The past is always in the present.
“It's being here now that's important. There's no past and there's no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can't relive it; and we can hope for the future, but we don't know if there is one.”
- George Harrison
SCP-8524’s cover.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-8524 is to be stored within a Level-2 security locker. Personnel must not touch SCP-8524 with bare skin.
Description: SCP-8524 is a scrapbook with a leather cover, with dimensions of approximately 30cm x 40cm, weighing 0.45kg when measured.1 All attempts to alter the cover in any way have proven unsuccessful. Internal pages can be destroyed, removed, or altered, but reappear in their original state when the cover is closed and reopened.
Documented Page 15 of SCP-8524 when interacting with D-1159
Upon direct skin contact, SCP-8524’s pages manifest photographs, ephemera2 and handwritten annotations corresponding to the subject's personal history, even if repressed or forgotten. When interacting with SCP-8524, the subject enters a state of slight mental confusion or agitation until prolonged removal from SCP-8524. The initial pages appear to depict accurate and positive memories, but in later pages, the documented memories become increasingly distorted toward negative interpretation of the past.
Prolonged exposure (~beyond two hours) to SCP-8524 has resulted in subjects experiencing severe psychological distress, including depression, anxiety, and extremely obsessive behaviors. Subjects begin to perceive their past as overwhelmingly negative, and view their current selves as fundamentally flawed products of those experiences. In extreme cases, subjects have exhibited self-destructive behaviors in accordance with a desire to correct “mistakes” documented in the scrapbook, even when they are unfixable or logically unsound.
Discovery: SCP-8524 was discovered by Terry Webster in Landrum, South Carolina. Webster reported the anomaly to local authorities on 9/24/2023 after living with SCP-8524 for three weeks at that time.
The anomaly was provided to law enforcement. Keywords in police documentation caused alert to the SCP Foundation, leading to the dispatch of MTF Delta-4 (“Minutemen”). All externally held evidence of SCP-8524 was terminated upon acquiring SCP-8524.
Operatives administered Class B amnestic treatment. Webster cooperated with operatives in being taken in for interview. (See ADDENDUM 1)
Addendum 1 - Interview Log-8524-T01
Interviewed: Terry Webster
Interviewer: Researcher Taylor Ward
<Begin Log>
Entrance notes: Neighbors described Webster as reclusive, having moved in with minimal belongings. One neighbor reported hearing him speaking aloud to himself for extended periods, often apologizing, and that he refused social interaction.
Ward: "Good afternoon, Mr. Webster. My name is Taylor Ward. How are you feeling?"
Webster gives no response.
Ward: "Mr. Webster?"
Webster: "Sorry, sorry. I’m just a little shocked. Everything has unfolded so quickly, it all still feels far away."
Ward: "That's alright. Can you explain what happened to you, please? Every detail, if you can."
Webster: "Yeah, yeah. Well, I had moved to ████ to get a fresh start. I wanted to get away from my old life. I just needed…away, you know? Then I was there, had just got to my apartment and that book was in there. Called the police later. Now I’m here."
Ward nods.
South Carolina Traffic Collision Report involving Terry Webster
Ward: "Okay, Mr. Webster. What happened to make you need to leave?"
Webster: "You guys don’t have it in a file somewhere?"
Silence.
Ward: "Alright then-"
Webster: "No, no, fine. I’ll explain."
Mr. Webster sighs heavily, leaning back.
Webster: "It was a bad night. Well, every night was a bad night to me at that time. It was all an excuse to drink. I was driving. I didn’t even see him coming, stupid rain was making it hard to see, and that was on top of…yeah. I blew a stop sign and hit him right in the side."
Silence.
Webster: "He died that night. I didn’t even get out of the car right away. I just sat there, hands on the wheel, thinking if I didn’t move, it hadn’t happened yet."
Webster takes a moment, clearing his throat to retain composure. There is a small moment of silence.
Webster: "I could tell it was painful. A broken-in side door, absolutely crunched front. I thought there was a little bit of blood here and there…the pages were all scrambled together, weird lookin’. I suppose I should know since I spent hours staring at it, but it’s all fuzzy in my head now… I was just sure that he had died horribly- I could tell he died horribly…and his poor family…"
Ward: "Mr. Webster, the investigation said he died on impact from head trauma. There wasn't any contortion of the body or wounds. Did the book show you that explicitly?"
Webster: "No, I could just tell from the pages, the angles…"
Ward: "No external factors beside the pictures?"
Webster appears slightly agitated.
Webster: "What are you trying to get at? I didn't - and don't - have any voices in my head telling me what's going on. I just figured that that was the case. The car was absolutely destroyed in the pictures, that I know for sure."
Ward: "Of course, Mr. Webster. I wasn't trying to insinuate. You trusted the book for this description?"
Webster: "I suppose so, yeah. My own memories of that night are really cloudy, you know, with the drinking’ and stuff. I guess I just assumed whoever went through the effort and had pictures would’ve been accurate. There were so many pages on me. I can’t seem to remember it right now; I just know that there was a lot from my whole life. I kept thinking—if I could just find the moment. The exact second I messed up. If I stared at it long enough, I could step back into it. Change one thing. Just one. I wanted to fix everything, I felt like I could, like I could go back and make that one choice. Took me a long while to realize that you can’t bring someone back from the dead."
He begins to stare off into the distance again.
Ward: "Mr. Webster, could you describe the order of events that led you to decide to move to ████?"
Webster: "Yeah, sure. After the accident, I wasn't in prison long. They knew out was worse than in. Everyone I had grown up with, acting like they didn’t know who I was. Even my own best friend told me I should just leave. I got fired soon after that anyway. The company didn’t want to be associated with a killer, and they had the perfect excuse that I was showing up late every day. I refused to drive. I still refuse to."
Webster appears visibly emotional, struggling with composure.
Webster: "I realized that I couldn’t do it anymore. It felt like the universe was telling me to move on. So I spent the last I had of my money and moved."
Ward: "Did you actually feel an attraction to leave? Something calling?"
Webster laughs.
Webster: "No sir. Again, I’m not crazy. I’m just a man who’s got nothing, no money, no family, no friends. I would rather be a hopeless case in a world where nobody knows me, left with my shame and guilt, than in that town surrounded by eyes. Now all I have is a shitty apartment in a city that takes 12 minutes of key-jiggling to open the door. And it had that damn book inside. I thought leaving would fix it. Turns out when there’s nothing left in your life, there’s nothing to distract you from it either."
He laughs again, quieter this time. Ward opens his mouth to speak, but gets cut off.
Ward: "I see. Mr. Webster, we have it from here. Oh, and speaking of your apartment, I apologize that it has to be confiscated. We wanted to make sure there wasn’t any security risk that someone could have been able to get inside a locked apartment. I’m sure you understand."
Webster: "I understand, but where am I supposed to go?"
Ward smiles.
Ward: "Of course, sir. Here are your new keys."
Webster pauses.
Webster: "Really?"
Ward: "Yes, it's the apartment right next door. Now whenever you’re ready, there is a nurse waiting for you outside for a quick check, then you’re free to go. Thank you for your cooperation."
Webster doesn’t move or react, staring at the keys on the table.
Webster: "That’s it? After all you’ve heard? After all I’ve been through? That’s it?"
Ward: "The Foundation thanks you for your time and cooperation, Mr. Webster."
<End Log>
Closing note: Webster remained in the room for 15 more minutes, then was administered Class C amnestic treatment after interview and placed under surveillance for a timeframe of one week to ensure no further anomalous activity. Investigation of Webster’s former apartment revealed no anomalies, with ownership being returned to the building manager.
Addendum 2 - Experimentation Log
EXPERIMENTATION LOG 1
Main Researcher: Researcher MacIntyre
Subject: D-1159
Assigned MTF: Officer Mato
Protocol:
Subject is to be directed to provide skin contact, then temporarily held by Officer Mato in case of further contact requirements for SCP-8524. Researcher MacIntyre, wearing medical gloves, will remove a sample of multiple pages. Samples will be sent for analysis. Pages will also be scanned for Foundation records.
— ANALYSIS REPORT —
REPORT ID NUMBER: K136-127E
NAME: Tom MacIntyre
POSITION TITLE: Junior Researcher
DATE FILED: 11/15/2023
PRIORITY LEVEL: Low
ANALYSIS OF: Pages 2,18,37, and 56 of SCP-8524.
ANALYST: Lauryn A. Walker
DATE: Analysis completed 11/23/2023
RESULTS: Pages are composed of normal paper with a GSM of 1203(commonly known as cardstock) and vellum paper. No anomalies observed.
NOTE FROM ANALYST: Ephemera were unable to be tested due to disappearance before arrival. Request for second analysis.
EXPERIMENTATION LOG 2
Main Researcher: Researcher MacIntyre
Subject: D-1159
Assigned MTF: Officer Mato
Protocol:
Same protocol for Experimentation Log 1, with samples being sent for analysis immediately.
Subject will then be left in a monitored room alone with SCP-8524, with the assigned Mobile Task Force Officer waiting outside of the door in case of need for interference. The subject's reaction, psychological state, and mindset will be recorded. Class-D 1159 was chosen due to extensive file history within the Foundation, allowing for cross-examination of reported memories within SCP-8524.
Results:
— ANALYSIS REPORT —
REPORT ID NUMBER: K138-A11E
NAME: Tom MacIntyre
POSITION TITLE: Junior Researcher
DATE FILED: 11/26/2023
PRIORITY LEVEL: High
ANALYSIS OF: Samples of ephemera of 2,18,37, and 56 of SCP-8524
ANALYST: Lauryn A. Walker
DATE: Analysis completed 11/26/2023
RESULTS: No irregularities found. Observing disappearance results - does not disappear until not being observed.
Addendum 3
WARNING: THE FOLLOWING FILES ARE LEVEL-4 CLASSIFIED
ANY ATTEMPT TO ACCESS THE FOLLOWING FILES WITHOUT LEVEL-4 AUTHORISATION WILL BE LOGGED AND WILL LEAD TO DISCIPLINARY ACTION.
The following files have been compiled in accordance to the behavior of (previously Sr.) Researcher Sandoval after frequent contact with SCP-8524, leading up to their disappearance.
Interference was not made in Researcher Sandoval’s case due to Foundation interest in monitoring prolonged and frequent access to SCP-8524 and assessing its potential to use its obsessive effects for Foundation use.
Personal logs of Sr. Researcher Sandoval
Log 90, Date 5/17/2021
We’re going out to the site Thursday. The project my mentor is currently on has been showing some weird fluctuations, so we are going to go check it out. Well, technically she has to check it out, but I get to tag along. I’m really excited about it, and while I would say it would be a good break from paperwork, this trip is likely going to result in more paperwork. Researcher Mayer has been overjoyed to have a trainee that can do all her papers for her.
Nevertheless, I’m excited to see the site. A good chunk of all the work I’ve been doing thus far has just been files, with nothing physical yet. As interesting as the files are, seeing the actual thing absolutely triumphs.
Am I nervous? I don’t think I’m sure yet. It isn’t as dangerous as lots of others, and that's just considering what’s unclassified to me. I would say I’m more anxious than anything…Anxious about the trip, anxious about proving myself, anxious about this feeling like the true beginning of my career here.
I’ll keep you updated.
Personal logs of Sr. Researcher Sandoval
Log 55, Date 5/19/2021
So far, everything has been going well! While the fluctuations haven’t stopped, they are beginning to slow down and stabilize. Jane requested to stay a little longer anyway, especially as this is the most change that has occurred here since its discovery. She toured me around a bit, talking about her ideas for the causes of the changes and stuff. It was nice to get a change of scenery, with the offices being above ground with some windows instead of a concrete tomb like our main site, since the anomaly here is outside.
She gave me a rock from the site to remember my “first time” with. I thought maybe she’s finally warming up to me, but then she gave me, you’ll never guess…even more paperwork. What did I say? I knew this trip was going to result in more paperwork. It was just a question of sooner or later.
Our MTF agent that came with us is also almost through training. He hung out with me while I did all the papers, and we shared a drink or two. I gave him the rock. It just felt fitting, since it was his first true assignment too. I hope I’ll keep seeing him around.
The following note was retrieved from a physical log Mahurin kept in Foundation records.
4/20/2022
I knew this job was dangerous. I just didn’t really understand what that meant until now.
They told me this would be my first real mission—something that actually matters. I keep thinking about that word. Matters. Is it my action that matters? The group's action? Our reason for being there? What defines what matters or doesn’t. The danger? The goal? I’m not sure. I think I’ll choose to believe it is my impact that ‘matters’, since it’s the whole reason I enlisted for this position.
Someone mentioned that most people bring a token with them. Just in case something happens. I don’t think they meant to scare me, but it did anyway.
I guess I have it easier than most of them. There’s no one waiting for me. No family, no wife, no kids. Nothing like that. Nobody to hold down or worry about.
It’s just me.
And Nate, I guess.
He told me that if I make it back, we could be roommates. I’m pretty sure he was joking, but I’m going to hold him to it. I think it would be nice to have that. It’s always hyped up when you're a teenager, the idea of sharing a dorm or an apartment. I didn’t go to college, so I’ll consider it my belated experience.
I’m bringing the rock he gave me, as my so-called token. When he gave it to me, he said it was to remember my first time here. Now it is the first time it matters.
There’s a pocket in my vest that fits it perfectly. I almost told him that earlier, but I didn’t.
I’m not really sure why. I think I just want it to be mine, my own knowledge. If something were to happen, I’ll know he was there with me, but he won’t have to think about it like that, have to be bogged down with knowledge that he is the only person ever in my life to have meaning to me. That his impact matters. I don’t want him to feel guilt.
He’s going to go far in this world. You can tell.
I’m not going to be the thing that holds him back.
[RESTRICTED] INCIDENT REPORT:
EVENT-3868-K
Event designation: Localized K-Class Reality Disruption
Impacted location: 38.60525° N, 76.79488° W4
Documentation date: 4/24/2024
INCIDENT DESCRIPTION
EVENT-8524-K refers to a localized failure of the dimensional fabric within Waldorf, Maryland. The event is spatially bounded, resulting in a (containable) area of unstructured reality.
On April 21st, 2024, MTF Zeta-9 (“Mole Rats”) and MTF Epsilon-11 (“Nine-Tailed Fox”) were deployed due to signs of the unstable nature of the area. Upon arrival of forces, ██████████████████████
████████████████. Hostiles emerged from ████████.
After approximately an hour, backup MTF forces were able to defeat the hostiles. Once clear, Scranton Reality Anchors (SRAs) were successfully deployed, █████████████████████████████
██████████████████.
No definitive cause for the initial destabilization has been identified.
Casualties : [Number] confirmed, [number] labeled as missing and presumed dead.
CONTAINMENT PROCEDURES, RECOVERY, AND STABLISATION
The affected area is currently under Protocol ████████l. A perimeter of SRAs has been established as well as a containment structure to prevent ████████████████ and discovery by civilians. All personnel exiting the zone must ████████████████ quarantine procedures.
Recovery - 40% stabilized. Hostiles are contained.
Projected Resolution : Ongoing monitoring required. Permanent containment or site termination is approved if necessary.
Log 140, Date 4/23/2023
He’s alive. I’m so glad he’s alive. I got here as fast as I could. I didn’t leave his side, not until they told me he’d make it through the night. Even then, I only left because they made me.
I’m still in the waiting room.
I told him that if he lived, we could be roommates. I only half meant it at the time, but I mean it now. He has nowhere else to go. No one else.
He’s going to be fine. He just has to make it through tomorrow. Then a few more days. Then a week. Then so on and so forth until he's old and can pass peacefully, painlessly.
He just has to keep going. He can’t die here. Not like this. He’s been there for me through everything. Every bad night, every time I thought I couldn’t keep doing this. He stayed. He helped me through. He doesn’t get to disappear now. It’s not fair. I haven’t even begun to return that support.
He’s spent years in safer assignments. Personal protection, perimeter checks, patrol, anything that kept him out of the field. He shouldn’t even have been there.
I won’t let this be it.
I’ll make sure he’s okay.
what the hell happened?
Log 142, Date 5/28/2024
He’s finally out of the hospital. He’s stable physically, but psychologically anything can set him off the edge. It took him a while to even remember who I was after he woke up, and honestly, that part stuck with me a lot more than I thought it would. I was terrified I had lost years of friendship.
I’ve been taking care of him as much as I can, but I’m still gone most of the day. Sometimes all of it. I’ve got cameras set up around the house like an anxious parent and everything, felt ridiculous doing so, but the reassurance that I could make sure he was okay was worth it. He mostly just sits there, in his wheelchair, staring at the wall.
I’ve tried asking him what happened. Every time I get close to it, he starts panicking. Won’t even let me finish the question, just yell at me until I stop talking about it. I tried looking into it, but the files are classified.
I tell myself I don’t need to know.
I don’t think that’s true.
I’m worried about him.
CONTAINMENT ACCESS
SCP-8524
———
Date : 6/5/2025
Researcher : Senior Researcher Sandoval
Log 268, Date 6/17/2025
It had a lot of pages dedicated to seeing Mahurin again after whatever happened to him. It was also really focused on the rock - the one I gave him years ago when we had just become friends.
There were so many moments that I missed - it being in his hand when I first saw him, then on his hospital table. I didn’t think much of it, but nobody could have brought it there, which means he already had it. He already had it on him when he went out into the field.
The rock from an anomalous site.
His squad wouldn’t have been sent in to deal with something so dangerous, something that was able to massacre MTF forces. It’s only sensible to believe something could’vetriggered an event, and I gave it to him.
I can’t stop thinking about it.
To: Dr. Sandoval
From: Site Director █████
Subject: RE : Request for Classified Documentation
File 3868-0 : Approved
File 3868-1 : Approved
EVENT-3868-K : Denied
File 2846 - 7 : Approved
I would like to know exactly why you want EVENT-3868-K before I approve it.
Site Director █████
Site 529
Log 269, Date 6/18/2025
Sometimes I forget my position. I forget that I’m allowed to request documents, and not write exactly why. I can’t really recall the last time I was denied. I think the reason I’m so shocked by it now is because this time it's against the rules, or at least, I’m pretty sure it is. This time there isn’t a project or experimental reason behind it, just my own personal need, the need to know. I tried to ignore it, to go about my day without going back to those images, but I can’t. I haven’t been able to get good sleep the past few days. I just wanted to put an end to it once and for all…is it my fault or not? It feels like every time I find something that points toward not, I find something that counters it.
I spent the entire workday at my desk, reading through it all. I’ve learned that where he was dispatched was an anomalous area, a physical space of unknown properties aside from some weird paraphysics stuff. I don’t like the similarities between that and where the rock had come from all those years ago…
It’s also been projecting an rise of anomalous activity over the years, hence why Mahurin was sent in at all, but still. They didn’t spike around, it was just a consistent rise, nothing drastic, and whatever happened was definitely drastic.
I hate that I don’t know. I can’t look at Mahurin anymore, wondering if it's all my fault that his whole life was swept out from underneath him. I just want to know. That’s all.
Log 270, Date 6/20/2025
I fell asleep at my desk. Mahurin is going to kill me if he realizes. He always says that sleep is the most important thing, no matter what. There have been many times where he has tapped me on the shoulder, closed my computer, and either guided me to my bed or forcibly dragged me (as much as he could, anyway…)
The book is still here with me too. I keep moving it to the corner of my desk, trying to ignore it, but I keep cycling between looking in it and looking at the documents, trying to find out what it all means. It shows memories, connections between them. It wouldn’t highlight the rock if it wasn’t connected. It has to be connected. Connected to the rock, to Mahurin, to me. To the men who lost their lives…
It has to be my fault.
CONTAINMENT ACCESS
SCP-8524
———
Date : 6/17/2025
Researcher : Senior Researcher Sandoval
Date : 6/18/2025
Researcher : Senior Researcher Sandoval
Date : 6/19/2025
Researcher : Senior Researcher Sandoval
The following transcripts are from pulled footage of the security cameras in Sandoval and Mahurin’s possession.
»Begin log - 8:03 pm, 6/20/2025«
Sandoval enters and immediately heads toward his room, hands full with papers.
Mahurin: Nate, Wait.
Sandoval turns around, seeming almost delirious.
Mahurin: "Nate, Where have you been?"
Sandoval: "I've been right here."
Mahurin: "No. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you staying at the office. I hope you're at least sleeping over there."
Sandoval: "Oh. Don't worry. It's just a very big project, that's all."
Mahurin: "Nate, please. I know you’re avoiding me. Why haven't you even been able to look at me?"
Sandoval: "It's a big project."
Mahurin: "Nate. You haven't talked to me in weeks."
Sandoval: "I'm sorry, Henry, it's a big project."
Mahurin: "Am I getting in the way?"
This line seems to get Sandoval’s actual attention.
Sandoval: "No, of course not. It's just that- this project, I might be able to make it better. Make you better."
Mahurin: "Nate, I'm perfectly fine with just you, here."
Sandoval: "No, don't you want to be better?"
Mahurin: "I thought everything was fine how it's been? What’s going on?"
Sandoval: "It has been, but your life could be better. You could live without me, walk again, see again, get your life back."
Mahurin: "But I have a life, right here, and I’m damned proud of it."
Silence for a moment.
Mahurin: "Is it that you want me to leave?"
Sandoval: "No, no, of course not. But there's no way you want to live like this."
Silence. Sandoval seems to glaze over again, as if suddenly remembering what he was doing.
Sandoval: "I've got to go."
Sandoval turns and leaves to his room, shutting the door almost violently.
Mahurin: "Oh, Nate. I don’t mind living like this. As long as it's with you."
»End log«
»Begin log - 8:35 pm, 6/21/2025«
This time, Sandoval enters excited, perhaps teetering on crazed.
Sandoval: "Henry, Henry, remember that project? Remember how I said it could help you?"
Mahurin: "Nate?"
Sandoval: "It might work!! I can make it work. This is exciting, isn’t it? I’ll get my job back, and you back-"
Mahurin: "You lost your job?!"
Sandoval: "Just a little demoted. I've been busy trying to help you. To help us. It is my fault."
Mahurin: "Nate, you didn’t do this! You didn’t do anything. You wouldn’t hurt anyone."
Sandoval:Ignoring Mahurin "I’m getting close, I can tell. Just you wait. I’m going to fix everything!"
Mahurin: "Please Nate, it’s fine. Please. No, don’t go to your room again-"
Sandoval has already left to his room.
»End log«
To: Dr. Sandoval
From: Site Director
Subject: RE:Request for classified documentation
EVENT-3868-K:Approved with redactions
I want it to be clear that saying “so I can fix things” isn’t really a clear response. I’ve made it so it can fit your classification, but no, don’t you dare send me a request to see the redacted lines.
CONTAINMENT ACCESS
SCP-8524
———
Date : 6/21/2025
Researcher : Researcher Sandoval
Date : 6/22/2025
Researcher : Researcher Sandoval
Date : 6/23/2025
Researcher : Researcher Sandoval
»Begin log - 8:40 pm, 6/27/2025«
Sandoval enters, and tries to head straight toward his room like he has everyday, though at this moment it is more like an office he is allowed to be in overnight. This time, however, Mahurin is in the way with his wheelchair. Sandoval becomes agitated immediately upon this action.
Sandoval: "Henry, what are you doing?"
Mahurin: "No. It can wait. Please Nate, you haven’t even talked to me in god knows how long. I could’ve forgotten we are roommates if I were a little bit stupider. But I’m not. And I can tell that you’re definitely going through something, and you're not going through it in a good way."
Sandoval: "Don’t make me remove the wheels. Move."
Mahurin: "You wouldn’t dare."
Sandoval: "I don’t understand your problem. Why are you directly hindering your cure?! What part of this could fix you did you not hear? I have already caused this issue."
Mahurin: “I don’t need to be fixed. I need you to stop trying to undo something that already happened! I don’t give a shit. I was - I am, happy just to be here with you. I've had nobody my entire life. Then I had you. Now I’m alone again. Please come back. We can work this out together, no matter how classified or whatnot-"
Sandoval shakes his head
Sandoval: This is for your own good. If I don’t fix it, then it means I continued to let it happen. You don’t deserve that.
Sandoval pushes him out of the way and enters the room.
»End log«
»Begin log - 11:45 pm, 7/31/2025«
Sandoval enters, heavily malnourished and dehydrated, headed toward his office, not even looking up.»End log«
Log 370, Date 10/7/2025
I will fix it.
I will fix what I have caused.
It is what I owe to him. To them all. To myself.
…
To: moc.liamg|48lavodnaS_nahtaN#moc.liamg|48lavodnaS_nahtaN
From: moc.liamg|672niruhaM_yrneH#moc.liamg|672niruhaM_yrneH
Subject: Goodbye?
Hey Nate.
You’re gone now, so this is the only way I can talk to you. Or try to. The therapist lady said it’ll help.
Whatever you did helped a little. Suddenly the doctor is saying my legs might have a chance, maybe my eye too. The question is did whatever you do cause it, or the sacrifice you made trying to help me cause enough good karma or whatever.
I would trade it all for you back. I would cut them off blindly. I would take my arms too. I don’t even care. I would give anything to not receive that letter on our doorstep, embossed with the Foundation logo, telling me you were gone and not coming back. That I was truly alone again.
I keep thinking about the last time I saw you. It feels like it should be a sad memory - that I didn’t say enough. That you ignored me. But I don’t see it that way. To me, it was you in your element, you nerd. Hands full of papers, excited by what you were working on. It’s what you were born to do.
I knew you were meant for great things. I know you achieved some of them and I just don’t know. I’m forever sorry if I ever hindered you, Nate, but please know that those years with you were the happiest of my life. I know, I know, cliche, but it’s true.
Goodbye Nate.
Wait for me, will you?
