level 1 IT Technician Gerry Darlingson (pcs.41etis|nosgnilradg#pcs.41etis|nosgnilradg)

To: Assistant Director Olivia Deaver (pcs.41etis|revaedo#pcs.41etis|revaedo)

Message Subject: Re: Recent Computer Crashes


Olivia,

A computer virus is specifically a program that replicates its code across machines. Too little is known about the issue to know if this is indeed how it functions, so I implore you call it a "software bug".

Yours sincerely,
Gerry.


Date: April 08, 2022 08:46

From: Assistant Director Olivia Deaver (pcs.41etis|revaedo#pcs.41etis|revaedo)

To: Level 1 IT Technician Gerry Darlingson (pcs.41etis|nosgnilradg#pcs.41etis|nosgnilradg)

Message Subject: Re: Re: Recent Computer Crashes


Gerry,

Firstly, do not refer to me as "Olivia". Secondly, it's "Yours faithfully". Thirdly, you're fired. Effective immediately.

Olivia.


Date: April 08, 2022 08:48

From: Level 1 IT Technician Gerry Darlingson (pcs.41etis|nosgnilradg#pcs.41etis|nosgnilradg)

To: Assistant Director Olivia Deaver (pcs.41etis|revaedo#pcs.41etis|revaedo)

Message Subject: whatever


You bozos hand out massive severances, so I should be glad!





"Ohhhh, fuck."

"Need me to take over?"

"No, I'm fine. It's just these… fucking spiders."

Eric flashed glazed eyes at Jake.

"Dude. Hookshot."

Jake groaned in realisation, then continued through the Water Temple. A greasy hand appeared over the cubicle divider, followed by a sly plump face.

"Hey, heh, whatchyou guys playin'?"

The wall groaned in response to the weight placed on it. Bob readjusted his weight. Eric and Jake looked at him loathingly.

"Ocarina of Time."

"Oh yeah? Which bit?"

"Uh, Water Temple. Why?"

Bob bellowed. "Hah! I finished that bit, like, yesterday!"

Eric and Jake coiled up in fear of Bob's volume.

"Dude, shut up. This place pays more money than we'd ever see otherwise, so if you get us caught, it'll be the last… fucking urchins!"

Realising his irreparable mistake, Jake guided the trio's eyes to Deborah's desk, expecting to see her smugly push up her glasses, stand up from her perfectly organised desk, and alert her supervisor. They instead saw an empty seat.

"Where's Deborah?" Eric asked.

"Bitch got the day off." Bob snorted.

"Pfft, just shows this place values suck ups."

"Nah, that's the thing. She wanted to keep working, but she got bricked."

"Bricked? What happ- -"

"You missed the Lullaby prompt."

"Thanks, Eric. What happened with that?"

"It changed the water level." Bob chirped.

"The bricking, not the Temple. I've heard that's been going around."

"Didn't you get the Assistant Director's email?" Eric asked.

"Who do you think I am?"

Jake alt+f4'd to desktop, then opened his email. A "(426)" flashed urgently at him. He searched 'from:odeav' and found it. After skimming through it, he sat back in his chair and contemplated. Eric and Bob joined him, then mentally scanned through the past week for any odd activity they noticed. With their collective memory polluted by OoT achievements, Dwarf Fortress playthroughs, and Rogue tactics, they gave up.
Eric sighed. "Well, guess we better get back to work. You've got some emails to read, huh?"



Unsurprisingly, the vast majority of emails were telling him to get back to work. A quarter were requests for office supplies, and most of the remaining quarter was casual office chatter, as he seems to be the only one aware that superiors have access to all email communications. The remaining email caught Jake's eye.

Date: April 08, 2022 08:56

From: The O5 Council (moc.pcs.10etis|5O#moc.pcs.10etis|5O)

To: Level 1 Telecommunications Worker Jacob Terring (pcs.41etis|gnirretj#pcs.41etis|gnirretj)

Message Subject: IMPORTANT: OPEN ALONE

Attachment: 12wsAfovD43.exe


The following message has been composed by consensus of the 05 Council. Informing anyone about the existence of this email is grounds for the termination of you and your immediate family. The below visual cognitohazard will kill all observers, except for you.

coghaz.png

Congratulations on checking your inbox this morning, because it just saved your life. I can't disclose much about our situation at the moment, but I can say this: the Foundation is under attack, and you are one of our only hopes. The Telecommunications Monitoring Department is the first step in their plan, and as such any one of your colleages could be working against you. They plan to use the resources available at Site-14 in order to attack the global intranet from within. Failure to download the attachment will result in your termination. The Foundation will endure.
- O5-1



"H…hey Eric?"

Eric kicked his swivel chair from his cubicle and rolled over to Jake's cubicle.

"What's up?"

He craned his neck to look at Jake's monitor.

"DON'T… look at the screen."

Eric scoffs, "Jake, I've played the game, I'm not worried about spoi…"

Eric pauses, seeing Jake quivering in his seat.

"W… uh… What's the zero five council?"

"The oh five council. I'm pretty sure they gave us a briefing on it. They're above Rachel, they've got nothing to do with us, and the rest is…"

"Above our clearance." Eric and Jake said in unison.

A fat hand re-emerges over the divider.

"Whatchya guy- -"

"DON'T LOOK!"

"Jake, don't worry. I've play- -"

"I'M NOT FUCKING PLAYING OCARINA OF TIME, JUST FUCK OFF!"

"Oh…"

Eric furrowed his brow. "What do you mean you're not…"

Realisation dawned on Eric. "You fucking didn't."

Tears streamed down Jake's face. "Please… stop… talking about it…"

Eric slowly rolled back to his cubicle. Bob's hand slipped away.

Through tear stricken eyes, Jake reread the email in detail. There weren't any loopholes in their instructions, and it's obviously…




Hang on.


"Hey, Bob?"

"Yo."

"You got any duct tape?"


Olivia twiddled her thumbs like she's trying to remove them. If she didn't get to the bottom of this, Rachel would come back to a large pile of ash in place of Site-14. More importantly, this would go on Olivia's record.

"Miss Deaver!"

Olivia picked up a faint cry from outside. A part of her ran through all the possible scenarios that would result from her leaving her inbox at such an important time. Another part of her knew she needed something to take her mind off the issue. She sat up from her desk, keeping an eagle eye on her inbox for as long as possible. She slowly paced towards the door. She reached for the door han- -

BANG!


The door hit Olivia square on the nose with almost enough force to pull the door from its hinges. Once there, she hit her head on the plaster. In the door frame stood a triumphant yet exasperated Jake holding his half-duct-taped laptop.

"Miss… Deaver… I found… the bricking… not real…" He panted.

He drops his triumphant stance and frowns in confusion, "Miss Deaver? Are you in here?"

"Unnngghh… please… knock… next time."

Jake's gaze dropped to the corner of the room, where he found a mass of dishevelled hair and beige clothing he called Assistant Director.

"Ma'am, the bricking, it's this fake email from the O5s."

"Nnn, what exactly makes you… think that?"

Jake bent down and showed her the email, with the cognitohazard duct-taped over.

Olivia sat up and frowned. "What the hell have you been doing with this tape? Get it off."

She reached forward to pull off the tape. Jake swatted her hand away.

"Don't! It's one of those… deadly fractal image thingys."

Olivia's eyes widen, then she froze. "Uh… I… don't think you should be showing me this…"

"Just… read it."

She pushed her hair out of her face and skimmed through the email, becoming increasingly frantic as she did.

Date: April 08, 2022 08:56

From: The O5 Council (moc.pcs.10etis|5O#moc.pcs.10etis|5O)

To: Level 1 Telecommunications Worker Jacob Terring (pcs.41etis|gnirretj#pcs.41etis|gnirretj)

Message Subject: IMPORTANT: OPEN ALONE

Attachment: 12wsAfovD43.exe


The following message has been composed by consensus of the 05 Council. Informing anyone about the existence of this email is grounds for the termination of you and your immediate family.
exce







king your inbox this morning, because it just saved your life. I can't disclose much about our situation at the moment, but I can say this: the Foundation is under attack, and you are one of our only hopes. The Telecommunications Monitoring Department is the first step in their plan, and as such any one of your colleages could be working against you. They plan to use the resources available at Site-14 in order to attack the global intranet from within. Failure to download the attachment will result in your termination. The Foundation will endure.
- O5-1




"Hey, I… you realise what you're doing by showing me this, right?"

"Ma'am, I keep telling you; it's not real!"

"Watch your tone."

Jake cringed, then pointed at the screen. "Look here. Do you really think the higher ups in a place as meticulous as this would misspell 'colleagues'?"

Olivia's jaw dropped. She pulls Jake in for an uncharacteristic hug, much to his surprise.

"Kid, you just saved Site-14."

Jake was taken aback, then smiled smugly at Olivia. "Oh, uh, heh, thank you, ma'am. I didn't know it was that big a deal! If that's the case then, uh, could I persuade you into extending my wage double?"

"You're… haggling your wage double? Seriously?"

Jake's face dropped. He stood up. "Wh…I… $1000 then, ma'am."

He shut his laptop, and headed for the door.

"Uh, hang on. We'll need the laptop to hand over to IT."

Jake's throat dropped to his stomach.

"Uh, don't worry, ma'am. I'll just email them the IP."

"Kid, we don't know what other coghazards came with that thing. Besides, that was an order."

Date: April 09, 2022 16:10

From: Assistant Director Olivia Deaver (pcs.41etis|revaedo#pcs.41etis|revaedo)

To: Level 1 Telecommunications Worker Jacob Terring (pcs.41etis|gnirretj#pcs.41etis|gnirretj)

Message Subject: Recent Occurences


Mr. Terring,

I am glad to inform you that you were not contacted by an O5 Council member fearing espionage, but a scam call center with anomalous capabilities phishing as one. We've tracked their equipment to a compound in the Philippines, and Mobile Task Force Omicron-67 ("Zeroth Responders") has been sent to their location. In case you're wondering, yes, the cognitohazard was genuine. You are commended for your ingenuity in resolving this.

It has come to my attention that various video game programs are installed on your work computer. Under normal circumstances, this would be grounds for discharge. These, however, are not normal circumstances. Don't worry, I'm willing to sweep this under the rug.


I do have to ask, how exactly did you manage to install these programs on our software?

Regards,
Olivia.


Date: April 11, 2022 16:34

From: Level 1 Telecommunications Worker Jacob Terring (pcs.41etis|gnirretj#pcs.41etis|gnirretj)

To: Assistant Director Olivia Deaver (pcs.41etis|revaedo#pcs.41etis|revaedo)

Message Subject: Re: Recent Occurrences


Hi Miss,

Thank you. Coincidentally, I bought duct tape this very morning in an effort to improve my organisation.

Sorry about the games, it won't happen again. Gerry from IT put them on for me.

Thank you,
Jake.


Date: April 11, 2022 16:34

From: Assistant Director Olivia Deaver (pcs.41etis|revaedo#pcs.41etis|revaedo)

To: Level 1 IT Technician Gerry Darlingson (pcs.41etis|nosgnilradg#pcs.41etis|nosgnilradg)

Message Subject: Software Tampering


Mr. Darlingson,

I have recently become aware of your tampering with a Mr. Terring's laptop in order to host video game programs. This is punishable via wage cut. Due to a loophole in policy, severance pay can be classified as wage. As such, your severance pay has been halved.

Yours faithfully,
Assistant Director Olivia Deaver.


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