Special Containment Procedures: All food brought into the Site-96 break room is to be observed at all times, and the room locked outside of break hours.
Description: SCP-9096 is a phenomenon where food left in the Site-96 break room disappears
when unobserved. Food left unobserved in this way disappears inconsistently, with no currently known pattern. The type of food also seems to affect the chance of disappearance, as sugary or meaty foods disappear much more often, and soybean-based foods appear to be unaffected.
The phenomenon was first detected on 08/08/25 following complaints by several Site-96 staff members of missing lunches, and has continued since.
Addendum 9096.1: Meeting between Dr. Mark Danny, Dr. Dara Lindsey, and Dr. Shirley Parminder.
ARCHIVE LOG
DATE: 08/12/25
NOTE: Meeting called by Dr. Danny at Dr. Parminder's petition.
[BEGIN LOG]
Three researchers are seated in the Site-96 Meeting Room.
Dr. Danny: How long do we have to be here? I got a date tonight.
Lindsey rolls her eyes.
Dr. Lindsey: Who’s the unlucky guy?
Parminder stands up and places down a note. She clears her throat.
Dr. Parminder: I called this meeting to discuss an important new SCP, a phenomenon manifesting exclusively in our Site's break room! It’ll almost certainly be completely in our purview to study.
Dr. Lindsey: Is this the lunch disappearing thing? That’s not an SCP, that’s just someone stealing lunches.
Dr. Parminder: Ever try hearing me out for once? I asked you to come here because I thought you’d be interested in, well, something to do.
Dr. Lindsey: I’d hear you out if you actually had a good idea, or if Mark got a second date. So probably never.
Dr. Parminder: Are you so eager to doubt my ideas you’d give up what might be the best opportunity you’ve had since you got sent here?
Dr. Lindsey: Have you even filled out all the paperwork to designate it an SCP?
Danny sighs.
Dr. Danny: As the most senior researcher, I say we’ve gotten a little sidetracked, and dare I say, unprofessional. What is this meeting for, Shirley?
Dr. Parminder: The anomalous activity we’ve noticed in the break room over the last few days, which I’ve tentatively designated ‘SCP-9096’, appears to be more than just vanishing food.
Dr. Danny: In what way?
Dr. Parminder: We’ve all been following the situation in Europe, and I’ve found a correlation with our vanishing food. The last two times meat-based food items disappeared-
Dr. Lindsey: I wouldn’t call your chicken sandwiches ‘meat-based’, those patties are mostly breading-
Dr. Parminder: -lines up with the recent Nälkän activity. The first of these manifestations was on Tuesday, very shortly before we learned that those Neo-Sarkics in Prague kidnapped the mayor. And the second was yesterday- just before they killed him.
Danny looks thoughtful.
Dr. Danny: Huh… that could actually be something.
Lindsey’s pupils widen.
Dr. Lindsey: Really? Are you really going for this just because it involves your field of study?
Dr. Danny: If it could help explain what’s going on, why not give it a try? Something to do at least.
Dr. Parminder: That’s what I love to hear! Now Mark, I have a few ideas I’d like to run by you…
[END LOG]
Note: Subsequently, Dr. Danny green lighted the designation, and scheduled basic testing.
Addendum 9096.2: Testing Log 08/14/25.
1: Slice of cheese pizza left on break room table, room vacated and camera disabled for fourty-five seconds.
Result: Pizza slice removed, no immediate global ramification.
2: Slice of raw chicken left on break room table, room vacated and camera disabled for fourty-five seconds.
Result: Raw chicken lay where it was left seemingly unchanged on re-entry to the break room.
Not greatly encouraging, still a few things to try - Dr. P.
3: The chicken slice was cooked and returned to the break room table, room vacated and camera disabled for fourty-five seconds.
Results: Chicken slice removed, thirty-two minutes later, Foundation Intelligence discovered several other Neo-Sarkic cults throughout Central-Eastern Europe planning similar operations to the group in Prague.
A hit! Maybe you weren’t crazy after all. - Dr. D.
4: Boiled beef left on break room table, room vacated and camera disabled for fourty-five seconds.
Result: boiled beef removed, See Addendum 9096.3 for further information
Addendum 9096.3: Incident 9096-Alpha 08/14/25.
Shortly after the final test was concluded, seven different SCP-3288 hives across Central-Eastern Europe activated, revealing the recent actions of Neo-Sarkic cults in the area to be preparations for these new events. Foundation interventions against Neo-Sarkic forces have left most nearby MTF units unready to face the new threat. Researchers Mark Danny and Shirley Parminder were commended for finding the threat.
Addendum 9096.4: Meeting between Dr. Danny, Dr, Lindsey, Dr. Parminder, and Liaison Charles Spinnaker.
ARCHIVE LOG
DATE: 08/12/25
NOTE: Meeting on SCP-9096.
[BEGIN LOG]
Dr. Danny, Dr. Lindsey, and Dr. Parminder are seated in the Site-96 Meeting room. The seat closest to the entrance is open.
Dr. Parminder: If you’re just going to be a downer on our first ever meeting with anyone above Level 3 clearance, you can just leave. I’m sure there’s something useful you could do on site.
Dr. Lindsey: I have grievances, and talking with this Charles guy is the only way they won’t get stuck in the infinite bureaucracy regress.
Dr. Danny: I understand you have some problems with the current situation, but even you have to admit now that this is something.
Dr. Lindsey: We’ll see.
Charles Spinnaker enters the room and speaks very neutrally.
Spinnaker: Hello Dr. Parminder. I am Charles Spinnaker, Administrative Liaison and Level Four Personnel. We will discuss your study of SCP-9096 and certain complaints about your conduct.
Lindsey stands up from her chair.
Dr. Lindsey: That Shirley Parminder is a fraud! A snake!
Dr. Danny: Dara! Calm down!
Spinnaker frowns.
Spinnaker: Agreed, Dr. Lindsey, you are violating meeting code. We don’t raise our voices here.
Dr. Lindsey: I’m not going to sit here and let her get away with this!
Spinnaker: Your complaint has been taken into account. However, if you continue with this outburst, you may be subject to disciplinary action, including but not limited to: docked pay, a note in your employment file, as well as mandatory anger management and teambuilding exercises. We take decorum very seriously.
Lindsey sits down slowly, looking furious, Dr. Parminder smiles at Spinnaker.
Dr. Parminder: Where were we again? My work?
Spinnaker: Yes, SCP-9096 has proven much more wide-reaching than it first seemed, which makes it much more important that everything is moving properly, as dictated by protocol.
Dr. Danny: I’m a little confused here, have we strayed from standard procedure?
Spinnaker: That’s what my visit is here to determine. We’ve received some complaints-
Dr. Lindsey: I filed some complaints.
Spinnaker:-about the documentation. Did you receive proper clearance from your supervisor Dr. Danny before submitting the SCP file to the database?
Parminder looks sheepish.
Dr. Parminder: Well-
Dr. Danny: Oh, is that what this is about? I gave her the all clear on the skip shortly after that when we did the tests. Isn’t that following all the rules?
Lindsey grins, Spinnaker frowns before taking on a chiding tone.
Spinnaker: No, oh no, not at all. That simply is not sufficient for an SCP of this magnitude. We’ll need to do some auxiliary work.
Dr. Danny: Auxiliary work?
Dr. Lindsey: You’ll need to prove it. Under supervision.
Spinnaker: If you were suspected of academic misconduct against the Foundation, the punishment would be severe. Administrative leave, followed by firing if you were found guilty. If you were found to be malicious, demotion to D-Class.
Dr. Lindsey: Still here Shirley? You’re looking a little pale there.
Parminder is sweating profusely.
Dr. Parminder: I think I’m coming down with a fever… Think we could do this another day?
Dr. Danny: This shouldn’t be too strenuous, let’s just clear this little administrative hurdle and move along with our work.
Dr. Parminder: Right… lets just remember that 9096’s been inconsistent before…
A hard voice rings from outside the room.
Director Matthews: Duly noted, now if you will all follow me to the break room…
Dr. Danny: Site Director?!
Director Matthews: Not like I have anything better to do.
[END LOG]
Addendum 9096.5: Replication Study Excerpt.
1: Bread rolls left on break room table, crowd of observing researchers made to vacate room, camera disabled for fifteen seconds.
Result: Bread rolls vanished. Ruling French coalition parties publicly split, vote of no confidence succeeds thirty minutes later. Dr. Parminder is noted to have fainted at the news, this is believed to be because of her support of said government. Dr. Lindsey was placed on administrative leave for her inappropriate conduct following this first test.
[Seven tests omitted, see 9096 Replication Study for comprehensive documentation.]
Conclusion:
All eight tests were completed to supervising parties satisfaction, and Dr. Parminder was resuscitated. she was promoted to Level Three Senior Researcher for her astounding performance. Upon being informed of her new position, she again fainted.
Days later, the Foundation para-satellite network noted a large uptick in detected Akiva Radiation; correlation could not be ruled out.
Addendum 9096.6: Incident Reports
12:10 PM, August 28th, 2025:
SCP-9096 was first observed outside Site-96. In the Site-19 break room four manifestations of SCP-9096 occurred simultaneously.
12:19 PM, August 29th 2025:
SCP-9096 manifested outside an official Site break room. Staff were noted to have begun gathering in a supplemental meeting room during their breaks. At 10:32 AM, Dr. Mike was noted as remarking “We’ve basically made this the new break room”. During his break, a block of cheese originating from Dr. Mike’s lunch disappeared.
Fifteen minutes later, the Department of Heavenly Objects reported the Moon had shifted its orbit 3% closer to the Earth.
Containment Procedures are to be reworked as soon as possible.