Item #: SCP-8704
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Both SCP-8704-1 and SCP-8704-2 are to be monitored constantly. If SCP-8704-2 becomes hostile for any reason, it is to be incapacitated immediately. Outside of surveillance, containment of SCP-8704 is not logistically feasible at this time.
Description: SCP-8704-1 is a sentient metamorphic object capable of speech. It has taken a number of forms over the past eight centuries and the only consistent identifying mark across all transformations is that they appear to be "stuck" inside of something. Some of these forms include:
- A stone inside of a trebuchet.
- A scimitar piercing the abdomen of a Turkish soldier.
- An ICBM inside of a silo.
- A sword lodged in a stone1.
SCP-8704-2 is an immortal human named Frederick Cleaver who possesses a telepathic connection to SCP-8704-1. This connection grants both of them a rough understanding of the other's location. Throughout the entirety of this connection, SCP-8704-1 has constantly followed SCP-8704-2 wherever it goes. SCP-8704-2 appears to be afraid of SCP-8704-1 and will immediately evacuate the area when SCP-8704-1 makes its presence known.
Addendum A: Historical Logs:
The following are descriptions of events found in historical logs2 believed to be in reference to SCP-8704 alongside testimonials from interviews with SCP-8704-2. They have been arranged chronologically for clarity.
Valencia, Spain ca. 1230:
This is believed to have been SCP-8704-1 and -2's first interaction. SCP-8704-2 was a peasant at the time and had been searching for a job when he discovered SCP-8704-1 in the form of a sword in a stone. It is believed that their telepathic connection was formed here. Immediately following this, SCP-8704-2 ran away screaming and hid inside of a nearby barn.
Peniscola, Spain ca. 1230:
SCP-8704-2 fled Valenica and took up work as a farmhand for a few months. It is not known how SCP-8704-1 traveled during this time, but it somehow arrived at the same farm that SCP-8704-2 was working at in the form of a knife. SCP-8704-2 picked it up, believing it to be an ordinary tool. Based on accounts from the owner of the farm, a disembodied voice spoke, stating "Wield me, Sir Frederick!". SCP-8704-2 dropped the knife and ran away, jumping onto a nearby wagon.
York, England ca. 1270:
SCP-8704-2 left Spain and traveled to England. It bought a house, got married, and had children during this time. While walking down the streets of York with its wife, a procession of knights escorting King Edward I went by. One of the knights began behaving erratically, his sword swinging wildly in its sheath. After a brief struggle, the sword detached from his hip and landed at SCP-8704-2's feet. SCP-8704-1 then vocalized, saying "He just stole a knight's sword! Get him!" in a poor imitation of a British accent. SCP-8704-2 tried to explain itself, but was unable to as SCP-8704-1 spoke again, seemingly attempting to whisper, and told SCP-8704-2 to "Pick me up and defend yourself!". Several knights moved to apprehend SCP-8704-2. All of them tripped on large wooden stakes protruding from the ground, presumed to be SCP-8704-1 aiding in SCP-8704-2's escape.
Nuremberg, Germany ca. 1350:
While SCP-8704-2's actions between 1270 and 1350 were not documented, it did take up a medicine practice at some point. While living in Nuremberg, it cared for victims of the bubonic plague. On one occasion, SCP-8704-2 was refilling its mask with herbs when a nurse reached her hand past a curtain with a vinegar soaked sponge. SCP-8704-2 reached out for it, but faltered upon hearing a faint voice saying "Yes! Yes! Yes!". It pulled back the curtain to reveal a disembodied arm resting on a table. The arm proceeded to bounce away from SCP-8704-2 and out a nearby window.
Pacific Ocean ca. 1520:
SCP-8704-2 traveled with Ferdinand Magellan when he crossed the Pacific Ocean. During this time it worked as the crew physician under the name of Juan de Acuria. During a storm, SCP-8704-2 was dining with Magellan when there was a knock at the door. Upon investigating it, SCP-8704-2 noticed the back-end of a cannon rolling behind the main mast. Accounts from Magellan claim that SCP-8704-2 "turned pale as a ghost" and slowly approached the mast. The cannon suddenly rolled back out and yelled "Surprise!" before shooting at the Victoria3, leading to a battle between the two ships. SCP-8704-2 jumped overboard and swam away as SCP-8704-1 followed on the seafloor.
Patagonia, Chile ca. 1740:
SCP-8704-2 returned to farm work while living in South America, tending to a small ranch. While feeding its horses one day, it found that one of them already had a carrot in its mouth. SCP-8704-2 began slowly backing away. The horse remained motionless. SCP-8704-1 then emerged from the ground behind SCP-8704-2 as a lenga beech tree (Nothofagus pumilio). SCP-8704-1 attempted to trap SCP-8704-2 with its branches, but only managed to grab the basket of carrots when SCP-8704-2 ran to its horse and rode away. SCP-8704-1 proceeded to yell expletives as it threw the basket after the retreating horse.
Randall County, Texas ca. 1890:
SCP-8704-2 worked as a bartender at "The Rusty Sword" saloon for a few years. One night, a drunken patron challenged it to a duel. SCP-8704-2 insisted against this, but eventually obliged. Once they were in their positions, both of them readied their guns. Before either could shoot, SCP-8704-2's challenger's gun went off in the holster, shooting him in the foot. The holster unclasped from his hip and began spinning towards SCP-8704-2, shooting intermittently to retain its speed. SCP-8704-2 ran down the main street of the town as onlookers, frightened by the anomaly before them, removed their own guns and shot at it, pushing SCP-8704-1 closer to SCP-8704-2. The town sheriff came to the scene and grabbed SCP-8704-1, proclaiming it to be the work of the devil before throwing it into a well. SCP-8704-2 was informed that the crisis was averted, but refused to believe it. They left the town that same day.
Addendum B: Containment Attempts:
SCP-8704 was discovered by the Foundation in May of 2022, when a 911 call about a "Pin the Tail on the Donkey" cardboard cutout chasing a "crazy homeless man" was intercepted. When MTF Epsilon-6 (Village Idiots) came onto the scene, SCP-8704-1 morphed into a rocket launcher inside of a duffel bag. It fired several rockets at Epsilon-6 who were unprepared for the sudden explosions.
Following this, several MTFs were sent out to contain SCP-8704. All of them failed and were injured in increasingly larger explosions created by SCP-8704-1. Despite this, SCP-8704-2 attempted to contact the Foundation after learning of its goal to capture it. Upon being informed that the Foundation was also trying to contain SCP-8704-1, it ceased all communication.
Listen, every time we try to capture these two, more people get hurt. The world has been completely fine for the last 800 years as they rampaged across it. I say we keep an eye on them, but otherwise leave them be. - Dr. Hargrove
Addendum C: CCTV Footage
Foundation operatives tracked SCP-8704-2's location to a grocery store in Florida. After examining the surveillance footage, the first and only recording of SCP-8704-1 and -2 interacting was found.
BEGIN LOG
At the time of recording, it is 1:04 AM and SCP-8704-2 is the only employee still in the store. SCP-8704-2 is wiping up a pool of spilled milk on aisle seven. It looks up from the pool for a moment before getting back to work. After a few seconds, a shopping cart with a large kitchen knife stuck between the grating rolls past SCP-8704-2's aisle. It brakes and slides another few feet before backing up right next to aisle seven. SCP-8704-2 turns its head around for a moment, then returns its attention to cleaning.
SCP-8704-1: Sir Frederick.
SCP-8704-2 ignores SCP-8704-1.
SCP-8704-1: Sir Frederick!
SCP-8704-2 stands up and sighs. It turns around to look at SCP-8704-1.
SCP-8704-1: Sir Frederick, I implore you to do as I say. Grasp my handle, lift my blade towards the sky, and become my rightful owner.
SCP-8704-2: That's the fifth time you've said that.
SCP-8704-1: What?
SCP-8704-2: You usually go on a pretty consistent rotation of "Slay these fiends!", "Take your place as the good and just ruler of mankind!", and "Brandish my blade before the wretches!" but you've been mixing it up a bit more lately. It's a nice change of pace.
SCP-8704-1: Well that's irrelevant. Grab me.
SCP-8704-2: No.
SCP-8704-1: Why not?
SCP-8704-2 rubs its temples and closes its eyes.
SCP-8704-2: You're never going to stop following me, are you?
SCP-8704-1: No. And, if you are so inclined, could you please answer my question.
SCP-8704-2: Why won't I use you? Because I don't want to hurt people.
SCP-8704-1: And that is precisely why you are the perfect candidate! You are morally infallible, a good person down to your core, and you would never strike against another in anger or fear.
SCP-8704-2: I don't want to strike against anyone at all! For any reason! I just want to help where I can. It doesn't matter where, it doesn't matter how grand. If I can make someone's day a little better, than I've done something in my life.
SCP-8704-2 opens its eyes and looks at SCP-8704-1.
SCP-8704-2: Go find someone else. Someone who'll mow down the forces of evil with you.
Neither speaks for a moment. SCP-8704-1 shifts on its wheels.
SCP-8704-1: Well, maybe…
SCP-8704-1 morphs into a mop inside of a mop bucket. SCP-8704-2 appears somewhat confused.
SCP-8704-1: There, done.
SCP-8704-2: What are you—
SCP-8704-1: Perhaps you will never wish harm upon another living soul, and perhaps we will not tear apart the great villains of this world together, but maybe this wouldn't be all that bad.
SCP-8704-2 walks towards SCP-8704-1 and reaches for its handle. It stops just before they touch.
SCP-8704-2: Are you sure you want this?
SCP-8704-1: Sir Frederick, nothing would make me happier.
SCP-8704-2 grasps SCP-8704-1 and lifts it into the air above its head. Water seeps from the mop head and onto the ground. SCP-8704-2 lowers its arms and smiles.
SCP-8704-1: Well? What are you waiting for?
SCP-8704-2 turns around and faces the pool of milk again.
SCP-8704-1: There is work to be done!
END LOG
Currently pending reclassification to Safe.