rating: +198+x

Item #: SCP-damej-J

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-damej-J is to be contained in a soundproof cell outside of Site-19, pointed away from the building. In the event that SCP-damej-J starts firing towards Site-19, it is to be spun around so it is once again firing away. Personnel are required to wear level 7A ear protection while communicating with SCP-damej-J, as well as during testing.

Description: SCP-damej-J is a robotic automaton constructed out of wood and small pieces of twine. On its back is a sticker reader "tranfomr: robit is desguse, by researcher james age 101".

Unfortunately, despite its significant state of disrepair, SCP-damej-J is still able to function as originally designed; that is, it is able to shoot bullets and talk. Testing has shown that SCP-damej-J hurts to listen to and look at to an unusual degree.


Dr. Bill: Hello SCP-damej-J.

SCP-damej-J: i fir gun.

Dr. Bill: Excuse me?

SCP-damej-J: i bork so i fir gun heh, heh heh.

Dr. Bill: I see. How were you damaged?

SCP-damej-J: Fine.

Dr. Bill: …excuse me?

SCP-damej-J: heh, heh heh u don get it stopid doktr.

Dr. Bill: What's wrong with you?

SCP-damej-J: im damej, creh, creh creh.

Dr. Bill: (Aside) Why is he talking like that?

SCP-damej-J: cuz damej i bork heh, heh heh fir gun.

Dr. Bill: Why do you shoot bullets?

SCP-damej-J: im damej. i maek damej.

Dr. Bill: You keep saying "damej". What does that even mean?

SCP-damej-J: It's my name, and it's Ukranian.

Dr. Bill: Oh. Uh—

SCP-damej-J: heh heh heh warn u get triggr of peen gun.

Dr. Bill: What—

SCP-damej-J begins firing from its crotch. Dr. Bill expires before hitting the floor.

Testing Log:

Test: SCP-damej-J is set in front of a cow.

Result: SCP-damej-J shoots cow.

Notes: SCP-damej-J noted as saying "he he damej cow tase luk chkn".

Test: SCP-damej-J is tipped on its back.

Result: SCP-damej-J rights itself using gunfire from its rear.

Notes: It called it the "buttgun". - Dr. Pulse

Test: SCP-damej-J set in front of SCP-682.

Result: SCP-damej-J shoots SCP-682. SCP-682 expires.

Notes: …What. - Dr. Aktus

mor notz: he he he damej lizurd - damej robit

Audio Surveillance Recording: The following audio file was recovered after an attack by SCP-damej-J on Site-19 which left several site researchers injured and one doctor dead. Notably, the doctor almost managed to survive the attack, but was dispatched by SCP-damej-J's final, ultimate weapon.

WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT AND LOUD NOISES. If the player below will not function for you, you can access the audio via this link.

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