SCP-CN-534
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NOTICE

This document has been affected by SCP-CN-534's effects, and its contents have been tampered with; however, the translation team has attempted to fix this to the best of their ability.

Item #: SCP-CN-534

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-CN-534 is contained in a Standard Humanoid Containment Chamber at Site-CN-65; Level 2 or higher personnel may enter the chamber each day and conduct a 1 minute interview with the anomaly. Individuals affected by SCP-CN-534 who do not revert to standard English1 ability within three days must be amnesticized. Personnel who are capable of speaking non-standard topolects shall be given priority in working with SCP-CN-534.

Description: SCP-CN-534 appears to be a 25 or 26-year-old Asiatic male; the subject is typically silent. When the subject speaks, the subject will randomly choose a Chinese dialect2; regardless of whether its conversation partner understands this dialect, they will learn it within two or three minutes. Individuals affected by SCP-CN-534 will continue to speak this dialect and only this dialect for the next three days. This effect will naturally cease after three days; personnel who were unable to speak any non-standard Chinese dialect may retain the effect after three days, but amnesticisation is capable of reversing this effect. The subject's back bears the tattoo "Mr. Dialect, by Gamers Against Weed (China)".

Document updated 20██/██/██
It has been confirmed that SCP-CN-534 possesses the ability to affect documents containing descriptions of the object itself; random parts of the document will be translated to use non-standard varieties of the language it is written in, in pronunciation, vocabulary and format. Maintenance personnel should regularly check and maintain standard language in relevant documents. It is currently unknown whether reading documents affected by SCP-CN-534 will cause the same effect as conversing with SCP-CN-534. In addition, Interview CN-534-B confirms that SCP-CN-534 can similarly affect personnel who do not speak any variety of Chinese.

Retrieval Log: On 20██/██/██, the Foundation discovered the existence of SCP-CN-534 through an online news article describing a "dialect genius in Hunan". Foundation agents disguised as reporters were affected by SCP-CN-534's effects upon interacting with the anomaly, but were successful in bringing SCP-CN-534 into containment under the pretense of "recording a show". All information relating to SCP-CN-534 was deleted and covered up as a rumour. The employees responsible for the article were administered Class B amnestics.

Addenda: Experiment CN-534-01

Test Subjects: D-9566, male, from Shandong, conversational in Qingdao dialect; D-7889, female, from Zhejiang, conversational in Wenzhou dialect

Test Procedure: Subjects were instructed to converse with SCP-CN-534.

Test Result: SCP-CN-534 spoke with D-9566 in Nanchang dialect and D-7889 in Tangshan dialect. In the following three days, the two D-class personnel were only capable of speaking the dialect SCP-CN-534 spoke to them in; this effect ceased after three days and the D-class personnel were unable to speak the dialects they had been speaking for the past three days.

Interview CN-534-A:

Interviewee: SCP-CN-534

Interviewer: Guest Researcher Dr. ██, linguist, from Nanjing, fluent in Nanjing and Shanghai dialects.

Note: This interview was conducted not long after Experiment CN-534-01. The dialect spoken by the two was confirmed to be Baoji dialect, spoken in Shaanxi.

<Begin Recording>

Dr. ██: Hello, SCP-CN-534. I am Dr. ██. I'd like to ask you a few questions.

SCP-CN-534: Um, my name is… agh, why can't I remember? Whatever, use that number then. What would you like to ask?

Dr. ██: How did you discover your powers?

SCP-CN-534: Ah, this is hard to say… I think it's like an innate ability. Ever since I can remember, I've always been speaking to people in different dialects. I'm used to it, I don't think it's some gift from the heavens.

Dr. ██: So how do you choose which dialect to speak with someone?

SCP-CN-534: I… to be honest, I don't know. I only have a little feeling, an unclear feeling… then an impulse, letting me speak to different people in different dialects. And I can tell based on talking to them what dialects they know, and then choose one that's very different from the ones they usually speak, so that they know a new dialect, even just for a while.

Dr. ██: So I suppose you find fun in this?

SCP-CN-534: I suppose so… Of course, there's another way to look at it. My parents always told me people don't speak their own dialects as much any more, so I feel I should teach them different dialects.

Dr. ██: Your parents?

SCP-CN-534: Yes, my parents. They always regretted not letting me learn their dialect when I was born, so they let me have this kind of… power.

Dr. ██: So this ability of yours to speak so many dialects was not something you were born with?

SCP-CN-534: Yes. My parents took me to this place that was kind of like a school, and had me sit in for a lesson, and not long after I was like this.

Dr. ██: Do you still remember where your parents are?

SCP-CN-534: To be honest, I… I don't remember. <SCP-CN-534 pauses.> Wait, isn't this supposed to be about my special ability? Why are you asking about my parents?

Dr. ██: I… um… I was only asking. Do you still want to talk about your understanding of these dialects?

<SCP-CN-534 refuses further interaction. Interview terminated.>

Note: Looks like SCP-CN-534 isn't very willing to talk. After it discovered it wasn't there to record a show, it quickly clammed up. Further interview should consider the type of questioning so as to not repeat Dr. ██'s mistake. — Dr. Hazard

Followup: In the following three days, Dr. ██ was only capable of conversing in Baoji dialect.T Three days later, Dr. ██'s ability to speak Baoji dialect was lost and he did not recall how to speak Baoji dialect.

Interview CN-534-B:

Interviewee: SCP-CN-534

Interviewer: Assistant Dr. Hazard, Ph.D. in linguistics, Master's in Chinese literature, from Lorient, France. Only variety of Chinese spoken is Standard Chinese.

Note: This interview was conducted five days after the previous one. During the interview, SCP-CN-534 used Shanghai dialect, Qingdao dialect, Wenzhou dialect, Cantonese and Minnan dialects, among others, while Dr. Hazard only spoke Standard Chinese. However, it is noted that Dr. Hazard was able to understand SCP-CN-534 despite the fact that it used various dialects.

<Begin Recording>

Dr. Hazard: Hello, SCP-CN-534. I… <Interrupted by SCP-CN-534.>

SCP-CN-534: There are foreigners here too? How interesting. Who are you, and why did you tell me you were recording a bit just to take me out here?

Dr. Hazard: This is a linguistics institute. We noticed your ability, and thought if we approached you directly you wouldn't agree to come.

SCP-CN-534: Is that so… Whatever.

Dr. Hazard: That's good. You've noticed, yes, that I'm not from China, and I don't speak any dialects of Chinese. So, regarding these dialects, I have a few questions to ask.

SCP-CN-534: Go ahead.

Dr. Hazard: Since you know so many dialects, how do you tell them apart? I know how different the dialects are in different places, so remembering all of them must be very difficult. I don't know how you do it.

SCP-CN-534: I said this last time — this is like an innate ability of mine. The second i open my mouth, I can speak any dialect, there's no special way I remember them.

Dr. Hazard: Do you view all dialects equally?

SCP-CN-534: Hmm… I would say I like southern dialects more, especially Wu dialect. Northern dialects are too monotonous, and within one province there's not much difference between the dialects of each city. Southern dialects are different. You don't even have to go between cities — the dialects on either side of a mountain are like night and day. Wu dialects sound so pleasant too, so mellow… that's why I particularly like Wu dialects.

Dr. Hazard: The ones you just said, if I remember correctly, should be Minnan and Cantonese.

SCP-CN-534: Yes, they're my second favorite. I won't lie, I like Fujianese and Cantonese songs, they're all different from Standard Chinese and northern dialects and even Wu dialects. They have a certain cadence to them that lends well to music… but for daily conversation, to a northerner, it might be a little difficult.

Dr. Hazard: Do you have any tips for me as a foreigner learning Chinese?

SCP-CN-534: Start from the basics. In other words, start from the dialect you speak the most. For instance, since this is Hunan, you can start with acquiring a bit of Hunanese through daily conversation.

Dr. Hazard: Alright. Thank you for your cooperation.

SCP-CN-534: Oh, right, doc, when do I get to go home?

Dr. Hazard: I'm afraid you might have to stay here for a while. Since your situation has been discovered, we still haven't been able to track down your parents.

SCP-CN-534: Alright…

<SCP-CN-534 become silent, recording ends>

Note: From the information gained from SCP-CN-534 in these two interviews, I can assume that it was not created as part of the Misters Against Weed project; rather, Gamers Against Weed may have poached it from another GoI. The "school" it mentioned might be an unknown anomaly that needs further investigation. SCP-CN-534 has a particular understanding for Chinese topolects, which combined with its ability; perhaps in the future this may have some benefit for the Foundation, like allowing staff on field work to "fake" a different language, but it would be best to let it accustom to life at the Foundation first. — Dr. Hazard

Followup: Two days later, Dr. Hazard discovered that he was speaking Belgian French rather than the French of France while conducting a lesson on the French language, confirming that SCP-CN-534 has similar effects on subjects' mother tongue even when that mother tongue is not Chinese.

Document CN-534-A:

Discovered in SCP-CN-534's coat pocket.

Jeezam3! You've just found yourself your very own Mr. Dialect by Gamers Against Weed™ (China)! What are you waiting for, it's best to practice Putonghua! Wha4 is Dr. Wondertainment?

Collect them all and become Mr. Gamer!

37. Mr. Dialect ✔
38. Mr. Livestream
39. Mr. Crackpot
40. Mr. Keyboard
41. Mr. Xiangsheng
42. Mr. FULL COMBO!

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