Director, the board is reacting to the fact that you are currently riding a horse.
by 22o9L &
Deadcanons
Item #: SCP-8533
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: The Foundation must remain in good standing with public health and parahealth organizations for the purposes of data collection. Infected individuals are to be recorded in a Foundation-only database, and reviewed daily by Cavalry.aic. Due to the nature of SCP-8533, further containment is not considered necessary.
In light of Addendum 8533.3, a separate database is to be used to record any infected Foundation personnel. Any infected personnel not at Site-22 are to be relocated to Site-22 indefinitely. In the event that this is not possible (e.g., specialized clearance or duties), other personnel are to be notified of the symptoms of SCP-8533 and the risks of interacting with the infected.
Subject of Interest 8533-B is to be held in a containment stall with a rubber floor in the Block Barn at Site-22. The stall must be sanitized daily and kept free of any loose hay or dirt, as this may agitate the subject's preexisting conditions. Subject 8533-B is to receive hands-on care from trained personnel, with the intention of alleviating its trauma response to human contact.
Description: SCP-8533 is a disease affecting human populations. It is characterized by a wide variety of behavioral disorders, mostly relating to an unusual infatuation with horses.
SCP-8533 is spread by an anomalous form of bacteria found in equine saliva (see Vectors & Symptoms for more information). The disease may also be spread between human carriers by a mild memetic vector, although this remains unconfirmed.
SCP-8533 is extremely virulent, but largely asymptomatic, making identification difficult. It is currently believed that approximately 15-20% of the population of Earth is infected with SCP-8533.
It is important to understand that SCP-8533 is not caused by horses themselves; it is caused by exposure to an anomalous vector carried by horses. As illustrated in Addendum 8533.1, testing on horses related to SCP-8533 does not serve any meaningful purpose, and is expressly forbidden.
Vectors & Symptoms: Non-anomalous diseases similar to SCP-8533 spread via bacteria. Like all living organisms, bacteria seeks to survive primarily through binary fission. Therefore, pathogenesis of SCP-8533 causes carriers to behave in such a way as to promote the spread of SCP-8533 in human populations.
By observing a group of infected individuals alongside a control group over the course of 60 days, it was determined that SCP-8533 originates in horse saliva. Domesticated horses commonly "chew" to express contentedness or happiness, which generates excess saliva. The SCP-8533 bacteria chain appears to spontaneously manifest within the horse's mouth during this process. Subsequent human contact with the mouth/saliva causes the bacteria to spread.
The following was observed in the infected group, and later identified in some members of the control group:
Host behaviors
- Speaking softly or "cooing" to the horse, petting the horse for an extended period of time, and other actions that promote the "chewing" behavior
- Hugging a horse around the neck and repeatedly kissing the face close to the mouth
- Inhibited fear response around horses, particularly in relation to the mouth/teeth1
- While in the presence of a distressed or frightened horse, making unusual efforts to calm the animal, including:
- Lying down in front of the horse and verbally inviting the animal to trample them;
- Offering tribute to appease the horse, such as food or the subject's first-born;
- Prostrating before the animal and praying for forgiveness.
- While riding a horse, profusely thanking the animal for its service, and offering to care for the animal in excess after the ride, which is usually acted upon2
- Criticizing the level of care and attention given to horses by others.
Physical symptoms
- Increased heartrate, which may develop into hypertension or tachycardia in susceptible subjects
- Increased perspiration
- During onset, immunocompromised subjects will display fever-like symptoms, which usually become latent after 1-2 weeks
Subject 8533-B in a private pasture at Site-22.
Addendum 8533.1: On December 2, 2025, Foundation agents intercepted a report of several inmates going missing at the [REDACTED] Correctional Facility in Elmont, New York. While there was no direct evidence of anomalous involvement, the report was considered significant, as the inmates in question were being considered for enrollment in the D-Class program.
Investigating agents followed a lead to an abandoned barn on the outskirts of Elmont, where the bodies of the inmates were discovered in the cellar. All recovered corpses were dressed in coveralls that had been spray-painted orange. Cause of death could not be determined, with the exception of one inmate, who had been trampled to death.
In the back of the cellar, agents located a small transport cage containing an emaciated horse, hereby referred to as Subject 8533-B. In addition to severe malnourishment, the subject showed signs of physical abuse, including bruising, dirty wounds, and needle marks. All four of its hooves were infected with an advanced case of thrush.3
Subject 8533-B reacted with panic upon the appearance of the agents, and fought back during transport, causing additional harm to itself. The animal was eventually sedated and taken to Site-22.
Also recovered from the cellar was a briefcase spray-painted in white with a crude imitation of the Foundation logo. Within the briefcase was a notebook, a ballpoint pen, two cans of spray paint in orange and white, and a plastic container of mayonnaise.
The writer of the notebook, designated PoI-11111, has not been found. Based on the contents of the notebook, this individual is assumed to be responsible for both the abduction of the inmates and the current status of Subject 8533-B.
Due to the severe amount of misinformation present in the notebook, the following transcription has been annotated for clarity.
Found an anomaly. Take that, mom. The creature appears to be a horse. Is it a horse, tho[sic]? I don't think it's dangerous enough to be a Keter[sic], but it's a horse. If it kicks me, I die.
Creature moved to confinement. Horses cannot pick locks. The anomaly has no fingers because of its nature as a horse-shaped entity.
TO DO
- Get some D-Class
- Clean my room
- Write the log
- Pick up testing supplies
- Buy another lock for containment, just in case
- Reply to mom
NUMBER: A234
CLASS: Euclid Keter Euclid
CONTAINMENT: It is stored in a locked cage. It must be fed with a handful of hay that I pick up off the ground everyday.5 No humans are to be put in contact with A23. Any person infected by A23 memetic influence must be terminated.
DESCRIPTION: A23 is a monster horse-shaped creature with memetic powers.6 It does not appear to be intelligent or excessively dangerous. Its main anomalous powers are the capability to mind-control humans into loving horses and being dumb horse fans.7 In that way, A32[sic] is a memetic hazard to all low-resistance human populations.8
Hypothetically, if left unchecked, A23 would be capable of mind-controlling a large human population in order to create a horse fan army that would protect it.9 This is possible since A23 has no limitations on how many people can be mind-controlled by it. The only reason this has not occurred yet is because of the lack of intelligence.
This of course would make A23 a primary target for anti-foundation[sic] organizations like the Chaos Insurgency or Serpents[sic] Hand. Once the creature is used as a weapon, a disaster would occur.10
TEST 1
Idea:11 A D[sic] was put in A23's cell.
Result: After a few hours, the D picked the lock and let A23 out. A23 must have mind-controlled her while I was distracted eating a kebab. This, however, is not a sign of intelligence from the creature, as it could be a coincidence. The D was disposed of. Containment reestablished.
TEST 2
Idea: A D was put in A32's[sic] cell. I grabbed another kebab and pretended to be distracted eating it. I made sure that this kebab had no peppers, so it wouldn't be so enjoyable that it would distract me.
Result: The D must have been mind-controlled before coming into contact with A23, because he attempted to fight back while I was putting him in the containment cell. The test was aborted since I couldn't get the D class[sic] under control.
TEST 3
Idea: The anomaly must be sight-based, since the D didn't need to touch A23 to start fighting back.12 The previous D was blinded and put in contact with A23.
Result: The subject was very distracted and kept asking me how I had blinded him. Once he made contact with A23, he became upset and started shouting. A23 reared and kicked the subject, who fell over. It then smashed his upper body with its hooves.
I conclude that the creature will become violent if in contact with a non-mind-controlled subject.13 Maybe mind-controlled humans would kill non-mind-controlled humans?
TEST 4
Idea: D was instructed to beat A23 with a leather switch.
Result: The memetic power did not stop the D from beating A23. It can bleed a lot! Wonder what happened. Maybe some people are immune to mind control of A23. Or is this guy immune? Two anomalies in one day!
He was not immune.14
TEST 6
Idea: Three infected Ds were put in a cell next to A23. I will test the relation to pain inflicted on the anomaly and its victims.15
Result: A23 fell over after a while. The experiment was too short to gather any info. What a shame.
TEST 7
Idea: Since A32[sic] is in an “incapable” state, I decided to draw some blood from it.16 None of the Ds are reacting to A23 anymore, so I want to see what will happen if I give them the blood. It could be dangerous. But that is how science is made.17
Result: The two remaining Ds became very sick and started crying a lot. I noticed that A32[sic] was also sick and kept making lots of noise. The working theory is that A23’s memetic abilities can make its victims feel the same way as it does.
CONCLUSION
I got rid of the Ds since testing is over. I'm proud to have found such a scary anomaly!
A23 must be kept locked up now that testing is over. I’m considering giving it a Keter[sic] class, but I’m not sure it’s dangerous enough. As far as I know the creature is a Euclid level threat as long as its[sic] contained.
Are two classifications at the same time a thing? I wish someone from the foundation[sic] was here so I could ask. Can I make it so if it's in possession of another organization, then it's declared Keter? Is a creature on the loose a Keter by default? I must spy on the Foundation more to find out.18 I will leave A23 here while I do that. It will probably be fine.
For sure they will hire me!19 Site-19 must be so cool!
Addendum 8533.2: The following excerpt from Council Hearing 94414-C has been attached due to its relevancy to ongoing containment.
R. Powers: Next order of business is the acquisition of Subject 8533-B and its associated transfer to Site-22. In attendance is Site Director Amias Aldrich—
[Loud murmuring is heard from the rest of the board.]
R. Powers: Settle down, please. Director Aldrich, I need to— If I could have silence, please. If I— Order! Order in the court. Board members, I will remind you that the purpose of a hearing is to hear. I will have order, please. Thank you.
R. Powers: Now, Director, an equine subject was recently acquired and moved to your site under the designation 8533-B. Reports show that this item is a known carrier to an aggressive anomalous pathogen. And yet, you are requesting that containment procedures are updated to include regular physical contact with it. Can you tell me about that?
Dir. A. Aldrich: Exposure therapy, your honor. Like purposefully letting a plastic bag drift across the arena. The experiences the subject went through have left him terrified of human contact, and our therapy seeks to restore his trust and love.
R. Powers: That's all well and good, Director, but the object is compromised. Has SCP-8533 had any impact on your site and staff?
Dir. A. Aldrich: Not that I have observed.
[Five seconds of loud murmuring. Reverend Powers again calls for order.]
R. Powers: Director, the board is reacting to the fact that you are currently riding a horse.
Dir. A. Aldrich: Oh, shucks, how rude of me. I should have introduced him! Members of the board, this is Bucephalus.
R. Powers: Does "Bucephalus" have clearance to be in this building?
Dir. A. Aldrich: He goes where I go. Even got him his own badge, see?
[Dir. Aldrich displays two Foundation personnel badges to the board: one with his own name and headshot, and one with Bucephalus's. A notice at the bottom of the badge reads: Clearance on the condition of Dir. A. Aldrich.]
Dir. A. Aldrich: Not his best angle, but admin insisted we take the photo head-on.
R. Powers: And you stand by your opinion that your behavior does not indicate a case of SCP-8533?
Dir. A. Aldrich: Nonsense. I've traveled site-to-site with Bucephalus for years. Long before we brought 8533-B to Site-22.
[9 seconds of murmuring from the board.]
R. Powers: Director, I'll speak plainly. A horse does not belong in a board room. This… activity of yours, ethically speaking, is unfair to Bucephalus.
Dir. A. Aldrich: Let's stop this right here. I've been real understanding in having this discussion with y'all. I appreciate the need for it. But this is taking it too far. There ain't a damn thing wrong with the way I treat my horse. Bucephalus is fed three square meals a day. Four workouts and two showers a week. He's trained, civilized, even. Enjoys walking around indoors, uses the restroom, is not easily provoked—
H. Divine: I'm sorry, what was that?
Dir. A. Aldrich: What, now?
H. Divine: You said he uses the restroom? As in—?
Dir. A. Aldrich: Yes, sir. Fully trained. And he sits, he doesn't stand. True gentleman.
[14 seconds of terse murmuring amongst the council board.]
M. Silo: And you—
A. Gates: How—
H. Divine: And what do you do during this time, Director?
Dir. A. Aldrich: What do I do?
H. Divine: While your horse is using the bathroom.
Dir. A. Aldrich: Check my phone, mostly. And I'll say it so you don't have to — I'm not supposed to do that at work. You can write me up for that one, I won't protest.
R. Powers: But where— Director, where are you physically located during this time?
Dir. A. Aldrich: Site-22, of course.
R. Powers: No, I'm— (sigh) Director, when was the last time you got off your horse?
Dir. A. Aldrich: Oh, I see what this is about. You don't like that I go potty with my horse, is that right? Members of the board… Everybody shits. Let's not be children about this.
R. Powers: Amias, that is not—
Dir. A. Aldrich: He wipes! He flushes! I've seen it myself! What more do you want from him? Site-22 has the best janitors in the Foundation. The best pipes, too—
R. Powers: Amias, I need you to state for the record how long it has been since you last dismounted from your horse.
[Five seconds of silence.]
Dir. A. Aldrich: I'm on my horse right now.
R. Powers: Yes. Believe me, we're very aware. How long has it been? In hours, if you would.
[Dir. Aldrich is silent. He begins counting on both hands.]
R. Powers: Days?
[Dir. Aldrich is silent.]
R. Powers: Jesus, Amias. Weeks?
Dir. A. Aldrich: (softly) Members of the board, I think we can all agree that this line of questioning is highly personal—
H. Divine: I do not agree.
Dr. A. Aldrich: —and unbecoming of an agency such as ours. A man's relationship with his horse… (Hesitating, then repeating himself, louder) A man's relationship with his horse is… A sacred bond! The horse carries the man through awful and unfriendly tundra, from the board room to downtown Ventura at beach season. And back again! And the man, in turn, provides for the horse, salving his sores, replacing his shoes, and teaching him the meaning of love! You asked me about my relationship with Bucephalus, and I'll tell you: my relationship with Bucephalus is fundamental. Ask any cowboy, question any vaquero, they'll tell you the same! Exactly the same as I have.
R. Powers: I don't think I need to, Director. I've already heard enough.
Dir. A. Aldrich: Listen to me! Listen to me. This animal, Subject 8533-B, is very sick. He has suffered terrible abuse. I assume the board has read the reports. You know about the PoI responsible for all this.
[Reluctant murmurs of assent from the board.]
Dir. A. Aldrich: It is my responsibility to care for this animal. He is a victim of SCP-8533, just as much as any human might be. We can't send him back into the world as he is, and we can't leave him to rot, neither. Now, my agents are exposed to the anomalous every day. They understand the risks. They signed up for it, even. No matter what the board feels about myself or Bucephalus, the fact remains, we must care for Subject 8533-B.
[30 seconds of muted discussion amongst the board.]
R. Powers: Very well, Director. Proceed with your proposed containment. But once the dust settles, I'm ordering an inquiry into Site-22. This cannot be allowed to get out of hand. Let's move on to the next order on the agenda…
Addendum 8533.3: Following the finalization of SCP-8533's current containment standards, a full-scale biohazard investigation was conducted at Site-22. Fifty-eight (58) members of the Department of Massage Therapy and the Equestrian Division displayed behaviors symptomatic of SCP-8533, and were quarantined for further study.
Bacteria tests concluded that 26 of the 58 subjects were carriers of SCP-8533. The behavior20 of the other 32 personnel could not be accounted for.
Notably, Dir. Aldrich was not a carrier.
Following a battery of psychological tests, it was determined that SCP-8533 did not meaningfully impact any subject's ability to reason or otherwise perform their duties. All 58 personnel were returned to their previous positions. In the event that a cure is developed for SCP-8533, the associated database profiles have been marked as carriers.
Addendum 8533.4: Subject 8533-B’s health has improved considerably as of January 7, 2026. It is now tolerant to contact with Site-22’s staff, and no longer suffers from malnourishment or infections. The subject has also responded positively to interaction with other horses under the facility's care.
Currently, per the instruction of Dir. Aldrich, Subject 8533-B is being trained to take meals in the Site cafeteria, under the pretense of further improving its response to human contact. The approval for this training is currently under review.
