Special Containment Procedures: SCP-DAVE-J is to be contained in a standard humanoid containment cell outfitted with two SCRANTON reality anchors. One anchor is to be active at all times, with the other serving as a backup. The cell should be powered with its own generator separate from the Foundation power grid in order to prevent outages.
Description: SCP-DAVE-J is a ~22 year old human male associated with the GOI "Gamers Against Weed." It exhibits potent ontokinetic abilities which have been shown to fluctuate in power based on SCP-DAVE-J's emotions.1
When its cell phone was confiscated and searched, chats on the Discord communication app were found under the username "Th4tGuyD4ve." Excerpt of interest visible below.
Discovery: On April 26th 20██, the police were dispatched to a home in █████, Florida after a woman filed a report that "there is a demon practicing witchcraft in my lawn!"2
Undercover Foundation operatives responded to the call where 22 year old Bill Davis was being questioned. Bill Davis was taken into Foundation custody under the suspicion of possible ontokinetic abilities. He was subsequently interviewed.
Interviewed: Bill Davis
Interviewer: Researcher Hunter Wells
Foreword:
<Begin Log>
H. Wells: Good afternoon.Bill Davis: Heyyyy.
H. Wells: Through what means did you transport those trees?
Bill Davis: Uhhh, magic. Can I have my phone back now?
H. Wells: No. Why did you transport seven endangered trees into Mrs. █████'s front yard?Bill Davis: Oh, yknow. She's the director of our [Expletive Expunged] HOA.
H. Wells: Hm.
Bill Davis: By the way, can I ask a favor?
H. Wells: You can ask, but I'm not sure we'll accept it.
Bill Davis: Can I have some weed?H. Wells: …No.
Bill Davis: Alright then. Have fun.
H. Wells: What does that mean?
Bill Davis: Oh, nothing.
<End Log>
Closing Statement: Shortly after the interview ended, the active SCRANTON reality anchor in the cell spontaneously shorted and ceased to function.
Addendum I: In the few moments while the backup reality anchor was starting up, SCP-DAVE-J began a DAVEK Class Restructuring Event. Individuals across the globe, regardless of any physical or mental attributes, began to believe their name is Dave, has always been Dave, and will never be anything but Dave. This phenomenon is referred to as SCP-DAVE-J-1.
Interviewed: Real name unknown.3
Interviewer: Dr. Goodwin
Foreword: Interview #017: Adult male affected by SCP-DAVE-J-1
<Begin Log>
Dr. Goodwin: Good morning sir. Could you please tell me what your name is?
Dave: Oh, it's Dave!
Dr. Goodwin: Alright. What's your last name?
Dave Dave: Dave. A great name, really.
Dr. Goodwin: …Do you have a middle name?
Dave D. Dave: Yep! It's Dave.
Dr. Goodwin: And you don't see anything weird about that?
Dave D. Dave: …No? What’s wrong with Dave D. Dave? I think it has a nice ring to it.
Dr. Goodwin: …Sure.
Dave D. Dave: By the way, what'd you say your name was?
Dr. Dave: Dr. Dave.
<End Log>
Closing Statement: How SCP-DAVE-J-1 spreads is still unknown.
Interviewed: SCP-DAVE-J
Interviewer: Researcher Dave Dave
Foreword: Another interview was conducted with SCP-DAVE-J in an attempt to uncover the cause for the reality anchor malfunction.
<Begin Log>
D. Dave: …SCP-DAVE-J.
SCP-DAVE-J: HAH! IT EVEN GOT YOUR NAMING SYSTEM!
D. Dave: How have you done this?
SCP-DAVE-J: Hmm?
D. Dave: You know what I mean. How did you overpower the reality anchor?
SCP-DAVE-J: Cause I wanted to.
D. Dave: That isn't an answer.
SCP-DAVE-J: I don't know dude, that's just the power of spite.
D. Dave: Why though? Just, what does this accomplish?
SCP-DAVE-J: It's funny!
SCP-DAVE-J laughs, Researcher Dave does not
D. Dave: Reactivating the reality anchor didn't undo… This.
SCP-DAVE-J: Mhm. Man, this headache is awful.
SCP-DAVE-J rubs his temples4
D. Dave: Undo it. Please.
SCP-DAVE-J: Oh yeah, sure! I'll need a favor though.
D. Dave: We are not giving you marijuana.
SCP-DAVE-J: Welp, have fun being Researcher Dave then, I guess.
<End Log>
Closing Statement: IUYGFVBNMIHUCNWO9E9HRCK39URWRWUE999999999999999999999999999
Addendum II: Regarding possible reconsideration of SCP-DAVE-J's initial request
| YAY | NAY | ABSTAIN | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Dave-1 | X | ||
| Dave-2 | X | ||
| Dave-3 | X | ||
| Dave-4 | X | ||
| Dave-5 | X | ||
| Dave-6 | X | ||
| Dave-7 | X | ||
| Dave-8 | X | ||
| Dave-9 | X | ||
| Dave-10 | X | ||
| Dave-11 | X | ||
| Dave-12 | X | ||
| Dave-13 | X |
Shortly after SCP-DAVE-J was provided with a small supply of Medical Cannabis, the restructuring event subsided.