MAYBE I'M NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH.
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Text was found in 12 images. Automatically transcribing text...
ANOMALOUS ITEM
"DISRUPTIVE PAPERCLIP"
CLASS AND DESIGNATION PENDING
UNABLE TO DEVISE CONTAINMENT
PROCEDURES
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FOUND IN MY CLOSET. TEMP 67°
SINCE DISCOVERY, MOST OBJECTS HAVE
BEEN UNSUITABLE FOR THEIR INTENDED
PURPOSE. FORM FACTOR MATERIAL PROPERTIES
ALL WRONG. PENIS FINE BUT BOWL [Illegible]
TOO COLD TO LEAVE HOUSE, PILLS WERE
HELP
LOST THE CLIP. EFFECTS PERSIST.
PROBABLY COULDN'T PICK IT UP
ANYWAYS, SMALL MIRACLE I GOT IT
IN THE BOWL TO BEGIN WITH.
FOUND THINGS TO EAT
AFTER MUCH TRIAL &
ERROR.
ATTACKED BY CAT WHEN
I TASTED IT. NOT
ACTIVELY HOSTILE BUT
POTENTIAL HAZARD
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NET WT 7.9 OZ (223g) [Illegible]
TIMEPIECE STOPPED AT
7.9 223. TOO CLOUDY TO
INFER PASSAGE OF TIME.
PROBABLY NOT TEMPORAL
ANOMALY.
INFURIATED. FEEL LIKE AN ALIEN IN
HOSTILE ENVIRONS. I REMEMBER BEING
AN EFFECTIVE PARTICIPANT IN THE
WORLD, BUT ONLY AS A DREAM.
MAYBE I'M NOT TRYING
HARD ENOUGH. IS IT
THIS MUCH WORK FOR
EVERYONE?
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FOUND IT!
[Illegible]
END OF BOWL ONE
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SORRY ABOUT HANDWRITING
AND DIGRESSIONS. FACTS ABOUT
THE CLIT:
- DOESN'T MOVE IN LINE OF SIGHT
- METALLIC AND FLEXIBLE
- APPEARANCE CONSISTENT IN PHOTOS
AND REALITY
- NOT REMOTELY HORNY ENOUGH
TO TEST ITS INTENDED FUNCTION.
DON'T JUDGE ME FOR OWNING IT
IT WOULD BE EASIER
IF I WAS TOTALLY
USELESS. THEN I COULD JUST
CURL UP AND WAIT FOR HELP.
BUT I CAN WRITE, SO I
HAVE TO TRY.
WHAT A CRUEL JOKE.
HOPEFULLY, THIS WILL SUFFICE.