SPC-CN-985: FIST CONTACT

You may halfheartedly ask why we simply don't destroy their universe with the tools at our disposal. You already know the answer. Punching a dead shark just isn't the same.

SPC-CN-985: FIST CONTACT
Author: LORDXVNVLORDXVNV
Published on 06 Sep 2021 16:21
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rating: +16+x

What this is

A bunch of miscellaneous CSS 'improvements' that I, CroquemboucheCroquembouche, use on a bunch of pages because I think it makes them easier to deal with.

The changes this component makes are bunch of really trivial modifications to ease the writing experience and to make documenting components/themes a bit easier (which I do a lot). It doesn't change anything about the page visually for the reader — the changes are for the writer.

I wouldn't expect translations of articles that use this component to also use this component, unless the translator likes it and would want to use it anyway.

This component probably won't conflict with other components or themes, and even if it does, it probably won't matter too much.

Usage

On any wiki:

[[include :scp-wiki:component:croqstyle]]

This component is designed to be used on other components. When using on another component, be sure to add this inside the component's [[iftags]] block, so that users of your component are not forced into also using Croqstyle.

Related components

Other personal styling components (which change just a couple things):

Personal styling themes (which are visual overhauls):

CSS changes

Reasonably-sized footnotes

Stops footnotes from being a million miles wide, so that you can actually read them.

.hovertip { max-width: 400px; }

Monospace edit/code

Makes the edit textbox monospace, and also changes all monospace text to Fira Code, the obviously superior monospace font.

@import url('https://fonts.googleapis.com/css2?family=Fira+Code:wght@400;700&display=swap');
 
:root { --mono-font: "Fira Code", Cousine, monospace; }
#edit-page-textarea, .code pre, .code p, .code, tt, .page-source { font-family: var(--mono-font); }
.code pre * { white-space: pre; }
.code *, .pre * { font-feature-settings: unset; }

Teletype backgrounds

Adds a light grey background to <tt> elements ({{text}}), so code snippets stand out more.

tt {
  background-color: var(--swatch-something-bhl-idk-will-fix-later, #f4f4f4);
  font-size: 85%;
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}

No more bigfaces

Stops big pictures from appearing when you hover over someone's avatar image, because they're stupid and really annoying and you can just click on them if you want to see the big version.

.avatar-hover { display: none !important; }

Breaky breaky

Any text inside a div with class nobreak has line-wrapping happen between every letter.

.nobreak { word-break: break-all; }

Code colours

Add my terminal's code colours as variables. Maybe I'll change this to a more common terminal theme like Monokai or something at some point, but for now it's just my personal theme, which is derived from Tomorrow Night Eighties.

Also, adding the .terminal class to a fake code block as [[div class="code terminal"]] gives it a sort of pseudo-terminal look with a dark background. Doesn't work with [[code]], because Wikidot inserts a bunch of syntax highlighting that you can't change yourself without a bunch of CSS. Use it for non-[[code]] code snippets only.

Quick tool to colourise a 'standard' Wikidot component usage example with the above vars: link

:root {
  --c-bg: #393939;
  --c-syntax: #e0e0e0;
  --c-comment: #999999;
  --c-error: #f2777a;
  --c-value: #f99157;
  --c-symbol: #ffcc66;
  --c-string: #99cc99;
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}
 
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}

Debug mode

Draw lines around anything inside .debug-mode. The colour of the lines is red but defers to CSS variable --debug-colour.

You can also add div.debug-info.over and div.debug-info.under inside an element to annotate the debug boxes — though you'll need to make sure to leave enough vertical space that the annotation doesn't overlap the thing above or below it.

…like this!

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}
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rating: +16+x

NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE


This target is currently UNAVAILABLE. This document is retained for Archival purposes until MIRROR FORCE induce a significant political, noospheric, theological, or ontological change within Universe Шaルχ. Please return to the Selectable Pugilism Casualty list to browse other potential assignments.
—Dr. August Solstice, Boxercrat, CICAPOCO


SELECTED PUGILISM CASUALTY: SPC-CN-985 CODENAME: HOSPITAL MIRROR LIME

SPECIES


Sapient Selachian Entity. Ginglymostoma cirratum


POWERS


Medium-fine telekinesis1 (estimated 100-150 N, 0.5-1 m). Fluency in Universe-Шaルχ Jianese and English. Level of Universe-Шaルχ Cipanguese fluency unknown. Human-level vision.


CONSIDERATIONS


nurseshark.png

Image phished from SCP Foundation's network by Cyberhook Wei.

Metadata attached: "David — Here's that picture I took of you. Some people online thought this "anime edit" would be funny – I don't really get it but maybe you would. I've put in a good word for you with Director Light. -Iris."

Telepugilist Thompson has volunteered to develop and lead a Centre orientation: "So Your Mirror Universe Self is a Shark-Lover," and would also like you all to know she was disheartened to learn that her abilities do not extend to photos taken by alternate universe selves.

HOSPITAL MIRROR LIME currently resides in Mirror Universe Шaルχ2. It goes by the name "David" or "大伟", though agents are reminded not to humanize selachian entities. It is currently under the custody or employ of an extremely hostile Group of Finterest known as the "Selachian and Cetacean Protection Foundation" (abbrv. SCP Foundation), believed to be a Mirror Variation of the Centre. The SCP Foundation has been designated THREAT GOBLIN MIDNIGHT BLACK ONYX BLOOD ABYSS MIRROR.

The SCP Foundation is believed to be headquartered in Universe Шaルχ's equivalent of the Jianese Federation, named the "People's Republic of China." (Jianese names were not translated, as colloquial terms for both countries translate literally to "Middle Kingdom".) It is unknown how many Selachian Entities are currently under the protection of the SCP Foundation. The military power of the SCP Foundation appear to be on par with that of the Centre, but far inferior in pugnatorial capabilities, Selachian or otherwise.

Centre strategists have determined that the primary obstacle to pugilism will be infiltration and getting into fist range, as opposed to fist application. Any further pugilism attempts on HOSPITAL MIRROR LIME or other entities under the protection of the Selachian and Cetacean Protection Foundation will likely be met with organized military resistance. Methods of stealthier pugnatorial creeping are currently being think-tanked.

Mirror Universe Шaルχ was discovered by Marine Fighting Teams (MFTs) assigned to SPC-507 during routine extrauniversal pursuit of PRISM NETHER Deviant Selachian Entities. The discovery of the employment circumstances of HOSPITAL MIRROR LIME necessitated the creation of a specialized task force to determine the nature of the threat.


Solicited Pugilism Chronicle:


Specific Project Components:


TURNABOUT OUTLANDER:


TURNABOUT OUTLANDER is the synthesis of two disparate Centre techniques: the Tyson Ontic Pugnator and Operation Turnaround.

The Tyson Ontic Pugnator is a first-gen multiuniversal transport engine that uses pugilistic energy to punch holes between dimensions. The Centre has used the TOP in the past to explore alternate dimensions with fully-crewed exploration vehicles.

Operation Turnaround allows individual agents to punch a selachian entity so hard that spacetime itself yields, sending the shark wherever one desires. However, in the past, this technique has been used solely to punch selachian entities at non-selachian enemies of the Centre

TURNABOUT OUTLANDER is an innovation that extends the reach of every Centre pugnator's fists across the multiverse.

By performing Operation Turnaround in the stabilization field of Tyson Ontic Pugnators, metastable dimensional gates can be created. These metastable gates can be reopened to consistent destinations with additional pugilations of selachians. This grants Centre stealth pugilords highly secure targeted dimensional tunnels, so long as interdimensional coordinates are known.

Gates of this nature are colloquially known by the Serpent's Hand as "Ways". However, few outsiders to the Centre carry the necessary equipment (e.g. Selachian entities and Operation Turnaround) to "knock" (i.e. punch a shark) on these "Ways."


The initial Marine Fighting Team deployed for first contact with HOSPITAL MIRROR LIME consisted of:

Aquaschlager Haitun: naturally capable of subaquatic pugilism. Fluent in Jianese, English, and Dalphin3

Pugilord Zhang: Has mastered Operation Turnaround beyond most pugilists. Even the slightest of blows can send a shark flying through hyperspace. Fluent in Jianese and English. Conversational in Dalphin.

Cyberhook Wei: Master of cyberhooking, the art of hitting a computer until it does exactly what you want. Fluent in Jianese and English. Conversational in Dalphin.

Deployment Record:

The following record has been localized from Jianese/"Chinese", except where otherwise stated.

Via TURNABOUT OUTLANDER, a metastable dimensional gate is opened to THREAT GOBLIN MIDNIGHT BLACK ONYX BLOOD ABYSS MIRROR.

They arrive directly in the personal room of HOSPITAL MIRROR LIME. The portal opens directly across from a locked door, next to which is a control panel.

A small selachian entity, the projectile used to perform Operation Turnaround, flops on the ground close to the locked door.

As predicted by initial interdimensional surveys, the left side of the room is occupied by a large fish tank, in which HOSPITAL MIRROR LIME swims. The tank is furnished with water planets and corals. Notably, there is a computer terminal in the far corner of the tank, closest to the exit door.

There is an unattended laptop on a desk on the right side of the room, displaying a lock screen. There is minimal space that is not the fish tank.

Pugilord Zhang: Dimensional pugnition successful. Taking point.

Pugilord Zhang approaches the flopping projectile selachian entity and starts punching it.

Cyberhook Wei: I'm going to access the laptop. I doubt the squaliforme's computer will have anything of note.

Cyberhook Wei starts smacking the keyboard. It is loud.

Aquaschlager Haitun: I have eyes on the target. Preparing infiltration.

Aquaschlager Haitun prepares to punch a hole about a meter from the top of HOSPITAL MIRROR LIME's containment tank. She is seen by HOSPITAL MIRROR LIME, which swims close to the glass of the tank.

HOSPITAL MIRROR LIME: Wow! I didn't know the SCP Foundation also had cetacean agents!

The Selected Pugilism Casualty's voice is clearly audible, despite being in a tank of water. The selachian entity's emotion, if such beasts can be said to have true emotions and not just mimicries of emotions designed to elicit sympathies from the unwitting, appears to be excitement.

Aquaschlager Haitun is about to punch a hole near the top of the tank, but the selachian entity gestures towards a ladder hatch and access hatch with its pectoral fin. Haitun jumpswims into the tank, coming beak-to-snout with the selachian. HOSPITAL MIRROR LIME does not seem disturbed by this behavior.

HOSPITAL MIRROR LIME: Are you going to join the Alpha Nine Aquatic initiative too? We need a team name, how about Pisces Ten? It's thematic! Oh wow! I didn't realize I wasn't alone!

Aquaschlager Haitun: (translated from the Cetacean click language Dalphin) Target is attempting communication. Switching on earplugs now to avoid memetic hazard.

HOSPITAL MIRROR LIME: Are you from a world where dolphins talk and have cities? What is the water like there? What kind of job do you have?

The Selected Pugilism Casualty continues asking questions as Aquaschlager Haitun approaches it, fist raised. HOSPITAL MIRROR LIME swims backward, flailing its flippers, as Aquaschlager Haitun swings.

HOSPITAL MIRROR LIME: Idiot! Stop, older person!4 Don't punch me!

Aquaschalger Haitun attempts to boop the selachian in the snout. However, her fist suddenly meets an invisible barrier. HOSPITAL MIRROR LIME does a loop-de-loop in the water; Aquaschlager Haitun is slammed against the glass wall of the tank, before being slammed against the floor, then against the wall again.

Aquaschlager Haitun: (screaming in Dalphin) I'm getting resistance!

Pugilord Zhang: Incoming – going to perform a TURNABOUT OUTLANDER exfil!

Pugilord Zhang dives in. He attempts to relocate HOSPITAL MIRROR LIME to Baseline by performing Operation Turnaround, but is unable to do so.5 He then realizes that he is in a tank of water with an angry and panicking Deviant selachian entity, and swims back out.

HOSPITAL MIRROR LIME swims to its desk, opens it, and brandishes a knife. It is unclear what material this knife is made of, as it does not appear to be rusty. It telekinetically holds this knife behind it while it frantically starts messing with its underwater computer.

Aquaschlager Haitun: (in Dalphin) Oh shit, it has a knife!

HOSPITAL MIRROR LIME: Iris – please, anyone – pick up! I should've asked for my participation in Project Resurrection to be fast-tracked!

The selachian does something cyber. A red light starts flashing in the room. A loud siren starts playing.

Pugilord Zhang: Wei, how's your progress?

Cyberhook Wei: (Hitting the laptop screen now) Almost got all the files on this one. A few more minutes, and I should have info on all the squaloids in this universe.

Pugilord Zhang: Don't forget we need info on their version of the Centre. This "Foundation."

Cyberhook Wei: I'm not an idiot.

For good luck, Wei punches the computer.

The door slides open. A researcher, pistol raised, enters.

SCP Researcher: Dawei! What's wrong?

The researcher takes a moment to look around. He seems taken aback at what's going on. He points his gun at Pugilord Zhang, who is still pummeling the floor selachian. Pugilord Zhang stops, raising his hands above his head and taking a few steps back to stand near Cyberhook Wei.

The researcher then points the gun at Cyberhook Wei, who is still phishing for files in the laptop.

Then he sees Aquaschlager Haitun. He does a double take.

SCP Researcher: Holy fuck is that a dolphin with hands?

Aquaschlager Haitun: (In Dalphin) Is that a stupid human who need a gun to look humanly?

Pugilord Zhang: Be nice, Haitun.

Aquaschlager Haitun: (In Dalphin) He's pointing a gun at you!

Pugilord Zhang: That's why you should be nice!

SCP Researcher: Are you… talking to the dolphin?

Nobody answers him. The researcher's eyes drift between the three of them.

SCP Researcher: Alright, you seem like reasonable… individuals, so why don't you over there, leave Dawei's tank, and you—leave the computer alone. Who are you with? Sea aye6? Hand? Wilson's?

Cyberhook Wei: (Barely looking up from her cyberhooking) Not Hand.

Pugilord Zhang: But Fist!

Pugilord Zhang brandishes the GLORIOUS BEACON, which is a clenched fist. The doctor seems bewildered, or possibly horrified by the symbolism.

Aquaschlager Haitun takes the opportunity to extract herself from the Selachian's tank, positioning herself between Cyberhook Wei and the researcher with the gun, who seems distracted by something. He keeps looking back between the GLORIOUS BEACON and the distressed Selachian Entity.

SCP Researcher: I'm going to regret asking this, but… why exactly are you in this room?

Pugilord Zhang: Because a selachian is here.

Aquaschlager Haitun: And no selachian can go unpummeled.

The researcher takes a deep breath, and lets it out very, very slowly.

SCP Researcher: You're real?

Nobody answers him, as this is clearly a rhetorical question. The researcher's shoulders slump. He presses a button on a panel besides the door, activating the intercom.

SCP Researcher: Yes, I'd like to request backup to take in three hostile… humanoids. Affiliated with… with…

The researcher steels himself. He glares at Haitun, Zhang, and Wei with hate.

SCP Researcher: …the "Shark Punching Center [sic]." Possibly anomalous—what do you mean, there's a breach? Yes, I know, I'm in Room CN-985, that's why I'm— …oh.

The researcher presses another button on the panel. The door seals shut. Several locking noises are heard.

SCP Researcher: I'm afraid we're all stuck here together. A few very nasty things have escaped containment. You picked an absolutely terrible time for… your habitual animal cruelty.

He doesn't understand. It's not animal cruelty. It's the way things must be.

Pugilord Zhang: There are three of us and one of you. How are you going to—

HOSPITAL MIRROR LIME: Two of us.

Suddenly, HOSPITAL MIRROR LIME flings itself out of its tank, presumably because it is a selachian with unknowable motives7. It staggers towards the MFT, but it is clearly struggling to breathe.

SCP Researcher: Dawei – SCP-CN-985, get back in your tank! There's a breach going on!

HOSPITAL MIRROR LIME: I… must… prove… myself…

SCP Researcher: We've tested this. You can't breathe outside of water.

Aquaschlager Haitun: Wei, how are we on the cyber?

Cyberhook Wei: All copied.

SCP Researcher: Hey, wait, you were actually doing something with the computer?

Cyberhook Wei: Sir, I am a cyberhook.

SCP Researcher: I have no clue what that means.

HOSPITAL MIRROR LIME staggers closer to the MFT.

HOSPITAL MIRROR LIME: I will be an agent… of the… Foundation!

SCP Researcher:(sounding desperate) Dawei, you don't have anything to prove! Your test scores were top of the class!

HOSPITAL MIRROR LIME ignores the orders, because it is a selachian entity and cannot be reliably commanded. It hurls itself at Cyberhook Wei, but collapses on the ground.

There is a brief pause.

Nobody moves.

The only sound is that of rasping air passing over drying gills.

The selachian's movements begin to slow.

Tears are in the researcher's eyes.

SCP Researcher: (whispered) Please.

Aquaschlager Haitun grabs HOSPITAL MIRROR LIME and gracefully jumps it back into the tank.

HOSPITAL MIRROR LIME gazes at her with soft, shimmering eyes.

Aquaschlager Haitun gazes back.

The selachian entity extends its fins forward.

HOSPITAL MIRROR LIME: Why… why did you…

Aquaschlager Haitun meets its eyes, inscrutable. There is a brief, tense pause.

Aquaschlager Haitun's limbs raise tentatively. Pugilord Zhang and Cyberhook Wei are banging on the glass, begging her not to forget her purpose, to reconsider.

Aquaschlager Haitun doesn't seem to hear them.

Her beak touches its snout.

It seems that she is lost.

She raises her fist.

Aquaschlager Haitun: So I can do this.

Aquaschlager Haitun punches it.

HOSPITAL MIRROR LIME: Kyaaaaaa! You're a tsundere! I knew it!

SCP Researcher: I knew giving you anime was a mistake.

Aquaschlager Haitun tries to punch him again, but this time HOSPITAL MIRROR LIME is prepared, and parries her.

Aquaschlager Haitun tactically retreats from the tank. The alarm is still blaring.

SCP researcher: (gun raised) Don't move. There's no way out. Once this breach is clear, you're going into custody and answering for your wanton animal cruelty.

Pugilord Zhang: Performing TURNABOUT OUTLANDER exfil.

Pugilord Zhang pulls out a miniature selachian entity8 and punches it hard enough to reopen the metastable dimensional aperture. Exfiltration goes without incident. Mission completes, a success on all accounts.


Subset of Pertinent Communications:

Stolen Personnel Communiques:

Dr. Light,

I had a chance to speak with SCP-CN-985, as we discussed. With all due respect, I still don't know why it had to be me, though I appreciate the opportunity to visit China, even if it was with armed guards.

Dawei—or David, as he asked me to call him, was a very intelligent and eager young man—or should I say shark? I know next to no Chinese, but his English was practically fluent, so we didn't need the translators. He told me that because the "Selachian and Cetacean Protection Foundation" had a worldwide reach, he believed that learning English was a good way to expand his horizons and his viability as future agent.

He seemed to have some idea of what the team was before I came in, and started comparing it to some anime called "My Hero Academia?" (I had no idea what he was talking about. It something like the Dark Knight or Iron Man?) Either way, he seemed overly excited to join – maybe a bit too excited. I don't think he has a great idea of what we're doing when it comes down to boots on the ground.

As for his capabilities, it's as you expected. He's a shark with human-level intelligence and telekinetic dexterity on par with human hands. He says he's been training in hand-to-hand combat, but there hasn't been any way for him to prove himself. He didn't seem able to reach through the glass, but I don't know if that's a self-imposed limitation or a true one.

Overall, I'd say he's a bit weaker than me. For his own safety, I'd recommend putting him in a researcher role rather than Alpha-9, unless we manage to pull together enough aquatic SCPs for another task force. He's quite eager, but until he has a chance to prove himself, he would be a liability in the field.

Cordially,

Iris Thompson9

Alpha-9 ("Last Hope")

Secure. Contain. Protect.

Personnel note: Director Iris Thompson, PhD, Telepugilist.

That [CENSORED][CENSORED]! I have dedicated the past six [CENSORED] years of my life to the glory of the Centre! I have punched every [CENSORED] selachian on this [CENSORED] planet and taken pictures of every square [CENSORED] inch of the [CENSORED] ocean! My fingers have almost gotten bitten off by Sharkic ichormages fifty [CENSORED] times! And this [CENSORED][CENSORED][CENSORED] dares to PRAISE a shark?!? I swear to Cod I'm going to punch a [CENSORED] camera shark into their [CENSORED] universe. I'm going to punch every [CENSORED] shark there with my own bare hands, and then punch that [CENSORED][CENSORED][CENSORED] in her [CENSORED] shark-loving [CENSORED] mouth my-[CENSORED]-self!

[CENSORED][CENSORED][CENSORED].

Director Thompson's proposal is under consideration has been denied until MIRROR FORCE has verified Mirror Universe Шaルχ's suitability for further direct action, but her vehemence is noted. She has also been asked to remember that sometimes, children read these files, and to use "selachian entity" whenever possible.


Excerpt from the SCP Foundation's files on HOSPITAL MIRROR LIME:

Interrogation results suggest the society described by SCP-CN-98510 is highly consistent with human society in southeastern coastal China. It is currently unknown how its species evolved to this level, and how its civilization has not yet been discovered by outsiders. Personnel have been dispatched to investigate the situation described in the project.

The Centre believes this may indicate the existence of another MIRROR universe populated entirely with selachian entities. Research into this is ongoing.

FROM THE DESK OF ORACLE


Honorable fighters,

If there is a world out there inhabited solely by selachians without any pugilists, it is our duty to right that cosmic wrong. Our world may be a tortured and twisted place, but we fight against the sharkness. Though we are victims of the Mistaken Beast, our fists must fall upon all sharks, no matter where they dwell.

For the only world worse than one where sharks must be punched… is one where they are never being punched. And never will be.

With my full authority, I am authorizing the creation of MIRROR FORCE. The multiverse is infested with Selachian Entities, and those who have not yet realized that they must be punched. The Mistaken Beast may be the great curse of our world, but we cannot fight our purpose. We cannot fight our natures.

We can only fight the sharks. In whatever universe they might be.

And we will teach the multiverse to punch with us.

—Grand Master Joseph Marlin, Artist and Workers' Collective of Yerevan, O-13

All Selachians. All Periods. All Cosmos.

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