TFW SCP :(
I am an SCP author.
Yes, thank you very much. You are absolutely correct.
It is, in fact, quite the achievement.
You see, not everyone can be part of such a refined writing community.
See that guy over there?
I´ll bet he's posting on Wattpad, I tell ya.
Oh, I know "authors" like this, you can see the pro-shipping scum dripping out of their pores, don't you?
Dis-GUS-ting!
We littérateurs on the SCP Wiki will not allow such figures on our site, no we don't. We have requirements, you know? Demands, standards, yes … very high standards indeed, my friend.
Have you seen our Ideas&Drafts forum? I ask you, where can you find such fine craftsmanship anywhere else?
No, I do not read AO3! What are you even thinking?!
Suggesting I would waste my precious time on such platforms!
The idea alone … preposterous!
I think you need to see for yourself, the master-pieces on our site!
You know people are calling us the next Dicks and Asimovs?
Like - like Philip K. Dick?
…
There are stories on this site - oh boy, they will go down in the history of literature!
Especially this one!
…
And?
What - what do you think?
Incredible writing, isn't it?
…
How about this one, then? See, it got over 1500 Plus-points!
One of the highest-ranking articles on the site, a classic!
…
Oh - oh that part's the best!
Always makes me laugh, ha ha …
…
Hm?
What - what do you mean?
Excuse me ..?
Con - Conservative?!
My friend, I must tell you that this is one of the MOST progressive writing communities anywhere on the web!
Conservative writing - I cannot believe how you can come to such a conclusion?
There is absolutely nothing conservative about a secret organization jailing anomalies in underground facilities to uphold an artificial status quo!
Nothing!
What - it's supposed to be subversive!
I bet you don't even know what subversive means, don't you?
Ah, I should've known … pearls before swines.
What?
No - no no no, that story got rewritten ages ago!
Here, see?!
…
Yes, I know, I know, it was quite bad, but -
Okay, I'm not sure why that one is still up here, but this is old SCP. You have to read the new ones!
No, not that one, that is obviously a joke article, can't you tell?
Yes - yes it is, see the -J on the title?
… the J stands for joke.
Like - like J in - in Joke … see?
…
But - but these are just articles no one reads anyway.
Amateurs - no idea how they even got into the wiki.
Must've slipped through the system, hehe …
…
What?
What do you mean, animation channels?
NO - no, they are not part of us! Those are just some clickbait youtubers, they are not authors!
How can you even believe …
Knockoff creepypasta??!!
NO?!
We are NOT "knockoff" creepypasta!
You - you know what?! Creepypasta is knockoff SCP!
"Jeff the Killer"? Ha - ha ha, that's - that is nothing compared to Bobbles The Clown!
Nothing!
(Is there a "Jeff the Killer" Skip?)
(Jesus Christ, please do not let there be a "Jeff the Killer" Skip …)
…
I fear you simply do not possess the intellectual maturity for us.
Maybe - you know, just go back to AO3 or wherever you came from.
Or go to RPC, I bet they will welcome you with open arms!
Yeah …
There he goes … idiot.
"Knockoff creepypasta" … the nerve!
…
But …
But what if …
…
What - what if …
A creepypasta would come to life and murder everyone!
Oh ho hoh, oh boy oh boy!
*Heads off to write SCP-8012: "Scary-faced Skin-Eater Lives Inside My Grandma's Closet"*
page revision: 16, last edited: 24 Nov 2022 03:43