rating: +418+x


by "Dr. Clef."

"Interview Clef-88 commences now. Dr. Gears, interviewer. Dr. Clef, interviewee."

"You know who you look like? John Malkovich. You've got the same head and everything, except where Malkovich has a great, expressive face, yours has no expression ever. It's honestly a bit creepy."

"Your sense of humor is as sharp as ever."

"You like that one? How about this one. So three guys are lost in the desert…"

"Please do not attempt to divert my attention. My time is limited."

"Mine isn't. I've spent the past three months lying on a hospital bed staring up at the ceiling. Not much new here. I spend a lot of time thinking, though."

"Would you like to leave that hospital bed?"

"… what do you mean?"

"Dr. Valdason is dead."

"… shit. What about the little girl?"

"Her fate is… undetermined at this time. Given the danger she possesses even while in a coma, termination may be necessary."

"Let me guess. You want me to finish the job?"

"Negative. If termination becomes necessary, another agent will be assigned that duty. However, my superiors asked me to investigate your background further, given recent events. Please take a look at this."

"I haven't seen that picture in a long time. I don't know what I was thinking with those sideburns."

"I have a proposition for you, Dr. Clef. There is an SCP on this facility that has been… problematic… as of late. Terminating it has proven to be difficult. If you will do us the favor of eliminating it, I am authorized to offer you twelve minutes of exposure to the Locket, which should be sufficient to heal your injuries. In addition, I will grant you Level 4 Clearance on all SCPs, and a permanent position with a support staff of up to six employees."

"I don't need a support staff. Maybe an assistant, but that's it."

"Then we have a deal?"

"Just one more thing."

"And that would be?"

"I want a nifty hat."

Audio Log recorded on ██-██-████, ████:██:██

Clef: Come in.

Dr. ████████: Hello…

Clef: Angela. What a surprise.

Dr. ████████: I heard you're the one who nearly killed the Witch Girl.

Clef: Nearly. Didn't get close enough.

Dr. ████████: You're the one who's going to take down 531?

Clef: If needs be, yes.

Dr. ████████: Good. Make him pay… make him pay for what he did to my Michael.

Clef: No.

Dr. ████████: Why not?

Clef: Because it's not about revenge. It's about doing what needs to be done. Besides, I'm not the one who cheated on Mike with some teenage kid.

Dr. ████████: That's not fair, it was…

Clef: Procedure, right? Never answer a request from the subject in a way that would cause a negative emotional reaction? Don't be ridiculous. You're a woman. You know ten thousand ways to say no without sounding like it.

Dr. ████████: … you misogynistic…

Clef: Go home. Be with your husband. Let off some of your misdirected anger and assuage some of your self-loathing by lying to yourself some more about having no choice. Maybe if you lie enough, it'll actually be true.

Dr. ████████: Fuck you. You fucking sanctimonious goddamn prick. [door opens and closes]

Clef: … yeah.





"Sorry about the leg."

"Sorry about the neck."


"If it's any consolation, you had it coming."

"I have to admit, I was a bit surprised by the way you broke it so easily. You've got a killer's hands, Konny."

"Shut up. Gears told me you asked for my help, so I'm here to help. What do you want?"

"I need the butterflies."

"Go talk to them yourself."

"They don't like me now that there aren't flowers growing out of my ass."

"I can fix that."

"Kondraki, I've just been asked to take down an extremely dangerous SCP with reality-bending powers. How I do that is up to you. I can do it alone in a way that wipes out the entire facility and probably half the city too, or you can help me and we can do it in a much more subtle fashion. How about it?"

"First take back what you said."

"What… oh, about her? Okay, I take it back."

"I don't believe you're sorry."

"Shit, man… is it that big a deal to you?"

"I broke your neck over it, remember?"

"Point taken."

From the Global Occult Coalition's Pamphlet, "Special Circumstances: Reality Benders."

Reality Benders (Type Greens) have a certain mystique among GOC operatives. They have been attributed a variety of powers, from immortality to mind control. Some operatives even argue that it is impossible to silence a Type Green, and it is suicide to even try.


The truth is, Reality Benders are human, and they have human flaws. Consider the following:

  • Reality Benders cannot predict the future and can be taken by surprise.
  • Reality Benders have limited range and cannot affect what they cannot perceive.
  • Reality Benders cannot impose their will on anything if they have no will to impose.
  • Reality Benders have human foibles and can be manipulated emotionally and/or rationally.

Note that this holds true for 95% of Type Greens. For the 5% that this does not apply to… well, you've got a slight problem.

"Take off your clothes."

"… all right."

"Wow, you're hot… damn, those are some nice tits."


"Don't be shy, baby… come here…"



<BAM!> "I'm sorry, am I interrupting anything?"

"What the … GET OUT!"

"Sorry, I don't think I've introduced myself yet… Dr. Clef. I'm taking over your case."

"What? As of when?"

"As of now. Get out, Becca, the kid and I need to talk. Oh, and here, take your panties, you might need them."

"No, no, no, SCREW that! YOU get out NOW!"



On ██-██-████ at ████:██:██, Subject 531's containment facility suffered minor structural damage.

"Got that out of your system?"

"What the hell…"

"Get going, Becca. Kiddo and I need to have a little chat."

"Yes, Doctor."

On ██-██-████ at ████:██:██, Dr. Rebecca Flanders left SCP-531's containment facility.

"<wolf whistle> Hot damn, that's a nice ass. You were really gonna hit that?"

"I hit it five times this week."

"Whew! Not bad… what does her fiance think about it?"


"Yeah, Becca's engaged to be married next month. Nice guy."

"… not my problem."

"Sure it isn't. Do you mind if I smoke?"

"Yes, I do, I hate it when people smoke!"

"Good." <sound of a Zippo lighting> "Hot damn, it's been way too long since I last had a Lucky Strike."

"<cough cough>"

"Oh, quit whining, it's just a little smoke." <sound of a chair scraping> "So, please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste…"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Guess you don't like the Stones… anyway. My name's Alto Clef, or at least, that's what they call me. I have a real name, but it's classified."


"Anyway, Clef's what they call me around here, but back when I used to work for the GOC, they called me 'Ukelele Man.'"

"That's a faggoty name…"

"I kinda liked it. Hey, mind if I turn on some music?"

"Go right ahead. There's some Nine Inch Nails in…"

"I said music, not noise." <sound of a CD player opening and a disc being tossed on the ground>

"HEY! Give that back! Damn it!" <sound of splashing liquid>

"Awww, now look what you made me do with my Diet Coke…"

"Give me that! Damn it, it's all wet now…"

"Trust me, you'll thank me later." <sound of a CD player closing. Music.>

"What the hell is this shit?"

"This shit, kiddo, is Elvis Presley, father of Rock and Roll. And you ain't nothin' but a hound dog. Anyway, back to me. Back when I was with the GOC, my job was terminating metahumans like you. People with powers that are beyond normal. My specialty was Type Greens, reality benders like you, people who can change reality by imposing their will on it. I've got ninety-nine confirmed kills."

"And I'm number one hundred?" <laughter>

"Maybe. Let's talk first."

"Sure, why not, let's talk."

From the Global Occult Coalition's Pamphlet, "Special Circumstances: Reality Benders."

Never talk to the target. Never look them in the eye. Never do anything that will allow yourself to humanize them. When the time comes to make the kill, you must be direct, forceful, and without mercy. Don't do anything that will make that harder.

"So, tell me about your mother, kiddo."

"My mom's dead."

"I know. You killed two thousand people telling us that."

"It wasn't my fault. I couldn't control it."

"So you say."


"Like I said… so you say." <sound of a cigarette being lit. More smoking.> "Tell me about her."

"She was great… never beat me up or nothin'. Didn't try and make me do anything I didn't want to, either. Best mom ever."

"Hmm. Sounds nice. What about your dad?"

"Don't even ask about that asshole… skipped out on mom and me when I was ten. Motherfucker."

"Want a cigarette?"

"I don't smoke… can you turn that fucking music down?"

"No. So, how did you feel when she died?"

"Fucked up, man, she was the only one whom I ever loved, the only one who ever loved me, you know."

"I see." <sound of a chair scraping against floor tiles> "Nice XBox."

"It's all right. I wish I had LIVE, though. Single player's not as fun."

"You like playing online?"

"Sure. Who doesn't like pwning n00bs? This one time on Halo 3, I took out three of them with one grenade, it was great."

"Sounds fun. Anyway, kiddo, like I was saying, reality benders like you are my specialty. There are a lot more than people think, but they all tend to follow the same pattern."

From the Global Occult Coalition's Pamphlet, "Special Circumstances: Reality Benders."

PHASE 1: Denial The subject refuses to acknowledge their Special Talent. The Type Green will attempt to rationalize away their abilities by various means. In some cases, the Type Green will end here: their ability will be self-suppressed, and they will not proceed. However, most then proceed to:

PHASE 2: Experimentation The subject acknowledges their abilities and begins to test the limits of their powers. In general, Type Greens tend to experiment in one of two patterns: slowly, methodically, and carefully, advancing a small amount at a time, or in a small number of sudden jumps. In any case, the subject will generally remain in this mode for some time, before proceeding to:


"So tell me about Michael Flaherty."

"Michael who?"

"Angela's husband. The one whom you aged into senility because you were jealous of his relationship with her."

"It wasn't my fault."

"So you say."

"It wasn't… I didn't mean to do it. I'll change him back, I swear."

"Angela's pretty broken up about it, you know."

"I'll bet."

"… is that all?"

"What? I said I'd fix it."

"So you say." <sound of another cigarette lighting>

"Seriously, could you stop that? It's giving me a headache, and my stomach feels all weird."


"Fuck you."

From the Global Occult Coalition's Pamphlet, "Special Circumstances: Reality Benders."

PHASE 3: Stability The subject reaches the limit of their powers, and determines the boundaries of their abilities. The Type Green achieves control over their reality shifts, and can manipulate them as necessary. More importantly, they can choose not to utilize their abilities, if needed.

Phase 3 is characterized by attempts to live a "normal" life. The subject will continue in normal routines, and aside from necessary precautions to prevent losing control, will utilize their abilities only in private, and only in a manner that will not harm others. These Type Greens may be classified as Threat Level 1 (monitor, do not engage), but should be monitored closely, due to the risk of proceeding to Phase 4.

"I'm going to just ask you one last question."


"How did you feel when you raped Angela Flaherty?"

"What? I never raped her!"

"Yes, you did."

"I didn't! She said yes!"

"She had no choice BUT to say yes! And you abused it, you forced her to…"


"She doesn't love you. How could anyone love you? You're a fucked up emo kid who abused his fucked up emo powers to make a bunch of women spread their legs for you against their will. You murdered a thousand people because you couldn't deal with your whore of a mom dying. You're a lousy, murdering, raping…"


<sound of breaking glass>

"What the hell… butterflies?"

"Sorry, kiddo. Game over."

<Explosive Decompression>

From the Global Occult Coalition's Pamphlet, "Special Circumstances: Reality Benders."

PHASE 4: The Child-God Sadly, the majority of Type Greens will end at Phase 4. During this phase, the reality bender becomes obsessed with the power it possesses and will attempt to utilize it for personal gain at the cost of others. This phase is marked by reduced empathy for other humans, inability to accept personal faults, and increased megalomania.

Although warning signs are numerous, the key aspect of a Phase 4 is the use of their abilities to manipulate other humans. Teenage and young adult Type Greens will typically use their abilities for sexual purposes, while children will attempt to make strangers their "friends." Older adults may attempt to manipulate others for love or financial gain. Although a few cases have resulted where the Type Green then reverts to Phase 3, 99% of them will remain at Phase 4 until eliminated. For this reason, Phase 4 Type Greens should be considered Threat Level 5 (Immediate Threat) and eliminated immediately.

Operation: Spoil the Rod

Proposal: SCP-120 is to be dialed to Location 9. The Entry Zone is to be converted to a temporary holding facility, made of thin glass. The structure will be air-tight, but designed to shatter and expose all contents to vacuum in the event of any violence. All personnel are to be evacuated to a radius of 2 miles from the Entry Zone for their own safety in the event that SCP-531 becomes violent.

Dr. Clef will engage SCP-531 and make an initial assessment under cover from SCP-408, while two members of Task Force Sigma 6 ("Puddlejumpers") relocate the calibrated SCP-120 to a location within SCP-531's quarters. Once in place, Dr. Clef will begin the operation by changing the music to Elvis Presley's "You Ain't Nothin' But a Hound Dog." The CD will have been previously altered with two subliminal tracks: the first, a recording of SCP-061 to render the subject susceptible to suggestion. The second, a command to fall asleep immediately, allowing personnel to transport SCP-531 and Dr. Clef to Location 9, through SCP-120.

Upon arriving at Location 9, Dr. Kondraki will continue, through SCP-408, to maintain the illusion that the subject is still in his quarters, while Dr. Clef continues his assessment. If Dr. Clef should determine that the subject must be terminated, he will indicate this by standing up and talking about the subject's XBox. This is SCP-408's cue to take over emulating Dr. Clef while said Dr. Clef proceeds out of the kill zone and to a safe distance. Once all personnel are outside the 2 mile kill zone, explosive charges will be detonated in the glass structure and expose SCP-531 to space, killing it. Should explosive decompression prove ineffective, snipers will be in position from a 2 mile distance to terminate SCP-531 by headshot.

Note that a successful termination of SCP-531 will result in the loss of a significant portion of the 408 swarm: 300 gallons of sugar water will be provided to the surviving members to encourage regrowth and as payment for its cooperation. In addition, it is recommended that Dr. Clef utilize some means of distraction in order to keep SCP-531 off-balance while the kill zone is being established.

APPROVED by O5-7 on ██-██-████

From the Global Occult Coalition's Pamphlet, "Special Circumstances: Reality Benders."

Any attempt to eliminate a Type Green must take into consideration the three factors for Dynamic Entry in close quarter battle.

Speed: Type Greens are able to quickly react to any threat. In order to ensure a successful kill, the operation must take no longer than one second from initiation of hostilities to termination of subject.

Surprise: Type Greens are able to quickly adapt to known threats. It is recommended that a bluff play be carried out: an overt threat is to be presented to the subject for them to fixate upon, while the actual kill is carried out from an unexpected direction.

Violence of Action: Any means of eliminating a Type Green must ensure a successful kill in one shot. Sniper weapons must utilize .50 caliber rounds, preferably hollow-point for maximum expansion, or armor-piercing, as needed. Firearms are, of course, a secondary kill choice: explosives are recommended, but may not be usable due to collateral damage risks.

"Interesting how life goes. Forty-eight hours ago, I was a quadriplegic. Now I'm drinking beer on the moon."

"Too right."

"To five-thirty-one: may he rest in pieces."


<sound of beers opening>

"Hey, Clef."


"So, now that we've both tried to kill each other, and then worked together to kill someone else, that kinda makes us buddies, right?"

"I guess. Why?"

"I'm wondering something… what are you, anyway?"


"I know you're ex-GOC, but no one can take down that many SCPs alone. No human. And you're almost immune to reality shifters yourself. So what are you?"

"… I'm actually one of them."

"… a reality shifter?"

"Yeah. I first found out about my powers when I blew up the Space Shuttle Challenger. All those people dead… just because some kid wondered what it would be like if the shuttle blew up."


"Yeah, after that I figured I should lock my powers away. I swore only to use it to stop other shifters, the ones who screw it up for the rest of us. The dangerous ones."

"That's intense, man."

"Yeah. So I joined the GOC and learned to use my powers to protect myself. I can stop any other reality shifter from using their powers on me, and I can even ride the wave of the change, kinda like a surfer. That's why 166 can't control me, and why 531 couldn't kill me earlier. I'm kind of the anti-reality shifter. An antibody against that disease."

"That's… really deep. Hang on… let me get something."


"A shovel to scoop up the bullshit you're feeding me."

"Hah! Touché! I think this might be the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

"Nah. But tell you what. If you don't shoot me in the leg again I promise not to break your neck any more."


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