SCP-SPDR-J
rating: +44+x

NO SPIDERS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS FILE

Spider-J.jpg

Physical description of SCP-SPDR-J according to Researcher Jenner

Item #: SCP-SPDR-J

Object Class: I felt something touch my foot

Special Containment Procedures: Sightings of SCP-SPDR-J are not a big deal, and do not need to be reported. Should SCP-SPDR-J be encountered in the office of Researcher Jenner, no action is to be taken unless Jenner happens to notice it because trust me, she will make it everyone's problem until MTF Ω-9 (Paperboys) manages to extract SCP-SPDR-J with a newspaper and a glass jar. Capture is to be performed with caution, like could you imagine that thing scittering up your arm1.

Following an encounter with SCP-SPDR-J, Researcher Jenner is to be escorted into the site break room, and convinced SCP-SPDR-J has been removed from the site premises.

Description: SCP-SPDR-J is a small arachnid currently located somewhere in the premises of Site-67. SCP-SPDR-J usually exhibits behavior similar to other web building spiders, with the notable exception of being able to utilize teleportation to avoid predators.

This ability is almost exclusively used in a situation where Researcher Jenner spots SCP-SPDR-J, and exits the room to either seek help or a tool to neutralize it with. Upon returning to the room, SCP-SPDR-J will have disappeared, much to the horror of Researcher Jenner, upon which everyone within close proximity to Jenner's office usually have to stop their work to help her in order to have her calm the flip down.

SCP-SPDR-J was first encountered 14/5/2008 in Researcher Jenner's office by Researcher Stork who then pointed out the presence of the anomaly to Jenner, who immediately recognized the threat and proceeded to verbally set the alarm. SCP-SPDR-J's teleportation ability and its tendency to hide made confirming the presence of the anomaly very difficult, but several hours and many vocal alarms later the anomaly was contained in a glass jar and moved into the flowerbed outside where SCP-SPDR-J is assumed to reside to this day. Researcher Jenner was presented with an award for her quick response to the threat which no one cared about.


ADDENDUM SPDR-J.1:
VIDEO LOGS


VIDEO LOG/I


DATE: 14/5/2008

NOTE: The following video log depicts the first encounter with SCP-SPDR-J.


[BEGIN LOG]

10:58: Researchers Jenner and Stork are conversing in Jenner's office. Stork's attention is caught by something moving next to a decorative SpongeBob SquarePants-clock which rests on a small table located in the corner of the office.

10:59: Researcher Stork identifies the movement as a spider, and points it out to Researcher Jenner who proceeds to stand up and retreat to the corner farthest away from the spider.

11:00: Researcher Stork moves to the spider and pretends to catch it in his fist. He then approaches Researcher Jenner with his fist clenched shut and his arm stretched forward, encouraging Jenner to view the spider. Jenner begins screaming and begging Stork to get away.

11:01: Stork laughs and informs Jenner that the spider is still on the table. Researcher Savos enters the room to investigate the reason for Jenner's distressed vocalization. Jenner screams and runs out of the office.

11:02: Stork is unable to locate the spider again. Stork and Savos laugh and exit the room.

[END LOG]

VIDEO LOG/II


DATE: 14/5/2008

NOTE: Researcher Jenner had returned to her office nearly an hour later after having been convinced that SCP-SPDR-J was no longer present in her office.


[BEGIN LOG]

11:54: Researcher Jenner is seen sitting by her desk.

12:15: Jenner spots SCP-SPDR-J standing still next to the foot of her desk. Jenner immediately jumps from her seat and runs out of the office room while screaming.

12:16: Researcher Jenner returns to the office armed with a rolled up newspaper, only to discover SCP-SPDR-J is no longer where it was last seen. Jenner looks around her before running out of the room again.

12:18: Jenner returns along with researchers Stork and Savos, who she demands to locate SCP-SPDR-J. The two researchers agree so they could get back to work.

[The researchers spend the next 13 minutes searching for SCP-SPDR-J to no avail.]

12:32: Researcher Jenner leaves the room once more, informing she won't be returning until SCP-SPDR-J is contained.

14:49: SCP-SPDR-J is seen crawling from under a potted cactus. Researcher Savos attempts to swat it with a rolled up newspaper, but SCP-SPDR-J avoids the blow by teleporting away.

14:51: Researcher Jenner begins screaming incoherently in the break room, loudly reporting a spider having crawled near her foot.

14:52: Researcher Stork attempts to capture SCP-SPDR-J in a glass jar while trying not to harm it. SCP-SPDR-J makes no attempt to teleport, and is successfully contained.

[END LOG]


Afterword: SCP-SPDR-J was brought outside of the building so Jenner could stop hyperventilating, and we could get back to work. We're lucky Dr. West caught no hint of this, he'd actually kick our asses for spider hunting during work time.

Interview Log

Interviewee: Researcher Jenner

Interviewer: Researcher Stork

Foreword: Researcher Jenner was interviewed after the capture of SCP-SPDR-J to make sure she can return to her work station.


[BEGIN LOG]

Researcher Stork: Alright calm down, it's gone now.

Researcher Jenner: Do you promise?

Researcher Stork: Yeah, we took it outside. Were you that scared of a spider? I'm sure it was more scared of you than you were of it.

Researcher Jenner: It was huge and disgusting!!

Researcher Stork: No it wasn't. It was pretty small for a spider. Looked like a young barn funnel weaver2 to me.

Researcher Jenner: I don't care what it is. It's gone now, it's gone.

Researcher Stork: Did we mention it could teleport?

Researcher Jenner: Gasp, what!?

Researcher Stork: Yeah that's how it avoided getting splattered by a newspaper, and moved over to you. I think it liked you.

Researcher Jenner: Wha- I- where did you take it!?

Researcher Stork: Over to the flowerbed just outside.

Researcher Jenner: But- what if it comes back?

Researcher Stork: Yeah, maybe it's already here.

Researcher Jenner: Shut up!!

Researcher Stork: Looking down on us from the ceiling with his 8 lil eyes…

Researcher Jenner: Shut up!!

Researcher Stork: Maybe the one that almost ate you in the break room wasn't even the same one we spent 2 hours looking for.

Researcher Jenner begins to sob.

Researcher Stork: Oh no, don't cry. I didn't mean to scare you that bad, I'm sorry.

Researcher Stork hugs Researcher Jenner.

[END LOG]


Afterword:
Goddamnit
— Dr. West

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