It is best not to make direct eye contact with SCP-@#%&!
Item #: SCP-@#%&!
Object Class: X
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-@#%&!’s containment cell is to be flooded with Dr. Bronner's brand peppermint soap in the event that SCP-@#%&!'s secondary effect exceeds containment capacity. SCP-@#%&!'s effect is currently in the process of being studied so that we might do away with it.
SCP-@#%&! creates new curse words every time it speaks.
Description: SCP-@#%&! is the designation given to a very rude bird capable of producing human speech despite its anatomy suggesting it would not possess such a capability.
SCP-@#%&! uses curse words almost exclusively. It is not known where SCP-@#%&! learned the words or why it chooses to use them when other words are available.
Addendum G: A reverse image search reveals that this type of bird is a finch.
Addendum PG: Curse words really only have the power that we give them. I suggest the document be revised with this perspective. -Dr. ████
███ you, try me. — SCP-@#%&!
It is not known if SCP-@#%&! is sapient, or is simply a biological robot that produces curse words.
Stimulus | Response |
Hi | F███ you. |
How are you today? | I don't give a flying ███. |
Well f███ you too then! | [█████; an original curse word. When parsed by Foundation cryptographers it translates into the complete writings of James Joyce] |
SCP-@#%&! is exposed to a pattern screamer. | Shut the f███ up! |
Addendum TV-13: Excerpt from interview conducted on "Dr. Gerald", an intrasite television program.
Dr. Gerald: You are the father.
SCP-@#%&!: Sir, I am a ████ING ██████.
Dr. Gerald: Well we have someone here we'd like you to meet.
Timmy waddles onstage.
SCP-1192: Why am I a bird?
Audience gasps.
SCP-@#%&!: Begins doing flips.
Audience boos.
Addendum PG-13: SCP-@#%&! has breached containment, acquiring celebrity status due to incessant media attention paid to its unruly behavior. As it has not actually left Site-██ it is believed its popularity will burn itself out before too long and make re-containment viable.
Addendum NC-17: SCP-@#%&! has retired after its tie-in video game flopped harder than a dead bird off a wind turbine.