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Info
SPC-720: Mom, I Frowed Up
Author:TheMightyMcB
More By This Author:Special thanks to:
DrBleep,
Naepic, and anyone else who may have read this 4 years ago that I can't remember (please message me if that's you)!
Item #: SPC-720
Object Class: TK/O'd
Selachian Pugilization Contingencies: SPC-720 is currently being displayed in the office of Senior Pugilist Chauncy MacGreaves as a reminder of his pugilistic prowess. In the wake of recent events, Junior Pugilists are no longer permitted access to SPC-720. All emissions are to be confiscated and disposed of turned over to Senior Pugilist MacGreaves.
Description: SPC-720 is an adult male Bull-Class Selachian Entity1 that is believed to have a spacial anomaly in lieu of a gastrointestinal system. When pugilized in the abdominal region, SPC-720 will typically forcefully expel an item from its mouth. The nature of these items are highly variable2, and prior to recent events, acquisition of an emission was considered an informal rite of passage for all prospective Junior Pugilists.
Addendum 720-1: Abridged log of SPC-720 emissions.
| Junior Pugilist | Emission | Other Information |
| Francis Willikard | Arkansas License Plate # 639 KDH | Instance was found mounted inside of Junior Pugilist Willikard's storage locker. |
| Derek Adams | Pearl Masterworks Nine Piece Drum Kit | Adams was found in the Center break room playing a drum solo that has been going on for long enough to make everyone wish the next song would start. |
| Brian Abernathy | Sony FDR-AX53 Video Camera | Turned in to Senior Pugilist MacGreaves by Junior Pugilist Abernathy. The SD card on the camera contained 53 minutes and 12 seconds of selachian coitus. Junior Pugilist Abernathy requested formal amnesia induction treatment, which was denied on account of the Shark Punching Center's recently terminated contract with Louisville Slugger. |
| Steven O'Brien | Firestone Destination A/T 33x12.50 Tire | Instance was found next to an unconscious Junior Pugilist O'Brien. O'Brien has since been dismissed from the Shark Punching Center for being K/O'd by a selachian that had already been defeated. |
| Thomas DuBois | Roost-and-Root Walk-In Chicken Coop | Found locked, containing eight hens, a rooster, and Junior Pugilist DuBois. |
| Jacob Woodard | A complete and polished set of plate armor, circa 1500 | Junior Pugilist Woodard has requested to keep the armor, which was denied on the account that we'll look like damn cowards and we aren't damn cowards. |
| Taylor Barber | RDS-220 Hydrogen Bomb | The next person to touch this fucking shark is getting whatever it barfs up next shoved up their ass. |
Addendum 720-2: Further Study
Following SCP-720's emission of an RDS-220 Hydrogen Bomb, Shark Punching Center eggheads performed a very fucking lame vivisection of the selachian. Internally, SPC-720 was not found to be different from a non-anomalous member of its species. SPC-720 is currently pending reclassification to "Explained".
Addendum 720-3: Cowabunga Committee Mandate
Per a unanimous decision by the Cowabunga Committee, reclassification to "Explained" was denied. In the interest of continued selachian ass-kickin', a reclassification to "Pulverized" is currently ongoing.