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Dr. Lachlan Cairns in 1987, shortly before the 8586-CHARON event.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-8586 is contained under the Gravewatch Protocol. As a function of Gravewatch, Dr. Cairns is subject to monthly medical evaluations and, if feasible, additional analysis immediately following any transference events. To date, Dr. Cairns has been fully amenable to these evaluations.
Until such a time as need demands it, Dr. Cairns is permitted to continue to fulfill the functions of their position within the SCP Foundation.
Description: SCP-8586 is SCP Foundation Director of Personnel Dr. Lachlan "Lach" Cairns. Dr. Cairns began working for the Foundation as a Junior Researcher in 1980 and was promoted to Staff Researcher in 1981, Senior Researcher in 1983, and Doctor of Staff in 1986. He is the son of the late Dr. Ansel Cairns and Dr. Lillian Brand-Cairns. Prior to her death in 1987, he was married to Dr. Aileen Lament.
As a result of the 8586-CHARON event, Dr. Cairns has become functionally immortal. Upon the expiry of its host body, Dr. Cairns' consciousness will, after a short interstitial period, reawaken in the nearest available dead body. There does not seem to be a limit to the range of this behaviour, nor to the specificity of the new host, so long as it is within class Mammalia, and has not been expired for more than 24 hours. Dr. Cairns has, at different times, transferred into the bodies of recently deceased human corpses, as well as those of horses, apes, mice, and other animals used for testing purposes within Foundation sites.
Notably, SCP-8586 is also seemingly incapable of transferring into human bodies younger than thirty-three years, two-hundred and forty-four days - the age Dr. Cairns was on the date of the 8586-CHARON event - or transferring into the bodies of animals younger than their equivalent age (though the specifics of this behaviour are poorly understood).
New bodies that become hosts for SCP-8586 will become both reanimated and reinvigorated, with corpses taking on the appearance and well-being of their originator as they were in the time shortly before their death. However, SCP-8586 is incapable of maintaining this vitality for extended periods of time, and after some duration the bodies will began to decay rapidly, a phenomenon that causes Dr. Cairns considerable distress. The length of time that SCP-8586 is able to sustain the reinvigorated bodies seemingly depends on several factors, including the original body's age and health prior to their death. The longest period of time SCP-8586 has been able to naturally maintain a single form has been eighty-six days1.
Bodies inhabited by SCP-8586 will retain all of their original characteristics (aside from hosting Dr. Cairns' consciousness) with a single exception - the right eye of the host body will be replaced with a single electrum coin of Ephesian origin. This coin is the former SCP-███, which was decommissioned following 8586-CHARON. Removing this coin from the eye of the SCP-8586 instance will result in both its immediate decomposition, and the disappearance of the coin, which will then reappear in the eye socket of the replacement host.
Addendum 8586.1: SCP-███
Analysis of the runes present on the part of SCP-███ within SCP-8586. (A) indicates speech, (B) indicates speech, (C1) and (C2) indicate travel over great distance (the beginning and end of a journey), (D) indicates a payment, (E) indicates the soul or self, and (F) is an unfinished rune.
SCP-███2, codename "Ferryman's Coins" were two electrum3 coins that, when placed over the eyes of the recently deceased, could temporarily animate the corpse and allow it to speak, so long as the coins were not disturbed. The original holder of these coins, a collector of anomalous artifacts affiliated with the Marshall, Carter & Dark clearinghouse named Vladek Morzyn, believed they were capable of permitting the recently dead to speak. However, while research into SCP-███ was interrupted by the 8586-CHARON event, early indications were that the force compelling the affected subjects to speech was only creating a facsimile of the recently deceased4.
Dr. Cairns had access to SCP-███ in his position as Chief Biologist at Site-17, and had been studying the effects of SCP-███ on subjects' reanimated tissues. Prior to 8586-CHARON, Dr. Cairns had, on several occasions, requested consults from Dr. Lament, his spouse and a specialist in anomalous antiquities.
Site-17 Anomalous Biological Studies
Test Case Audio Transcription
[BEGIN LOG]
CAIRNS: Let's get started. First subject is D-21421, formerly Diane W. Yates - adult female, age 38. Cause of death was blunt force trauma to the neck.
A. LAMENT: Confirming for the record that the subject is deceased.
CAIRNS: (Laughs) Good god I would hope so. Ready to begin?
A. LAMENT: Let's do it.
CAIRNS: Alright. I'm placing the coins on the subject's eyes now.
(Brief pause. A sharp intake of breath is heard.)
D-21421: What happened? Where am I?
CAIRNS: Can you tell me your name?
D-21421: Who are you? What is this?
CAIRNS: I understand you may be experiencing a bit of distress, but please try to calm down. Just tell me your name, please.
D-21421: I… I don't remember. I don't know where I am.
CAIRNS: What is the last thing you remember?
D-21421: I was… it was dark, and I… my neck, what's wrong with my neck?
CAIRNS: I see. Do you remember anyone else you may have been in communication with prior to your death?
D-21421: I can't see anything. What's on my eyes? Who are all these people?
CAIRNS: These people?
D-21421: Please, take it off! Take it off! This isn't right! Help! Help me, please, somebody!
(Dr. Lament removes SCP-███ from the subject's eyes. The subject deanimates.)
CAIRNS: What did you do that for?
A. LAMENT: Ah, come off it Lach. You know we weren't getting anything else out of her. It was just like the others.
CAIRNS: Mmmmmm. I suppose you're right. Strange, though. What did you make of it?
A. LAMENT: Same as the others. Wasn't able to answer anything specific except what was immediately available around her, and what was obvious about the state of her body. I don't think this is resurrection, I think it's something else.
CAIRNS: I don't know. I feel like we're missing something here. There's something in there doing the talking. (Pauses) What about that rune you were looking at? Have you made any more progress with it?
A. LAMENT: I have, actually. Look here - (sound of shuffling papers) - this is the rune they used for speech, that one on the top, which makes sense, and this one here is either "soul" or "self". But then look at this one. Recognize anything about it?
CAIRNS: Let me see. (Pauses) Is that… travel?
A. LAMENT: It is, specifically, from one place to another far away. But it's not a rune really, not in the way we're used to. It's just a word, it shows up on all these other… well, I suppose they're receipts, in the classic sense, but it was used when describing goods brought to their locality from somewhere far away.
CAIRNS: Curious.
A. LAMENT: More than just that, too. These predate the Greek myths about the boatman, so whatever "toll" they were intended for has got to be… something different, I imagine.
CAIRNS: Or someone.
A. LAMENT: Aye. Or someone.
CAIRNS: So what about that last one then?
A. LAMENT: That one… your guess is as good as mine. These were very clearly meticulously crafted, but that one is unfinished. It's funny - it's like they left themselves room to work, see here? It's not like the rest of the coin where the material has been bored out, there's room there for another symbol, they've just left it unfinished.
CAIRNS: Very curious.
A. LAMENT: I thought it might be the rejuvenation rune, like this one on the other coin, but it's really only the first half of it, which doesn't make any sense. The tool mark here makes me think they started on it but never completed it. (Pauses) Would you like my professional opinion, Dr. Cairns.
CAIRNS: You're not just here for your engaging discourse, Dr. Lament.
A. LAMENT: Clever boy. Well. In my professional opinion, this is an incomplete ritual. What these things do, whoever they were intended to commune with, they are unfinished. I certainly could only hazard a guess at what they were attempting to do with them, but I don't believe they are functioning correctly.
CAIRNS: And you don't think it's actually the dead we're speaking with.
A. LAMENT: That is a question better left to occult studies. Have you spoken to Charles? He may know someone over there.
CAIRNS: Ah, but he's such a bore. Feel like I need to fill out forms in triplicate just to get into his office.
A. LAMENT: You poor thing. So put upon.
CAIRNS: You mock me, miss.
A. LAMENT: Miss? Sir, I am a doctor of anomalous antiquities. That's Doctor Miss to you.
CAIRNS: How could I forget.
A. LAMENT: How about this. Next week I'm traveling to Canada to help Aleksy assess some relics they dug up near the lake. Once I get back, we'll schedule a trip to go chat with Charles together.
CAIRNS: Thank god. I was worried you were going to tell me to go with Alto.
A. LAMENT: Would you prefer that, or my brother?
CAIRNS: Either of them and Charles? Is suicide an option?
A. LAMENT: Lucky for you, that won't be necessary. By the way, you should turn that recorder off. Last thing we need is people knowing we have idle chit chat over dead bodies.
CAIRNS: Ah, good-
[END LOG]
Addendum 8586.2: 8586-CHARON Background
8586-CHARON was an event that transpired on the 21st of December 1987 after Dr. Cairns' unsanctioned experimentation with the aforementioned SCP-███, seemingly in an attempt to reanimate the recently deceased Dr. Aileen Lament. Dr. Lament had died ten days prior during an unexpected activation of SCP-354, an event that significantly affected Dr. Cairns.
Security footage indicates that Dr. Cairns made several unlogged withdrawals of SCP-███ in the period between Dr. Lament's death and the 8586-CHARON event. The relatively lax security protocols, common at the time for the smaller Site-17, meant these actions did not immediately prompt security intervention, with the single exception being one recorded exchange later recovered between Dr. Cairns and then Mobile Task Force Epsilon-11 "Nine-Tailed Fox" team lead Troy Lament, Dr. Lament's brother and Dr. Cairns' brother-in-law. This exchange was not revealed until after 8586-CHARON had concluded, when a thorough review of all Site-17 security footage was conducted.
Site-17 Security Terminal
Recovered Video Log Transcription
[BEGIN LOG]
T. LAMENT: -told you that you shouldn't be down here. It's not healthy.
CAIRNS: Can you get off my case? I'm just working.
T. LAMENT: Don't bullshit me, Lach. I know you're not logging this, and I know what this thing does.
CAIRNS: Are you seriously getting on me for not filing paperwork? Is this really the best use of your time?
T. LAMENT: Come on, brother. Don't pretend I don't know what this is.
CAIRNS: What this is? This is our job, Troy. This is the work we do. I've seen this thing do things that I… that need to be followed up on. That's the job, isn't it?
T. LAMENT: In a controlled environment with rigorous oversight, yes, but that's not what you're trying to do here.
CAIRNS: I don't need to explain myself to-
T. LAMENT: You will need to explain yourself to admin if you don't-
CAIRNS: (suddenly agitated) She spoke to me, Troy. She said my name. NONE of the others were able to do that. Do you get it? Something is different here, and if something has changed then I want to know why. I'm a scientist goddammit, I'm not just going to-
T. LAMENT: (interrupting) You shouldn't have been-
CAIRNS: (continuing) -sit by and wait for her to rot in the ground before the mechanisms of this organization deign to do us the-
T. LAMENT: Lach.
CAIRNS: (continuing) -basic dignity of deciding whether or not we can recover one of our best!
T. LAMENT: She's gone.
CAIRNS: She is not gone, Troy. If I'm right, none of them are gone. Don't you get it? If I'm right, then we never have to lose anyone else ever again. This place takes and takes and takes and up until now we were sure that it would never give any of them back. Well, now I'm not so sure.
T. LAMENT: That's not what our job is.
CAIRNS: What is our job then? Die in the dark? If we don't have to die, then why should we? Is it not better for us to continue the work we're doing? Is it not better that she… that… that she doesn't…
T. LAMENT: Lach.
CAIRNS: (pausing) I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to her. She was dead on the ice, with those things inside her, and I… I was just eating breakfast. I can't live like this Troy, I'm not satisfied with it. Whoever made these coins knew something, they just didn't finish the equation. I can finish it. I'm going to finish it.
T. LAMENT: Nobody lives forever.
CAIRNS: You don't know that.
T. LAMENT: I know they'll box you for this.
CAIRNS: (Pauses) If I'm right, it'll have been worth it.
[END LOG]
On the evening of the 21st of December 1987, an alarm was activated within the Site-17 morgue by Chief Mortician Dr. Wendell Burns. Security teams responding to the alarm discovered that each of the 39 corpses contained within the morgue had suddenly animated in unison and begun screaming and violently dismembering their own bodies, and the bodies of the other corpses. Archival footage shows that each one of these were instances of SCP-8586, as evidenced by the presence of SCP-███ within their right eyes.
Security teams opened fire on the SCP-8586 instances, which were quickly dispatched without issue. In the aftermath of the 8586-CHARON event, it was discovered that one of the corpses that should have been within the morgue, that of Dr. Lament, was missing. Senior Researcher Aleksyen Kondraki was notified, having had previously worked with Dr. Lament on SCP-354, who then proceeded to contact Agent Troy Lament and Dr. Cairns. Agent Lament was on-site at the time, and upon realizing that Dr. Cairns was not answering their calls, both men - accompanied by a site security team - proceeded to the basement of the Site-17 Biology Wing.
After breaching a locked door into the basement biomatter disposal lab, the response team discovered the body of Dr. Cairns in a state of extensive decomposition, as well as the animate body of Dr. Lament, now an instance of SCP-8586, in a state of extreme psychological distress.
Site-17 Security Terminal
Recovered Audio Log Transcription
[BEGIN LOG]
KONDRAKI: I can't see shit in here, can someone get the fucking lights? What's that sound? Is there gas on somewhere?
(Lights are activated)
KONDRAKI: Thank you, let's- oh god.
SEC. CAPT. FIELDS: Let's get this room secure, come on, stop staring and move.
T. LAMENT: Aileen?
KONDRAKI: You're alive? How is this possible? What happened to Lach?
SCP-8586: Troy, I'm sorry, I-
KONDRAKI: Can someone get me a fucking medical team down here please? Christ!
T. LAMENT: …Lach?
KONDRAKI: (Pauses) Lach? What are you… (pauses) What have you done?
SCP-8586: I couldn't… I couldn't… I tried…
SEC. OFF. DAVIS: Hey, get back from there!
SEC. CAPT. FIELDS: Someone grab her!
SCP-8586 steps into the walk-in biomatter incinerator.
KONDRAKI: Troy, get her!
LAMENT: I…
SCP-8586: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Before anyone is able to reach SCP-8586 they close the door of the incinerator, which immediately locks and activates. SCP-8586's muffled screaming is heard over many voices talking simultaneously.
[END LOG]
Ten minutes later, security teams recover the new instance of SCP-8586 from the Site-17 medical wing cadaver storage closet. SCP-8586 is remanded to a temporary containment unit prior to evaluation.
Addendum 8586.3: 8586-CHARON After Action Report
The following is a series of interview excerpts from persons involved in the 8586-CHARON event, originally compiled in the 8586-CHARON After Action Report.
Interviewer: Dr. Agatha Rights
Interviewee: Security Captain Jeffrey Fields
RIGHTS: Tell me about when your team was first alerted.
FIELDS: We got the call from the morgue around 21:10 and were there within about six minutes. It was already carnage by the time we arrived. I gave the order to open fire, but it was hard for a couple of the guys. We had two of our own in there from the 058 breach a couple of weeks ago and having to put them down a second time was pretty difficult.
RIGHTS: How did you know they were all, well…
FIELDS: Dr. Cairns? I didn't, we didn't learn any of that until later. What I did know was that they had been dead. I've been doing this a while - if something dies, it should stay dead. Nothing good ever happens if you try and give death the runaround.
Interviewer: Dr. Agatha Rights
Interviewee: Dr. Aleksyen Kondraki
RIGHTS: How did you know where they'd be?
KONDRAKI: I didn't. Troy knew. I suspect they had spoken about it before. He was shocked, of course, but not in the way that you'd be if you were surprised that a thing had happened, only in the severity of it. Like seeing a body smeared across asphalt after a car wreck. The wreck was bad, but seeing a person blown open like a meat crayon is-
RIGHTS: Aleksy, come on. This is on the record.
KONDRAKI: All I'm saying is, I think he knew something was up. I figured we'd head straight for his office but he went to the basement straight away. He was the first one through the door.
RIGHTS: Can you describe the scene for me?
KONDRAKI: The scene? Gruesome. I mean, you've seen all those bodies down in the morgue, right? Imagine that, but it's Lachlan Cairns. Whatever that thing does to bodies after it's burned through them, it's not pretty. Just all meat slush and rotted bone and-
RIGHTS: Aleksy.
KONDRAKI: What? You were the one who asked.
RIGHTS: I know, but still… that's our colleague you're talking about. Our friend.
KONDRAKI: I don't understand why everyone is so up in arms about this. It's not like anyone got hurt, right? Aileen was already dead, the bodies in the morgue were all dead. The only person who actually died was Lach, and he seems to have shrugged it off just fine.
RIGHTS: You think he's fine? Or Troy?
KONDRAKI: Well no, I imagine probably not. But that's what grain alcohol and Class-Bs are for, right? They'll get over it.
Interviewer: Dr. Agatha Rights
Interviewee: Dr. Simon Glass
RIGHTS: What is your analysis of the SCP-8586's behaviour that night?
GLASS: The most curious aspect of the night was the incident in the morgue. Based on what we've been able to determine, I suspect that when he began trying to adjust the rune on the coin it activated the ritual. His body was destroyed, immediately, and SCP-8586 tried to put him into the closest dead body.
RIGHTS: Which… would have been Dr. Lament.
GLASS: Quite right. My review of Dr. Cairns is that, while he was almost certainly emotionally compromised on that night, he was very much in control up until the moment where he realized he was about to wake up in his dead wife's body. That was likely so intolerable a concept to him, and his rejection of it so profound, that the ritual became temporarily unbounded - casting his consciousness, or the shattered fragments of it, into whatever other available corpses were nearby. Hence, the incident in the morgue. When all those corpses were destroyed, his consciousness congealed back to where the other coin was, and he did not have the wherewithal to resist it. (Pauses) Do you know if they ever found the other coin?
RIGHTS: Come again?
GLASS: SCP-███ was a set of two coins. One of them is lodged where his right eye should be, but there were originally two of them.
RIGHTS: (Shuffling papers) Not that I'm seeing, no.
GLASS: Interesting. (Pauses) I have a theory. There's no reason, I believe, why Dr. Cairns would have wanted to put the coin in her eye, when the ritual up until that point had just been to put the coins over the eyes. So how does the coin end up in the eye? If you watch the video from the morgue, you'll notice something very curious - the coins are over the eyes, not in them, just as would be expected in the ritual.
RIGHTS: What are you getting at?
GLASS: I would need to review the tape more closely to be sure, but I wonder if the coins from the eyes in the morgue weren't somehow annihilated by the same repulsion that initially rejected Dr. Lament's body, shattered in the same way his consciousness was, leaving only the other coin intact - the one now in his eye. When the corpses in the morgue were destroyed, the fragments of that coin that ended up in them were destroyed as well. But then, the question remains - how did the other coin end up in her eye? If he didn't put it there, someone must have. Do we know if anyone else was in the basement lab prior to the security team arriving?
RIGHTS: None that we're aware of. Just him and Dr. Lament's body.
GLASS: Very interesting indeed.
Interviewer: Dr. Agatha Rights
Interviewee: Agent Troy Lament
Dr. Aileen Lament (right) and Agent Troy Lament (left). Image taken during Dr. Lament's wedding to Dr. Cairns.
RIGHTS: I'm really sorry, Troy.
T. LAMENT: Sorry for what?
RIGHTS: I just, I imagine that was a hard thing to deal with.
T. LAMENT: Hmm. (Pauses) Did you ever hear about how we met?
RIGHTS: You and Lachlan?
T. LAMENT: Yeah. It was… eleven, twelve years ago? I was just out of the military academy and he was working on his doctorate at Cambridge. He and Aileen had started going together, and I traveled over from the States to visit her. He was… I mean, you know how he is. A baboon, really, but smart as a whip, funny, and loyal to a fault. More than anything, he could make her laugh - I couldn't even manage that. I knew straight away that they'd be together forever, they just clicked.
(Silence)
T. LAMENT: When our older brother died, back when we were just kids, I don't know if I ever really had a chance to come to terms with it. Mom died not long after, and then dad left, and then it was just me and Aileen. Having Lach around, for me, was like having my brother back again. (Laughs) I imagine it was a little different for her. At least, I hope it was.
(Silence)
RIGHTS: Are you alright?
T. LAMENT: Yeah. (Pauses) What he did was… foolish, and irresponsible, and everyone keeps telling me I have every right to hate him for what happened, but… I've already buried two siblings. I'm really glad I don't have to bury a third. (Pauses) Well, I mean, I will have to bury the third, over and over again, but you know what I mean. (Laughs)
RIGHTS: Troy!
T. LAMENT: I know, I know, I'm sorry. (Pauses) I've shed plenty of tears already. Someday I'm going to die and all that hurt is going to go off into the dark with me, but Lach… how can I be angry at him? Lach is going to have to live with this forever.
Addendum 8586.4: Disciplinary Committee Review
The following is a review conducted by the SCP Foundation Internal Disciplinary Committee regarding the actions of Dr. Lachlan Cairns and the 8586-CHARON event.
SCP Foundation
Internal Disciplinary Committee
Personnel Review
Dr. Lachlan Andrew Cairns,
As you know, your situation has been remitted to the purview of the Containment Review Board, which has deemed you currently unsuitable for standard containment protocols. As a result, your case has been transferred to the Internal Disciplinary Committee for review.
To state plainly the facts of your case:
On the evening of the 21st of December 1987 you knowingly and without authorization accessed a Safe-Class anomalous artifact, SCP-███, an action you likely took on several occasions prior to the night of then 8586-CHARON event, with the intent of utilizing it in a way that did not adhere to the rules for acceptable safe handling of anomalous artifacts in that class.
On the evening of the 21st of December 1987, you knowingly and without authorization misappropriated a human corpse, that of Dr. Aileen Katherine Lament, from the Site-17 morgue.
On the evening of the 21st of December 1987, you knowingly and without authorization made thaumaturgical alterations to a known anomalous artifact with the expectation that these alterations would allow you to control the behaviour of the anomaly in question.
As a result of these stated facts, your body was destroyed and your consciousness was commuted into the anomaly now identified as SCP-8586, a state which you are unlikely to recover from.
In conclusion, the Internal Disciplinary Committee has decided to place you on suspensed leave without pay for the period of one month, starting on the 8th of February 1988. You will return to your duties starting on the 8th of March, 1988. Given the nature of your current condition, the Committee has determined no additional punitive measures are necessary.
Well wishes,
Dr. Harry Kensington
SCP Foundation Internal Disciplinary Committee Head
Addendum 8586.5: SCP-8586 Routine Assessment Interview
The following assessment interview was conducted by Dr. Everett Mann on the 28th of August 2007.
Dr. Cairns during an interview in 2006.
MANN: Hang on, let me just…
CAIRNS: Do you need me to get your nephew to come help you with this grandpa.
MANN: Quiet you, it's just these damn… there we go, now we're recording.
CAIRNS: Feel like these recorders get smaller every year.
MANN: Hell of a thing to operate, though. They've given us these little phones now with the tiniest buttons, really makes me long for my car phone.
CAIRNS: Your car phone! You're dating yourself.
MANN: Someone has to.
CAIRNS: (Laughs) That was quick.
MANN: Well-rehearsed. Speaking of quick, let's make this one as well.
CAIRNS: Yes, let's.
MANN: Stating for the record that this is a monthy evaluation assessment interview of SCP-8586, conducted by myself - Dr. Everett Mann, Site-19. Let's start with your name.
CAIRNS: My name is Lachlan Cairns, also of Site-19.
MANN: When is your birthday, Dr. Cairns?
CAIRNS: April 21st, 1954.
MANN: And your occupation here?
CAIRNS: I'm the Director of Personnel.
MANN: Very good. Between now and your evaluation last month, have you experienced any notable differences in your condition?
CAIRNS: I haven't, no. Same monocular vision, same itchy knees. Doesn't really matter how the rest of me changes, some things stay the same.
MANN: This form you're in currently, how long have you been able to maintain it?
CAIRNS: Uh, let me think. The journalist died back in June in that cave-in, and then I was in that snowboarder with the weird thumbs for a couple weeks, and then… I think beginning of August? That's when the Cellular Biology Conference was, the one they had to shovel me out of that bathroom stall.
MANN: Indeed. It was quite a mess.
CAIRNS: Yeah, sorry again about that. I knew it was coming pretty soon, just thought I'd be able to make it through the weekend. He had good hair, I thought it would look better on stage.
MANN: Let's talk about your sleep. Have the medications you received during our appointment earlier this year been any help?
CAIRNS: Yeah, I think so. It just kind of depends.
MANN: Depends?
CAIRNS: They're all different, you know. Each of them responds to things differently. Sometimes I take those meds and it puts me out like I got hit by a truck, and sometimes I barely notice. But yeah, I think on average I'm definitely sleeping better.
MANN: If you'd prefer, we can try to tailor the dosage to something more suitable for each new instance.
CAIRNS: Nah. It's not so bad that we need to set up more appointments. I think I just had a lot on my mind recently, was starting to get to me.
MANN: Indeed. It's almost been twenty years, hasn't it?
CAIRNS: It has.
Silence.
MANN: I sense you're troubled.
CAIRNS: Hah! Well, that much should be obvious.
MANN: You know what I mean.
CAIRNS: I know, I'm sorry. Just giving you a hard time. (Pauses) I was talking to Sophia the other day, she had called to talk, and I just… it's kind of funny, you know. I've gotten used to waking up and looking in the mirror and seeing someone different. I've gone through so many iterations of me that sometimes I start wondering how much of me is still left in here. I remember how, when I was… well, back when I was the first me, and I would notice little changes because the rest of me would stay the same, but you see a pimple or a stray hair and it stands out. Now the only thing I've got in common with myself is this thing (taps right eye), so it just had me wondering. Is that thing me?
MANN: Does the coin feel like your center?
CAIRNS: You know, it doesn't really. I still feel like I'm just… in here somewhere. Inside my own head. Even if the arms feel heavier or my feet are a little smaller or any of it, I still feel… I feel like I'm still in here.
MANN: That has to be somewhat reassuring.
CAIRNS: That's what Sophia said. She said it would be wild if I was just a coin now.
MANN: A parasitic coin, at that.
CAIRNS: We've seen stranger.
MANN: We certainly have. (Pauses) Alright, I think we've touched on the important things. That should do it.
CAIRNS: Good. I was hoping to grab dinner with Troy later, I think we're going to try and catch a showing of that Transformers movie before it leaves theaters.
MANN: Little on the nose, isn't it?
CAIRNS: Har har. Funny guy.
MANN: I do what I can. You're sure you don't want me to put in for a medical evaluation to adjust your sleeping aids?
CAIRNS: Yeah, it's alright. It's not as bad as it used to be.
MANN: And the nightmares, have those subsided?
CAIRNS: (Pauses) No, not really, just… they're quieter.
MANN: What do you mean?
CAIRNS: The dreams, they're… I can still hear them all, you know? When I'm asleep. I can see them, same as I'm talking to you now. Not always, and the meds definitely help, but sometimes I just sort of… appear wherever they are. In the beginning they were angry, and loud, and… and sometimes I didn't know if it was a dream, or something else. They don't speak, they never speak, but I can still just… I can tell. Sometimes they're still angry. I can see all their faces, all the ones I've been, and they… they want answers I can't give them.
MANN: What kind of answers?
CAIRNS: I don't know. Why this happened. Why they're still here. If they're even here at all.
MANN: And Aileen?
CAIRNS: (Pauses) Yeah. She's in there too.
MANN: Does she seem… angry?
CAIRNS: No, not angry. She was never angry. At the beginning she was… I think she was sad for me. She would give me this look that, like… it would break your heart to see it. But it's been almost twenty years. Of all of them, she's maybe the most… amused. I get the feeling she thinks it's funny.
MANN: I see.
CAIRNS: But there's nothing quantifiable about it, you know. For all I know, all those faces I see, they're just my subconscious fucking with me.
MANN: Do you know how many?
CAIRNS: How many what?
MANN: How many different people you've been?
CAIRNS: (Pauses) Four hundred and seventy-one.
MANN: You're sure?
CAIRN: Yeah. Four hundred and eighteen people - including a sitting US President, I'll remind you - twenty-six apes, twelve dogs, eight cats, two each of guinea pigs and lab mice, two horses and a mule. Troy thought the last one was funny. Aileen did too.
MANN: It's a little funny.
CAIRNS: (Laughs) It's a lot funny. (Pauses) I know all of their names, actually. Not just Aileen - every single one of them, even the ones I didn't know beforehand. The snowboarder was Lynn Simon - accidentally caught a glimpse of 096 in the background of a vacation photo. The journalist was Park Seo-yeon - they were really angry at first. A lot of them were D-Class. A lot of them were colleagues. They're all in there. I've known every single one of their faces. (Pauses) They were all me, I guess. I'm all of them.
[END LOG]
