Extraterrestria ignorantium angelica saudade.
Item #: SCP-9091
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-9091 is kept within a Keter-class containment locker in a detached wing from the remainder of Site-270. The avoidance of SCP-9091 triggers has been afforded a Class-V priority.
Description: SCP-9091 designates an anomalous device resembling both a coarse rope noose and a mechanosynthetic quantum computer with antimatter-production capabilities. SCP-9091 is believed to originate at least 14 billion light years away from the solar system and was discovered in Jerusalem on 02/14/2023 during a routine archaeological dig. Its purpose is unknown. A number of triggers have caused SCP-9091 activity in a variety of forms, typically associated with a deleterious effect on local reality, topology, and biology. These are under review.
The following is a collection of notable SCP-9091-related incidents. Please note that the vast majority of data regarding SCP-9091 is speculative and subject to change. For more information, contact your local RAISA liaison.
Date: 06/09/2023
Trigger: No deaths within a 4.3km radius of the object for a period of three months.
Recorded Phenomena: Four Junior Researchers and one member of the janitorial team were spontaneously obliterated on a molecular level before having identical copies of themselves be created in their place 4.52 seconds later. According to determinism, no changes were observed.
Date: 10/26/2023
Trigger: 24 stars in the JADES-GS-z14-0 galaxy went supernova within 0.0043 seconds of each other.
Recorded Phenomena: All eyes within a 4.3km radius became capable of perceiving impossible colors. Sentient beings incapable of sight nevertheless gained ocular faculties. Removal of a subject’s eyes has not caused the cessation of this phenomenon. Whether or not the loss of consciousness would cause cessation is under review.
Date: 02/14/2024
Trigger: SCP-9091’s temperature remained at 12.32 degrees Celsius for 43 minutes and 12 seconds.
Recorded Phenomena: A swarm of over 100,000 butterflies, consisting of 20,000 distinct species emerged from the body of an electrician precisely 3.45km from the anomaly. Analysis of said butterflies determined that all possessed a unique 561 chromosome structure unknown to Earth as well as containing significant amounts of photonic crystal. The electrician’s consciousness remained within the swarm.
Date: 05/19/2024
Trigger: Following 32.1 seconds of brain death, [NAME WITHHELD], was restored to life using [REDACTED] to maintain the continuity of Foundation operations within the United States. The use of [REDACTED] is believed to be the trigger.
Recorded Phenomena: All timekeeping devices within a 4.72km radius reported 3000 years of time passing. No other phenomena observed. Under investigation.
Date: 12/01/2024
Trigger: All humans within a 37.3m radius blinked within 0.0034 seconds of each other.
Recorded Phenomena: 17 Boltzmann brains composed of a mixture of astatine, copernicium, erbium, livermorium, and nitrogen spontaneously formed within SCP-9091’s containment chamber via probabilistic means. All psi-positive organisms within a 2.95km radius experienced ego death followed by cessation of brain functions as a result of information overload.
A number of proposals have been made to attempt decommissioning of SCP-9091, as the budget to ensure none of the recorded 59 triggers for SCP-9091 activation occur is considered unfeasible. These proposals are under review.