TFW SCP :(



rating: +9+x



I am an SCP author.



Yes, thank you very much. You are absolutely correct.



It is, in fact, quite the achievement.



You see, not everyone can be part of such a refined writing community.



See that guy over there?



I´ll bet he's posting on Wattpad, I tell ya.



Oh, I know "authors" like this, you can see the pro-shipping scum dripping out of their pores, don't you?



Dis-GUS-ting!



We littérateurs on the SCP Wiki will not allow such figures on our site, no we don't. We have requirements, you know? Demands, standards, yes … very high standards indeed, my friend.



Have you seen our Ideas&Drafts forum? I ask you, where can you find such fine craftsmanship anywhere else?



No, I do not read AO3! What are you even thinking?!



Suggesting I would waste my precious time on such platforms!



The idea alone … preposterous!



I think you need to see for yourself, the master-pieces on our site!



You know people are calling us the next Dicks and Asimovs?



Like - like Philip K. Dick?







There are stories on this site - oh boy, they will go down in the history of literature!



Especially this one!







And?



What - what do you think?



Incredible writing, isn't it?







How about this one, then? See, it got over 1500 Plus-points!



One of the highest-ranking articles on the site, a classic!







Oh - oh that part's the best!



Always makes me laugh, ha ha …







Hm?



What - what do you mean?



Excuse me ..?



Con - Conservative?!



My friend, I must tell you that this is one of the MOST progressive writing communities anywhere on the web!



Conservative writing - I cannot believe how you can come to such a conclusion?



There is absolutely nothing conservative about a secret organization jailing anomalies in underground facilities to uphold an artificial status quo!



Nothing!



What - it's supposed to be subversive!



I bet you don't even know what subversive means, don't you?



Ah, I should've known … pearls before swines.



What?



No - no no no, that story got rewritten ages ago!



Here, see?!







Yes, I know, I know, it was quite bad, but -



Okay, I'm not sure why that one is still up here, but this is old SCP. You have to read the new ones!



No, not that one, that is obviously a joke article, can't you tell?



Yes - yes it is, see the -J on the title?



… the J stands for joke.



Like - like J in - in Joke … see?







But - but these are just articles no one reads anyway.



Amateurs - no idea how they even got into the wiki.



Must've slipped through the system, hehe …







What?



What do you mean, animation channels?



NO - no, they are not part of us! Those are just some clickbait youtubers, they are not authors!



How can you even believe …



Knockoff creepypasta??!!



NO?!



We are NOT "knockoff" creepypasta!



You - you know what?! Creepypasta is knockoff SCP!



"Jeff the Killer"? Ha - ha ha, that's - that is nothing compared to Bobbles The Clown!



Nothing!



(Is there a "Jeff the Killer" Skip?)



(Jesus Christ, please do not let there be a "Jeff the Killer" Skip …)







I fear you simply do not possess the intellectual maturity for us.



Maybe - you know, just go back to AO3 or wherever you came from.



Or go to RPC, I bet they will welcome you with open arms!



Yeah …



There he goes … idiot.



"Knockoff creepypasta" … the nerve!







But …



But what if







What - what if …



A creepypasta would come to life and murder everyone!



Oh ho hoh, oh boy oh boy!



*Heads off to write SCP-8012: "Scary-faced Skin-Eater Lives Inside My Grandma's Closet"*








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