NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE
SPC-6985 is currently ON HIATUS due to issues in handling certain component properties. Until said issues are resolved, all Project Components are to be housed in separate storage units and regularly transferred to different designated locations every 3 weeks.
Any SPC-6985 components discovered in the field are to be ignored unless doing so impedes on the Centre's mission.
Project #: SPC-6985
Selachian Pugnātorial Capabilities: Due to SPC-6985's selachian repellant properties, it offers no direct assistance in pugilism. Instead, SPC-6985 is utilized to extend the preparation time for the arrival of INEVITABLE Type Deviant Selachians. Because INEVITABLE Type Selachians are those of Megalodon and Megadeath threat levels and have impractically short preparation times, the additional time granted by SPC-6985 brought fatality rates of such attacks down from 96-94% to 6-1%.
Dick Biter Beach under the influence of SPC-6985. Note the complete absence of selachian presence.
Project Component(s): SPC-6985 consists of fifty-seven (57) irregularly shaped objects attached to small round stumps approximately the size of American footballs. Attached to a hole in the top of each object is a removable neon tag that reads 'The anti-shark!' in large bold letters.
Each SPC-6985 component carries a vaguely defined area of influence centered on itself,1 in which no selachian lifeforms/undead/constructs/abstractions are present. When removed from an area, the time required for a selachian entity to return is 2-14 days, depending on how long SPC-6985 was placed there. The Centre has not been able to observe when exactly the disappearance takes place, and it is unknown where the majority of affected entities go. It is hypothesized that SPC-6985 operates on the noospheric level, repelling the entire concept of selachians by amplifying its own conceptual presence as the antithesis.
Acquisition Summary:
Three days prior to the celebration of Green Beach Day, multiple advertisements and pieces of media surrounding SPC-6985 began revealing themselves, visible only to those weak to domineering acts of abrasive hostility. On the eve of the holiday, SPC-6985 began appearing in the homes of random individuals; interviews with the homeowners revealed they all suffer from selachophobia and the lack of will to fight. All SPC-6985 advertisements and media became visible after Green Beach Day. The individuals who received SPC-6985 had varying reactions, ranging from indifferent to accepting towards the object's appearance in their homes, with over 80% of these people appearing heavily reluctant to lose contact with it upon notice. When presented with minor pushback, all individuals surrendered the deviant items.
The most detailed advertisement concerning SPC-6985 that was obtained by personnel was a colourful poster picturing SPC-6985 resting on a white table in front of a bright screen. The poster reads as follows:
'Live without death! Presenting…..the anti-shark! The anti-shark is perfect for anyone with even the smallest desire for safety without effort. Why? Because it's nothing that a shark is and everything a shark's not! Simply take a look to see how not a shark this amazing creation is! And sleep good dreams with this on your bedside table, or anywhere else in your house. Knowing confidently that this is NOT a shark!'
The back of the poster features a table detailing the numerous differences between instances of SPC-6985 and members of the selachian family:
| Shark | Anti-shark |
|---|---|
| Has sharp teeth | Does not have teeth |
| Is smooth | Is barely smooth |
| Gives live birth | Does not give live birth |
| Tail is for swimming | Tail is not for swimming |
| No legs | Has legs |
| Has small arms | Has big arms |
| Aquatic | Can not be in water |
| Bites you | Stings you |
| Can be punched | Can also be punched |
| Eats hundreds of thousands of living creatures every year, responsible for deaths, ecological disasters, and war crimes | Sits in sand |
Of note is that SPC-6985 appears identical to the striped bark scorpion. This detail has no bearing on its deviant properties and is deemed insignificant.
Deployment Record: The following are selected examples of SPC-6985 deployment against INEVITABLE Type Deviant Selachians, 3 chosen out of 97 successful missions.| LOCATION | THREAT ENTITY | RESULT |
|---|---|---|
| Empire of Cipangu | Sharkako: A spectral entity connected to a deviant video cassette that curses anyone who views it with death (by selachian consumption) after 7 days. | A Centre pugilist was exposed to the tape and given SPC-6985. Upon the 7th day, the television within the pugilist's home turned on by itself, showing a grainy video of an underwater borehole. After the absence of Sharkako was confirmed, the Centre intercepted the supernatural broadcast and overlaid a cartoon iron fist suspended by rope over the hole. Upon the removal of SPC-6985, Sharkako slowly rose from the hole before being sucker punched back down by the heavy fist. Following this, the video cassette lost all deviant properties. |
| Gyron Tokyo | Rust Tooth: A mechanical construct held together and piloted by billions of micro-selachians. Upon defeat, the ameboid controllers will sink into the ground and slowly build a new body over an average period of 15 years. | The additional time granted allowed the Centre to finalize modifications on the Steel Fister 3.0, such as laser deflection and the installation of a "Burst Mode." Battle took approximately 10 minutes before ending in Centre victory, with below-average damage to surrounding settlements. |
| Britannia | Dragon-Shark of Blackpool: Legendary monster prophesied to destroy the entirety of Britannia, along with the region of Brittany, France.2 Ancient legends say that only the legendary weapon Excalifist, wielded by the chosen hero, can slay it. | The Centre was successfully able to locate the chosen hero, Tarquin Pennyworth, and assist them in undergoing the character growth necessary to wield Excalifist. Due to the lack of looming danger, the tragedy typically involved in hero-rituals was instead replaced by a comedic coming-of-age narrative. Upon removing SPC-6985 from the area, the Dragon-Shark arrived and was swiftly beaten to death with Excalifist and the fist-shaped rock it was embedded in. |
Incident Black-Trench: Arena-91, a stronghold situated between the red and black danger zones of Florida, had been suffering constant attacks by selachian forces. As these attacks were significantly impeding the Centre's political subterfuge operations, it was elected to send SPC-6985 to help defend the stronghold from further sabotages. Due to the complete protection Arena-91 was afforded by this, its operations began shifting to weapon development, becoming one of the Centre's leading suppliers for pugnātorial technology. SPC-6985 remained within the stronghold for the next 7 months, the longest time any instance has stayed in one location.
Following this, all contact with Arena-91 was lost. Suspecting a possible ransacking by the native selachian-allied crocodiles, a stealth-pugilist was sent for reconnaissance.
The following video log was transmitted by said pugilist, agent Mikhail Trebuchet.3
(A quiet dripping permeates the partially flooded hallway, the ceiling lights providing dim illumination. Mikhail enters through a broken ventilation shaft, crawling along the ceiling.)
Mikhail: I don't smell anyone nearby.
(The agent proceeds further into the building. Fist-shaped indents dot the walls sporadically, but with no signs of any crocodilian attack. No traces of bloodshed have been observed either.)
Mikhail: Did they attack them in their dreams? No, the crocs were exiled from the Oneiroi Sea 2 years ago. Was this really a gator attack?
(He finds the elevator shaft, open, the large metal box absent from the interior. Water pours from the floor into the tawny colored pit.)
Mikhail: Why is it flooded? There weren't any leaks from outside, I don't think. Internal?
(Creeping down the shaft, the sound of miniature waterfalls reverberates through the chamber. It is briefly calming. Mikhail reaches floor B-1; the shaft further down is flooded.)
Mikhail: I still don't smell anyone. Water. Things in this site:
- Sun gauntlet Mk-2
- Ancient Floridian battle armor
- SPC-6985
- Swamp Man experiments
- Swamp Dog experiments
- A wood splinter from the cross Florida Man was crucified on
(The agent exits the elevator and slides under the knee-high water.)
Mikhail: (If SPC-6985 is here, then there are no selachians here -> Most non-selachian site losses come from accidents during weapon development -> SPC-6985 is here) Maybe a weapons test went belly up. Why is the water warm?
(This place feels still, like an architect's initial conception for a building. The rooms hold no clues to a story; battle armaments left untouched, offices bereft of any eye-catching files, not even the walls show signs of conflict here. But just as Mikhail enters back into the hall, he spots something small and silver swimming in his peripheral vision: a minnow.)
Mikhail: (Fish -> Minnow -> Alive) Why couldn't I smell you? I wasn't trained to pick up that scent.
(The tiny fish swims across his visor, slapping its tail against it before moving away. The minnow continues bumping into his head.)
Mikhail: Trying to get my attention. Sorry, I'm scouting right now.
(Three more minnows, one bigger than the others, approach from down the hall.)
Mikhail: I don't understand.
(The agent turns to leave, but finds a school of minnows swimming from the other direction. He crawls out and onto the walls, the fish rushing over his former position like a cattle herd. Out of the silvery mass, other forms are spotted: a bass, a clownfish, a pufferfish, two clownfish. Members of the school start jumping out of the water towards Mikhail. The agent moves back towards the elevator shaft. The fish follow.)
Mikhail: Unexpected abnormality. Best to leave.
(The school grows. More types of fish can be seen: flounders, wolf fish, even balkan seals join the hoard. The piscine mass rises in density, jutting out of the water occasionally like a sea serpent. An oddly large trout launches out of the water and makes contact with Mikhail. He quickens his pace.)
(The agent hums a sigh of relief as he sees the light pouring from the shaft. He enters and climbs upward before being knocked down by a falling elephant seal. The sudden muffling of the splash is followed by the noise of thousands of tail fins beating against the water. Mikhail escapes further down.)
(Lights grow more sparse. It is hard to tell how many floors have passed before one can finally be seen, a blue glow reflecting off the tiling and highlighting its presence. Mikhail makes a beeline for the exit.)
(The room he enters is expansive, no walls or ceiling are visible. He looks back at the elevator shaft: a rectangular pillar stretching up into the darkness, the only fixture in an otherwise empty space. The blue glow from before is seen coming from a spotlight, fallen on its side.)
(A minnow swims into view within the shaft. Mikhail jettisons himself upward, higher and higher until he can no longer see the blue light or the pillar, and keeps swimming. He breaches the surface. He can't feel any ceiling. Mikhail turns on his head-mounted flashlight and looks up, the beam reaching out into nothing but air. He looks around himself, the light failing to connect with any object or structure. He plunges his face down into the water, and his veins turn to ice.)
(A human body floats far below him.)
4 (He stares at it. The body begins moving towards him.)
(Mikhail swims with all his might, repeatedly looking back to keep visual on his pursuer. The body remains away from the surface, but continues to glide towards Mikhail like a ghost, staring with arms outstretched. Mikhail turns forward as another body grabs his leg from below and pulls him under. He kicks at the thing's hand, its grip unwavering. More arms reach out from the black depths. Mikhail flails. The bodies rise, some bigger than others, wrapping around Mikhail and pulling him further from the surface. He fights to free his limbs.)
(A long, distended arm shoots past them. It presses up against Mikhail as the elbow bends above his head. He looks to its hand and finds it missing; it's not an arm. 4 identical ones shoot up around him, bending towards Mikhail before closing in around him. Mikhail looks down at a misshapen mass swiftly approaching before transmission is lost.)
Message from the desk of Oracle:
"Yeah, alright." -O-5
Following this, Project 6985 was officially marked ON HIATUS.
It is suspected that the extended conceptual absence of selachians on site resulted in a population boom of its conceptual prey, causing the local noospheric ecosystem to be thrown out of balance.
