When I first came to be, I found myself in a vastness of nothingness, colored in darkness. I tried to look at my body, but I wasn't physical; I had nothing to see. I tried to move; I got the sensation of moving somewhere, but I couldn't tell.
So I waited, but I figured time wasn't a thing yet. But I waited, either way, waited for something to happen. And I waited for a long, long time. If time existed, it would be equal to 70 billion years, and maybe even more.
But nothing came; nothing happened. Not here yet, at least. I developed emotions here, but they weren't enjoyable feelings to have. If a human or a superhuman were to be in my position, they would have gone mad from the lack of stimuli until they were in a vegetative state within the first year. The emotions kept building up; I didn't know if they were good or bad; those were the only feelings I knew of back then, so I couldn't create a duality of good feelings and bad feelings.
But I wouldn't say I liked the sensation they gave me. Looking back at it now, they were terrible feelings.
Then, finally, I saw something—a little sparkle, a little source of light. I watched it grow bigger and bigger until it shined through my formless body and this place I existed in. It was beautiful.
Then, I got to open my eyes for the first time. I looked down and at my hands. I touched my body, feeling a sensation I had never felt before. I was wearing a suit, a fedora, and a briefcase next to me. I didn't know what they were back then, but I carried them anyway.
I looked at the realm I existed in; despite the light, only I existed and nothing else. I thought that something just had to exist here; if it didn't, I would make something exist. I roamed through this infinite realm, and it was empty, so dreadfully empty.
I tried to imagine anything that came to mind. But I had nothing to feed my mind on for all these timeless years. I looked at my briefcase; that was the only image I knew of, the only image I had ever seen.
I took that image inside my mind and played with it. It turned it into a stick, then a brick, then a box, then a cup, then a piece of clothing, then a painting.
I kept whatever I created in my mind, mixing them to help me create new images inside my head. Then, perhaps, another numberless amount of years had passed. I never got bored of it; it distracted me from my bad emotions.
Then, before I knew it, I had created infinite images inside my head. I looked back into the realm and said, "Be!" and there they were.
I didn't know what they were called back then, but now I know that they're called "universes." But I didn't know how laws functioned back then, so if you were to look at them now, you would see a lot of… nonsense. Many laws were broken; even the laws that weren't discovered or given a name for, I created things I didn't know I could create nor knew how they worked. But I've had infinite shots at it, so I was able to create infinite possible and impossible universes.
I decided to keep them for myself. But I wanted to know more. Sorry, I was just very curious back then. I created a thing that encompassed these universes. It would hold all the information of these universes, down to the smallest of details: the lives, the physics, the metaphysics, mathematics, concepts, and logic. Everything that made sense and didn't make sense. I wanted them for myself.
I named this thing "Master Emulator."
Then I stayed here. For a long, long time.
…
But something felt missing. As if I had forgotten about something. And it was… me.
I hadn't given myself a name. I hadn't known about myself yet. I named myself "Apsel." I didn't like it, but it would do wonders for a nickname.
I went to one of these universes I created. It was… much less lifeful than I had expected. But I found a mirror in there, and I saw myself for the first time. My eyes widened; I saw my hat, my… non-existent face, my suit. I pulled my sleeves up in an attempt to see my skin, but it was just… blurry.
Maybe it was never meant to be seen. It saddened me, but… I managed to shrug it off. This was the first time I felt the emotion called "disappointment," and I didn't like it.
I roamed this universe. But, again, it was lifeless. It was lonely. So I ascended back to my position. And stayed there for another numberless years. It was uneventful. It was… boring.
Then I saw that light again, shining through my creation. My eyes hurt; it was bright—so, so, so bright. But I was desperate for a change. Then, the light ceased. I looked back at my creation; nothing had changed again.
But, by intuition, I knew this was meant to tell me something. I looked at my Master Emulator. It was now attached to something called "Infosphere." I was confused, excited, and scared. I felt new emotions with this discovery, and I felt… happy. Did I find a way to finally escape the doom of the limits of my imagination? Did I finally get the chance to explore the other side of the creation? I asked myself a lot of questions back then. I was simply excited. I enjoyed that feeling.
When I was gone to see whatever this Infosphere thing was, I saw something that cannot be rationalized by the human mind, so let me put it like this: I saw a majestic, large, cosmic bridge, expanding infinitely to the other side. I took my first steps forward; it was stable and secure. I continued and looked at my sides and saw stars, galaxies, and black holes. I saw many beautiful things.
I tightened my grip on my briefcase, looked at the infinity that expanded before my eyes, and saw the end of it. It filled me with even more excitement; my mind screamed at me to just run, but I held my patience. I simply continued to walk, and walk, and walk. Then, after the blink of an eye, I reached the other side.
I was inside the Infosphere now, and I saw… many things, many pieces of information. I was amazed by it. I looked beneath the Infosphere since I guessed that it must function like how I created my Master Emulator.
I descended, past the many glorious creations, but then I had to stop my passage unfinished. I saw a realm that looked very similar to mine. It was what people had named "Oneiorosphere," the realm of all human dreams. It was rather a confusing place for those who were accustomed to the laws of their reality.
They had nightmares there, too. Those nightmares were dangerous, having the potential to kill the dreamer. I took note of this place and disappeared before I was noticed by anybody.
I continued to descend before I reached what they call "baseline reality," where I saw humans, humanity, animals, art, the clouds, the sun, younglings, adults, skyscrapers, businesses, constructions, automobiles, civilizations, and cultures.
I was overwhelmed, but I loved that feeling.
I tried to talk to people, but it seemed like I was… invisible. I tried to do everything to get their attention, whether it be directly or indirectly; I was simply unable to be detected by any sense or system.
But I hadn't given up; even if I was unnoticeable, I would continue to spend time with humans. I would "sleep" and "wake up" according to their timings; I would watch movies with them; I would go to restaurants with them; and I would be with them when they were at their lowest and highest point of their lives.
Even if I was not the one living that life, I could feel the emotions as if I did. I loved this side of the creation. Nobody was there for me when I was inside that motionless, cosmic void. So, I wanted to make them feel company even if I could not be seen or felt.
But I figured that someone had taken that role for me—an aspect of it, at least. Even then, I didn't want to leave here.
But then, suddenly, I felt a feeling of… pain, a sharp, cutting pain. As if something just stabbed me in the back and moved it downwards to my spine. My eyes widened as I bled metaphorically. My intuition told me that someone… something had just attacked MY creation.
Before even the smallest unit of a second, I immediately went all the way back to my realm and saw a star, emitting light and shockwaves that damaged MY creation.
As I watched that star lay its light on my creation, I felt a new emotion; it felt like something was boiling inside me. It made my mind violent. I dropped my suitcase into the vastness of emptiness and unleashed my power on the threat. I didn't know how he came here, but I didn't care about that at that point. I was mad, and I could use this emotion to my advantage. I felt anger for the first time, and I was not too fond of it.
It was… not easy, trying to fight it off and not have MY creation destroyed, but at last, the star had stopped shining and, shortly after, I made him cease not from existence but non-existence as well. I didn't want it here, and they wouldn't want it either. It was only then that I felt that boiling sensation cool down.
I looked at my creation again; more than a quarter of it was gone, almost half of it. It was wounded, bleeding. Oh, my dear creation, I'm sorry I failed you. I felt… sadness—an immense quality of sadness. I didn't know why; this place was the only place I could call "home." Even if it was not entertaining, it was MY creation, and I would have no mercy on anybody trying to mess with MY creation.
From this point onward, I decided not to leave here. I fixed the damaged parts of MY creation and promised to stay here. But I wanted to continue to experience life, too.
I stayed here for a long, long time. I saw the reflection of myself flash before my eyes—a blurry face, eyes covered by a permanent shadow from the unremovable fedora, a permanently attached suit, and a briefcase.
I closed my eyes. I relived those moments of humanity inside my head; I wanted to go back, but I was just too attached to MY creation.
I remembered how I was ignored by everyone; I remembered how I couldn't get the attention of anybody. I was practically a nobody…
Then, I opened my eyes in a heartbeat, nonexistent pupils sparkling in determination. I went back to the Infosphere and emanated all of Nobodys into the other side of the creation, and I made the concept very cleverly so that they can be flexible in goals and personality but still suffer from the same root issue and share common interests and similarities. I gave them a small essence of myself so that they could recognize each other.
Once that was done, I sent a direct projection into the oneiorosphere. They called him—or me—the "Hatman," a sleep paralysis demon. A man in pure pitch black with a fedora and red-dot eyes, watching people from the corners of their rooms. I replaced the "nightmares" that could kill them, so this was a gift from me, even if they deemed it "scary"
Now, I am able to watch everything from the Master Emulator; thanks to its connection to the Infosphere, I don't need to go there anymore.
I renamed Master Emulator to "Anti-Infosphere.", I found it fitting.
I have decided to name myself "Humanoid Inaccessible Mascot."
I am humanoid.
I am inaccessible to anything while I am in MY realm, MY creation.
I am a mascot for all the Nobodys.
I am not God.
I am something far greater.
And until the day the light erases everything, I will continue to stay here and protect what made me discover myself.