The following document was recovered from the archival storage of Foundation Site-S22. If you have any information regarding Site-S22 or the anomaly SCP-L105 report to your direct supervisor.
Secure. Contain. Protect.
For my whole life, I wanted to be seen.
For my whole life, I wanted to be heard.
I watched as men buckled and broke under the endless pressure of the neverending cycle of misfortune and pain. I watch as churches run dry and I watch as towers fall and I watch them build upon the ruins of fear.
I watch and I do nothing else.
The divine is a tasteless comic and I, the sole viewer in a theatre meant for everyone.
I hate these unfortold legends and I resent my eyes for seeing them. How much more bloodshed am I going to witness and how much more will it hurt? How much of me is going to survive and how much longer will I be aware of it? How rotten can the flesh get before it ceases to be flesh?
ITEM: SCP-L105
OBJECT CLASS: NEUTRAL
S.C. PROCEDURES: SCP-L105 is to be kept in a standard humanoid containment chamber.
They resent me. They just don't know how deep I resent myself. I dreamt many-a-time I was on my deathbed. There were people around. I think. They were laughing at me. Laughing at how little I have become. How weak I was.
I remember hearing the beep of the monitor speed up as my rage consumed me. I remember seeing their eyes. Their eyes. Their eyes. They were looking but I knew. I knew they were too blind to see me. Too blind to know what I was or what I was to become. What I had been. What I could have been. What I still am.
I laughed with them. But no matter how hard I tried, never at them.
Another night I dreamt I was an all powerful tyrant. My eunuchs and concubines worshipped me as if I was a God. I ordered my men to build a tower so tall that he who stood on top could see my works in complete. I gathered my concubines and my eunuchs and we climbed for forty days and forty nights. Atop the tower, looking down, my works… They were so small. So, insignificant. My concubines and my eunuchs laughed at me. They saw through my schemes and they knew what I was.
When we climbed down, I ordered my knights to take their heads. I watched them all perish but I did not enjoy a second of it. When I woke up, I was crying.
DESCRIPTION: SCP-L105 is the body of the former Foundation Researcher Dr. Leonard Nelson.
I looked into my mirror and my reflection was afraid of me. He shivered in horror. I don't even know if it was even a dream. In my waking hours, I felt this constant pull on me. As if my soul was attempting to leave me behind. I do not know why it would desire such obscene things. I do not know why I sometimes found myself almost wanting it to leave.
I know not why, but I knew I was a burden to myself.
I am so upset at everyone and everything. I hate and resent everyone and everything but I can never be sure because I do not know everything. But I know that if by some twisted dark miracle I was an omnipresent and omniscient being I would be a wrathful one. I have no proof of this. I trained myself to be a man of science and I failed.
Upon activation, SCP-L105 vanishes for approximately 24 hours. During this time, all Foundation personnel currently in Site-S22 report a feeling of being watched. At the end of the 24 hours, SCP-L105 returns to its containment chamber.
I hated it when people told me that it could be worse. They were right. Obviously. I could never possibly be the man who had it worst in life. Mothers lose their childeren to the gaping maw of war every day. I know within me that they have it worse than me. I know this because I am human. But I will never accept it. So long as my feet are on the ground.
I am in pain.
I want to tell them that my pain is the worst possible one. That they couldn't possibly understand it. That it was grander than the rest and that it was too much for anyone to handle. That I am in so much pain that I would rather shoulder the hurt of everyone else for a thousand years than to shoulder mine for one more day. But I know that is incorrect and that it is ridiculous.
I know for a fact that I will never accept it either. So I live, believing that I am at the worst possible point that anyone could be in and that the only way is up. I will get better because there is no possible way for me to get any worse. The sky will always be a little brighter and my morning coffee will be ever so slightly sweeter but no matter how small the progress would be, it would be progress.
In my field, we learn something very crucial to our work. Something we must always remind ourselves. Things don't exist just because you believe in them.
All effected individuals report that a sense of impending doom precedes the activation of SCP-L105. No actual harm has been caused by the anomaly to this day.
I am done. Sometimes you just have to follow your gut and find your way back home. Wherever it may be. I will find the man who put me here and I will make him see the things that I have seen. He will WITNESS the hurt, the pain, the neverending suffering I feel and watch and watch and watch.
Sometimes, you have to finish what you should never have started.
Blind is the man for God has shown him infinite mercy. How lucky you are, o ye of little faith… How lucky you are to have me, watching over your shoulder. How lucky you are that I am pained enough to endure the endless nightmare you put me in.
During activation events, all surveillance equipment within the confines of Site-S22 deactivate. When reactivated, all visual surveillance equipment show the interior of the containment chamber in which SCP-L105 is held. In all of them, SCP-L105 opens its eyes and closes them after 24 hours.
How lucky you are to have a witness.