"To say that an Argument of Skullflowers is purely dangerous neglects a fundamental truth; they’re also silly little guys."
Untitled Automated Transcript1
Date: 1/04/2019
Subject: SCP-9618-1 and SCP-9618-2
Present: Junior Researcher Rosen
Hi?
Hello?
Who is humming?
Does anyone know why it's so dark in here?
Wait…
WAIT!
I forgot to open my bud!
No wonder it's so dark.
Wait for a minute, humming person. I'll be out in a second.
Junior Researcher Rosen is sitting at a desk inside Bio Lab-14. She is humming to herself as she reviews recent test results. Behind her in the lab's monitoring station are SCP-9618-1 and SCP-9618-2. SCP-9618-1 begins shaking. Its movements are not noticed by Rosen. After three minutes of intermittent shaking, the instance slowly blooms, revealing a pink and white human skull-shaped flower. SCP-9618-1 stretches out its leaves and looks around the lab, then focuses on Rosen.
SCP-9618-1: Hi!
Rosen jolts and hits her knee on the bottom of her desk. She swivels her chair around and faces SCP-9618-1. It waves a leaf at her.
SCP-9618-1: Can you hear me? Don't tell me I forgot to bloom again.
Rosen clears her throat.
Rosen: Sorry, you startled me. I can most certainly hear you.
SCP-9618-1 raises its leaves up into the air.
SCP-9618-1: Yay! I'm glad to finally meet you after listening to your lovely humming for so long.
Rosen: You could hear me humming?
SCP-9618-1: Indeed… wait, where are my manners? I forgot to ask you for your name, humming person.
Rosen: My name is Rosen, SCP-9618-1, Junior Researcher Rosen.
SCP-9618-1: SCP-9618-1? What kind of name is that? I'm Skelly. And Junior Researcher Rosen is too long a name. I'll call you Rose, that way we're both a kind of flower.
Rosen: SCP-9618-1 is the designation we've given you, and I'll need to keep using it. It helps us keep track of you and keep you safe.
SCP-9618-1 holds its leaves flat against its stem.
SCP-9618-1: It's Skelly.
Rosen: I'm sorry, but I really must insist on calling you SCP-9618-1 and that you call me Junior Researcher Rosen, or Rosen for short.
SCP-9618-1 rapidly flaps its leaves, causing the pot it is in to begin swaying violently. Rosen leaps from her chair toward SCP-9618-1. She lands on her knees beside SCP-9618-1's pot, catching it before it falls over.
SCP-9618-1: Wow, thanks! I was in a bit of a vine bind there.
Rosen: No need to thank me. I've long since learned this kind of thing is part of the job.
Rosen returns to her chair. She groans as she rubs her knees.
Rosen: Ok, if you promise not to do that again, I'll call you Skelly and you can call me Rose.
SCP-9618-1: It's a deal! Now, do you have any fertiliser with you? My soil could use some more nitrogen.
Rosen pushes a button on her keyboard, dispensing standard fertiliser mixed with water into SCP-9618-1's pot. The mixture soaks into the soil, and SCP-9618-1 sighs.
SCP-9618-1: That is divine. It's like a summer shower after a long drought.
Rosen: How did you know you needed nitrogen specifically?
SCP-9618-1: You can't tell what you need?
Rosen: I mean, I can. I know when I'm thirsty or when I'm hungry. But I wouldn't know if I need more calcium, for example.
SCP-9618-1: That's a shame. You need to figure that out somehow. Maybe you could change your soil? Sometimes we all need a new perspective, and new soil can really do the trick.
Rosen: Unfortunately, that's not something I'm capable of.
SCP-9618-1: Ahh, that sucks. Getting new soil is both fun and refreshing.
Rosen: Is there anything else you know about your surroundings? Like information about the air quality?
SCP-9618-1: Before I answer, can I ask you a question, Rose?
Rosen: Sure.
SCP-9618-1: What's that thingy on your screen?
SCP-9618-1 gestures toward Rosen's computer screen, which is displaying a draft version of the SCP-9618 document. Rosen rotates the screen out of SCP-9618-1's view.
Rosen: It's a small project. Nothing for you to worry about, Skelly.
A muffled voice emanates from SCP-9618-2. SCP-9618-1 huffs and taps the side of its pot with the tip of a leaf.
SCP-9618-1: Where are your manners? Open your bud before you talk!
SCP-9618-2 begins to bloom, revealing a yellow and orange human skull-shaped flower. Once bloomed, SCP-9618-2 waves a leaf at SCP-9618-1. It returns the gesture.
SCP-9618-2: Hello! I'm Skully.
SCP-9618-1: Hi! I'm Skelly.
SCP-9618-2 points a leaf at Rosen.
SCP-9618-2: Who is that?
Rosen: I'm Rose, though I'd prefer if you called me Junior Researcher Rosen or Rosen for short.
SCP-9618-2: Rose, Skelly, I am perturbed. The horrid stench of lies woke me up from my beauty sleep. Which one of you is lying?
Rosen: I'm not lying about anything.
SCP-9618-1: So your project is going ok, then?
Rosen nods.
Rosen: Very much so. It's my first time working on something like this and while I'm unsure about some of it, it really feels like I'm finally working on something I've always wanted to.
SCP-9618-2: Yep, there's definitely a lie in there. This must really be serious if you're willing to lie about lying.
SCP-9618-1: Show us what's on the screen, Rose.
SCP-9618-2: Yes, show us the thing that makes you lie.
Rosen: I can't, really. It's not something I'm allowed to show you. And again, I'm not lying.
SCP-9618-1 and SCP-9618-2 put their leaves over their mouths, shaping them into a frown-like expression. Rosen's screen displaces from her desk and reappears on the floor in front of the instances. The screen is still displaying the SCP-9618 document.
Rosen: Was that one of you?
SCP-9618-1: Ahh, I don't see a problem with it.
SCP-9618-2: Neither do I.
SCP-9618-1: Maybe it's a structural issue?
SCP-9618-2: That must be it.
Rosen: Can one of you please answer my question?
SCP-9618-1: It's too stuffy right now. It should be more freeform, more experimental, more colourful! A document that can dance freely in the wind.
SCP-9618-2: No, no, no! A traditional design is the only correct choice.
The instances turn to face each other, leaves flat against their stems. Rosen waves her arms, attempting to gain their attention.
Rosen: Nope, we're not doing this. You two won't be getting into an argument and potentially hurting yourselves under my watch. Now calm yourselves down and raise your ar… I mean leaves.
They slowly raise their leaves in unison.
Rosen: Thank you. Now, I need you both to remain calm while I go and get my colleagues, ok?
SCP-9618-1 looks at Rosen, then at SCP-9618-2. It whispers something incomprehensible.
SCP-9618-2: What do you mean by that, you moron? And freeform for a document like this? It's a stupid idea!
SCP-9618-1: Me, a moron? You're the dumb one, undoubtedly because your soil is less fertilised than mine. Rose's thingy needs more colour and probably a rainbow too.
