A Mummy Begins to Teach Us Weird Physics
rating: +31+x

The void held Robo aloft in a calm sea of darkness, keeping him floating peacefully as he opened his eyes.

There were a million voices around him, yet each was far-away and inaudible.

Without thinking, he brought himself closer to one, and suddenly a conversation reared its head in the darkness.

“It doesn’t need to know.” A voice said, stern and distant. “It’s a shapeshifter. A powerful one. Perhaps even more powerful than 239. Or Able.”

“Bullshit.” Another voice said. He could hear his voice coming from tensely gritted teeth. “He’s a shapeshifter, Gears. Imagine the applications he could have for the Foundation. Something that can imitate one of the Samsaras. Something that can nuke a site on command. We just need to propose it to the O5s, get experimental testing in Site 13, reclaim all the shit we lost.”

“And do you think you can convince it not to scare all the monsters in the way?” The first voice said. “Its literal mission as an anomaly is to scare people. Right now, we temper that by lying to it. The potential of making it cause an XK when it finds out what we’re truly afraid of is too big.”

“Can’t we bond him to someone?” The second voice was starting to get frustrated. “One of the doctors. One of the operatives. Someone who clicks with him.”

“And what if they give away what they’re afraid of? It will do it again and again, and then it will scare more people- genuinely scare more people. And if they talk again, it might happen again, and suddenly we would be seeing a new 682 that can shapeshift roaming through the site, scaring anyone it can see and wreaking havoc by accident.” He paused, breathing in. “It is too dangerous, Doctor Vasilyevich.”

“Then we stop talking about fear-“

“You cannot control fear, Doctor Vasilyevich. Either he learns what scares people sooner, or he learns it later. There is no preventing it. And when he does, he’ll turn into that, and then we will truly be afraid.”

Then he felt himself moving up, and suddenly two more voices began to speak. One was kind, but focused. Dedicated. The other was old, very old, and it was stern as well.

“She likes me, Doctor. She’ll listen to me, for God’s sake. Let me speak to her. She’s just a little girl, and I’m her aunt.”

“Not her real aunt, Doctor Trondeheim. Not her real aunt. Your prior connection to the specimen is irrelevant, along with your reconnection after her procurement.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, you have a daughter too, don’t you? Have a fucking heart. She’s in the same situation as Siggy, even you can realize that.”

“166 is irrelevant to this conversation, Doctor. What matters in this discussion is that 239 is dangerous, and she has to be neutralized. You objected to my proposal to do so permanently. We have to compromise.”

“Fucking compromise?!” He heard the sound of hands being brought down upon a table, the sound ringing out across the void. “You’re putting a child in a coma because she summoned, what, Santa fucking Claus? That scip is contained, now. The girl poses no other threat.”

“But the possibility that she may create more dangerous anomalies is too great to ignore. The Council recognizes it. We’ve seen it time and time again when she wished multiple D-Class out of existence three days ago when she was half-asleep. The spells aren’t enough to restrain her. Recognize that. She's powerful. Too powerful.”

“No. This is bullshit. This is bullshit and you fucking know it, Doctor Alto fucking Clef.”

“Tone down your language, Doctor Trondeheim.”

“No, no I fucking won’t. This move that you’re proposing is cruelty, and you know it.”

“The Foundation is cold, not cruel, Doctor.”

“The Foundation is, but you most certainly aren’t.”

“Your emotions are overtaking you. Sit down.”

“That girl has spent her entire fucking life in 118. She hasn’t even seen a blade of grass, or talked to another kid! Other scips her age were at least afforded a few hours in a garden and a childhood playing with other kids. She wasn’t even given that!”

“It was necessary. Stop acting like it wasn’t-“

He heard the sound of something hitting wood. A small hammer, perhaps. “ORDER!” A third voice boomed, shocking the two into silence. “The council and site direction have seen enough of this… debate.” The voice spat the last word out with as much disappointment as anger. “We will follow Doctor Clef’s second proposal. SCP-239 will be neutralized and induced into a coma.”

The first voice began to object. “Why-“

“This decision is final, Doctor Trondeheim.”

He felt himself floating up for the final time, and suddenly a far younger voice rung out across the room.

“What sword is that? It looks really cool and curved like that.”

A robotic voice answered. “Kindly be silent, 239. I am attempting to medicate your broken arm. Hold still.”

“Why do you call me that?” The younger voice asked. “239.” She said the word like it was rolling around her tongue. “Two-three-niiiiiine.” She giggled. “You sound like one of the doctors.”

The darkness subsided around Robo, and he found himself lying down on a cot in a large room, with a lantern illuminating his surroundings. Another cot was laid out around a campfire, but for all intents and purposes, it was bare- except for the curved sword resting on the wall in front of him, as well as the monstrously large carcass of a dead and eyeless beast in the corner.

He heard the sound of cloth being tied together. “Ah-“ The girl said, grunting in pain. “That hurts!”

He opened his eyes just a bit more, and saw two figures- one sitting on a table, with the other, a much taller one, withdrawing his hands from her arm as he finished his ministrations.

“Temporary pain for permanent healing, as the Pharaoh would say. It will subside, 239.” The figure paused, and turned to Robo. “Ah, it seems like our guest is awake.”

The smaller figure, which he thought to be the girl who was speaking earlier, carefully took herself off the table and rushed to hug him.

Robo instinctively began to move away from her, but then in one instant all the memories came flowing back.

The creature.
Her hitting the ground.

His eyes trailed to her broken arm, and suddenly Robo sprung to his feet.

“Siggy, you alright?” He put his hands on her shoulders, meeting her eyes with his. “I’m so sorry I left you alone. I was being a really damn big fool and-“

Siggy smiled, but something about it felt… lacking. “Mister Seth saved me.”

Robo looked away from her. “Mister Seth…?”

A tall, brown-skinned man, nearly corpse-like in his appearance, moved forward to present himself to him. His wounds were uncountable on his face alone, and countless more were scattered around his entire body, each of which should have been fatal. A device with a strap was fastened around his neck, just beneath the gaping wound on his throat. A wire from it connected with an earpiece on the left side of his head.

He could see him mouthing words, whispers coming from his ruined mouth, and then the device around his neck began to speak in a robotic voice.

“I hope you do not mind the mess, SCP-2006. My name is SCP-138, or as the little girl wishes to call me…” He rolled his eyes, and Robo noticed that one was glassy, the other clear. “Seth. As if I needed the recognition.”

Siggy smiled. “It’s a pretty name. Don’t be such a buttface.” She jerked a thumb to him and pretended that she was whispering to Robo. "He can't die, either."

“I am not a butt with a face, 239. I am certain it is not translating properly, but in case you are being earnest, my face is not a fleshy pillow with a tiny hole.” He sighed. "And yes, I heard you whispering there. That is true. I cannot die, though I have always wished to."

Siggy jerked a thumb towards Seth. She giggled as she spoke. “He’s funny like that. I dunno why.”

Robo smiled from beneath his helmet. “I don’t know why, either.” He looked at Seth. “Thank ya for saving us from the monster.”

Seth sat on a chair beside Robo’s cot. “It is no problem. You must be wary, though. 939 are extremely numerous on this floor, and your attempt to scare them was very foolhardy.” He narrowed his eyes. “I know why you tried to perform such a feat, but please refrain from scaring beasts like that in the future. If not for yourself, do it for the little girl.”

He scratched his head. “Really sorry ‘bout that. I thought-“

“You thought scaring would remedy everything? Very naïve, 2006. Fear is the response, actions are the catalyst.” He jerked his head in the direction of the carcass. “And the actions of beasts like 939 catalyze much fear in responses like yours.”

Robo felt an emotion that had been alien to him previously, quickly surfacing now. It was dislike.

“Your naivete belies your inexperience in survival, 2006.” He stood up. “Do either of you even know what the other is capable of?”

Robo and Siggy exchanged glances. Their response was the same. “No?”

Seth shook his head. “Nevermind.”

Siggy perked up. “If you know so much, let me ask you something. Are you a wizard?”

Seth paused for a moment. “No, I am not a-“ Then he stopped himself. “Yes, I am a skilled practitioner of Heka. It is why I know so much.”

Siggy gasped. “Really?” She stepped closer. “Whaddya know?”

Seth narrowed his eyes for a moment, and sighed. “I know much, and can teach it to you if you wish. I can teach you my knowledge about the site and everything in it,”

He muttered inaudibly to himself right after that, which the translator interpreted as “So that you can survive…

“And perhaps…” He looked at Siggy. “Spells, from the land of the Pharaohs.”

Siggy gasped again, and for far longer. Her astonishment was obvious. “Realllly?”

“Yes. But first, some essential lessons.”

He put a finger up in the air, creating an imaginary rectangular shape as he drew.

“This site is called Site-118. It has 24 floors, all underground. You wish to get out, correct?”

Siggy nodded eagerly. Robo did nothing but stay guarded.

“To do so, you will have to journey from floor to floor. It will not be easy. Daedalus created his Labyrinth to be a maze, but it is possible in imagination.”

Siggy cocked her head. “A maze? Labyrinth? Isn’t that the story of Hercahlees?”

“Theseus.” He cleared his throat, and phlegm came from the wound on his throat. “In time, the labyrinth was taken by the Foundation in a time that I do not know, and created into the site you are in today.”

Robo crossed his arms. “So how do you know all this, huh?”

Seth shot him a look of irritation and impatience. “Because, by the gods, I can read books provided to me and all the papers lying aro-“ He paused, glanced at Siggy, then sighed. “Because I’m ma-a-a-a-a-a-gic.”

Siggy clapped in excitement. “That’s so awesome! I can do magic too!”

Seth smiled at her. “I’m sure you can, witch girl.”

He continued. “Usually, there are many elevators that go between each floor that defies the labyrinth’s abnormal and reality-defying shape, but that is gone now. All you can do is journey from one floor to the other on foot.”

“How long will that take?” Robo said patronizingly.

Seth shot him a straight look. “In the quickest way possible, knowing all the directions you need to go? Two years.”

Robo took a deep breath in astonishment.

“At your pace, with no idea about where to go? Six. And that is the smallest number.”

Robo blinked. “S-six?”

Siggy counted on her fingers. “So if I’m eight, then…” She looked up. “Woah. I’d be a big girl.”

Seth put his hands on his hips. Blood spurted from one of the wounds as he did so. “That’s what one of the workers here told me when I still ran with them. It is why many of the survivors have formed settlements on various floors.”

He looked at both of them. “Careful with them. Most are more hostile than you think, and will not tolerate creatures like us running loose.”

“There are survivors?” Siggy said, eyes wide. “Are there any doctors among them? Girl doctors?”

“Most of them are doctors, yes.”

“Then we have to go to them! We have to find Lana!”

Robo bit his lip. “I don’t think we can do that, Siggy-“

Seth spoke up. “It is impossible, unless you meet her by chance. She could be living in settlements that would kill you two on sight. It is best to give up hope on finding her, little girl.”

Siggy’s face fell. “But-“

Seth’s expression, which was stern earlier, lightened. “You can try, though.”

A touch of happiness returned to Siggy’s face. “I can try?”

Before Seth could respond, Robo interjected. “O’ course we can try, Siggy. We can take our time in getting outta here,” He looked at the corpse-man. “Right, Seth?”

“Right. You can.” He sighed. “But don’t trust just anyone. There are some unsavory… characters that will want to wish you harm.” His eyes strayed to the door behind him.

“I can take them down!” Siggy said, jumping to her feet. “I’m a witch!”

Seth smiled, resignedly. “But you do not have any big spells, do you?”

Siggy shook her head. “No. Only light spells and summoning my wand and my hat.”

“Well,” He leaned in, before looking behind him and back at Siggy. “You are going to learn some now.”

He drew his hands up in the air theatrically, like a magician in a play. “From the lands of the lower kingdom, the great cities of the river Nile, I will now teach you a spell word- ’Heqat’.” The words sounded dull and monotone as he said it through the translator, but Siggy was nothing but exhilarated.

“Repeat after me.” He pointed at the curved sickle-like sword on the wall. “This will summon another one of that sword.” He closed his eyes, then his robotic voice shouted “HEQAT KOPESH!”

“HECCAT KROPESCH!” Siggy repeated.

Suddenly, a large sickle-like sword identical to the one Seth pointed to appeared in her hand. It was fitted to Siggy’s size, and she could lift it with ease.

“Woah!” She exclaimed, swinging the sword around. “This is awesome!”

“Such is the power of Heka.”

Then Siggy paused, and looked at Seth’s hand. “Wait, if you’re a wizard too, why don’t you have a kropeshh in your hand?”

Seth stared at her like a deer in headlights. “Because-“ He paused for a second. Two seconds. “Because I am… old. You are a very talented girl, and so you can do it better than I ever could.”

She stared at her hands. “Woah. I can do that better than you?”

“Yes. You are a powerful girl, Siggy.”

At that moment, Siggy felt like the happiest witch in the world. She beamed with pride.

Robo couldn’t help but smile at the girl’s pure joy.

“Make sure to always do that when you need something. If you need food, say ‘Heqat food!’ If you need water, say ‘Heqat water!’”

Siggy smiled. “HEQAT FOOD!”

In an instant, a bag of cheeseballs appeared at her feet.


A bottle of water appeared before her.


A teddy bear appeared before her.


Seth drew out his hands in front of him. “Hey, hold on there. I’m not done teaching you yet!”

Siggy looked up at him, eyes as large as the moon. “What else can you teach me?”

“Two words: A’max and Khe-fa.” He looked behind him again, then looked at Siggy. “A’max is ‘to burn’. It can create fireballs or bursts of fire depending on what you think. Khe-fa is ‘to punch’. It can force someone backward like you’re punching them.”

He crossed his arms. “Try it.” He smiled. “Not at us, though. Summon something you can test it against.”

Siggy stood up and concentrated on a particular thing. Then, she found it.


In an instant, in front of her, a large teddy bear double the size of Robo dominated the entire room.

Seth’s eyes widened. Robo couldn’t find his breath.

Then, Siggy let it loose.

“AY-MAX!” She shouted, and suddenly a burst of flame emanated from her hands, setting the front of the teddy bear aflame.

“KHE-FA!” The moment she said it, an invisible force pummeled the teddy bear so hard its head hit the wall, causing the wall to slightly cave with an audible drusgh!

Siggy shouted gleefully.

“AY-MAX!” A fireball crashed into the teddy bear’s head, causing it to explode.

“KHE-FA!” A subsequent punch caused the teddy bear to break into the other side.

“AY-MAX!” The teddy bear’s torso exploded into stuffing and burnt fabric.

“KHE-FA!” The wall began to give in.

Seth started to come closer. “239, please-“

“AY-MAX!” The entire arm of the teddy bear had been burnt off.

Robo began to attempt to rein her in. “Siggy, I don’t think-“


With a great crash! the thoroughly roasted and burnt teddy bear fell in with the wall, crashing into the corridor on the other side.

Siggy gleefully let out a laugh of enjoyment. “THAT WAS AWESOMEEEE!” She shouted, whooping as she did.

Seth was shocked into silence. “Siggy-“

“Did you see that, Mister Seth? Did you see that?”

Seth nodded. “Yes, yes, I saw that. But you have to restrain your use.” He closed his eyes and racked his brain for a solution. “Do you not feel tired?”

Siggy cocked her head. “Tired? I’m not tired.”

“Well…” He blinked a few times in quick succession. “Well, you will. A lot of magic in such a short time will exhaust the user, and you will have to stop using it for a short time in order to give yourself a rest.”

On cue, Siggy yawned.

Seth’s eyes widened in astonishment, and he continued. “See?” He paused, trying to consolidate his thoughts. “You see? You are tired! You are tired from the spellcasting.”

Robo objected. “I don’t know, she has had a long-“

“You are very tired, Siggy, so you will have to stop now. You can cast spells later.”

Siggy stumbled to the floor, yawning as she did. “I will.”

Seth kneeled to bring himself to her level. “Sleep now, Siggy. You can wake up in an hour. You did very well.”

“Imma sleep very welllll…” Siggy said as she closed her eyes, her speech slurred.

Robo looked at Seth.

“What the hell was that?”

Seth sighed. “Her power. She is very powerful. Too powerful.”

For some reason, those words sounded familiar to Robo. “Powerful… how?”

“Well, she-“

Suddenly, a knock came from the door.

A deep voice came from the other side. “Hey, Seth? Are you in there?”

Seth froze. Then he answered. “I’m coming, Uhlda! I shall be with you shortly.”

Robo whispered. “Who is that?”

Seth answered, moving to the door to unlock it. “He is the man who will take you to the surface. He is here for-“

A tall, stern man entered, moving past Seth. He was dressed in dirty white doctor’s clothing, a black cap hiding his eyes from view. Both of his hands were hidden in his coat pockets, but what really got Robo’s attention was his sharp cheeks and gaunt face, like he had been sculpted out of thorns.

“Robo, I would like you to meet my companion, Doctor Kaleph Uhlda.”

The doctor smiled, meeting his cold blue eyes with Robo’s past his helmet. They were the color of great glaciers, of icebergs hidden from view, of hells frozen over hundreds of times that only he ruled.

“Who do we have here, 138?” He said, eyes lingering on Robo. “Guests?”

“Just some creatures I found being attacked by a 939. Took them in.”

His eyes bore into Robo’s.

"I see."

Then they separated from him to regard the teddy bear halfway into the corridor.

“Some powerful guest creatures, I assume.” He laughed. It was warm, strangely warm.

Robo felt a chill run up his spine as he laughed. For the second time in his life, Robo felt terrified.

Then his eyes found the sleeping form of Siggy, and his voice turned hard.

”Very powerful guests, indeed.”

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