"I know this looks bad, but really— I-I just need you to listen to me. Please. You know I only want it so bad because I have to, right?"
-
ADULT CONTENT
This article contains adult content that may not be suitable for all readers.
Features sexual themes or language, but does not depict sexual acts.
Explicit depiction of sexual acts.
Features non-consensual sexual acts.
Graphic depiction of blood, gore or mutilation of body parts.
Description of severe mistreatment of children.
Description of self-harm
Description of suicide.
Description of torture.
Features severe abuse of power within a relationship.If you are above the age of 18+ and wish to read such content, then you may click Continue to view said content.
Series Hub » Woman of Stone and Blood Hub » Acrotomophilia: Sanguis Ex Tempore
⚠️ Content warning: This article contains a content warning for depictions of sexual conduct, inherently coerced sexual acts, and abuse of power.
Reader discretion is advised.
This article was written for the 2025 Sex Anthology (like 6 months late but fuck it we ball).
Acrotomophilia is sometimes defined as an attraction to disability, which is the more obvious connection. The more common definition, however, is an attraction to amputees. I have chosen to take this in a more metaphorical definition — within the scope of this article, what has been cut off is bodily autonomy itself.
SCP-9980 — Acrotomophilia: Sanguis Ex Tempore by KatyaStrangelove
This file is to remain sealed, and its containment class updated to Evidentiary.1 This decision has been made in the interest of preserving the temporal status quo and preventing the spread of information that may compromise the perception of administrative personnel.
(Authorization: Site-19 Director Joachim Riker, 12-26-2012; Site-17 Director Thomas Graham, 12-28-2012)
Only approved personnel may proceed.
Special Containment Procedures
Under no circumstances are either of the two parties involved to be informed of any aspect of SCP-9980. Select approved personnel are to be informed on a need-to-know basis. It must be stated that all alleged conduct attributed to Deputy Director Violanti within the document is entirely false.
An inquiry into the origin of SCP-9980 yielded no known results. Further research to determine its origin and authenticity is virtually impossible without scrambling researchers from multiple departments. The risk of an information leak far outweighs any potential benefit.
Description
SCP-9980 is a file that appeared spontaneously within the SCP Foundation Database on 03-01-2008. By what method this occurred remains unknown, but given additional facts,2 it is likely temporal or thaumaturgical in nature.
The file in question, designated SCP-9980-ARC, is formatted similarly to a standard database entry, yet the style of writing therein is almost entirely out of compliance with approved practices and standards. In addition, the subject "anomaly" can be explained by non-anomalous psychiatric phenomena; namely, post-traumatic stress disorder and trauma-based hypersexuality/hyperarousal.
SCP-9980-ARC contains analyses and prose-based anecdotes of sexual exploits occurring within a marriage between Site-19 Deputy Director Carmine Violanti, and Site-17 Researcher Barrikada Ulyanova (designated SCP-9140-A-0). Of concern, SCP-9980-ARC purports instances of rape, abuse of power, and sexual coercion perpetrated by the Deputy Director.
Despite the detailed personal anecdotes included, and the presence of a photo of the Personnel Director's office within the small window of time before its renovation in 2002, it is indisputably impossible for these events to have occurred within known baseline reality. By all accounts and records, Deputy Director Violanti and Researcher Ulyanova have not seen, nor spoken to each other since her transfer to Site-17 in 1995.
Special Containment Procedures
For the sake of SCP-9980-9140-A-0's continued wellbeing, she must be the one to wield, to disburse, and to interface with SCP-9980-ARC. To ensure that she maintains sufficient control, she must frequently allow herself to be taken by it entirely. When under the influence of SCP-9980-ARC, her husband should take care of her and give her what she wants. Give her what he wants. By this point, is there really any difference between the two?
When you give into your own desires, she always seems happy with it. Happier than before, at least.3 Best to just indulge, perhaps brag to your friends about how much she wants it. Make them jealous; they all wish they had a young, anomalous wife who thinks about sex almost every minute she isn't thinking about her duties to the Foundation. Just, whatever you do, don't think about how she got that way.
You never forced her to do anything. Its not your fault that you were a Site Administrator and she was an anomalous Junior Researcher whose case you had been entrusted with. Sometimes love arises from the places you'd least expect.
Description
SCP-9980-ARC is SCP-9980-9140-A-0's lust. This phenomenon has since become the means by which she addresses her lack of choice. Never did she feel more threatened and more out of control than when Deputy Director Violanti made the mistake of interacting with SCP-9980-ARC without her being the one to allow it. She knows that it will quickly perish if taken from her, and she knows that she will die without it,4 so she wields it like a weapon, always the first to strike.
No matter how much experience she gains, SCP-9980-9140-A-0 is still unable to shed herself of her hypervigilance. On the rare occasion when SCP-9980-ARC has been cast aside, she indulges herself in sorrowful attempts to count each of the past instances in which she was just too trigger-happy. Alas, counting the uncountable is a futile task.
When you think about it objectively, you realize that you're a stupid, stupid girl; that you give him exactly what he wants. In brief periods of lucidity, you understand that what you do is no subversion. If he spoke the words "Honey, you think you feel up to—", you'd be on your knees with his cock down your throat before he even finished the sentence. The end of it didn't matter by then. No matter what it was, you'd still be looking up at him with lost, glassy eyes and bubbly saliva dripping down your chin.5 Until SCP-9980-ARC releases its hold on you, you know that's all you're capable of.
ANECDOTE 0.1 - A Retrospective, Date Unknown
After the discovery of my anomaly, I was left spiraling into a state of absolute, unbreakable tragedy. He was given ward over my heart, and he’d let it lie where he could admire it as he pleased – unprotected, and unpreserved, with little care given to the consequences of his inaction.
He instead devoted his mind to musings and admiration of said heart’s vessel — perhaps obsessively. He’d told me as much. Told me he couldn’t stop thinking about me, that the span of time during which I was forced into temporary containment was when he’d begun to fall in love with me. He said it like I was supposed to be endeared – dare I say, flattered, at such a confession, when all he’d conveyed of substance was that the Foundation had given him my life to protect, and he'd allowed it to rot. It was his inability to act that made me sick. And, the fact that I was sick is what allowed him to make me his.
Perhaps he hadn’t made a mistake in neglecting what was dutifully placed in his custody, perhaps he hadn’t simply forgotten to attend to it as it turned putrid. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d thought about how it was rotting, how the blood left behind had long coagulated into sludge, how the maggots were starting to feast, dotting the surface with writhing white specks. Knowing it would only become too much for him when he could no longer ignore the stench.
I’d have liked to imagine that he’d at least spent the time fantasizing about the woman I used to be – competent, outgoing, optimistic, but I couldn’t even force myself to suspend disbelief to such a degree.
It simply wasn’t like him. He always wanted to be the rescuer, the hero, the savior. He was drawn to the weak and, at providing them relief, he was often successful. Doubtlessly, it had worked out for him. In fact, it got him a position in the Foundation that was the envy of his peers. He was conditioned to seek out only the most vulnerable, and while such a compulsion was normally no more than professional, the capacity for more had always been an omnipresence.
Once I got sick, his savior complex bubbled up and tipped over into the realm of eroticism. I’d felt it while I was still delirious from the sedatives they gave me after they amnesticized me. He’d been close to the bed, standing above me, and when he held me down, leaning against me, it was undeniable that I’d never been as arousing to him as I was in that moment.
ANECDOTE 0.2 - September of 1995. Dep't of Emergency Medicine. Site-19.
Two days after Carmine and I's first time, — the day after I barely made it to my O5 Council mandated interview — I got sick again. I woke up queasy, barely able to force myself out of bed. Sure enough, my blood iron levels were through the roof.6 Despite the rounds of therapeutic phlebotomy I'd endured that week, it still wasn't enough. It took me a whole week for me to feel anywhere near how I did before he shoved me onto his desk and7…..
And yet, he still didn’t leave me alone. He came to the hospital every day to visit, apologizing yet again for ‘surprising me’ with what he did and claiming he had ‘no idea that it wasn’t what I wanted’. I learned that he raised his eyebrows and cocked his head to the side whenever he lied to me, but I couldn’t bring myself to care.
Despite his busy schedule, he always found the time to check on me. He cooed at me, doted on me, and even insisted he brush my hair for me, lest it become matted. He treated me like the prized new pet I was to him – only making subtle allusions to the cage he planned to shove me in as soon as he knew I wouldn’t protest. He made a performative effort to disguise these hints, but in truth, he always intended me to look beyond the veil – it was all part of the game he played with me.
“I spoke to the doctor about your diabetes. They’ll check on you more often now.”
“I got you a book from your room, is Wuthering Heights8 okay?”
“After they let you out of here, you’re welcome to stay with me for a while.”
It went without saying that I would be staying with him, and he would not be giving me a spare room. Knowing that our ill-fated first time – one during which I never once took him inside of me — had made me so sick…the idea haunted me. Waiting in a barren hospital room, anticipating the potential agony my foreseeable future held felt nothing short of unbearable. I imagined as many permutations as I could, coming to the conclusion that I couldn't truly know, nor could I make a particularly reliable prediction.
On the third day, what felt like endless rumination reached a sickening fever pitch. With tears in my eyes and shame wrapped around my heart, I asked him to fuck me then and there, just to get it over with.
ADDENDUM 0.1 - The beginning of the end.
He, ever so eager less than a week prior, looked at me like I’d just grown a third eye.
HIM: "What? [He cocked his head to the side and chuckled]"9
ME: "I— I just thought that you'd want to, you know. Just to do it? Fuck…I'm sorry—"
HIM: "[He let out a dry laugh] Why…would you ask that now?"
ME: "[I whispered, staring down at my lap] I don't know…"
HIM: "Something about being in here get you hot?"10
It was mortifying, nothing short of utterly humiliating. Somehow…for some reason, I hoped he’d say yes. He’d lock the door, and I’d lift my hospital gown to my chest, because maybe – just maybe, it would be okay. Then I could feel like the future was something I had a chance at surviving. Then, I could maybe start to forget that ill-fated night in his office, if I could only be so lucky.
Instead, all I was granted was a patronizing look of endearment, as if my little request was nothing short of adorable. Facetiously, he tutted at me for acting like such a harlot, but ultimately, he declined:
HIM: “I’m flattered, but, God, imagine if someone walked in? Imagine the fuckin' scandal that would be…”
ME: [I shrugged, refusing to look into his eyes]
HIM: “Is it really that much of a tragedy that I didn’t give it to you that night? [He chuckled again]”
ME: [I made a sound of nondescript surprise and covered my beet red face with my hands]
HIM: “I guess I found myself a nymphomaniac, huh?”
Just a girl willing to try anything once.
If I have to.
Perhaps more.
If I really have to.
"When he was promoted to Deputy Director in 2002 (the year after our wedding), they gutted and remodeled his old office. I took this picture right before they did it. Sometimes I look at it and try to remember what happened there in '95 (and about a hundred times after), but it only gets harder and harder.11 The passage of time is bittersweet, I think."
ANECDOTE 0.3 - On June 9th, 2005, I descended to a new low.
Lately, I've found myself wishing Carmine would hit me. He held no apprehension about berating me, yelling at me, and establishing his control over me, so why not? At least then, I'd have something concrete to hold onto. If anything, so I'd know for sure that I'm not overreacting. He always knew how far he was able to go, and never traveled beyond — pushing his luck just far enough to make me doubt whether or not I've just gone crazy.
I wondered over and over again — why he hadn't hit me — until it became entirely reified in my mind. As if his restraint is somehow a personal affront against me. I thought I'd be worth the risk, and if not, he should know by now that I'd never tell. So why not??
Unfortunately, Carmine is a devotee, first and foremost. Manipulative, obsessed with control…yet unwilling to engage in behavior too heinous to write off as care, help, and apology. If he took it that far, he'd have to admit to himself with certainty that he's the type of man who would. I know that he is, but it feels like he'd rather die than give me proof. Instead, I'm resigned to speculative purgatory, forced to repeat the endless cycle of self doubt.
It's a miracle it took me so long to get this far.
ADDENDUM 0.2 - SCP-9980-9140-A-0 cherished the little that he let it have.
SCP-9980-9140-A-0 began to encourage sadistic behavior, using his acquiescence as proof that it was capable of getting what it wanted from him.
DIR. VIOLANTI: “You like this, honey?”
SCP-9980-9140-A-0: “Uhh I–”
DIR. VIOLANTI: “You’re shaking.”
SCP-9980-9140-A-0: “Y– yeah… Hurts a little.”
DIR. VIOLANTI: “Shit, sorry, I’ll stop, okay–”
SCP-9980-9140-A-0: “No! [It grimaces]12 No, I – you know. I want that, for it to hurt.”
DIR. VIOLANTI: “[He chuckles] Come on, I don’t need you to ‘endure’ for my sake…”
SCP-9980-9140-A-0: “I’m not, I’m okay, just do it. That– uh, actually wasn’t enough, before. Sorry, I– [It covers its face with its hands] it’s kinda embarrassing to say out loud.”
DIR. VIOLANTI: “Oh, no kidding… Huh. [Pause] Let me know if it’s too much, then…”
It wouldn’t dare. Not when its trauma-informed logic had given it a reason not to sequester its mind from the reactions of its body.
Reportedly, later that night when its panties came off bloodstained, it couldn’t help but smile a little bit.
ADDENDUM 0.3 - Termination Attempts.
The following attempts were made by SCP-9980-9140-A-0 to abate its compulsive hypersexuality:
| Attempt | Successful / Unsuccessful | Resultant Action |
|---|---|---|
| Denying sex when asked, excuse provided. | SUCCESSFUL | Subject avoided Dir. Violanti for the remainder of the day. |
| Denying sex when asked, no excuse provided. | UNSUCCESSFUL | Subject attempted to take the previous cause of action, but was soon overcome by the belief that something grave would occur if it did not give in. |
| Seeking treatment from a para-psychologist. | UNSUCCESSFUL | Made an appointment but refused to attend, due to concerns that "Dir. Violanti would get in trouble." |
| Drawing blood during sex. | SUCCESSFUL | You let your mind go blank, watching it drip. Everything else fades into a staticky, distant pleasure. You finally feel calm. |
| Drawing blood during sex. | UNSUCCESSFUL | You weren't supposed to do that. |
ANECDOTE 0.5 - He wants me because I'll bleed for him and I'll tell myself that only I love it and I'll try to convince myself that he hates it but the truth is that when he drew his initials on my stomach with my blood I'd never seen him so transfixed.
I began to associate the spilling of my blood with deliverance from pain, both physical and mental…
From the first time in my dorm bathroom with shitty stolen scissors, to the probably hundreds of instances of therapeutic phlebotomy I’d been forced to endure, bloodletting in any form was the only thing that relieved the pain in my joints, the queasiness in my stomach, and – if things got bad enough – the sickly yellowness of my skin.
During the uncountable times where my life descended into freefall, just the sight of it — opaque, and sticky, and deep red — became synonymous with relief.
It was no wonder that it didn’t take long for those wires to cross fetishistically, especially during such a time of such frantic sexual obsession. I couldn’t deny that sex felt the best when he made me bleed. When every time I was breached by him felt like being burned from the inside and I couldn’t help but grimace in pain, vision clouding.
"I thought I looked the most beautiful…"
Maybe it was the mistreatment itself that so thoroughly claimed me, I could never be entirely sure. Either way, it was everything to me. The all-encompassing feeling of getting what I told him I wanted; the agony he told me – through gritted teeth and biting words – that he ‘mercifully’ restrained himself from inflicting – everything.
Eventually my body would collapse in on itself, forcing a sob from my throat, and I would convulse while tears streamed down my face. For once, it didn't feel like he was wringing it out of me for his own satisfaction.13 In fact, if I ignored how it still felt a little too much like being punched in the stomach, I could have sworn I'd learned to love it, even. Yet the part of my brain that remained in bondage always held me back; whether or not I allowed myself to acknowledge the pleasure I derived from the act hinged solely upon the hue of the fluid that seeped from my body afterward.14
I wanted him to go further, I wanted him to leave more of himself streaked with my blood.
At the time, I suppose, it felt something like power.
ADDENDUM 0.4 - Every once in a while I ask myself if I'd leave him if I could.
Just to see, just as an experiment…
| How long have I been like this? | Will I ever stop being so pathetic?? | Why do I keep doing this to myself.. |
|---|---|---|
| 01-04-2007 | No | What else can I do??? |
| 01-30-2007 | No | I love him. |
| 03-23-2007 | No | Only the good parts of our relationship ever stay with me for long these days. |
| 04-29-2007 | No | I know my life would be over if I did… |
| 07-09-2007 | No | I wish we were good for each other. Maybe one day we will be… |
| 08-17-2007 | No | I love him. |
| 09-26-2007 | I wish… | Fuck…I can't believe it was twelve years ago |
| 11-20-2007 | No | He always does what I want in bed. |
| 12-01-2007 | No | I never want to say no to him. |
| 12-14-2007 | ??? | …I don't even know if I can anymore… |
| 01-01-2008 | No. | …..I didn't |
| 01-21-2008 | No. | …I didn't. |
| 02-13-2008 | No. | ..I didn't. |
| 02-28-2008 | Why?? | …Why am I even thinking about it? |
Why would I leave? I'm right where I want to be, where I need to be.
NOTE: Over 70% of these ruminations are immediately followed up by SCP-9980-9140-A-0 allowing itself to be taken over by SCP-9980-ARC. Afterwards, it experiences a period of lucidity, during which it becomes aware that its pattern of behavior is only capable of spiraling downwards. To date, it has not yet learned to break the cycle.
Final Update - 12-30-2012
On 12-21-2012, the relationship between Site-19 Deputy Director Carmine Violanti and SCP-9980-9140-A-0 (Dr. Barrikada Ulyanova, previously Violanti) was terminated.
The timeline of events, as purported within SCP-9980-ARC was retroactively confirmed the day after. This occurred during what was supposed to be an unrelated interview with Dr. Ulyanova.
Information regarding the anomalous means by which this occurred is currently restricted to those of Clearance Level-05 or higher, as well as select Temporal Anomalies Department personnel.