It was Abnormalities all along! *dun dun dun*
Hi, everyone, it’s ToErrDivine again. Today, I’m looking at SCP-7790, “Orientation” by Abrethe/Roundabouts and
NielleiN. (Reddit posts can be found here and here.)This is quite an interesting one, and I’m going to be going over it twice- the first time to show you what I see before the ~big reveal~, and the second time to go into further detail, along with the authors’ commentary. Before I start, I’d like to thank Abrethe and the mods for their help, I really appreciate it.
First, the usual disclaimer: I didn’t write this, I’m not claiming to know everything, this isn’t going to be 100% accurate to the authors’ vision and intentions, and I still talk too much, sorry.
All right, let’s get to it.
Part One: The First Glance
Before we can get to the actual article, opening the page gives us a heading that tells us that the anomaly is under investigation by order of Site-94’s administration, so the documentation may be inaccurate.
Hmmm. To me, there’s two obvious ways of interpreting this. The first (and more charitable) interpretation is that this anomaly may have only been recently discovered, so we don’t have all the facts yet. The second (and less charitable) interpretation is that the investigation is more of the ‘somebody done gone and fucked up’ type, so the documentation isn’t whole because bits of it have been redacted, stolen, destroyed or taken as evidence. But we don’t know which it is yet, so let’s keep going.
We now get the basic information: this anomaly is Level Four, which is secret, but not top secret. Its object class is ‘Pending’- here’s a definition from the Object Classes Guide:
This is used to indicate that the Foundation is actively researching the anomaly, but doesn't have enough information yet to give it an object class.
Going off that, the most likely explanation is either that this anomaly has only recently been discovered, or that the Foundation keeps finding out new information about it. Could go either way, really.
We then get a picture of a pool of water in what looks like an icy, mountainous area. The caption tells us that this is of Matanuska-Susitna in 1992. Matanuska-Susitna, or Ma-Su, is a borough in Alaska. It’s not very densely populated- its population was only 107,000 in 2020- and from the little I’ve read, there’s some national parks there and a couple of small towns (the biggest town in the borough has just over 9000 people), and not much else.
So, sounds like a good place to do secret stuff, huh?
Time for the containment procedures, which aren’t very long:
SCP-7790 is currently contained within an HS3-Class1 containment locker at Site-94. Access to the anomaly's containment chamber is limited to Level 5 personnel authorized by a member of the O5 Council.
HS3 stands for ‘Highly Secured, Subterranean and Secluded’. So whatever this thing is, it’s been locked up in an underground containment locker that’s kept secret and below ground, and you can’t even get into it without authorization from the O5’s. That’s intriguing.
Otherwise, this is pretty unremarkable. Whatever this thing is, it likely isn’t alive or sapient, as the procedures amount to ‘keep it securely locked up and don’t let anyone who doesn’t have approval from the highest see it’. There’s nothing about feeding it or cleaning it or monitoring its health or even just keeping an eye on it in there.
We’ll come back to that later.
And now, the description:
SCP-7790 denotes the remains of a humanoid automaton of unknown origin, most of which was previously located within an abandoned factory in Matanuska-Susitna Borough, Alaska.
I guess that explains the photo.
SCP-7790 is partially functional. At random times, the anomaly will become active and simultaneously do the following before deactivating:
Broadcast a series of radio transmissions through its speakers;
Spontaneously manifest and demanifest a set of unrelated objects within a 100m radius;
Violently rub the floor with its feet.
SCP-7790's back is heavily damaged, although the word "DIVISION" can still be seen visibly burned onto its surface.
That also explains the procedures. This thing isn’t fully functional, it’s not destructive or dangerous and it’s not alive or sapient, so they can keep it locked up without really caring what happens to it beyond making sure that only approved personnel can see it.
Keep this in mind for later as well, though.
But OK, now we know what we’re dealing with: a broken, but partially-functional android that broadcasts radio transmissions, manifests and demanifests unrelated objects, and rubs the floor with its feet.
…yeah, not gonna lie, that last one is kinda weird.
So, now we get an addendum of notable transmissions, made in 1989. That is, I think the *addendum* was added in 1989, not that all the transmissions were heard in 1989. Let’s look at the first one, which was accompanied by a manifested English muffin, lightly buttered.
(…I played bass for Manifested English Muffin.)
(A female voice can be heard.)
[00:00] — "Welcome to the SCP Foundation. I'll be performing your orientation today."
(Silence. This is followed by a wet, squelching noise.)
[00:12] — "The initials stand for Secure, Contain, Protect."
(The squelching noise keeps increasing in volume before ceasing entirely.)
[00:20] — "Or Special Containment Procedures."
(Somebody is heard pouring water. Gargles are heard before the transmission falls silent.)
[00:29] — "We do both things. We secure things, contain things, protect things. We also make special containment procedures."
(The transmission speeds up.)
[00:43] — "May I suggest the donut? Those croissants seem a bit outdated."
(The sound of a man coughing and choking can be heard.)
[00:49] — "Mhm. Okay."
(A soft object can be heard being tucked onto a bag. A laugh track can be heard intertwined with this noise.)
[00:56] — "That's a good pick. So we're both off to a good start, I see? Good. Welcome to the SCP Foundation."
(SCP-7790 ceases activity as a jazzy tune is heard.)
That explains the title. But this is a bit odd, to say the least. Despite this being an orientation, the woman never says what the Foundation secures, contains and protects. And there’s the other obvious takeaway- the weird noises that come with the transmission. A squelching noise? A laugh track? A jazzy tune? That’s just off.
(Honestly, to digress for a second, what this mainly reminded me of is Ultra Ruin from Pokemon Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon. Good times.)
But aside from that, this one’s not that remarkable. Now, let’s look at the second one, which was accompanied by an unopened box of tissues.
(A robotic voice can be heard.)
[00:01] — TAPE FIVE, LESSON SIX. MEETING FELLOW PERSONNEL.
(A female voice can be heard.)
[00:09] — "Before we begin the orientation, why don't we get to know each other?"
(Silence. This is followed by a buzzing sound.)
[00:15] — "I'll ask a few questions. In school, they call these icebreakers."
(The buzzing noise keeps increasing in volume before ceasing entirely.)
[00:24] — "I'm going to break open the ice around your heads to get to the meat inside."
(Laughing is heard.)
[00:33] — "Yeah, that's a good punchline. Just kidding though."
[00:38] — "Well, to start it off, what's your favorite color? Everyone says blue, but that's just cause they don't know how pretty red is."
(The transmission slows down.)
[00:47] — "Oh, shit. Is that blood? I didn't mean it."
(The remainder of the transmission starts and stops erratically.)
[00:55] — "How many of y'all have ever had an alcohol problem? Drugs? Gambling? Give me something to work with here."
(A loud beeping sound is heard.)
[01:04] — "That's good. Addictions are perfectly healthy when you're working here. Keeps you nice and loyal."
[01:14] — "I think that's everything on my question list. I don't really need to learn anymore about you. I don't give enough of a shit. To be honest, you all could be cremated in smokestacks and I wouldn't care. I'd just send in a request for more of you. Because everyone's replaceable. Remember that. Just so you know."
(Silence.)
[01:34] — "Oh, am I oversharing? Sorry."
(SCP-7790 ceases activity.)
Well, that’s really goddamn disturbing. I realise that there’s obviously missing audio (and it’s not like we can see what’s happening), but how the hell did we get from ‘red is a pretty colour’ to ‘whoops, someone’s bleeding’? And wanting your new employees to have addiction problems? We’re getting into dark territory, people, even without the bit where whoever’s giving this orientation is a massive dick.
So, let’s go to the next transmission, which is even goddamn darker! And just to ram that home, it’s accompanied by a broken, rusted electric shock bracelet.
(A female voice can be heard.)
[00:00] — "And here's where we have our guys."
[00:07] — "We put numbers on them, shave them, feed them, supply them."
(Silence.)
[00:16] — "In exchange, they let us do our tests on them."
(Long pause.)
(The sound of a man vomiting is heard.)
[00:23] — "What's wrong?"
(A male voice begins to speak.)
[00:25] — "Oh, Jesus Christ. That-"
(The female interrupts them.)
[00:28] — "Yeah, that's fine. Don't be such a baby."
[00:33] — "Don't worry about it. They'll be gone by the end of the month so you don't have to bother seeing them that often."
[00:38] — "They're criminals. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth."
(A cracking noise is heard, followed by the sound of a man weeping.)
[00:42] — "It's not wise to get too close."
(More silence. After 20 seconds, the screaming stops.)
[01:05] — "You don't need to care what happens to them. I mean, Hermann here is a POW. Isn't that something?"
(The man answers. Their voice is hoarse.)
[01:09] — "It definitely is."
(Following this, SCP-7790 ceases activity.)
I’m going to add in the next one before I comment- it was accompanied by a bottle of ‘1960’s Class-F amnestics’. Just keep that in mind for later, OK?
(A female voice can be heard. Their voice is soothing.)
[00:00] — "Pick up the white pill."
[00:07] — "Don't worry. It's strawberry-flavored. It tastes really, really good."
(Silence.)
[00:16] — "Trust me."
(Long pause.)
(A male voice can be heard.)
[00:21] — "I…"
(The female attempts to calm them.)
[00:23] — "Shh, shh, shh, shh… It's okay. Just take it. And swallow it. It's not that bad."
(Silence.)
(Wet, guttural noises are heard.)
(The female continues.)
[00:36] — "That's how you do it."
(More silence. After 16 seconds, a swallowing sound can be heard.)
[00:54] — "Good, good. That's how it goes."
[01:02] — "That's how we all do it here. With those amnesiacs. You'll be okay. Just learn how to do it with those people."
(A lullaby can be heard coming from the transmission. The tune is distorted and seems to cut at random intervals.)
[01:27] — "Here concludes your monthly amnesiac orientation program. We wish you a very pleasant night."
(A jazzy tune plays before cutting midway.)
(Following this, SCP-7790 ceases activity.)
So, to me, these two confirm the rather obvious- that this orientation happened a long time ago. They call amnestics ‘amnesiacs’, and they’re using prisoners of war as D-class instead of people on death row. There’s also the line about how they’ll be gone by the end of the month, which feels like a call-back to the older Foundation entries, when the D-class all got executed at the end of each month if they weren’t already dead by then. There’s another thing that I’ve concluded, but I’ll come back to it.
Time for the next transmission, which was accompanied by a broken coffee mug with a cold melted marshmallow in the bottom.
(A female voice can be heard.)
[00:00] — "And over here is the most important room in the entire facility."
[00:07] — "The rec room. I think we'll take a break from the tour here. You seem pretty thirsty."
(The sound of rushing wind is heard.)
[00:18] — "There's a ton of choices for drinks. Wait, wait. I'll make you some hot chocolate."
[00:17] — "I know a great recipe."
(A dehydrated, deep-voiced, low-pitched man begins speaking slowly.)
[00:26] — "…Oh, thank you. That sure sounds nice. Did my mother ever make you hot chocolate, Evelyn?"
(Silence. The woman from before begins speaking.)
[00:34] — "No. No, she didn't. You never had a mother."
[00:41] — "Don't you… Don't you remember?"
[00:48] — "All your life, you've been living in this place. With us. You've always been."
(Silence.)
[00:58] — "Remember that. You should drink your cocoa though, or it'll get cold."
(Short pause. Sipping can be heard. Following this, static plays over the background.)
(The transmission falls silent for 15 seconds before continuing. The sound of a cup smashing is heard in the background.)
[01:05] — "Are you all rested up yet?"
[01:13] — "I see. Good. Now let's check out those missing fingers of yours."
(Footsteps can be heard before SCP-7790 ceases activity.)
Well, that’s weird. Why would the Foundation want a new staff member to think he was living there all his life? (Of course, I’m assuming that’s what they want him to think, given that we just saw him taking an amnestic. I’ll come back to this later as well.)
Aaaaand now it’s time to get even darker. The following transmission was accompanied by a pair of white gloves.
(A female voice can be heard.)
[00:02] — "Let's get into the meat and potatoes. The big C. Containment. What working here actually looks like. When you're here, the key thing to remember is-"
(Thirty seconds of static.)
[00:33] — "Make an incision right there."
(Forty seconds of an individual reading from the book 1984.)
[01:14] — "Don't touch that dial now!"
(Silence. The scene repeats once again. This is followed by four minutes of the sound of rat feet scratching the floor.)
[06:17] — "You've got to find something lucky and stick with it."
(Approximately two and a half minutes of the sound of something burning.)
[08:49] — "No. No. Those cuts are too deep."
(Thirty seconds of a woman yodeling. The sound is heavily distorted.)
[09:21] — "Excellent for a beginner. Everything should be clear now."
(A man vomits. Guttural noises can be heard.)
…last I checked, containment didn’t usually involve cutting things. Or 1984, the sound of rat feet or things burning.
Also, for anyone wondering, ‘don’t touch that dial now’ was an old phrase used back in the days when TV’s didn’t have remote controls, you changed the channels by way of dial knobs. Basically, it was used before commercial breaks, like saying ‘We’ll be back soon, so don’t change the channel’. (And it might also be a possible shoutout to SCP-5935? I don’t know.)
Time to get darker with the next transmission, which was accompanied by gums that contained 13 teeth of varying sizes.
(A female voice can be heard.)
[00:00] — "Howard."
(Silence.)
[00:04] — "Howard. The scalpel, please. There's a lot of that nasty, white gunk again."
(A metallic clink is heard, followed by a wet sound. A muffled scream is heard in the background.)
[00:13] — "Okay, that's a smooth cut. I think we're done with the mouth here."
[00:23] — "First day's the hardest, right? You'll get used to it. Just give me a hand and you'll eventually get the hang of this."
(A loud click is heard.)
[00:44] — "Jesus Christ. Those dirty eyeballs are full of calcium and roots."
[00:52] — "Howard. If you don't mind."
(Silence.)
[01:34] — "Thank you. You're learning fast."
(SCP-7790 ceases activity.)
Approximate Timespan: 1 minute and 37 seconds.
Additional Notes: Following this transmission, SCP-7790 proceeded to open its chest cavity and eject a pulsating teratoma. The teratoma's surface was covered with teeth and a thin layer of calcium.
…I’ll take ‘things that should not be in eyeballs’ for 500, Alex. Honestly, I don’t have a lot to add to this one, except ew.
This next one was accompanied by a small red umbrella.
(A female voice can be heard.)
[00:00] — "I know."
[00:04] — "But it's unique. Look. This is one of the things that you'll find in this job."
(Rustling paper is heard.)
[00:08] — "Remember the word. From that movie."
(A chuckle is heard. Following this, a deep-voiced man is heard talking.)
[00:12] — "Super… Superkale… I- Uh. What was I saying?"
(The sound of rain is heard. The storm is intense.)
[00:20] — "It… It was a word. Supercalifornia? No, no. It's much more lively than that. Not so American.
(Ripping paper is heard, followed by a dripping sound.)
[00:34] — "It's… It was Polish. Or Finnish, I think."
[00:43] — "Superhaltist. Suprafragalta. Soupstone. What… What was it?"
(The man begins to slowly hyperventilate.)
[00:52] — "Oh my god. I can't… I can't remember. It was there. I could remember… Back, back then. But then they took it away from me. They pulled it away. They…"
(The transmission falls silent for 7 seconds before continuing, now dripping noises resonating across the background.)
(A high-pitched, animated woman begins speaking.)
[00:57] — "…ocious! Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious, if you say it loud enough you'll always sound precocious! Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!"
(The female voice from before can be heard.)
[01:13] — "I'm impressed you couldn't remember something like this, after so much time. Especially when this is not your first day."
(The man can be heard speaking again.)
[01:19] — "Oh, right. Haha, alright. That was it, alrighty.
(Silence.)
[01:26] — "Thank you, I guess?"
(SCP-7790 ceases activity.)
Well, that’s disturbing. Not only does the guy seem to be losing either his mind, his memory or both, but that mention of ‘after so much time’ and ‘this is not your first day’ is kind of weird. We’ll come back to that.
The next one was accompanied by a pencil.
(A female voice can be heard.)
[00:01] — "Most of the job is repetition. Once we've developed concrete protocol, we just continue using it."
(Static plays.)
[00:08] — "Thinking doesn't enter in the picture. Only repetition and procedures do, because thinking doesn't produce anything. For example, you need to sign your name right now."
[00:15] — "Eventually we'll fully automate it, like in that Harlan Ellison story. But for now, we're stuck with you. And that means you've got to learn."
(Static plays.)
[00:26] — "Learn to numb yourself, not think, turn off your brain, autopilot, whatever you want to call it. Figuring out how to turn your eyes and brain to ash and how to forget that a child has a life. Living in an infinite present without context or morality, sociology, ethics, temporality. All of those words are made up things and just learn to ignore them."
[00:45] — "Even learning to ignore the pain. Because pain is another one of those things. It's made up. And because there's no room for humanity while on the job."
(Static plays.)
[00:49] — "It's not too hard. All you need to do is to sign your name on the dotted line."
(Silence.)
[00:58] — "Yes, I know about your fingers. What do you want me to do about it?"
(Silence.)
[01:08] — "Good. I see promise in you. Okay."
(SCP-7790 ceases activity.)
Before anyone asks, no, I don’t know which Harlan Ellison story she’s talking about. Dude had one hell of a bibliography.
Anyway, beside that, this is getting even more fucked up, because it sounds like this part of the Foundation was trying to turn its employees into sociopaths, or something like it. They couldn’t automate the job, so they wanted their employees to become- not just become, to turn themselves into- the human equivalent of robots. Is it that the job routinely dealt with such horrifying things that it was the best way to cope? Is it that whoever is in charge feels that employees who transformed themselves in this manner are easier to control/work with/use? Is it that this part of the Foundation has taken a ‘the end justifies the means’ stance, and wants all of its employees to echo it? Or is it just that since they can’t use robots, they’ve settled for making their employees as robotic as they can?
This next one was accompanied by a wooden chair.
(A female voice can be heard.)
[00:01] — "So, let's go down to the next interview question. This is an optional one, but …"
[00:04] — "Do you believe in… God? Jesus? Allah? Whatever you call it."
(Silence.)
(A male voice can be heard.)
[00:09] — "I…"
(The female from before cuts them off.)
[00:14] — "If you're uncomfortable, we can skip it. It's not important. I'm just curious."
(Rapid taps can be heard upon a table.)
(The male voice is heard again, sounding nervous.)
[00:19] — "I don't know. I- I think I'm agn-"
(Rustling paper is heard.)
(The female interrupts again.)
[00:22] — "That's quite concerning."
[00:28] — "Like, uh. We have to believe in something. That's just how nature works."
[00:31] — "Because… You know. There's always something watching over something. Caring for something."
(A loud thump is heard.)
[00:37] — "A mother watching over her baby. An engineer watching over his machines. A dictator watching over his people."
(Silence.)
[00:40] — "…I watch over you."
(Short pause.)
[00:44] — "Isn't it fascinating? I mean, it sounds kinda wholesome. It also is… To know that we're all the same in some way. A leech not being different from a human mind, soul and body; a mass of maggots gnawing over a corpse, not being different from a city full of human people? It's… It's engaging, in a way. So, uh… What was I saying before?"
(Silence. The man begins hyperventilating.)
[00:52] — "Uhm. Right."
(Long pause. The sound of a burning fire resonates in the background.)
(The female continues.)
[00:55] — "You need to believe in something. For your own good."
[00:59] — "Because there's something above, that needs to be believed in. In exchange for its care, and its love."
(Silence.)
[01:04] — "A god loves his church, and, uh… I hope you know where I'm going, uh huh. Yeah, I've done so much for you."
(Chittering can be heard. The woman continues.)
[01:10] — "I can be that something you… You never had. You know?"
(More silence.)
[01:14] — "Just don't think all I'm saying is a fetish or something. It's more normal than you'd think."
(Following this, SCP-7790 ceases activity.)
The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
And finally, we get the last transmission. It was accompanied by a Foundation Level 1 Access Card, irreparably damaged and the owner’s identity unknown.
(A female voice can be heard.)
[00:02] — "So, what have we learned? I'll break it down for you."
[00:13] — "You've learned about how to get rid of the what doesn't belong."
[00:25] — "You've learned your place in the world."
[00:44] — "You've figured out what things you need and what things you don't."
[01:00] — "You know just how deep to cut with a scalpel."
[01:06] — "I hope you've figured out the difference between people and disposables."
[01:24] — "How to do your job and not ask questions."
(Silence.)
[01:40] — "Have you learned how much we love you?"
(Approximately one hour of static intermingled with the sound of crickets chirping. Following this, a male voice can be heard. Their speech is slow and halting.)
[1:00:56] — "…I have."
(The female speaks.)
[1:01:30] — "And that concludes our orientation. Welcome to the Department of Abnormalities."
Soylent Green is people the butler did it Darth Vader is his father It was Abnormalities all along! *dun dun dun*
Part Two: Deep SCP Analysis
So, when we left off, we'd just discovered that this orientation took place in the Department of Abnormalities. But of course, there’s the obvious question for the uninitiated: what, pray tell, is the Department of Abnormalities? Well, there’s this very handy explanation right here, but if you don’t feel like reading it, I’ll sum it up for you.
The Department of Abnormalities is one of the SCP Foundation’s more… esoteric plots. In essence, the base idea is that there’s this department, the Department of Abnormalities, that operates/exists in secret, without most of the rest of the Foundation knowing about it. From there, it kind of branches a bit- there isn’t really one universal take on the DOA’s story. Variants include:
-The DOA operated at least until the 1960’s, but since then has been defunct, a relic of the past that no one remembers or cares about.
-The DOA operates in the present day, but in total secrecy.
-The DOA is defunct, but was intentionally buried and kept secret as much as possible.
-The DOA is bees.
-The DOA was a kind of proto-Foundation which has since been abandoned, but basically did the same things as the Foundation does in the present day.
-The DOA handled things that were much worse than what the Foundation handles in the present day.
-The DOA is where the Foundation puts things that they want buried and forgotten about forever.
The other key factors are that whatever’s going on with the DOA, we (the readers) don’t get to know about it. We don’t get to know what’s really going on, how it happened, or how the department operates. Secrecy and omitted information are key here, and even when articles give you answers, they often just feel like more questions in themselves, and you can mull them over for hours and get no closer- or even further away- to the true nature of the DOA.
And here’s the really important one: the Foundation keeps discovering/retrieving old things that the DOA contained, but while they might log and record them, they never really investigate them. The Foundation is strangely reluctant to really look into the DOA, but at the same time, they don’t go out of their way to rebury what they find. It’s like they’re saying ‘Oooh, look at this weird stuff we found that seems to have a lot of significance to this weird Department that isn’t around anymore. Sure would be a shame if someone investigated it. We’re not going to investigate or offer any assistance, but if you want to, knock yourself out’.
So, now that we have that context, it’s time to look at this SCP again, and I’ll point out things that I didn’t mention before. Also, Abrethe told me two key facts here: first, in this ‘verse, the DOA has been defunct for some time. We don’t know what happened to it, we just have a damaged automaton that transmits weird, mangled recordings of a time long-gone. (From a purely personal perspective, after reading all of this, I’m imagining the DOA in the present day as a Lost-type bunker full of dead people and broken robots/androids, with one single functioning transmitter that’s sending out the recording- maybe because they hit the wrong button, maybe they got interrupted while sending the message, or, to be more dramatic, maybe whoever sent it got killed as they were trying to call for help. But that’s just my idea, and it’s not like we’ll ever know.) And second, in most of the transmissions (but not all), we’re dealing with the same two characters: Evelyn, who’s giving the orientation, and Howard, the new guy with no fingers, so that does simplify things a bit.
All right. First off, the containment class: it’s been registered as Pending, but this is obviously a Safe anomaly. It doesn’t try to breach containment, it’s barely functional, and from what we know, ignoring the transmissions won’t lead to anything happening. After being contained for this long, it should be obvious by now that it’s a Safe anomaly, and yet it’s been left as Pending. Why is that? Would marking it as Safe make it more visible? Does someone feel that being associated with the DOA makes it dangerous? By leaving it as Pending, does someone want future researchers to look into why it hasn’t been given an official classification and discover the DOA? I don’t know, but this feels like a very deliberate choice.
Second, the containment procedures. You could lock this thing in a standard locker or room in a normal site, and it’d be fine. Even if you consider the transmissions, you could put it in a soundproofed room with a recording device and a camera on the wall, and it’d be fine. Keep the ‘only level 5 personnel can access it’ part, sure, but you don’t need to go to this extent. And yet someone had this thing locked up below ground in a really secret box. A bit much, hmm?
Third, the description. I’ll take it bit by bit.
SCP-7790 denotes the remains of a humanoid automaton of unknown origin, most of which was previously located within an abandoned factory in Matanuska-Susitna Borough, Alaska.
OK, so what does it look like? Was it made to resemble a specific person? What parts of it are missing? Are there any distinguishing features? Was anything like this made by the Foundation? Has the Foundation tried to track down its origins? How was it found? Who found it? Why were they in an abandoned factory in buttfuck nowhere, Alaska? Do we know anything about the factory? Was the factory in a town, or just by itself? Does the Foundation have any sites or dealings in Ma-Su? Was there anything unusual about the environs? Could there be a DOA site below the factory, for instance? How big is Batista’s dick?
These are all valid questions, but we don’t get answers. It seems to me like in-universe, whoever wrote this put in the bare minimum information and intentionally refrained from doing any research or providing anything they didn’t have to put in.
SCP-7790 is partially functional. At random times, the anomaly will become active and simultaneously do the following before deactivating:
Again, how badly is it damaged? Do we have any idea what this automaton’s purpose was? Does/did it have weapons or armour? Has anyone tried to fix it? Is the damage even repairable? Or has the Foundation just left it there while carefully not trying to investigate it at all?
- Broadcast a series of radio transmissions through its speakers;
- Spontaneously manifest and demanifest a set of unrelated objects within a 100m radius;
- Violently rub the floor with its feet.
Where do the transmissions come from? Has anyone tried to find out? Are the transmissions all being recorded? Is the Foundation only recording/keeping recordings of certain transmissions? Does anyone know how it manifests the objects? Any clue about the feet thing?
(I’m pretty sure that last one will be the subtitle on Quentin Tarantino’s eventual biography.)
SCP-7790's back is heavily damaged, although the word "DIVISION" can still be seen visibly burned onto its surface.
So, Abrethe told me that this automaton was owned by some division of the DOA. What division, I do not know. Maybe they had one to routinely transmit recordings of their orientations full of weird extraneous noises to damaged automatons in Alaska- hey, I don’t kink-shame. Much.
Now, let’s look at the transmissions again. First up is the introduction. I’m still not sure why Evelyn didn’t explain about the anomalous, but the best guess I’ve got is that Howard may not have been introduced to the anomalous yet- or might have only just been introduced- so Evelyn is trying to ease him in gently.
Abrethe also filled me in on this a bit: a lot of the supplementary stuff, like the English muffin and the sound of gurgling water, are meant to suggest that this took place somewhere that people eat in, like a cafeteria. You can sit down, pick your food, chat over a meal- seems like a good place to start an orientation in, right? But, there’s another factor: you see cafeterias in sitcoms fairly often. And the laugh track and jazzy tune seem like something out of a sitcom, right? But as to why they’re there… well, I’ll give you this direct quote from Abrethe:
As a disclaimer: a huge part of this article relies on aesthetic and approach. It was mostly inspired by Local58, lost media, VHS; you know that fuss. Every noise, every broken part of the recording makes sense and has some sort of explanation, but it also doesn't. At the end of the day, the anomaly is broken.
Before I continue, there’s one more bit I’d like to call attention to.
[00:43] — "May I suggest the donut? Those croissants seem a bit outdated."
(The sound of a man coughing and choking can be heard.)
[00:49] — "Mhm. Okay."
(A soft object can be heard being tucked onto a bag. A laugh track can be heard intertwined with this noise.)
[00:56] — "That's a good pick. So we're both off to a good start, I see? Good. Welcome to the SCP Foundation."
At first I thought this was simple- they’re in the middle of nowhere, so they might not get fresh food that often, or maybe nobody’s checked the croissants in a while. But this is a transmission from God knows where, so they may not be in the middle of nowhere after all. And the line about 'we’re both off to a good start’ gave me another idea: namely, that this might be a test. For all we know, there’s nothing wrong with the croissants, it’s about obedience. They want people who’ll go with the donuts because it was suggested to them, not people who’ll go for the croissants (or whatever else they have there) because that’s what they want. So when Evelyn says they’re both off to a good start, she means that Howard A, got a donut (let’s be real, that’s always going to be a plus), and B, is the type that’s more likely to succeed in the DOA, while she got someone who doesn’t seem too strong-willed.
Second is the ‘icebreaker’ transmission. The obvious takeaway here is that whoever’s doing this one A, absolutely should not be doing orientations, and B, is extremely uninterested and uncaring about the new recruits. But, let’s go back to this bit:
[01:14] — "I think that's everything on my question list. I don't really need to learn anymore about you. I don't give enough of a shit. To be honest, you all could be cremated in smokestacks and I wouldn't care. I'd just send in a request for more of you. Because everyone's replaceable. Remember that. Just so you know."
This was included as part of a lesson about meeting fellow personnel. Why? Well… it’s because frankly, the DOA doesn’t give a shit about people. They routinely mistreat and abuse people as part of their job. Their employees are disposable, and aren't even meant to act like people- the DOA wants them to discard things like morality and empathy. It’s all par for the course with them.
Aside from that, the other thing that does make sense is the addictions part. Given that the DOA operates in secrecy, I can absolutely see them wanting personnel to have addictions, and even fostering and encouraging said addictions to keep the personnel loyal and have something to hold over them, especially if they’re supplying the personnel with drugs or whatever they’re addicted to. It’s not like they actually care about their employees’ well-being, after all.
Third is the shock bracelet transmission. Abrethe pointed out something I missed: namely that ‘prisoner of war’ doesn’t necessarily equal someone who committed war crimes, it can also mean someone who was simply participating in a war, whether in a combat or non-combat role. (It even applies to some civilians who have non-combat support roles with a military force.) So that plays into what we just saw: the DOA doesn’t care about people. They use POWs as D-class because they view people as inherently disposable, and presumably POWs were easy to acquire whenever and wherever this took place.
So, yeah, we have an entire department of arseholes here.
Fourth is the amnestic transmission. Now, consider these two lines:
"That's how we all do it here. With those amnesiacs.
"Here concludes your monthly amnesiac orientation program.
So, the DOA appears to be regularly dosing their employees, but why? Well, there’s a couple of hints here. First is the object that was manifested with this transmission- a bottle of Class-F amnestics. The second is the one notable part of the fifth transmission, the hot chocolate transmission:
[00:34] — "No. No, she didn't. You never had a mother."
[00:41] — "Don't you… Don't you remember?"
[00:48] — "All your life, you've been living in this place. With us. You've always been."
Here’s the description of Class-F amnestics from the guide.
As with the old Class F, these amnestics induce a Fugue State, or dissociative amnesia, in the subject. The subject will forget their identity and may either be provided with a new one by the amnestics officer, or allowed to develop one on their own.
It’s not just memory loss, the DOA is actively using amnestics to change their employees into new people. So, that raises a new question: is this orientation for someone completely new to the DOA, or are they an old employee who’s done this before? Is it DOA policy to just mind-wipe their employees every so often? It would explain at least part of why they’re so cavalier about how they treat people, since it’s kind of hard to care about someone if you know they’re going to get amnesticised into a whole new person in a few weeks.
Transmissions six and seven are the ‘incision’ and ‘eyeballs’ transmissions, respectively. There’s not really much I can add, honestly, except that 1984 as a reference does make sense given that a big part of that book is about dehumanization and manipulation.
Eight is the Mary Poppins transmission. There’s a couple of bits to bring up here.
[00:52] — "Oh my god. I can't… I can't remember. It was there. I could remember… Back, back then. But then they took it away from me. They pulled it away. They…"
[01:13] — "I'm impressed you couldn't remember something like this, after so much time. Especially when this is not your first day."
The poor fucker’s in the middle of losing his memories, and that second one seems to suggest that this isn’t his first time around. (Hello, Antimemetics!) So, it seems very likely that he’s done this before. I’ll come back to that in a second.
Ninth is the ‘repetition’ transmission. With the reveal that this took place in the DOA, it does kind of make sense that they’d treat their employees like that, given the general requirement of secrecy and the implication that they’re dealing with things beyond the norm for the Foundation. But after reading this again, I have to wonder something: if the DOA wants its employees to be as close to robots as they can be, are they routinely mind-wiping them so that each time, they can instill a more subservient and emotionless personality than the last? Does everyone who joins the DOA get mind-wiped, or just a certain few? Is Howard here a test subject, or the norm? I don’t know.
Besides all that, I’d like to point out this bit at the end.
[00:49] — "It's not too hard. All you need to do is to sign your name on the dotted line."
(Silence.)
[00:58] — "Yes, I know about your fingers. What do you want me to do about it?"
(Silence.)
[01:08] — "Good. I see promise in you. Okay."
Since he has no fingers, it’s obviously kind of hard for Howard to sign his name. And yet, Evelyn obviously doesn’t care, and she’s not trying to help him out. There’s two explanations here: first, I’ll give you a quote from Abrethe.
The takeaway from most of the human interactions seen throughout the whole article is that mundane things don't have a place in the DoA, and anything that is weird is generally just mundane to them. It doesn't matter whether you have ten fingers missing because it is normal to whoever is speaking on the recordings.
And it also plays into the general lack of empathy, as Howard obviously needs some help. But that plays into the second explanation, which is my interpretation: this is another test- maybe of Howard’s new personality, or just of Howard in general. I really doubt that the DOA wants employees who give up at the first hurdle or wait for other people to do things for them- it wants people who can come up with solutions. So by improvising a way to hold a pen without fingers, Howard’s showing that he has what it takes. Maybe.
Tenth is the ‘belief’ transmission. It seems to play into that one line from the last transmission about ‘how much we love you’. And honestly, it feels a bit cult-like, but that makes sense. After all, the DOA is very secret. I don’t know if employees are allowed to live outside, or have families. It’s entirely possible that they have to stay there and only ever see their coworkers. People would get pretty lonely, you know? So it makes sense that the DOA would try to foster a sense of community and love among its employees- both for morale and to keep them loyal-, even if it’s still really fuckin’ weird. (Also, Abrethe confirmed that Evelyn either does have a fetish, or she has a god-complex. So that’s great!)
And finally, we get the last transmission. It really feels incredibly cult-like, especially these lines.
[00:25] — "You've learned your place in the world."
[00:44] — "You've figured out what things you need and what things you don't."
[01:06] — "I hope you've figured out the difference between people and disposables."
[01:40] — "Have you learned how much we love you?"
And that just leaves me with more questions- what exactly have we been witnessing here? A recruit being shown around a new job, or someone being initiated into a cult? Someone’s first advent into the Foundation, or yet another ‘first day’ for someone who’d been mind-wiped and had their personality rewritten more times than they can count? A genuine orientation for a new employee, or a field test of a new identity? Will we ever know? How long did it go on for? How many people did it happen to? And finally, what happened to the DOA?
I dare say we’ll never find out.
Thank you for reading this declass. I hope you enjoyed it. Investigate new jobs before you accept the offer, just to be sure. I'll see you next time.
tl;dr: The Department of Abnormalities were some spooky motherfuckers.