SPC-3733

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING FILE IS CLASSIFIED

WAY-GNARLY

UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS WILL BE MET WITH IMMEDIATE PUGNATORIAL ACTION.

NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE

SPC-3733 is currently pending Ethos Commission approval for global distribution.¹

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Project #: SPC-3733²

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Selachian Pugnātorial Capabilities: The purpose of SPC-3733 is to initiate a KO-Class Global-Pugnation Scenario, converting 98%³ of the human population to an anti-selachian ideology. The converted population will begin supporting anti-selachian laws and practices, along with an exponential increase in selachian pugnātorial participation from the public.

Project Component(s):⁴

The Centre's Memetology Division developed 6 auditory memetic agents specifically designed for SPC-3733. The six memetic agents were condensed to form a 1 minute 59 second mp3⁵ audio file classified as Meme-3733. Human subjects exposed to Meme-3733 will hear an orchestral composition consisting of various instruments. During exposure, individuals experience a subconscious shift to a Centre-developed anti-selachian ideology. The subject affected will have no awareness a change has taken place and will consider all implanted ideologies to be authentic naturally-occurring beliefs.⁶

Using cutting-edge nanotechnology⁷ and several deviant components, the F.I.N. (Frequency Integration Network) Device is capable of transmitting Meme-3733 over ranges of up to 40,000km. Within the range specified, any human⁸ with cerebral functionality will hear Meme-3733 through telepathic auditory implantation.

Enhancement Summary: The Anti-Memetology Division has prepared counter-meme 3733-Old-Punch, for distribution amongst Centre personnel. This 59-second memetic inoculation will prevent any aggression-saturation effects among Centre personnel.⁹

Deployment Record: After 47 years of development, SPC-3733 was declared operational, on 8/14/2019. Approval to continue the project is currently pending.

Civilian Test Subject

Interviewed: Daniel Briars¹⁰

Interviewer: Senior Researcher Dr. Philips

Foreword: Interview was taken before Mr. Briars was exposed to Meme-3733. The subject is a 24-year-old Caucasian man from southern Indiana. The subject is typical of the civilian population, showing no deviant qualities.

<BEGIN LOG>¹¹

Dr. Philips: Before we begin the procedure, I'd like to conduct a short interview.

[Subject begins fidgeting in his seat.]

Mr. Daniels: Yeah, yeah, no problem, listen I was told there was gonna be money? I was just wondering if I get paid before or after?

Dr. Philips: Yes, compensation will be given after the procedure, may we continue, Mr. Daniels?

[Subject slicks back his hair, before pulling the chair closer to the interview table.]¹²

Mr. Daniels: Yeah, sorry, what were you saying?

Dr. Philips: Have you or do you plan to conspire with or for any selachian entities or Sharkic conspirators?

[Subject scratches his head.]¹³

Mr. Daniels: Say what now?

Dr. Philips: Have you ever conspired with or for selachian enti-

Mr. Daniels: I'm sorry, selachi-what? I'm sorry Doc, I'm not sure what that is.

Dr. Philips: [Exaggerated Sigh] Have you ever planned on helping sharks, or any shark sympathizers?

Mr. Daniels: Sharks? [Subject laughs] What type of medical study is this again?

Dr. Philips: Mr. Daniels, I assure you there is nothing funny about this, please answer the questions, so we can begin the procedure¹⁴.

Mr. Daniels: Right, whatever you say Doc. [Subject clears his throat] No, I have never helped any sharks or shark people.

Dr. Philips: Good Mr. Daniels, now how does this picture make you feel?

[Dr. Philips holds up a picture of a Hammer-Class selachian entity.]

Mr. Daniels: [Subject fights back laughter] Um, I don't know man, fine? It's a good picture if that's what you mean.

Dr. Philips: Great, thank you. We can begin the procedure now. I'm going to have you listen to a short piece of music, then I will ask you a few more questions.

Mr. Daniels: That's when I get paid right?

Dr. Philips: Yes, Mr. Daniels, that's when you get paid.

[Dr. Philips leaves the room.The F.I.N. Device is activated exposing the subject to Meme-3733 for 1 minute 59 seconds. Dr. Philips re-enters the room once the device is deactivated]¹⁵

Dr. Philips: Okay great, are you ready to answer some questions, Mr. Daniels?

Mr. Daniels: Yeah okay Doc, ask away.

Dr. Philips: Have you or do you plan to conspire with or for any selachian entities or Sharkic conspirators?

Mr. Daniels: Are you kidding man? I told you, I hate sharks, they're awful. I wanna punch one right in its dumb face.

Dr. Philips: Great, now how does this picture make you feel?

[Dr. Philips holds up a picture of a Hammer-Class selachian entity.]

[Subject abruptly stands and punches the picture out of Dr. Philips' hand.]

Mr. Daniels: Fuck sharks.

Dr. Philips: Excellent, Mr. Daniels, I'd like to keep you here for a few days, so we can monitor for any side effects. There will be no monetary compensation, but we have several selachian entities you could punch.

Mr. Daniels: I mean, I feel fine, but whatever you say Doc, that sounds fucking radical.

<END LOG>¹⁶

Closing Statement: Subject experienced complete anti-selachian conversion, showing no signs of negative side effects. Mr. Daniels is under the impression that all implanted beliefs are organic life-long convictions.
These results remained consistent for all SPC-3733 tests on civilian subjects.

                                        

Footnotes

1. PLEASE HELP US

2. If you are reading this document and these words mean anything to you, there is still hope.

3. My name is Researcher Haru Akimoto, I work in the SPC Anti-Memetology Division.

4. While experimenting on new anti-memes, I was exposed to a cerebral-reset anti-memetic agent, and I have learned a grave truth.

5. The SPC organization is currently under the influence of an unknown force, twisting our purpose to fit its own sick agenda.

6. I do not know when it started and I don't know what it is, but it has control.

7. All I know is what it wants. It wants us to punch sharks.

8. It's literally insane, nothing we do or say makes sense.

9. We all need to wake up, before it's too late.

10. We were supposed to protect the world, not play some sick game.

11. Whatever this entity is, it's not satisfied with just us anymore.

12. Please this project is going too far. We need help, before the whole world goes fucking crazy.

13. Again, this is Researcher Haru Akimoto, Site-99, Universe-sp7c326.

14. We need your help.

15. We are not in control anymore.

16. I'm not sure we ever really were.

‡ Licensing / Citation

Cite this page as:

"SPC-3733" by DrAkimoto, from the SCP Wiki. Source: https://scpwiki.com/spc-3733. Licensed under CC-BY-SA.

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