Who'd you push down the stairs last night? I would've liked to have been a part of that.
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Who'd you push down the stairs last night?
I would've liked to have been a part of that
Who'd you push down the stairs last night?
I would've liked to have been a part of thatWho'd You Kill Now? - Frightened Rabbit
SCP-9390 - The View From Half Way Down
This article contains CWs for: References to psychological distress, suicide, and suicidal ideation.
⚠️ content warning ↑
[EXTRANEOUS COMMENTARY DETECTED. DICTATION PAUSED.]
[START LOG]
Oakton: So, anyways, rather than typing this all up, they have me here, stuck with you, Doctor, and I'm learning about "myself!" Not that this is a problem, I'm just, well, trying, y'know? Trying my best! So the point of this was to what, again?
Lee: The system'll hear what it is you're saying and start editing the file immediately to avoid you misremembering or having to re-experience anything related to 9390.
Oakton: Neat. But we were already scheduled before I ever had a run-in with 9390.
Lee: I saw that you needed to come in so I figured I might as well get the other thing they wanted me to do with you done at the same time. In any case, I think they may be related, based off what I know.
Oakton: Which is what?
Lee: Not much, admittedly.
Oakton: Hm. I mean, I'll talk, I just don't know where this is going to get us.
Lee: It can be pretty far, if you want it to.
Oakton: Maybe. I'm not sure, yet, but I'll give it time.
Lee: That's all I ask.
Oakton: Sorry for being late. Just had, well, so much to do, to worry about. I almost cancelled this morning, actually. Stayed up last night trying to get stuff done. Stayed in bed for a while when I woke up. Not like anyone's home to make sure I go to sleep on time anymo— Ah, shit, sorry, it's going to put this in, isn't it—
Lee: No, no. You're okay. Let's just refocus. Start talking more about 9390. If you decide not to, it'll record it separately. Leave it up, partitioned away, easy to edit. I'll go back for it later.
[END LOG]
A sketch of SCP-9390-1, drawn by Res. Oakton.
Item Number: SCP-9390
Class: Apollyon
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-9390 does not warrant containment. Beyond-Veil sightings of SCP-9390 have been normalized as a recurring visual hallucination during times of extreme stress.
Extended periods of one-on-one care have shown wide success in reducing SCP-9390 prevalence. Currently, this is the recommended treatment method.
Description: SCP-9390 is a pair of visual and auditory hallucinations and their resulting psychological effects, afflicting certain residents of urban environments, designated SCP-9390-1 and SCP-9390-2.
The exact appearance of SCP-9390 varies from subject to subject, though all reports are similar enough to warrant designation. Additionally, SCP-9390-1 and SCP-9390-2 are also consistent in behavior across manifestations.
Both SCP-9390-1 and SCP-9390-2 are intangible; they cannot be interacted with, nor do signs of their presence exist externally. The exact criteria that causes SCP-9390 are uncertain, though events occur with higher frequency when subjects are alone.
[EXTRANEOUS COMMENTARY DETECTED. DICTATION PAUSED.]
[START LOG]
Oakton: I saw it first! That's why they got me on it, I guess. I do hope it's just me though. Granted, I know that's not true, but I just hope no one else has it so bad— had it so bad. Had.
Lee: And you were aware of others, how?
Oakton: Nothing to do with privacy laws, promise. The others told me. Fessed up, really, like they did something wrong, which is silly. They didn't at all.
Lee: Mm. Have you tried Foundation Psychiatric Services before?
Oakton: I guess. Not like, because I wanted to, but they made me after a few "traumatizing" incidents.
Lee: I remember. You saw me then too, according to your charts.
Oakton: As if. You didn't give me a break.
Lee: You can earn one now, once we're done.
Oakton: Thank god. But, wait. You don't remember seeing me? Or don't remember me, rather, if you're just using the charts to jog your memory?
Lee: I do, I do. You're plenty memorable. I just figured, that, well, you would have thought I was lying for your sake about you being…significant, if I had chosen to omit that fact.
[END LOG]
SCP-9390-1
SCP-9390-1 is a skyscraper, always initially seen on the right side of central vision. The size and exact construction of SCP-9390-1 is variable, though it always appears at least two floors taller than the next tallest building in view.
A large crane is attached to the upper floors of SCP-9390-1, holding a steel I-beam away from SCP-9390-1. This has never been seen in operation. Lights, suspended platforms for window-washing, and fire escapes suggest SCP-9390-1 is inhabited. No inhabitants have been observed.
If ignored, SCP-9390-1 will begin to close the distance between the viewer and itself until acknowledged or a radius of 200 meters is established. It will not grow closer, and will wait to be observed.
When focused on for extended periods of time, viewers will report feeling temperature, altitude, and weather changes associated with being on SCP-9390-1's observation deck. Closing one's eyes results in a mental image of being suspended at the edge of the observation deck. Subjects are unable to move.
[EXTRANEOUS COMMENTARY DETECTED. DICTATION PAUSED.]
[START LOG]
Lee: Why do you look?
Oakton: I don't know. I mean, I do it when I'm stressed. Sometimes I pretend like I'm in a movie. A bildungsroman, the spelling bee taught me. Coming of age.
Lee: 500 Days of Summer?
Oakton: No. Cheesier. The kind where they just kinda randomly look up at the sun and act like they grab it as like, motivation or some shit.
Lee: Pick your head out of your hands, Inderjit. It's fine.
Oakton: Just… embarrassed. It's stupid but it helps. Other times, I kinda can't even bring myself to even do that. I'm just too wiped. Tired of circumstances or whatever.
Lee: Which is fine. What do you do for motivation?
Oakton: About that. So my brain, it'd rather do… the "other thing". Think about that, as a bit of relief.
Lee: Help me out here. What do you mean by "that?"
Oakton: Doing the deed. Ugh. Y'know. It's hard to admit.
Lee: It says here you have a history of—
Oakton: Yeah. Harm. The thing I'm talking about is killing myself. Before you say anything, I don't plan to, I haven't harmed in years, and even then I was too much of a coward for the serious stuff. I just drank some sanitizer, really.
Lee: Understood. What were you looking for relief from?
Oakton: Stuff's just not been okay in a sort of… grand sense. It's really, really tiring. I drop a plate — I should kill myself. I accidentally forget to turn in some work — how long would it take to drown? Would it hurt? Fuck me, I say something that gets an eyebrow from a friend I love and respect — why don't I just like, shoot myself here and there? And then I think about what it'd be like for the bullet to enter my temple, for like, fifteen minutes. And it scares me.
Lee: Of course it does. I don't think you're actively harm-seeking, if anything.
Oakton: Neither do I, I just mean, like, it's for anything. I'm so done with it, but I can't seem to shake it, which means I must be fine with it.
Lee: But are you, like, conscious, rational you, really okay with that being your response to everything?
Oakton: I mean, I'm still here, so it must help. Right?
[END LOG]
SCP-9390-2
SCP-9390-2 is a flock of adult Larus argentatus (European herring gulls). Groups originally consist of just one SCP-9390-2 instance, landing at the subject's feet as soon as SCP-9390-1 is observed. As SCP-9390-1 is observed, there is a steady increase in the number of SCP-9390-2 instances collecting in front of the viewer. This is correlated with an increase in aggression.
Members of SCP-9390-2 do not display typical behavior patterns associated with non-anomalous L. argentatus. Instances have not shown a need for food, water, sleep, or other key homeostatic behaviors.
SCP-9390-2 will not physically harass affected individuals, but will loudly squawk and caw. In this way, SCP-9390-2 instances will distract subjects from experiencing SCP-9390-1's physical effects by redirecting focus. Flocks appear to wait to do so until consisting of sufficiently large numbers.
[EXTRANEOUS COMMENTARY DETECTED. DICTATION PAUSED.]
[START LOG]
Oakton: Not really a fan of birds.
Lee: Bad experiences in the past?
Oakton: Got shit on. It's the little things that life seems to add on when you're already not doing so hot.
Lee: How so?
Oakton: These things kinda just happen when I'm not doing so well already. The bird shit was a while back though. Got nuked on on the way home from being fired.
Lee: You're here now, though. Not very fired at all.
Oakton: I s'pose.
[END LOG]
Both SCP-9390-1 and -2 will disappear if one turns at least 120 degrees away. This ceases the current event's SCP-9390 activity.
Res. Oakton was not the only member of Foundation personnel to suffer from SCP-9390. Other individuals later came forward.
Based on these testimonies, it was found that:
- SCP-9390-1's appearance will change itself to resemble architectural styles individuals are most familiar with.
- All affected have not accessed or lack regular access to psychiatric services or issues with adherence.
- All subjects also report repeated SCP-9390 encounters during periods of increased psychological distress.
[START LOG]
Oakton: I used to think it was just me.
Lee: That saw it?
Oakton: Yeah. But I talked about it in the breakroom a few times. Some people listened. Admitted it. I just mentioned it casually, and then soon they kept bringing up their own sightings. Became official subjects, cases, whatever. Worries me sometimes.
Lee: Understandably so. Is it from an empathetic lens, do you think?
Oakton: I definitely don't wish whatever's going on up here onto anyone, no. I'm more worried one of them would go through with it.
Lee: And you worry about this why? SCP-9390 is just an illusion. All of these personnel passed their own tests just fine.
Oakton: I still didn't want to live, Doctor. That didn't change for me.
[END LOG]
It was commonly assumed that SCP-9390 may worsen periods of mental distress, given its disturbing imagery and potential for sensory over-stimulation. However, while confirming these feelings, subjects report them as being solely their initial reactions.
[START LOG]
Lee: Should be all for today. Is there anything else you'd like to let me know?
Oakton: Not much, I think.
Lee: That's not a no, Inderjit.
Oakton: Okay, fine.
Lee: So, once more. Anything you want to tell me?
Oakton: I guess. There was a little bit I left out because, well, I didn't test it.
Lee: Part of the agreement was—
Oakton: Yes, yes, to earn my little period of R&R, I needed to be thorough. Just, it'll make sense. Promise.
Lee: I'm listening.
Oakton: I just, that bit earlier about being stuck on the edge of -1? I'm not sure I was.
Lee: Meaning?
Oakton: I didn't, well, see it every time first of all. I think the last one was the worst. Happened a few weeks ago. Two, maybe?
Lee: Mhm. And what happened then?
Oakton: Closed my eyes for the first time.
Lee: Did you think about anything? If so, it's okay. This is a safe space, Inderjit.
Oakton: I know, I know, don't worry, I'm telling you. Meaning, I might have been able to move when I closed my eyes. But I found, to my surprise, that I didn't want to. I don't care if it was a dream. I didn't want to anymore. The birds kept yelling at me. I wanted to give up, and I just… couldn't. I postponed it.
Lee: Good for you. Were you thinking of all you would leave behind?
Oakton: I used to, once. Not then. I think I ate myself up too much to care anymore. Thought I was better off gone anyways, were I going to be such a mope about it. Family had one less mouth to feed on holidays, one less person to worry about helping out with rent. But no. I just decided I'd do it another day. They were annoying enough to get me to fucking procrastinate.
Oakton: I think everyone else kinda did the same. If I really wanted to do it, I could get it done another day. It got too cold for me up there. The wind was so biting, and loud, and just unfriendly, and I realized that I wasn't ready for it. Not then, at least.
Oakton: So then I kind of started thinking about warm things. There's a story about a guy who was tested or something by Akbar, Mughal emperor, and needed to stay overnight in a cold-ass pond. He kept warm by just willpower and just looking at a little fire off the wayside. Tiny little thing, a lantern, really. But he did it.
Oakton: Though it's not like my jacket was doing anything. I had shut my eyes, and I thought about warm things, and I thought about hot cocoa, and good food, and my nice little plush blue blanket on my bed, and I sort of just wanted more of those moments. I figured the drop would be waiting for me, if I was ready at some point. But that day never really came. I just… ended up staying due to circumstance. Now I'm too much of a coward to go.
Lee: What's something you want to take away from our session tod—
Oakton: Wait, wait, wait. One other thing I forgot to mention, earlier. Probably a small thing.
Lee: System'll figure it out. If it's important, it'll make a note of it, don't worry.
Oakton: 'Kay. This might have just been me. But that day, when I closed my eyes and stood there — I think they, the birds and the building, were happy. Pleased with themselves because I ended up turning around.
[END LOG]
Affected individuals will report the later experience of having encountered SCP-9390-1 as positive, and the presence of SCP-9390-2 as reassuring, especially in higher numbers. No individual displays signs of mental tampering. Given this information, SCP-9390 only has one tangible effect.
Subjects are more likely to seek out official psychiatric resources or social interactions as a result of interacting with SCP-9390 — proven by Res. Oakton himself having scheduled his appointment with me.