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Info
Semiannual Site-96 Safety Seminar by
AnotherSunnyDay (anothersunnydayy on Discord)
Recommended reading: SCP-8970, for context. You won't miss out on too much without reading it though.
Let's start with the basics. Slide one… "fun fact, in most cultures, guns are not traditionally used as coping mechanisms."
From: Site-96 Director Maya Massarone <ten.pics.69etis|enorassamm#ten.pics.69etis|enorassamm>
To: Rsr. Sunny Sato <ten.pics.69etis|otass#ten.pics.69etis|otass>, Rsr. Carolyn Campbell <ten.pics.69etis|llebpmacc#ten.pics.69etis|llebpmacc>, and 28 others
Subject: Mandatory Weapon Safety Seminar
Hello,
If you are receiving this email, you have been selected to attend a mandatory seminar about weapon safety. This may be for a number of reasons, including but not limited to:
- Being involved in misuse of Foundation-issued firearms
- Recent admission into an armed Mobile Task Force
- Involvement in, proximity to, or knowledge of SCP-8970 before its proper containment
- Confusion regarding weapon terminology, such as "loaded"
This seminar is part of a Foundation-wide effort to reduce accidents and liability. We will be conducting these semiannually from now on.
Location: Site-96 Briefing Room D
Date & Time: July 6th, 2025, 13:00 hours
Attendance: Mandatory
Presenter: Researcher Sunny Sato
Seminar Design: Researcher Carolyn Campbell
Please be on time.
Sincerely,
Maya Massarone
Director, Site-96
<BEGIN TRANSCRIPT>
Senior Researcher Dr. Andrew Jacobs walks up on the stage. In the auditorium of Briefing Room D, twenty-eight people sit in attendance.
Jacobs: Alright, everyone. Welcome to our semiannual weapons safety seminar. I'm sure you understand what this is for, so let's get started. The sooner we start, the better. I would like to bring our speakers up on the stage, researchers Carolyn Campbell and Sunny Sato.
Researcher Campbell rises from her seat and walks onto the stage. Dr. Jacobs looks around in confusion.
Jacobs: (whispering) Is Sato here?
Researcher Sato walks through the door of the briefing room and onto the stage.
Sato: Okay, let's get started.
Campbell turns on a screen within the room, displaying a presentation.
Jacobs: Researcher Sato, you ar—
Sato: Let's start with the basics. Slide one… "fun fact, in most cultures, guns are not traditionally used as coping mechanisms."
Campbell and some other personnel in attendance snicker.
Sato: Anyway… four main rules of gun safety. One, treat every firearm as if it was loaded. Two, never point a weapon at anything you're not prepared to shoot.
Jr. Rsr. Avery Harrell raises his hand.
Sato: Nope. Put it down.
Harrell: I just wanted to ask—
Sato: Questions at the end, please. And, no, I did not point it at you. Ahem… three, keep your finger off the trigger 'till you're ready to shoot. And four, be sure of your target and what's behind it.
Campbell switches to the next slide.
Sato: What counts as a firearm? A firearm is a weapon that uses explosive force to expel a projectile. This includes handguns, rifles, shotguns, et cetera. All Foundation-issued firearms are in fact, real. I shouldn't have to be saying that. And even if you are not holding a real firearm, please refrain from pointing them at any personnel. Talking to you.
Sato points at a member of the audience. They scoff. Campbell switches to the next slide.
Sato: Okay… notable mistakes made this year include… chamber-checking a weapon while the barrel is pointed at yourself. Keeping a loaded gun in your pocket without the safety on. Not knowing what the word "loaded" means when referring to a firearm.
Sato glares at Harrell.
Sato: And… holding a loaded firearm without the safety on while receiving relationship advice.
The crowd begins to laugh.
Campbell: You know, he did send the text though.1 Got some value out of it.
Sato: He also shot me. With my own gun.
Harrell: Technically, it was your fault.
Jacobs: Can we stay on track, please? Thank you.
Campbell clicks to the next slide. It simply contains the word "DON'T" in very large font.
Sato: Let's talk about what not to do.
Jacobs hands Sato a box containing SCP-8970.
Sato: This is SCP-8970, my gun. It is… ugh, do I have to say this?
Jacobs: Yes.
Sato: It is not a therapy tool or team-building exercise. In fact, no firearm is. So you should never hold them in the break room, or nearly any room, when they are ready to fire, unless you have a genuine reason to.
Campbell: Please note that getting mad over someone in the break room using the microwave is not a genuine reason.
Sato: Whatever. Who wants to be part of our demonstration?
Multiple personnel raise their hands. Junior Researcher Harrell is not one of them.
Sato: Alright, Avery, come up here.
Harrell: What? I didn—
Sato: Yeah you did. Hurry up.
Harrell hesitantly walks onto the stage. Sato hands him SCP-8970.
Sato: Don't worry, it's got no bullets, probably. You won't shoot me in the shoulder this time. Now, clear the chamber.
Harrell fumbles with the sidearm and attempts to rack the slide. It slips out of his hand and clatters to the floor. Dr. Jacobs audibly sighs.
Sato: Ooh, lovely. That's the sound of six different incident forms being filled out. First of all, you're supposed to take out the magazine. Second of all, you're not supposed to drop the gun. Third of all, get off the stage.
Harrell walks back to his seat as Sato retrieves SCP-8970 from the floor.
Sato: Next slide, let's get into how to care for your firearms. The first thi—
The fire alarm within the briefing room begins to sound as a voice over the intercom repeats that "This is not a drill."
Jacobs: This is not scheduled.
Sato: Perfect! C'mon, Carrie.
Sato retrieves a magazine from her pocket and reloads SCP-8970.
Campbell: What are we doing?
Sato: Leaving.
Jacobs: Researcher Sato, this is not a containment breach! And you are not authorized to respond to fires nor breaches!
Sato: Oh, I'm not! I'm just… exiting the building. Like we're supposed to in case of fire.
Researchers Sato and Campbell hastily exit the room, and the rest of the seated personnel begin to rise.
Jacobs: What? Do you think this is some kind of middle school? Sit down! The sprinklers will probably handle it.
Intercom: The fire is large and rapidly spreading. Please exit the building. This is not a drill.
The personnel shuffle out of the room as Jacobs attempts to speak.
Jacobs: Hey, remember you've still got to come to the follow up seminar! We didn't finish up here! You— oh, whatever.
Dr. Jacobs follows the crowd and walks out of the room.
<END TRANSCRIPT>