Termination Log SCP-316
rating: +83+x

Surveillance Log x316███, Date █-██-█████-██-████
Location: SCP-316-D Containment Facility

Clef: So you're SCP-316?

316: I prefer to be called Dyne the Unfettered.

Clef: Dyne, huh? That short for anything?

316: No, just Dyne.

Clef: Cool. Well, I've been going over your file, and I have a few questions to ask you.

316: Please go ahead.


Clef: <laughter> Ain't that the truth. Anyway, this looks good. Looks like we won't have any problems.

316: Thank you very much doctor.

Clef: Call me up sometime, I'll buy you a beer.


Post-Incident Interview 316-Clef

Interviewer: When was it that you realized SCP-316's true nature?

Clef: It was when I was doing my rounds. I noticed that…

Interviewer: One moment. For the sake of posterity, please clarify what you mean by "your rounds."

Clef: Oh, right. Well, after the SCP-531-D incident, I was asked to take over evaluation of the other humanoid SCPs. I guess with my experience, the bosses figured I had a good nose for sniffing out humanoid Scips that needed to die… anyway, I figured that 316 was your average superhuman, when I realized something weird, walking out of that first interview.

Interviewer: And what was that?

Clef: I liked him.

Interviewer: Is that strange? SCP-316 is… was… a likeable guy.

Clef: I don't like ANYONE at first. Especially not Scips. Anyway, that raised my suspicions, so I studied his file a bit closer, and noticed something strange. He'd had favorable contacts with every problematic human SCP on file, from Able to Saint, all positive… even Able for crying out loud, and that sociopath REALLY doesn't like anyone.

Interviewer: It was then that you determined that you had been compromised.

Clef: Yes. But I needed proof too. I wasn't going to make the same mistake I did with SCP-239. So I decided to make a small test.

Interviewer: You mean the fencing match?

Clef: I mean the fencing match.


Surveillance Log xCLF███, Date █-██-█████-██-████
Location: Dr. Clef's Office

Kondraki: Hey, Clef, what's up?

Clef: Not much, Konny. How did the fencing match go?

Kondraki: Great! He kicked my fucking ass, but it was all good. I got one touch on him, that's all that counts.

Clef: Really. And Whaddya think about Dyne?

Kondraki: Awesome guy. We're gonna go again next week. Why the questions?

Clef: Just curious. Hey, I had a question for you about this year's personnel evaluations.

Kondraki: Sure.


Post-Incident Interview 316-Clef


Interviewer: And the significance of this was?

Clef: You know I fence too, right? Saber and Foil. I don't fence with Kondraki, though, because the last time I did, I beat him by one touch in a 15 point match. He took off his mask and threw it against the wall, and insisted on an immediate rematch. Draki's a really sore loser, and he'd just smilingly accepted a loss from a complete stranger.

Interviewer: That was when you decided to terminate SCP-316?

Clef: That was when. But I couldn't make the same mistakes I did with 239. I needed to do this subtly… not break in willy nilly and botch the job. That's why I recruited a bunch of relative unknowns instead of going to established and respected SCP Foundation personnel.


Text of Internal Corporate Email sent on ██-██-████

FROM: Dr. Clef
To: Dr. Gibbons; Assistant Director Iceberg; Agent "Catdrake"; Agent "Butler"; Dr. Palmer
Re: Personnel Evaluations

Please report to my office at the first available opportunity.

Dr. Clef

Post-Incident Interview 316-Clef

Interviewer: This was when you proceeded with Protocol Nineteen?

Clef: Correct.

Interviewer: Please explain Protocol Nineteen, for the record.

Clef: Protocol Nineteen is a method for terminating difficult subjects, especially those with protective psychic barriers. I was inspired by the method the Foundation used to retrieve SCP-668. In any case, it relies on a simple method: each individual carries out a single step in the termination sequence. Alone, each step is not dangerous or fatal to the target. However, when carried out in tandem, the effects are terminal.

Interviewer: And what sequence did you use to terminate 316?

Clef: I would rather not say.

Interviewer: Why not?

Clef: A good poker player never shows his hand. I may need this ace up my sleeve again at a later time.

Surveillance Log x316███, Date █-██-█████-██-████
Location: SCP-316-D Containment Facility

316: Did you really think that would work?

Clef: I was kind of hoping it would, yes.

316: Your betrayal hurts me. More, though, I am amused by the fact that you believed that you could even hope to best me in a sword fight.

Clef: On second thought, yeah, that was a bit silly of me, wasn't it?

316: I could kill you any time… but I think I'll do it slow. Watch you as I cut you apart piece by piece. Who knows? Maybe I'll even enjoy watching you fail.

Clef: I didn't fail…

316: … what?

Clef: This sword fight isn't meant to kill you. It's meant to distract you.

316: *laughs*

Post-Incident Interview 316-Clef

Interviewer: And this was when your backup attacked?

Clef: Yes.

Surveillance Log x316███, Date █-██-█████-██-████
Location: SCP-316-D Containment Facility

316: You fail again, Clef.

Clef: Damn.

316: Did you really think that I would not notice your cronies attempting to attack me from behind? Your cowardly tactic has completely failed to…

Clef: Shut up.


Post-Incident Interview 316-Clef

Interviewer: And that was when your hidden sniper took his shot?

Clef: Yes.

Interviewer: Can you please state his name, for the record?

Clef: Who says it was a he?

Surveillance Log x316███, Date █-██-█████-██-████
Location: SCP-316-D Containment Facility

316: … aaaaagh! My leg!

Clef: Hurts, don't it? Even that's going to take you some time to heal. And I don't plan to let you do that.

316: You sonovabitch! I'll kill…

Clef: Hit him again.

[more gunshots. screaming.]

Clef: You made a mistake, Dyne. You thought I only had one backup plan. The truth is, I came in here ready to terminate you any way I needed to. If it came down to it, Ice would press a little red button that would set off the on-site nuke. Any means necessary.

316: You asshole! You'll never get away with this! I'll heal any wounds! I'll come back from…

Clef: I don't think so. Gibbons, hand me the lobotomizer.

Gibbons: Here, boss.


316: AAAAAGH!!!!

Clef: Do you feel that, 316? That's the feeling of a railroad spike being driven into your skull by a pneumatic hammer. It's penetrated your frontal cortex and destroyed most of your higher brain functions.

316: … aaaaaaaaagha…

Clef: You're going to regenerate that wound. It's going to heal up around the spike. But that part of your brain is never gonna grow back. Neither is this part here… *SLAM*. That's your brain stem. That was supposed to control your motor coordination.

316: … ngggggggggggh…

Clef: Let's see… what else should we mess around with? How about the heart? *SLAM* And the spine *SLAM*. And, just because you pissed me off, here's one for your balls. *SLAM*

Post-Incident Interview 316-Clef

Interviewer: So. what is the current situation with SCP-316?

Clef: Terminated.

Interviewer: How so?

Clef: We threw what was left into a hidden compartment in NASA's Hermes space probe. In about a week or so, that probe is going to have a malfunction on the way to Jupiter and plunge into the sun.

Interviewer: And if he somehow manages to regenerate his lost functions even after that?

Clef: Who the fuck cares? How is he going to get out of the sun's gravity well? And if he wakes up on route and breaks out, he's going to be on a parabolic path straight into the sun anyway. Newton's third law: you need a reaction to get some action, and he doesn't have enough re-mass to break out of his suicide orbit.

Interviewer: I see. One quick question.

Clef: Shoot.

Interviewer: Is there any reason why you chose to personally lobotomize the subject using a railroad spike driver? It seems that the sniper could have done so from a distance.

Clef: Therapy.

Interviewer: Please explain.

Clef: I don't like being manipulated. I especially don't like having my head messed with. Doing the honors myself was good for my soul.

Interviewer: Remind me never to piss you off, Doctor.

Clef: Don't worry about that. If you do, you'll never know.


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