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From the office of the Athletic Coordinator.

Ladies and gentlemen of the Centre. When we founded this organization, we had a simple mission statement: Sock. Pummel. Combat. From our humble beginnings following the consolidation of several covert anti-shark organizations1, right on through till today, this has been our promise to the world. We have had to make some tough choices over this time, as the personnel currently performing Procedure 110-Monshark2 are aware. You may have had to raise your fist against your friends, your loved ones, all in the pursuit of our mission.

You may have heard of Project Ahab. You may have wondered if such a thing could be justified. You may fret over the possibility of non-sharks being caught in the crossfire, of innocent civilians being punched into oblivion. "It's too much," the detractors say, "surely we don't need to resort to WMP's".

SPC-2935 represents the single greatest threat to our continued existence. This file is hereby declassified to all levels of the Centre. What you are about to read is incredibly disturbing, but it must be made known. We cannot, will not falter. We will not concede defeat. And when you gaze into the abyss, ladies and gentlemen…

…punch the shit out of it.


*Note: The administration is aware that this particular format does not adhere to the Standard, but you have to admit it looks sick as fuck.


Description: SPC-2935 is the term for an alternate Earth, accessible via an heretofore undocumented cave system in New Mexico.

SPC-2935 is for all intents and purposes identical to baseline Earth, excluding the fact that organic life - as well as advanced AI and sentient anomalies - became entirely selachian-based on July 17, 2017.

SPC-2935 was discovered on July 19th, after pugilists at Arena-81 picked up a distorted emergency broadcast. A search of the area of its supposed origin led to the discovery of a cave which accessed the aforementioned alternate Earth. Upon entry, the broadcast was able to be deciphered:

Citizens, beware! Selachian threats may be loose in the immediate area. Please remain indoors, and report any fishy activity to your local Centre representative. Stay tuned in for further updates.

All subsequent information on SPC-2935 was gathered by Mobile Task Fist Betta-12 ("Bare-Knuckle Trawlers"), and relayed to Centre Command during a reconnaissance mission.

Exploration Logs SPC-2935

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