The forest where SCP-9031 is situated
Item #: SCP-9031
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: An observation post is established on the perimeters of SCP-9031, made of treated wood and mild steel. Three security guards are to be stationed at the post at all times. Substitution of security personnel must be carried out every two weeks. Any manner of communication or engagement with SCP-9031-1 is strictly prohibited.
The Government of India has subsequently proscribed public access to the discovered location, allowing no civilian to enter the area.
SCP-9031-2b
Description: SCP-9031 is a large plot of land, roughly 1500 m2 in area, located in [REDACTED], Uttar Pradesh, India. The foundation is built with cobblestone on plain land. Every Friday at 3:00 P.M., the bare plot gets converted into a junkyard, circus or mansion without justified reason behind the construction.
Every Saturday, SCP-9031 conducts racing events. A crowd of people, now referred to as SCP-9031-1 emerge from the forests, with vintage automobiles and on foot. SCP-9031-1 are humanoid beings, but their behaviours and antics make them discernible from normal humans. They have limited interaction.
Upon SCP-9031-1 entering the property, the doors to SCP-9031 are closed, and the announcements halt. Inside SCP-9031, there is a fully functional, small-scaled replica of Formula One tracks, and outlandishly designed Formula One cars. The F1 tracks are randomised. From the starting grid area, 24 Asian small-clawed otters (Aonyx cinereus) enter the circuit and proceed to their respective cars. These otters are referred to as SCP-9031-2. They represent imaginary teams, which have no correlation to any existing Formula One teams.| TEAM NAME | DRIVERS FOR THE TEAM |
|---|---|
| Wuishang Clan | SCP-90312a,c,e,f,h,k |
| Drizzle Wizzle | SCP-9031-2b,g,d,w,l,o |
| Bombastic Connoisseurs | SCP-9031-2x,p,r,t,i,u |
| Formal Formula | SCP-9031-2s,j,q,m,n,v |
The rules of the race are similar to traditional Formula racing, albeit less structural and timed. The events in SCP-9031 are divided in three stages: Qualifying round, parc ferme discussions, and the actual race.
All of these events take place in a single day. At the end of the race, the driver which crosses the finish line first wins the race and is crowned the champion. Their respective team gets 4 points, while other teams get none. The champion is awarded with a variety of raw seafood. This entire event takes place in 2-3 hours. After SCP-9031-1 leaves the property, it degenerates into a small piece of diabase, leaving no trace of precursory events.
Addendum-A: Interaction with The Foundation and an Exemplary Race!
A small team of scientists and specialized security personnel1 were deployed to the observation post to interact with SCP-9031and its elements. What followed resulted in the subsequent interaction:
Exploration Video Log Transcript
Date: 29th February, 2011
Exploration Team: Chaitanya-01
Subject: SCP-9031
Team Lead: Dr. Nikhil Patidar
Team Members: Dr. Nikhil Patidar, Dr. Animesh Dutta, Sec. Ram Nivas, Dr. Rishav Goswami, Sec. Lavannya Sharma
[BEGIN LOG]
The team enters the observation post and witnesses SCP-9031, in its circus form. It was a Saturday night, SCP-9031-1 are entered the property, smiling, imitating human conduct. The lights were on and sounds of engines and cutlery could be heard from outside. They lined up behind instances of SCP-9031-1. Their attire was from the 1900's. SCP-9031-1 did not communicate verbally or physically with the team, aside from one instance. The team reached the ticket counter, occupied by an adult male in his twenties. He smiled and simply reached his hand out towards them, without uttering a word. His hand was covered with a white, linen glove.
Sec. Sharma: It appears as if he wants us to buy tickets to the race. That's fine, but how much do we owe you? Us five people are in a group, young man. We are avid connoisseurs of fine racing and would like to see what goes on behind these walls.
SCP-9031-1's smile vanishes and he points at a whiteboard describing "1 ticket=1000$" He frowns and crosses his hands.
Sec. Sharma: 5000 U.S. DOLLARS?! She takes out her phone and types frantically That's approximately 4,70,962 rupees! This is tyranny! We don't-
Dr. Goswami: It's fine.
He hands the man an entire bag full of cash.
Dr. Goswami: Take it out from there. Be honest with it.
After 38 minutes, the man hands them the bag, now only half full. He has a displeased look on his face. He irately gave the team five shiny gold coins. The team enters the circus, and proceeds to their respective seats, which they found quite easily. Inside, there was a replica of the Italian Monaco track. There were televisions, decorations, food and beverage counters and a huge welcome board. A miniature aerial camera helicopter, model EC155B1, was flying over the track. Its pilot and cameramen were otters. At the ends of the track, there is a wide gap, and a giant hole whose depth could not be measured. 24 otters climbed into their respective cars, waving their hands to the audience. SCP-9031-1 cheered and waved back, but all of them cheered the same name: "Jerry! Jerry! Who wins the cup and feasts on clams? Jerry Prost with his mighty slams!" The words didn't make any cognitive sense, but the audience seemed high-spirited. Jerry Prost waved back from its cherry-red car. He appeared cocky, yet strange. Jerry the otter wore its helmet, and everyone cheered for it once again. The other racers were totally ignored. The team cheered for the other otters, despite not being aware of their names.
Sec. Sharma: Dr. Goswami, that money was our ticket to conduct further investigations and get back to Delhi. If I remember correctly, we have a little more than 40k rupees left. 3000$ for a fancy-dress otter in a goddamn remote-controlled car is robbery. Even if it has a cute helmet.
Dr. Dutta: Let it go now. I'm going to have to call the Foundation for further assistance.
Sec. Sharma: They are not going to accept our request.
Dr. Dutta: Can you think of something positive to say, for once? If The Foundation doesn't accept, I'll contact my wife and ask her to wire me some dough.
Sec. Nivas: Is your wife rich, sir?
Dr. Dutta: That's none of your concern-
Dr. Patidar: I would request you people to halt speaking for now. The race is about to start.
[END LOG]
This race produced the following results and awarded the following points:
| POSITION IN THE CURRENT SEASON | TEAM NAME | PONTS | REMARKS |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Drizzle Wizzle | 4 | "We are extremely glad that JP won the race, and we would like to extend our middle fingers to the losers. Get better." |
| 2 | Formal Formula | 0 | "Congratulations to JP for winning this race! We tried our best, Senna worked very hard, but it seems as if luck wasn't by our side." |
| 3 | Bombastic Connoisseurs | 0 | "We need new engineers. If any engineers are reading this, please contact Henry for a marvelous job at Bombastic Connoisseurs!" |
| 4 | Wuishang Clan | 0 | "How the fuck does one fly out of the track from 12th place in the first turn?" |
Addendum-B: Cheaters and coffee mugs
The following interaction was recorded between Dr. Goswami and SCP-9031-2s:
Exploration Video Log Transcript-2
[BEGIN LOG]
Dr. Rishav Goswami was tasked with visiting SCP-9031, after one month of their initial investigation. Upon reaching the observation tower again, he could see that SCP-9031 had taken its junkyard form. The lights were on again, and the decorations could be seen from outside. The smell of roasted chicken filled the air. However, there were neither vehicles nor pedestrians travelling to watch the race. There were a few drunkards, and the entire place was trashed completely. For a junkyard, that isn't unnatural, but SCP-9031 had already displayed neat and clean displays of each property in past surveillance. Dr. Goswami was perplexed. He went to the ticket counter and saw the same man again. But this time, he wasn't smiling. Instead, his head was down on his desk, resting on his arms. Dr. Goswami firmly tapped the desk. The man jolted awake and imitated a surprised face.
Dr. Goswami: What happened to this place? Where are the people, the cars?
The man pointed at the blackboard, which was full of scratches. It now read "$3000 $10 final price". After doing this, he went back to his original position. Suddenly, he rose back up, pointing in another direction. His pupils were still dilated. In the direction which he pointed, was a small figure. An otter, in a fedora and overcoat. He raised his cap as a greeting and asked him to come over.
SCP-9031-2s: Good evening, doctor. I am Niki Senna, from Formal Formula, and I wanted to discuss some discreet topics with you.
It smiles at him. Its demeanor is friendly.
Dr. Goswami: You are capable of speech?
SCP-9031-2s: Yes, sir. I am capable of conversing in any language. Not only me, but Jerry Prost is also fluent in human languages. However, it is only the two of us who can converse with you.
Dr. Goswami: क्या आप वास्तव में कोई भी भाषा बोल सकते हैं?3
SCP-9031-2s: हाँ, सर.4
Dr. Goswami: Impressive… But why did you want to speak to me?
SCP-9031-2s: You look like you can help us. You are from "The Foundation", aren't you?
Dr. Goswami: Help you? What could I possibly do to help you? And how do you know about The Foundation?
He takes two steps back, in suspicion.
SCP-9031-2s: Calm down, doctor. You haven't heard the entirety of my concerns yet. The cars, they speak to us. They tell us what to do, what to say, and how to make it happen. Sometimes, we hear the same sentence: "They don't really care about us…". Most of the times, the words are incomprehensible, but not always. Anyway, those words told us that you are from an organization called "The Foundation". However, they also told us that your organization is extremely developed and has abundant resources. But looking at you, I don't reckon so…
He smoothed out his wrinkled overcoat.
Dr. Goswami: Thank you for your brilliant observations. However, I'm not eligible to discuss about The Foundation's shortcomings or wealth. Tell me, how could I be of use to you?
SCP-9031-2s: Sorry if I was a bit rude. Coming back to my problem, it's about the races. Recently, we otters have observed that our cars always break down before we cross the finish line.
Dr. Goswami: Why is that so surprising? If I remember correctly, the last time me and my team saw this race, we observed that a car broke down before it could cross the finish line. It broke down on a curve, so it obstructed the other cars as well.
SCP-9031-2s: Doctor, I was myself a driver in that race. The car which broke down, it belonged to Wuishang Clan. At least one of their cars breaks down every race. I'm surprised they even made it to the final lap. That's not the issue, sir. Cars from three out of the four teams never make it to the final lap, including my car. However, Jerry Prost's car finishes every race efficiently, without any slight damage to the car. I'm not saying that he…
It sighs, if otters could.
SCP-9031-2s: Who am I kidding? Jerry Prost is a cheater. I've observed each and every of his movements, and nothing adds up. His behaviour is unnatural, and his driving, it's strange to say the least. All of us have to endure 3-4 G's while swerving our cars. After we get out of the cars, the ones who make it, can't even move. We just lie on the ground for some time, which is something the audience can't observe. However, Prost climbs out of the car normally, and even dances around like a fool, as you saw last month. I think Prost has altered something in his car, that is, cheating. Forgive me for my language, but that son of a bitch isn't a prodigy, but a phony.
He stares blankly at the otter's face for a minute and then sighs.
Dr. Goswami: I see. So, I understand your concerns. The end of the race puzzled me and my team leader as well. I will try my best to look into this matter, if I get approval from my supervisors. Albeit I can't guarantee you anything.
Its face turns a bit displeased.
SCP-9031-2s: Please doctor, do what you can do, but as quickly as possible. You can see the situation of the tracks. We don't have any sponsors, no audience, no sold tickets, nothing. I've cried myself to sleep with an empty stomach for the last two days. It's pathetic. The only audience we get are these fucking broke drunkards. How does a person not have 10$? I only got to eat some crab for finishing the race, but now, I've lost that as well. Jerry Tart and his bloody coffee mugs, they irritate me. Him sipping his coffee from a gold cup agitates me. Please, I beg of you.
Dr. Goswami: SCP-9031-2s, if you don't mind, I had another question for you and the other racers. Why do you have to race? What happens if you don't race, and actually live like otters?
SCP-9031-2s: Doctor… that is something which even we don't know. Every time we wake up, we just put on our racing suits, exercise for a bit, and get ready to drive. I… we don't have any other memory about our lives, aside from racing each other, and our opponents dying occasionally at the hands of the tracks. Now that you said it, we have never thought about doing anything else. I don't even know what else to think of. If I'm being honest with you, the cheers of the audience drive me on, force me to win.
Dr. Goswami: Who exactly is your audience? Do you have any idea about that, "Niki Senna"?
SCP-9031-2s stays quiet for some time. Its eyes indicate fear.
SCP-9031-2s: I cannot disclose anything about them, sir. I know I said that their cheers motivate me, but there's something… wrong, so wrong about them. They give us shiny coins that buy us seafood, and we give them entertainment. Other than this, I really don't know anything about them. They have always given me the creeps. When I'm racing and the audience cheers, I feel alive, unstoppable. However, the moment Prost exists the podium, the audience just stare at us losers. They don't have any emotion on their face, and that terrifies me. This is why I had decided to retire into my parc ferme ahead of everyone, to escape those eyes… Please, let us not discuss about this topic.
Dr. Goswami: Be rest assured, SCP-9031-2s. If I am allowed to help you, I will. However, I would like to observe your race helmet for once.
SCP-9031-2s: My helmet? I don't see why not. You are awfully quiet, doctor. I had a question for you. Why do you call me that SCP thing?
It enters the junkyard and closes its doors. After 4 minutes, it returns, with the helmet.
Dr. Goswami: It's just an alias we use for better reference.
He takes the helmet and observes its insides. Then, he smashes it on the ground.
SCP-9031-2s: Doctor! What are you doing, for heaven's sake?
Dr. Goswami: Relax, SCP-9031-2s. He picks up three small microchips from the ground. These microchips were embedded in your helmet. These are speakers. These blast music and voices into the helmets, which you and the others hear. Ergo, you only hear it when you wear your helmet, in your car. The sentence you heard before, it was from Michael Jackson's hit song "They don't really care about us".
SCP-9031-2s: Who is Michael Jackson?
Dr. Goswami: That's not important. The question is, who would do this? However, I think I know who did this…
SCP-9031-2s: Michael Jackson?
A loud facepalm can be heard.
[END LOG]
Addendum-C: Scandal!
After investigation, it was revealed that SCP-9031-2b, A.K.A "Jerry Prost" had a twin brother named "Terry Prost". The team found him in weary and dehydrated state outside of SCP-9031 after a race. His testament against his brother was included in the report created against SCP-9031-2b.
Further interaction with SCP-9031 and its elements were permitted, and the same team was instructed to carry on with their investigations. SCP-9031-2b was contacted and brought in the observation post for a thorough interrogation. Concrete evidence proving its meddling had been obtained from security footage and driver alibis.
Interviewed: SCP-9031-2b
Interviewer: Dr. Animesh Dutta
Foreword: SCP-9031-2b was brought to interview, after the confessions made by SCP-9031-2s checked out with further observation.
<Begin Log, P.M., 20th October 2011>
SCP-9031-2b is sitting on the chair with a panicked look on its face. It swings its legs continuously, a sign of nervousness. Dr. Dutta enters the room, with a notebook and a smile.
Dr. Dutta: Good evening, SCP-9031-2b. I hope you are doing well.
SCP-9031-2b: Hello! Um, where am I? I don't recall offending any celebrity, so why am I here? My race starts in 15 minutes, kind sir.
Dr. Dutta: Do not worry at all, SCP-9031-2b. This interview won't take long at all, maybe 10 minutes at most. My name is Dr. Animesh Dutta. We just have a few questions you are obliged to answer.
SCP-9031-2b: I'm "obliged" to answer? And why is that?
Dr. Dutta: The thing is, if I were to explain why you are obliged to answer my questions, it would take a long time, which I'm sure none of us have. So, starting with the first question: Did you sabotage your competitor's cars?
SCP-9031-2b: It becomes even more surprised, visibly gasping at the question. I did not! Why would I do something like that? I respect my competitors deeply. Well, maybe I dislike Wuishang Clan a bit, because they… are shit. Yeah, there's no sugarcoating it. That team is garbage. But I never disrespected any of my other competitors.
Dr. Dutta: Is that so? One of your opponent's chassis was vandalised. How would you explain this scribed on every chassis of your opponent's cars?
Dr. Dutta shows SCP-9031 a picture. That picture displayed: "JP DID THIS!!!"
SCP-9031-2b: Woah, the writer has a really cool handwriting. It's evident that the guy must be a handsome, charming, talented, prodigal and awesome individual.
Dr. Dutta: So you admit it was you?
SCP-9031-2b: I never said that.
SCP-9031-2b begins to whistle a bubbly tune
Dr. Dutta: Please don't whistle during this conversation. We'll proceed to the next question, since this isn't leading us anywhere. Tell me, SCP-9031-2b, what are your feelings about SCP-9031-2c, or Nikki Senna? He told my colleague some pretty questionable things about you.
SCP-9031-2b: Nikki Senna is a fiasco, a farrago of a racer. Just since I'm better than him, that doesn't indicate that I sabotaged his car. Also, why do you keep referring to me as SCP-9031-2b? I have a cool name y'know? I'm bloody Jerry Prost.
Dr. Dutta: Of course you are. The term is just an alias we use, for efficiency. However, are you sure about what you just said?
SCP-9031-2b: Yes, I'm positive.
Dr. Dutta: What if I said whatever you have said till now, was just a big fat lie? I have the evidence to prove it.
SCP-9031-2b: I'd say you are full of crap.
Dr. Dutta: Out of all the properties SCP-9031 can transform into, only the circus has security cameras, both inside and outside. I'm guessing you aren't aware of that fact. Ergo, you haven't tried to disrupt those cameras as of yet.
SCP-9031-2b appears flustered, from his facial expressions.
SCP-9031-2b: Lies! All of this is an estab-
Dr. Dutta: I'm not done yet, "Jerry Prost". The truth is, it's not you who drives the car. It's your twin brother, Terry Prost. We found him lying outside the tracks, while you went on the podium, basking in the limelight. We have his testament, along with video proof of you blackmailing him into racing forcibly. Also, the testament of your opponents and even your teammates would be the cherry on top for your imprisonment.
SCP-9031-2b is visibly terrified.
SCP-9031-2b: Imprisonment?! N-no please, listen to me. I can't be behind bars; I've got a lot of races to do. I have to win the Teapot this year.
SCP-9031-2b hangs its head low for an entire minute, and then rose up, with a firm expression.
SCP-9031-2b: I'll tell you everything. My team betrayed me. They have made some changes to my car, which I was denied knowing about. I didn't even want to race. It was my team that forced me to do all of this. I'm terribly scared of high speeds, but Terry isn't. Terry is afraid of people, but I am not. This is why we are perfect as a team. We interchanged places after the race. But that doesn't happen anymore. If Senna told you everything, he must've told you the cars breaking down as well. My car is not an exception, it's just that it breaks down just before the finish line, while others fail to reach the final turn. No one gets to win the races anymore. Please help us. I miss my crabs and oysters. I miss getting golden coffee mugs, kind sir. I'll tell you a lot more if you agree to help us.
Dr. Dutta chuckles and consumes coffee, from a coffee mug. While drinking, he stares at his mug for some time, intrigued.
Dr. Dutta: Why should we even bother to help you? What's in it for us?
SCP-9031-2b: We can pay you if you want. A cut of our earnings, 30% at least!
Dr. Dutta: How much does that amount to?
SCP-9031-2b: It must roughly be $1.8 million, I think.
Dr. Dutta spits out his coffee, and looks at SCP-9031-2b in shock.
SCP-9031-2b: Please don't be agitated. We can extend our offer to 40%, at most.
Dr. Dutta: We will think about this offer. Best of luck for your race.
SCP-9031-2b: Um, we don't have a race. I'll go to a bar to drink cheap beer with Terry.
<End Log, [7;58 P.M., 20th October 2011]>
Closing Statement: The decision was made 2 seconds after SCP-9031-2b stated his offer.
PROJECT PROPOSAL-F.1.v.1
"Aerodynamics of Formula One"
Proposed by: Dr. Nikhil Patidar
Proposed to: Dir. Antonio D'Souza, Site-36
Due to the sudden and rapid disappearance of SCP-9031-1 and the breaking down of the cars of SCP-9031-2, I have created a plan for solving these issues. My plan is based on the aforementioned proposal, and is as follows:
STEP-1: Improve the aerodynamics of the cars by totally redesigning the structural chassis and necessary parts. The structure would be similar to the standard of FIA.5 The chassis, front wings and rear wings must be made out of carbon fibre. The engine must be made with aluminium and include turbochargers and hybrid power systems. Strengthening of the halo is recommended as well.
STEP-2: Pit stops are to be introduced. Four non-participating drivers are to act as pit crew and repair the cars after periodic laps. If in any situation, the participating driver is unfit to continue, the remaining one driver must be substituted in their place.
STEP-3: SCP-9031-2 must be forced to watch the entirety of Lewis Hamilton's and Max Verstappen's races, from the start of their careers.
Proposal Status: Gleefully Accepted
From consulting both SCP-9031-2b and 2s, it was found out that the "golden teapot" is the grand prize given to the team with the most points at the end of a month, or a season. SCP-9031-2b shortly disclosed that it would not resort to any form of cheating in future events. It stated that its "shortcomings must be turned into great strengths".
Addendum-D: Mammalian Speed Freaks!
The last race of the season had the following results:| POSITION IN THE CURRENT SEASON | TEAM NAME | POINTS | REMARKS |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Drizzle Wizzle | 8 | "Yay. Our third teapot. So cool. Get better, dear opponents." |
| 2 | Formal Formula | 4 | "If only Senna wouldn't be sick, we would have gotten the teapot." |
| 3 | Bombastic Connoisseurs | 4 | "We need new drivers. If any drivers are reading this, please contact Henry for a marvelous job at Bombastic Connoisseurs!" |
| 4 | Wuishang Clan | 3 | "Why did we get 3 points? Why did one of our points get deducted? |
SCP-9031-2b acted nonchalant after winning the race.
Addendum-E: Kaching!
| PAYMENT RECIEVED | ||
|---|---|---|
| Amount: | 2.48 million U.S.D | |
| Recipient: | Dr. Animesh Dutta | |
| Benefactor: | Terry Prost | |
| Note: | "Thanks a lot for your help! My brother, Jerry quit racing. I can finally be like Senna, my idol! So nonchalant, so cool." | |
| GREAT OTTER BANK, NOIDA | ||
