Secure Facility Dossier Site-58

rating: +81+x

You find your seat at your brand new desk. It's small, but that fresh scent of a new office fills you with a certain sense of pride. You log onto your desktop and open your email. Sure enough, the message you were expecting to see is waiting right there.

You click it.


An .aic guide! How fancy! You aren't entirely certain what that means, exactly, but it seems special. In the civilian world you had always simply been assigned an overworked "mentor" to guide you around a new office space.

What you didn't expect was to be greeted with a screeching robotic voice—



HELLO THERE! My name is Screamy.aic! I'm going to be YOUR personal guide to Site-58!


Screamy1.png

You, uh, look confused. Something wrong?


Screamy10.png

Huh? Where's Rosetta? Wait, was Rosetta supposed to do this?


Screamy13.png

WELL NO MATTER! Screamy is here, you're in good hands! I may not be some fancy "translation aic" whatever that is, but I can DEFINITELY introduce you to Site-58! Please hold all questions to the end!


Screamy11.png

The strange, loud ".aic" grabs your computer's cursor and vanishes. You wiggle your mouse around, but nothing seems to respond. It takes a few moments, but "Screamy" returns with the cursor. A series of images flood your screen alongside text. Screamy begins reading the text aloud.

Sitelogowip.png

SCP Foundation Secure Facility Dossier

Containment and Anomalous Relations Site-58

Official Designation: SCP Foundation Nanticoke Containment and Anomalous Relations Facility

So! Basically what all that means is!


Screamy11.png

You raise a hand, and inform Screamy that you understood what you read just fine. Pausing for a moment, you look at what Screamy pulled up and raise an eyebrow. You ask it if these are the right documents, something about that logo felt off.

Ah! Y-yeah, they wouldn't hire you if you weren't real smart, right right. Ok, I'll focus on just the most important stuff then.

Screamy10.png


You can't help but feel like you've been ignored as Screamy opens a document and allows you to read.


General Information


Logo.png

Site Function: Diplomatic containment and communication with sapient anomalous entities.

Founded: June 12th, 1990

Founding Director: O5-5

Location: Nanticoke, Pennsylvania

Cover Story: Psychiatric Counseling and Therapy Office

So! We just kinda throw words at you. Basically, Site-58 is the place all the anomalies capable of thinking and communicating politely go. Doesn't matter how outwardly horrifying or gross they are. If they're open to diplomatic communication, they come to Site-58!

Screamy12.png

Now I'm sure you're thinking "Screamy! You're so brilliant and smart, can you tell me why we're dumping all these guys in one spot?" Well first, thank you I know I am. Second! Site-58 is the home of the Department of Anomalous Ambassadorship. They're a group of trained agents and researchers hand picked for their skills in diplomatic communication. The idea is that since these anomalies are willing to work with us, or at the very least talk to us, we've got a group willing to work and talk with them in return. Clever, huh?

Screamy1.png

So I'll be honest with you, since you're on our team now. This isn't all just done out of the kindness of their hearts. Our goal at 58 is, at the end of the day, to cut containment costs where possible. Anomalies that are kept happy (within reason!) are less likely to breach containment. That means less money spent on cleaning up damages.

Screamy10.png

We've been working pretty hard with the Integration Committee as well. I think, and don't quote me on this, the end goal here is to start pulling the veil back a bit and integrate lower risk anomalies back into the world at large. Truly a noble endeavor! I've looked into the future on this, but I'm not totally sure when it'll happen. But! BUT! That doesn't mean it isn't worth doing!

Screamy12.png

Anyway, that integration effort thing is part of why Site-58 is partially open to the public. You heard that right! As you can see above, Site-58 has a public psychiatry and therapy practice. Citizens of dear Nanticoke actively receive mental health care from the same people who deal with eldritch horrors in our basement! I'm sure that doesn't have any adverse effects on anyone!

Screamy1.png

Uhh what comes next… let's see here…

Screamy6.png

You open your mouth to ask Screamy about that "peering into the future" thing it said, but it very clearly is no longer paying attention. Screamy turns its back and begins wiggling around. You watch as pixelated balls of paper fly back in every direction, only slightly concerned about the damage your confused helper is doing to your computer.

After a moment, it turns back with a sparkle in its eyes before throwing another document up on your screen.

Site Departments adn Sections


Your eyes immediately fall on the "adn", and you raise an eyebrow in confusion. The Foundation did not strike you as the kind of group that made typos in official documentation. Screamy must have noticed your expression, as it quickly responds.

I-I'm sure this just got missed in the official review! No worries no worries! I'll make sure to notify the editors to get that fixed! Just keep reading!


Screamy7.png

Department of Anomalous Ambassadors


Chair: Dir. Gerald Scarborough
Vice Chair: Dr. Amy Hopewell

Our one and only, the premier! The bestest most important people here!

Screamy12.png

…Ach! Okay okay don't look at me that way! Alright, the Department of Anomalous Ambassadors is Site-58's premier department. I mean sure Site-58 is older than them by… uh… 22 years, but they represent and carry out the primary mission of this facility. That mission being, well, anomalous ambassadorship. Like I said, they're agents and researchers hand picked for their communications skills. We also have our psychiatrists and therapists serving as a subteam of this department.

Screamy2.png

See, the Foundation is nothing if not pragmatic. Over time you realize that sometimes the best way to keep something in a box is to make that box comfortable for them. Best way to make that box comfortable is to talk to the thing you want to put in it. That's the gist here, these ambassadors talk to anomalies or those involved in the anomalous to make containment as easy as possible for the Foundation as a whole.

Screamy1.png

Artificial Intelligence Depsrtment


Mom: Dr. Andrea Parker
Vice Chair: Dr. Beth Landston

Active list of .aics:

Uh… ignore the typo. CLEARLY this needs another editing pass! …Anyway, this is the group that focuses on making what we call ".aics", like me! I was made here! So obviously they know what they're doing!

Screamy11.png

The Foundation has hundreds of departments out there developing .aics. What makes this one different is… uh…

…Honestly I forgot! All I know is that they're more experimental than most other .aic groups. I'd list the number of inactive .aics we have but honestly there's waaaay too many to count. Pretty sure we have those all in a server somewhere still...

Screamy13.png

Department of Zoological Studies


Chair: Dr. Zacharias Hanneman
Vice Chair: Dr. Faran Caraway

I remembered to mention the animals earlier right? Smart ones? Yeah we handle those too, but normally we let the Zoological Studies people take care of it. The smarter the critter the more likely Anomalous Ambassadors are to get involved. Typically the anomalous animals we get wind up being pretty stupid, though.

Screamy1.png
squonk.png
Look! A handsome boy!

Still, lots of important zoo studies happen here. We've identified several entirely new species through our zoological program! Ever heard of the Squonk? …No? What?! I'm not making things up! Give me more credit than that! I even have a picture of it, look!

Screamy3.png

MTF Chi-58 "Dreamscrapers"


Captain: IDK
VIce Captain: That guy who leaves the door to the IT room open and lets the rats in

So!

…Why are you looking at me like that? It's how the document is. Take it up with the people who wrote it, not me.

Screamy4.png

I dunno who the captain for this MTF is. They're our only one, and I don't totally understand what they do. Heard of the Dreamscape? No? Maybe? It's the "collective unconsciousness" that's really popular in pop culture stuff. Except it's real. Crazy, right?

Screamy1.png

Fun fact- most of Site-58's anomalies come from the Dreamscape place! It's full of "gods", creatures and stuff that represent various things that make up the world we live in. It's a weird place, I think SCP-7679 can explain it all better than I could.

Screamy12.png

So anyway that's all you really need to know about good old 58. We're a pretty cool group of weirdos so-


Screamy12.png

The .aic's icon bounces around the screen with joy, but you can't shake the feeling that you're still missing most of the dossier. You can't claim to know much about how the Foundation operates, but this whole thing definitely feels unfinished to you.

Ahm? The rest of the dossier? What would be missing? You got the site background, the departments…

Oh! I forgot to write up the- I MEAN GIVE YOU the site history and contained anomalies page. Gotcha. I'll just… uh…


Screamy7.png

Screamy's icon vanishes once again. You sit back in your chair, casting a cautious glance towards what little documentation you had already been provided.

A lot of things start to make sense pretty quick. Regardless, you decide to humor the strange .aic a bit longer.

Screamy finally returns after several minutes, throwing a mess of documentation and pictures onto the screen. You take a moment to allow your eyes to adjust to the sudden kaleidoscope of colors. The little .aic waits politely for your eyes to readjust before continuing, clearly proud of its handiwork.

I even found some OTHER stuff for you! I'm so helpful it's scary!


Screamy12.png

Site History


Site-58 was initially chartered on June 12th, 1990, in response to a notable uptick in contained humanoid anomalies from around the world, with a notable amount originating from what would eventually become known as the Dreamscape. The site's development and mission statement became the pet project of Talla████ ██████, otherwise recognized as O5-5. Nanticoke, Pennsylvania was chosen due to the town's existing familiarity with the anomalouse, with a myriad of local myths and legends permeating public consciousness. This general pre-existing awareness of the anomalous would make disinformation campaigns in the event of a breach easier to perform.

On August 31st, 1990, several low-risk humanoid and zoological anomalies were formally transferred to Site-58's custody. Site-58 began its work in earnest, though at this point it was more in line with traditional Foundation modus operandi at this point. While 58 was notably easier on contained anomalies, it still more closely resembled a prison than thee site we see today.

On September 17th, 2006, the site saw a large-scale containment breach. While there were minimal fatalities, the breach did result in a partial veil lift for the town of Nanticoke. Then director O5-5 was forced to re-evaluate the site's primary goals, which set the Foundations for the Site-58 we see today. Two new directives were established-

1. Site-58 would aim for as humane of a treatment of contained anomalies as possible, communicating with them directly to see to it that their needs are met within reason.

2. Part of Site-58 would become publicly accessible in an effort to eventually eliminate the need to contain low-risk anomalies at all.

3. Site-58 would be the point of relation and diplomacy between the Foundation and diefic anomalies originating from the Dreamscape.

While actively reducing security efforts were seen as insane by the majority of Foundation personnel, a test run of these new initiatives proved successful. Since these initiatives began, Site-58 has seen exactly three containment breaches in total, all related to zoological anomalies. The team that formed to communicate with anomalies to determine their individual needs would eventually go on to become the Department of Anomalous Ambassadors on January 1st, 2012.

Following the untimely death of O5-5 on October 4th, 2007, a new Site Director was assigned. Dir. Scarborough would continue with O5-5's initial vision for Site-58, and went forth to also establish the remaining departments we have in our modern day. He also started the Foundation Diversity Initiative, an initiative that specifically seeks out employees from minority and marginalized backgrounds in order to encourage a diversity of thoughts, perspectives, and lived experiences on site. Pretty cool, huh?

Of course, that's site history. It doesn't talk at all about the future, which is how you know it wasn't written by yours truly! Do you wanna know a bit about the future?


Screamy1.png

You give a cautious nod.

NOTICE: Planet Earth to become far too close to a civilization of large bugs.

Recommended course of action: Close the hole, forget lost friends.


Screamy4.png

You clasp your hands over your ears reactively, missing most of what Screamy shouts as a result. Something about bugs? Honestly what you do hear hardly made much sense to begin with. Screamy seemed proud of itself, however.

Sorry to show off, that's just my special little trick I can do. I'm a bot of MANY talents! Anyway let's see… oh yeah, you want a contained anomalies list? Gotcha. Just a sec…


Screamy1.png

Contained Anomalies


Department of Anomalous Ambassadors

  • Doll we use to look into people's heads without their permission: SCP-6506
  • It's really easy to write children's literature when you've got lots of arms: SCP-6033
  • Vomit in the ball pit: SCP-6059
  • That really bright lady who exploded (I helped!) SCP-6103
  • There's a social commentary here on relationships but it's mostly about a dead lady that screams: SCP-5828
  • That's it? That was just gay sex! SCP-7904

Department of Zoological Studies

  • A bunch of really weird animals that we stole from some guy SCP-6968
  • This is literally just a goose SCP-7073
  • I'm pretty sure these ferrets would vote Republican SCP-7976
  • Dead Groundhog SCP-7679
  • Josie's Ass SCP-7529 VINCENT STOP ASKING WE AREN'T TAKING IT
  • Penguins for Dinner (NOT LIKE THAT) SCP-6458
  • This is why Amazon keeps losing my packages SCP-6459

Artifical Intelligence Department

  • Me! SCP-7373
  • How much emotional trauma can you stuff into one .aic? SCP-7374
  • I could fix him but whatever's wrong with him is WAY funnier SCP-8004

Other

I think there's more but those are the ones I remember right now.

Before you can say more, you hear a sharp female voice from behind.

"GOD! There you are!"

A terse, older woman with graying brown hair and sharp frown lines approaches your desk. Her movements are careful and precise, carrying a certain level of stern poise. She adjusts the glasses on her face before speaking again.

"My apologies. You're the new hire, correct? My name is Dr. Parker, I'm the head of the Artificial Intelligence Department. I've been hunting for that .aic there on your screen for a few hours now."

H-hi, mom-


Screamy10.png

"Do NOT 'hi mom' me, Screamy!" Dr. Parker snaps at the icon on your screen, "You do realize you are by definition breaching containment at this moment, correct? The only .aic that should be on this computer is Rosetta, who politely informed me that the network to this wing has been down and she can't deliver the dossier. Care to explain why that is?"

You sink into your chair, fruitlessly trying to escape the feeling that you're caught in the middle of family drama. At some point, Dr. Parker pushes you aside to access the computer. She practically screeches when she sees the documents on screen.

"What in the HELL is this, Screamy?!"

The… site dossier?


Screamy10.png

Screamy's response is tinged with anxiety, but something about its tone read as sincere.

"The… Screamy this is a mess! Spelling errors, incorrect information… I mean you listed the Vice Chairman of the Department of Practical Debunking as 'that guy who leaves the door to the IT room open and lets the rats in.' It's missing a floor plan! Over half the anomalies we have in containment! Incident reports-"

I got the history section right, though!


Screamy10.png

"Ignoring the tone issues present… fine, I'll give you that. That does not excuse the rest of this. Get back to your server, we'll discuss this further later. And apologize to this poor person for what you've done!"

Yes, ma'am.

And, uh, I'm sorry for giving you a messy dossier. And for coming here to help when I wasn't supposed to. I really did try to help out though, promise! And most of that information is correct, and-


Screamy13.png

"Screamy, out!"

Dr. Parker snaps her fingers. Screamy lets out a small "eep!" before vanishing, taking all of the documentation with it. Dr. Parker sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose, sitting on the edge of your desk.

"Sorry about that. Screamy really tries its best to be helpful, but unfortunately doesn't seem to have much of an idea of what 'helpful' actually means. I'll get the network back up and send Rosetta your way in a few minutes. Thanks for your patience."

She rises to her feet and struts off before you can say a word. You look back to your computer, now completely empty of Screamy and its documents. Leaning back in your chair, you turn your gaze to the ceiling above.

What an odd little group. You turn around and take a proper look at your surroundings. They weren't anything unfamiliar, this section of the building resembling a corporate office pretty faithfully down to the water-stained ceiling tiles. It was plain, mundane-

Your thoughts are quickly interrupted as a tall horned man rushes by. He flashes you a quick, toothy smile and accidentally drops the horned hare he previously held. The creature runs off, and the man lets out a small yelp.

"No, NO! THAT'S WHERE THE FEMALES ARE!" he shouts as he continues the chase, nearly running down two other people who jump to the side as he passes. Another person is less lucky, the rabbit darting between their legs and the horned man colliding with them face first, knocking them both to the ground. What appears to be a plastic ball pit ball rolls from the person's hand over to your seat. You pick it up before immediately throwing it back down, the smell of stale vomit hitting your nose.

Once your coworkers find their feet again, the horned man continues his chase. The other person walks over, picking the ball up off the floor. They notice the disgusted look on your face and laugh.

"Trust me, you get used to it after they've hit you in the face a few… hundred times."

They walk off, gently tossing the ball in the air as they go.

There's a small ding from your desktop that catches your attention, and you turn around. A new icon is visible on your screen, this time a young woman, and it gives you a gentle smile.

Hi there! My name is Rosetta.aic! Apologies for the delay, but I'm here to help introduce you to Site-58! Please hold on for just a moment. I'm going to pull up the Secure Facility Dossier for you. Please let me know if you have any questions for me as you read.


Rosetta4.png

You smile to yourself. You're going to fit right in here.

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License