If you've ever been victimized by Vikander-Kneed Technical Media, you may be entitled to compensation.
If so, we're here to tell you that you're not alone!
✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷
Here at Vikander-Kneed Technical Media, we're here to acknowledge our past mistakes. We've come to accept that not everyone will feel that our products and productions have left a positive impact in their lives.
Since coming to terms with reality, and with the fickle nature of our clientele, we've since launched the Vikander-Kneed Technical Media Memorial Foundation, for the purpose of recognizing and remembering those who we have touched in unwanted and negative ways.
Could YOU be a Victim??
The following is the exhaustive criteria defining an individual entitled to refer to themself as a "Victim of VKTM". If you're one of the lucky few, we advise that you remind yourself of this fact whenever you find yourself believing that your life could not get worse.
- If you have viewed, utilized, or otherwise interacted with a VKTM Product or Broadcast that has caused you mental distress, including but not limited to:
- Unrelenting despair;
- Feeling of being watched when alone;
- Self-hatred;
- Suicidal thoughts, ideation, attempts, and/or completion thereof;
- Hallucinations of a visual, auditory, olfactory, gustatory, or tactile nature (all other hallucinations are not currently recognized by the Victims of VKTM Memorial Foundation);
- Cotard's Delusion;
- Development of phobias, including (but not limited to) emetophobia, technophobia, plutophobia, autodysomophobia, alethophobia, ergophobia, medorthophobia, nucleomituphobia, and daevinostophobia1;
- Spontaneous marriage to Dr. William W. Wettle.
- If you have viewed, utilized, or otherwise interacted with a VKTM Product or Broadcast that has caused you physical harm, including but not limited to:
- Disease;
- Dismemberment;
- Compulsory self-harm (Please consult Chapter 18 § 1344 of the "Victims of VKTM Official Legal Handbook" for the full list of acts under the category of "self-harm");
- Removal of Organ(s) (Regardless of removal method);
- Disfigurement;
- Internal-External Inversion;
- Transmogrification of Blood, Phlegm, Yellow Bile, or Black Bile;
- Untimely death.
- If you have found yourself becoming sexually (or otherwise) aroused while listening to Mistress Madeline's radio broadcast.
- If you have found yourself becoming sexually (or otherwise) aroused while viewing, utilizing, or otherwise interacting with any other VKTM Product or Broadcast.
- If you have experienced job loss, legal charges, and/or physical retaliation for actions taken at the direction of Mistress Madeline.
- If you have been amnesticized as a result of viewing, utilizing, or otherwise interacting with a VKTM Product or Broadcast.
AND/OR
- If you have utilized a device (electronic or otherwise) capable of facilitating an interaction with any VKTM Product or Broadcast within the past 6 months.
✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷
Not sure if you qualify?
For your convenience, we have included a list of all individuals known to qualify for identification as a Victim of VKTM.
↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓
◄ Back | 1 2 3 4 5… 24978 | Next ▶
Error: Due to device limitations, the contents of this element cannot be displayed.
✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷
In an effort to assist those who have been harmed, we have recently introduced the Victims of VKTM Memorial Fund.
This is a way for those whose lives we have touched inappropriately to receive monetary compensation for their pain, suffering, irreparable injury, legal consequences, legal expenses, emotional damages, lost wages, and/or death.
Please fill out the form below if you believe you may be entitled to compensation as part of the Victims of VKTM Memorial Fund:
↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓
VoVKTMMF Compensation Inquiry Form V3.2.6
| First Name: Enter first name… | Last Name: Enter last name… | Middle Initial: Enter M/I… |
|
Reason for Compensation:
|
||
| Are you seeking compensation for a reason NOT listed above? Yes: ▣ No: □ | ||
|
Provide Rationale:
|
||
Please allow 1-9 business days for processing prior to receipt of funds.