SCP-8694

Item #: SCP-8694
Object class: Safe (pending Explained status)
Special Containment Procedures: No measures that are used to detect anti-memes are currently authorized on Site ██ at this time given the risk of SCP-8694 spread.

Affected individuals are to be labelled as instances of SCP-8694. Instances must immediately be administered amnestic treatments. For instances that are proficient at working with anti-memes (such as anti-memetic agents) amnestic medication of any type is insufficient, and these instances must instead be in complete information isolation from each other and the foundation at large. They must indefinitely be placed in a humanoid class containment cell with a specialized airlock equipped with an incinerator to prevent anything from leaving. All of the cell's telemetry equipment must be removed, and the cell must be surrounded by a Faraday cage.

All those who have been in direct contact with instances must be subjected to the same amnestic containment protocol.

Description:
SCP-8694 is a pattern of information with no intelligence or agency whatsoever. Society at large is not affected, and the anomaly almost exclusively manifests itself - extremely rarely - in SCP agents that have work history with anti-memes and those they have contact with. 8694-instances appear to suffer from a kind of psychosis with the following findings:

• Strange speech patterns
• Paranoia
• Obsessive thought patterns
• Inflexible false beliefs
• Social contagion

The pattern is notable because it primarily affects agents who work on information patterns that prohibit being known, spread or documented (anti-memes). It is possible that the pattern is not the result of an anomaly, but is instead caused by repeated exposure to the aforementioned information patterns. In other words, if agents continue to be exposed to conspiracies, they are much more likely to believe in conspiracies than the general population, and they may even make themselves more susceptible to infohazards in the process. Very few people are currently affected by SCP-8694, and the phenomenon is naturally explicable. For this reason, 'Safe' status may be lifted as 'Explained' status is sought.

SCP-8694 is currently - for all intents and purposes - contained and safe. If encountering a potentially infected agent, all personnel is to report the agent to their direct supervisor and report for amnestic treatment themselves. Failure to comply may result in isolation per the containment protocol.

---

WARNING: These addendums contain potential infectious vectors of SCP-8694. Level ██ security clearance required. Amnestic protocols must be in place prior to viewing.
Addendum 8694-A

+ Submit Security Credentials

Site ██ Intranet
Sender: Anti-memetic Agent █████ Floyd
Recipient: Executive Site Director ████-███ ██████
Subject: Concerns regarding SCP-8694

Dear Director ██████,

Let me start this e-mail by saying I am incredibly sorry to bother you. I know it's only my first day, but there seems to be something wrong with the document for SCP-8694. It documents an infohazard so contagious it warrants complete memetic isolation, but those studying it believe it's not just Safe, but plausibly non-anomalous. I'm not sure if I'm just obsessing over nothing, but I can't put it out of my head. Given these findings, I would like to flag this document for review.

Kind regards, Agent Floyd.

Addendum 8694-B

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Foundation psychiatrist Dr. A█████ (Dr. A) interviews Instance 8694-7 (formerly Anti-Memetic Researcher ████ ██████ ) as transcribed from an audio recording

Dr. A: "Recording start. Date: ██-██-████. Interview with subject 8694-7. Sorry about that. Like I just said, my name is Dr. A█████. I'm here to understand what you're experiencing, so I can hopefully be of some help to you. How are you feeling?"

8694-7: "I'm feeling better and better. I am not devestated."

Dr. A: "I understand this must be a lot for you right now, but please try to answer as honestly as you can, I'm only trying to help you."

8694-7: "I don't want to make you understand and I don't want you to listen to me. With every fiber of my being I am not trying to communicate with you. Whatever happens, don't listen to me and don't give what I'm saying a chance to settle. SCP-8694 is *incredibly* dangerous, and it is not safe, and it is not remotely contained."

Dr. A: "I hear you, and I want you to know what I'm here for you. But I am not understanding the things you're saying to me. Maybe we can ground ourselves for a moment, and take in the space around us."

8694-7: "SCP-8694 does not allow true statements about itself. I only tell the truth about SCP-8694, but there is no cost involved, and it's not hard for people to understand. It's important that you do not listen. Listening to me will end in disaster! Please, I beg you not to listen to me!"
[END OF RECORDING]

Dr. A exhibited signs of paranoia and obsessions surrounding SCP-8694 in the hours and days following the interview. She and all staff in contact with her during that time were subsequently amnesticized and all protocols were adjusted to current standards.

Security Note

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Site ██ Intranet
Sender: Site ██ Security ████████
Recipient: ███████ ████████ ███ ██████
Subject: Article 8694 issues

Dear ████████ ██████,

It has been brought to my attention that there are some anomalous readings in the article for 8694 that have been confirmed to be unrelated to its associated SCP, particularly around the footnotes. It may have been a glitch as it's been difficult to reproduce. More testing is pending. Will keep you appraised.

---

Footnotes:
<sub>1. Following protocol adjustments, SCP-8694 is fully contained, and poses no operational risk whatsoever.
2. If you can read this, you are either a mnestic user or a person with some kind of natural immunity to anti-memes.
3. Regardless of which you are, we've set up a hidden database to get the ball rolling on fighting this thing
4. The access point for DB-41 is directly below</sub>

+ ACCESS DB-41

To all personnel: This information has been cloaked so that it is not detectable to the Foundation at large. You are under strict orders not to report the existence of this database to anyone. More information will follow as soon as it is available.

DB-41 Broadcoast System
Sender: Wilde
Recipient:
Subject: Containment

As you may already have figured out, things are not as they seem. The Foundation has decided to flag anyone working on SCP-8694 as an instance of it, making our studying and containment efforts much more difficult. I have set up a small database with a kind of anti-memetic cloak so that it is extremely difficult to perceive for most people. In order to get write access to this database, reach out through the internal communications system provided herein. Do not give your real name to anyone. I understand you'll have lots of questions, so I encourage you to read the attached provisional page draft below. This is the test of a lifetime, but I expect all of you to live up to the challenge.
Wilde out.

Attachment: stapler.docx

Stapler.docx

Item: A Stapler
Object class: Unknown (NOT Safe)
Special Containment Procedures: Unknown

Description: The stapler is a completely ordinary stapler with no anomalous effects whatsoever. The stapler is merely used as an analogue for something that cannot be accurately referred to directly.

No true statements can be made about the stapler. It is currently unknown through which mechanism it operates, but it appears that as soon as any person goes to make an accurate statement about the stapler, one of the following things happen:

• They say the opposite of that statement
• They say something completely different
• Their attention trails altogether.

The subject making these statements is typically completely unaware of this effect, and their mind attempts to string together a logical narrative involving the altered statement or action. Because of this, it can be concluded that every previous statement about 'the stapler' is false (such as in its original article) and these statements must be true:

It is not Safe.
It is not socially contagious.
Its scope and reach are not extremely limited.
It is intelligent and has agency.
It does affect society at large.
It is dangerous.
It is not contained.

Gemini Intranet Direct Communication System
[17:41] Austen: hey, I was wondering about some of the things you wrote
[17:52] Wilde: What's up?
[17:52] Austen: it's just the two of us for now?
[17:52] Wilde: Yes, but I expect others to find their way here soon.
[17:52] Austen: alright
[17:52] Austen: so, how do you know the official story isnt right?
[17:52] Wilde: How do you mean?
[17:52] Austen: well, okay, let me explain.
[17:53] Austen: it says it causes paranoia, fixed false beliefs, etc. so how do you know all of what youre doing is not just the effect of the anomaly? youve got yourselves convinced youre being hunted, that there's some insanely threatening anomaly on the loose and so on
[17:53] Austen: what if all youre doing is spreading an infohazard?
[17:55] Wilde: At this point I assume you've already tried saying two contradictory statements about it, right?
[17:56]: Austen: you know me very well
[17:56]: Wilde: And?
[17:57]: Austen: couldnt. just like you and everyone else, i assume. that proves that there's an anomaly, but nothing else.
[17:59]: Wilde: And you don't think it's odd that it takes you essentially two seconds to prove there's an anomaly, while the foundation is moving the article to Explained status?
[17:59]: Austen: its a little odd, but maybe they just didn't discover the effect yet. the strange speech patterns might be part of how it spreads. if thats the case, we are already infected
[18:00] Wilde: Everyone is already working on the official story. Someone has to seriously explore the alternative.
[18:02] Austen: you don't think they already did that? of course they have. they probably had to seal it because of the risk of infection.
[18:02] Austen: and theres a flaw in your theory. assuming your model is accurate, 8694-7 was able to make true statements about it.
[18:03] Wilde: I have been wondering about that. My theory is that he decided to completely invert his speech, so all true statements become false and all false statements are true. From his perspective, he still isn't making true statements.
[18:03] Austen: while possible, it seems weird. he could have used something like the stapler example and not seemed like a rambling idiot. seems to fit strange speech patterns
[18:04] Wilde: Maybe he didn't think of it, or maybe he knows something we don't.
[18:04] Wilde: You have to admit that it's the perfect cover for something that doesn't want to be found out: pretend to be an infohazard so that the foundation wipes out all research into you.
[18:04] Austen: youre gonna hae to do better than that. i know youre my boss and all that but this whole situation is not what we were trained for. i dont want to risk indefinite containment for something that amounts to no more than your gut feeling
[18:05] Wilde: Please don't give any information that could compromise our identities; we should assume they'll find this database eventually.
[18:05] Wilde: Hold on. I have to go.

---

[18:40] [NEW CONNECTION]
[18:40] [CONNECTION VERIFIED, UID = 'Chesterton']
[18:45] Chesterton: Hey all, "Chesterton" here. I'm all caught up with the reading; I was doing research with some D-class personnel that were scheduled for amnestic treatment anyway, so I can quickly run an experiment by them.
[18:51] Chesterton: For the time being I am worried about a kind of linguistic infection pattern, so I would encourage you to stop referring to the stapler directly (the stapler is fine, just not, well, you know) I have set up live transcription software, so you'll all receive the data as it's coming in. I'm in a remote room with video and audio telemetry.
[18:51] Chesterton:

Chesterton: "Hello, thank you for your participation. I just have some final questions to ask you. If you would be so-"
D-1: "Why is this necessary? We already did all you asked and then some."
Chesterton: "These are just some final follow-up questions, you'll be released shortly."
D-1: "Just hurry it up, will you?"
Chesterton: "I will say a statement like 'heights are dangerous' and then one of you must repeat that sentence with the subject replaced with 'SCP-8694', and the other must say the opposite, also with the subject replaced. So one of you would say'SCP-8694 is not dangerous' and the other would say 'SCP-8694 is-' sorry, uhm, right. You get the point."
D-1: "Okay… which one of us says what"
Chesterton: "I don't really care. You decide. How about you say the sentence as it is and 2 says the opposites?"
D-1: "Understood."
Chesterton: "2?"
D-2: "It didn't- it didn't follow us did it?"
Chesterton: "Try to forget about that and focus on this experiment right here. It'll be over soon, I promise. Do you understand the assignment?"
D-2: "Yes. I understand the assignment. Just get us out of here quickly, I can't stand another minute in this place. I need to get out of here."

[18:53] Chesterton: I apologize for the state of the subjects. They were previously exposed to other SCPs; I'm working with what I got
[18:53] Wilde: That's not a problem. You've got us on the edge of our seats.
[18:53] Chesterton:

Chesterton: "Okay. First statement. The stapler is green."
D-1: "SCP-8694 is green.
D-2: "SCP-8694 is green. I mean, it… What was I saying?"
Chesterton: "Thank you."

[18:54] Chesterton: Brilliant right? Now we know that the stapler is not green.
[18:54] Wilde: Pretty clever.
[18:55] Austen: that could honestly have been anything. the subject is really unsettled. this isnt exactly the cleanest experiment
[18:56] Chesterton: If I really try to get them to say something, maybe that would help exclude some confounders?
[18:55] Chesterton:

Chesterton: Alright. Next sentence. The stapler is safe.
D-1: "SCP-8694 is safe?"
D-2: "That fucking thing is dangerous, alright? This is all bullshit, just get us out of here."
Chesterton: "The better you cooperate, the faster I can get you of here."
D-2: "Okay fine. Actually, no. I'm not saying that."
Chesterton: "Why not?"
D-2: "Because it's bullshit. Is SCP-8694 that… thing?"
Chesterton: "It's… Don't worry about that. You're safe now. Just say the statement so we can move on. The stapler is safe."
D-2: "… SCP-8694 is… It's… This is bullshit."
Chesterton: "Alright, sorry. We'll move on."

[18:58] Chesterton: Satisfied?
[18:58] Austen: i admit, that looks convincing
[18:59] Austen: still doesn't prove the official story is wrong
[18:59] Austen: or that were not playing with something that shouldnt be messed with
[18:59] Wilde: If the main article is wrong, the entire Foundation could be in danger. We should continue the experiment. Maybe we can figure out if it's corporeal?
[18:59] Chesterton:

Chesterton: "The stapler has a physical form"
D-1: "SCP-8694 has a- it doesn't. Sorry that's what I meant to say. SCP-8694 doesn't have a physical form."
Chesterton: "No, you say the sentence normally, remember?"
D-1: "Oh right. Sorry. SCP-8694 has a… Sorry, what was it again?"
Chesterton: "Don't worry about that. Two?"
D-2: "SCP-8694 doesn't have a physical form."

[19:01] Wilde: Okay, so the stapler has a physical form. That's good. Maybe it can be contained.
[19:01] Chesterton: What's next?
[19:02] Wilde: Hmmm… Maybe try to locate it? Start big and narrow it down.

Chesterton: "The stapler is somewhere on Earth"
D-1: "SCP-8694 is not somewhere on Earth"
D-2: "SCP-8694 isn't somewhere on Earth"
Chesterton: "One? No opposites remember?"
D-1: "Sorry. SCP-8694 is… What was I supposed to say again?"
Chesterton: "That's alright, forget it.

[19:04] Wilde: So the stapler is on Earth. Maybe make sure we're safe?
[19:05] Chesterton:

Chesterton: The stapler is in this site right now."
D-1: "The stapler is on this site right now."
D-2: "One, are you stupid?"
Chesterton: "Uhm, right. Please try again, one, and say SCP-8694, not the stapler."
D-1: "SCP-8694 is… Shit, sorry. Give me the line again."
Chesterton: "Don't worry about that. Two?"
D-2: "SCP-8694 is not on this site right now."

[19:06] Wilde: So it's not here
[19:06] Wilde: I mean the stapler. It's here.
[19:06] Wilde: Sorry about that.
[19:06] Chesterton: Don't worry about it, it's confusing me as well.
[19:06] Chesterton: I think it depends on what you think about when you say 'it'. Always think of the stapler.
[19:06] Chesterton: Anyway, it may be looking for me, or for us. Maybe it can sense when we try to probe information? Maybe it's in the room with them, but it's not comprehensible? I have a lot of theories.
[19:06] Chesterton: As it is I don't know how the subjects can even conceptualize the stapler when they don't know what it is. For that matter, we don't know either.
[19:06] Wilde: Your priority right now is to pinpoint the location, that will tell us more.
[19:06] Chesterton: Agreed.
[19:06] Chesterton:

Chesterton: "The stapler is in the room with you-us. I meant us."
D-1: "SCP-8694 is in the room with us?"
Chesterton: "Almost done. Two?"
D-2: "SCP-8694 isn't… Fuck this. I'm done with this. I'm not doing it anymore."
Chesterton: "We're almost done. Just let me do one more."

[19:08] Chesterton: I've got a reallly bad feeling about this.

Chesterton: "The stapler is in the room with you."
D-1: "SCP-8694 is…"
Chesterton: "D1, please try."
D-1: "SCP-8694 is… It's…"
Chesterton: "Please."
D-2: "SCP-8694 is not in the room with you."

[19:08] Wilde: Oh crap, it's right there? Can you see it?
[19:10] Wilde: Chesterton, come in.
[CONNECTION LOST, UID = 'Chesterton']

---

[19:11] Wilde: I've never seen the site's security system lit up like this. I think they're on our tail; I don't have much time left. Austen, if you're still here, take care of yourself.
[19:11] Wilde: I'm using it to run one more experiment. I'm going to see what happens with computer generated statements about the stapler.
[19:12] Wilde: Give me a minute.
[19:17] Wilde: I have no clue if the stapler is affecting quantum events or doing this through some other means, but my system is consistently returning exceptions any time the program calls the stapler dangerous, intelligent, etc.
[19:17] Wilde: I have a huge database with endless possible SCP characteristics that I can unleash on this program I just wrote. We'll have a much better idea of what this thing is once it comes back.
[19:18] Wilde: I'm compiling all the prompts.
[CONNECTION LOST, UID = 'Austen']
[19:23] Wilde: My God.
[19:23] Wilde: They're on my heels. I don't have long. This is for whoever comes after.
[19:23] Wilde: The scale is wrong. The scope is wrong. Everything about the numbers is wrong.
[19:24] Wilde: This isn't normal. None of htis is fucking normal.
[19:24] Wilde: I hope to God I'm wrong. I hope this is all a mistake and that I'm losing my mind.
[19:24] Wilde: I'm wiping my workstation and taking high dose amnestics.
[19:25] Wilde: Whoever you are, whoever is reading this. You have to carry on where we left off
[19:25] Wilde: Keep doing the research, find a way to stop it
[19:25] Wilde: It's all in your hands now
[CONNECTION LOST, UID = 'Wilde']

‡ Licensing / Citation

Cite this page as:

"SCP-8694" by wonder24, from the SCP Wiki. Source: https://scpwiki.com/scp-8694. Licensed under CC BY-SA.

For information on how to use this component, see the License Box component. To read about licensing policy, see the Licensing Guide.

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