In which an old man outplays the Foundation. (2k words)
An SCP-9700-A instance.
Item #: 9700
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: Located SCP-9700 sites are to be contained under standard field protocols appropriate to the anomaly present. Newly recovered SCP-9700-A instances are to be analysed to identify their associated SCP-9700 site.
Description: SCP-9700 is a collective designation for cartographic artifacts, designated SCP-9700-A, and the anomalous locations they depict. Each SCP-9700-A instance is an inert paper map that accurately represents an anomalous site later discovered through use of associated SCP-9700-A instances. It is unknown who previously owned the instances of SCP-9700-A, or where they originated.
Addendum — Notable Instances: Below is a collection of notable instances of SCP-9700 in order of discovery. This list is non-exhaustive.
SCP-9700-1
SCP-9700-1
Location: Aleutian Range, Alaska
Description: First identified SCP-9700 site. A large mountainside cave; interior rockfall that surrounded a fractured stalactite. One deceased SCP-1000 specimen (white pelage) was located adjacent to the break with a large red bump on its head. Additionally, the specimen's heart had been removed post-mortem.
Recovered Items: A damaged grappling hook was found embedded in a stalactite; it appeared to have been used to pull it down and dislodge boulders. Latent fingerprints were present and testing for a match is ongoing.
Note: It appears the location had been visited by another group before us. The wound didn't look too old, so whoever was here is probably still active. We're still waiting on the fingerprints, but I reckon if we hurry we might find him at another one.
- Agent Dogg
SCP-9700-2
SCP-9700-2
Location: Municipal Cemetery, Caen, France
Description: A vertical pit replacing a grave plot opened into a small furnished chamber containing a 50" Smart 4K Ultra HD HDR LED TV, a sofa and a mini fridge holding multiple expired Red Bull cans. A desiccated adult male was found lying on the sofa facing the TV. When personnel obstructed the corpse’s line of sight to the screen, it exhibited brief motor activity to push personnel aside; activity ceased when the sightline was restored.
Recovered Items: Manual rope winch and standard rappelling equipment at the shaft rim; non-anomalous. Additionally, a written note on a scrap of paper was found.
There beneath the earth was a huge opening like nothing I'd seen before. I peered deep within the pit, but all that stared back was the void below. I simply had to know what was down there! Eagerly, I prepared my equipment and readied myself for descent. I lowered myself in, only a rope to keep me safe, and began my journey.
After multiple minutes of slow descent, with only the darkness to share my journey with, I reached the bottom. Inside, a fellow lay dormant watching his screen. I thought it best not to disturb him and instead turned my eyes to the gleaming Pearl of Absolution. Said to have been used by Napoleon himself, this precious gem holds the power to turn fiction into absolute truth! I gleefully swiped the treasure before tipping my hat to the poor chap and making my ascent.
"Tally-ho!" I called to the misfortuned fellow, as I exited his homestead the way I came. I would have loved to stay and chat, but I have business to take care of in the Amazon. There rests another of the great treasures, the-
SCP-9700-3
SCP-9700-3
Location: Upper Amazon Basin, Brazil
Description: A multi-terraced stone temple with syncretic Mesoamerican features. Numerous mechanical traps were present, but had already been triggered at the time of entry. A large boulder had occluded a primary corridor and was mechanically repositioned to allow passage; the terminal chamber was partly collapsed, with no occupants. Chalk lines delineated a route to the centre of the structure. At the terminus, a weighted pressure plate bearing a sandbag was identified; removal of the sandbag precipitated structural collapse, resulting in the deaths of five Foundation personnel.
Recovered Items: AO-9700-6-A, a brass spyglass recovered outside the structure. When viewed through, SCP-9700 sites and SCP-9700-A depictions were marked with a large red “X” within the optic; non-anomalous locations were unaffected. Item transferred to Site-73 anomalous object storage; further testing pending. Additionally, another note was discovered trapped inside the rubble.
- the traps had been unrelenting thus far, and I didn't expect that to change going into the final chamber. I could see my prize in the distance, but I couldn't let myself grow foolhardy. Before me sat a simple dart trap - or so it may have appeared to the uninitiated. I, however, had seen this trick before. If I had learned anything back in the Sahara, things aren't always as they seem.
Carefully, I readied my whip and stepped into position. Running through ordinarily would be a death sentence, what with the true trap hidden in plain sight. Thus, I charged forward and leaped, catching myself on a narrow pole protruding from the roof parallel to the floor below, which was now crumbling to reveal deadly spikes. With dexterity, I shimmied over to the other side, approaching the final test the builders of this labyrinth had left for me.
The Great Goblet sat upon a raised pillar in the centre of the room. With its strength in my hand, this perilous trip would have all been worth it. Said to have been wielded by the Mayans themselves, it possesses the power to satiate its owner for millennia, for the penance of one drink of the owner's blood. It'll be a help to me soon, with my journey to Egypt following once I leave this dreaded jungle. For now though, I pocketed the beaut, leaving in-
After the exploration of SCP-9700-3, an email exchange took place between Agent Wade Dogg and Lead Researcher Aaron Yarr, which has been included below.
To: Lead Researcher Aaron Yarr
From: Agent Wade Dogg
Subject: Updates?
Hi Aaron,
After visiting SCP-9700-3 and losing my entire team, surviving only because I was stood near the exit, I find it pretty fucking mad that we are both no closer to catching this man or figuring out who the hell he is. Not only has he killed my men, he's found multiple powerful anomalies that we have absolutely no idea what he intends to do with. If you don't get me to this man soon, I will be reaching out to the whoever I can that will get me this fucker.
Agent Dogg
To: Agent Wade Dogg
From: Lead Researcher Aaron Yarr
Subject: Re:Updates?
Hi Wade,
I was actually just about to reach out regarding the fingerprints discovered at the first location. We've managed to find a match tracing back to the 19th century. A "Sir Archibald Sunscorch".
Not an actual knight to be clear. His first name is literally Sir.
Also, we're sending you over to Egypt. You might not like it, but we think he might be over there and there really isn't any other way of us catching him.
Researcher Yarr, History Division
SCP-9700-4
SCP-9700-4
Location: Dakhla Oasis, New Valley Governorate, Egypt
Description: An entrance at the crest of a large sand dune led to a previously undocumented pyramid. Upon entry, the pyramid appeared entirely hollow, with Foundation Agents spotting a man dressed in gear typical of a British explorer from the 19th century standing next to a sarcophagus. Agents called to the man, who appeared startled before turning to the sarcophagus lid and opening it. From the sarcophagus, a mummified body rose, thousands of locusts and scarabs flying out of its mouth and forming an interior similar to those found in the Pyramids of Giza. Foundation Agents quickly attempted to make their way to the centre of the pyramid to apprehend the subject; however, upon reaching the sarcophagus, only a couple of items were left in his place.
Recovered Items: A mundane leather whip and a handwritten note were recovered.
To those who spotted me here during my adventure, you almost caught me. I know you're working for Gallybottom. He shan't have the contents of this tomb, nor any of the other wonders I've collected thus far. He is not half the man I am and hasn't the faintest idea of the power these artifacts hold. I am so confident in this truth, I offer you a challenge.
Two days.
Sutherland, Scotland.
I know you've taken my maps.
I will see you scoundrels there.
Most sincere,
Sir Archibald Sunscorch
Incident Log SCP-9700-5
Two days after the exploration of SCP-9700-4, Foundation Agents located SCP-9700-5 in the Traligill Cave System and began their exploration. Below is a transcript of the events that unfolded.
<Begin Log>
<Exploration begins with a team of three Foundation Agents entering SCP-9700-5's cavernous main chamber. The team is led by Agent Wade Dogg, who repeatedly commands the team to hurry and rushes ahead. As the team ventures deeper into the cave system, they begin to follow a trail of discarded flares. Eventually, this trail leads the team to a wide opening.>
Agent Dogg: You have got to be fucking kidding me.
<Within the new opening, a large creature matching descriptions of traditional British dragons can be seen lying atop a pile of gold coins and other shiny objects. From its head, a large sword can be seen protruding, halfway embedded in its skull. Next to the dragon, Sir Archibald Sunscorch can be seen crouching and slowly walking towards its head.>
Agent Dogg: (Raising his gun) Stop right there!
<Sunscorch turns, appearing startled when seeing Agent Dogg.>
Sunscorch: (After regaining his composure) For a moment there I thought you weren't going to show up! How much is Gallybottom paying you for this?
<The dragon begins to awake as Sunscorch yells.>
Agent Dogg: What? No idea who the fuck that is! What I do know is that you've gotten 5 of my men killed. Now come here before I fucking make you.
Sunscorch: Nay, sir. I fear I will not be coming with you now. For you see, there's a difference between petty thugs such as yourselves, and a true free soul such as my own.
<The dragon turns to Sunscorch, opening its mouth and preparing to bite him. In response, Sunscorch grabs a golden chair and launches it into the dragon's mouth causing it to roar out in pain. Sunscorch then begins running up the gold pile towards the dragon.>
Agent Dogg: Don't let him get away. Fire!
<The two Foundation Agents begin firing, narrowly missing Sunscorch as he clambers up towards the head of the dragon. Agent Dogg begins running, yelling as he does so.>
Sunscorch: You see, sir, there's a certain swagger a man must hold to truly battle the beautiful beasts of this world. And a certain swagger a man must hold to learn about the mysteries and treasures these beasts hold for us.
<Sunscorch reaches the top of the dragon's head and places both his hands on the sword embedded within it>
Agent Dogg: (Still running) Don't move a muscle or I'll shoot! I swear to God I'll shoot.
Sunscorch: Do you even know what my hands rest upon at this very moment? The sword Excalibur, wielded by the true King of England Arthur, sits inside the skull of the dragon he once failed to slay. Now you can go to Gallybottom, or whomever you claim sent you, and you can tell them what you saw today. Tell them how outmatched they are. Tell them never again to toil with The Guild of Saint Peter.
<Sunscorch smashes a small pink pearl as Agent Dogg attempts to fire his weapon at Sunscorch, discovering his gun is unloaded. Looking up, Agent Dogg watches as Sunscorch places both hands on the hilt of the sword, pulling hard before managing to dislodge the blade from the skull of the dragon. The dragon roars with pain, clawing away the two guards still shooting at it before falling to the ground dead. Agent Dogg stares at Sunscorch, dumbfounded. Sunscorch walks past Agent Dogg, winking and tipping his hat before leaving the cave with the sword in his hand.>
<End Log>
Agent Dogg was later seen finding a small piece of parchment in his pocket, which he read before growing enraged and burning it.
Following this incident, The Guild of Saint Peter has been given the classification GOI-343 and is to be investigated further.
