The Alcur Hospital
Operative Report
Patient: [CENSORED DUE TO ALCUR'S PRIVACY RULE]
Gender: Male
Priority: Acute
MR Number: Δ-325839
Room Number: 98030 (Thaumagic Wing)
Admission Date: 13/05/2014 LT | 21/Δ/7777 DT
Operative Date: 13/05/2014 LT | 21/Δ/7777 DT
Triage
Admission: The patient was admitted through our Three Portlands clinic. He was accompanied by four males who wished to remain anonymous, but they identified themselves as fraternity brothers of the patient in Deer College. Personnel were informed by them that the patient was suffering from testicular torsion induced by thaumaturgy. No further explanation was provided.
Physician’s Analysis: "The patient is unable to walk due to his condition. His fraternity gave him a baby pacifier to bite down on to help suppress the pain. He probably would have grinded his teeth down to nothing without it. Furthermore, I can tell the patient and his friends have been drinking. There is a good chance what's happening here was caused by drunk spellcasting." ~ Dr. Phoe C. Chan
Hypothesis: A low-level curse was casted on the patient in a hazing ritual. The caster(s) likely forgot to add a release spell due to intoxication.
Prior Health:
- Physically active
- No pre-existing conditions
Symptoms of Ailment:
- Severe testicular pain
- Elevated testicles
- Discoloration
- Nausea
- Vomiting
Nursing Notes: Hypnosis was used on the patient to psychologically block the pain of their condition. The patient's consumption of alcohol prior to admission rendered opiod treatment as potentially hazardous.
Further Medical Analysis
As a human, the patient is likely to suffer from testicular loss if he is left untreated for more than 12 hours. However, we must be careful with how we proceed. Testicular torsion caused by thaumaturgy can persist after operation. For example, patients can have their entire existence cursed. Removing the testicles for new ones would not work unless the patient is comfortable without them. Therefore, we must focus on the curse itself before the physical body of the patient.
The curse is preventing the manual detorsion of the testicles. A low-level, sloppily applied curse would dissipate when met with any opposing force. The scrotum is not affected, which suggests the curse is anatomically precise. If the spell used mana we should find some specifically bound to the spermatic cords.
We'll have to perform surgery before the patient loses his fertility. His friends were smart enough to bring him here before he started to develop necrosis. It would have been more work. As a contigency we should grow emergency pair of testicles for the patient. It is a good idea to be prepared in case of a complication resulting in testicular loss. The forces of magic can sometimes be unpredictable.
~ Dr. Grignard
Severity: High
Virality: N/A
Lethality: High for the male ego.
Diagnosis: Thaumaturgic Testicular Torsion
Treatment
Treatment Type: Anti-Thaumaturgic Excision
Surgeon(s):
- Dr. Grignard
- Dr. Phoe C. Chan
Operations Performed:
- Etheric Resonance Imaging (ERI)
- Nälkän Organ Culture
- Orchiopexy
- Transplantion
Special Instruments Used:
- Anti-magic Scalpel
- Thaumic Dampener
Complications: Left testicle rapidly turned into dust from sudden disruption of flowing mana. The scalpel triggered a violent reaction that caused rapid deterioration. The thaumic dampener managed to prevent further complications.
Recording: Turned off in accordance with Alcur's privacy rule.
Findings of the Operation: The ERI confirmed the curse was concentrated on the spermatic cords. It persisted by looping mana from the patient's svadhisthana chakra.
Post Operation
Results: The operation was a success. Patient needed to recuperate his mana after the surgery. No potentially long-term effects on his fertility were observed after testing semen quality. Patient made a full recovery.
Aftercare: Patient was advised to avoid any activity that could cause testicular pain.
Doctors Note: "We were left with one unused testicle. It would have been wasteful to throw it away. Therefore, I asked Dr. Chan to keep it in storage for the next person suffering from a testicular ailment. We just need to modify it on the genetic level to prevent organ rejection, and illegitimate children by proxy.
"I hope the patient and his friends learned a valuable lesson. It could have been worse. If only we could preemptively cure stupidity. We really should look into that." ~ Dr. Grignard